Aster
travelling satelite
Flirting is hard when you're gay and in the closet.
And for someone as socially awkward as Leo Volscale, it was practically impossible.
The antsy brunet maneuvered through the halls of the teenage battle zone called high school, head low as its always been, avoiding eye contact despite having no one remotely interested to meet it.
"Hey, Leo!"
Well, almost no one.
Instead of turning back, the boy only walked faster. He could practically hear the quickened footsteps behind him and another call of his name as he pushed through the throng of people, muttering apologies when shoulders bumped only to be halted in his steps by a hand on his forearm.
"Hey, geez. Are you deaf or something?" an all-too-familiar voice complained in between huffs. It's the one that haunts him in his dreams and leaves him waking more ashamed and guilty than anything else. With heavy reluctance, Leo turns and forces a tired smile.
"Sorry, didn't hear you there," he says, lying effortlessly. Lying becomes second nature when you're in the denial closet. The earbuds in his ears are pulled out, despite the fact that nothing was playing from them. Hell, he hadn't even plugged his phone in.
"It's fine," the boy, Lucel, replies with an airy wave. The skies in his eyes are alight with such incontestable vibrance, it has Leo's stomach churning. He finds himself unable to meet it, choosing instead to fiddle with the tangled wires of his headphones.
"Hey, are you coming to Jess' party tonight? I heard they plan to have a bonfire. You know, to burn all those last year study papers we worked our asses on. You should definitely come!" Lucel grins, hooking an arm around Leo's neck and standing a little too close for the brunet's comfort. Internally he was screaming.
"Oh.. huh. Yeah, sure," Leo replies, like his mind is lagged and his brain is failing to catch up with the inarticulate string of sounds that leave his mouth. The sorry excuse of a reply makes him want to die, but he shrugs off his mortification with a disinterest grunt. He looks and sounds a lot calmer than he actually is.
The curves on Lucel's face do not fail to leave him blinded and Leo does not miss (though he wishes he did) the way he slides his hands from his shoulder down his arm in a light, fleeting touch. A laugh leaves the blonde, a beautiful sound that teases the soul and captures the attention of those around.
"Alright, cool. I'll see you there then," Lucel winks with his usual cheek. It's a gesture which only he could pull off naturally and it damns Leo every time, especially when he had first met the blonde.
"Yeah, okay." Leo replies simply, as Lucel waves and turns on his heel, heading in the opposite direction without looking back once. He watches as the blonde's back is swallowed by the nameless sea of faces and only then did he realize, he had been holding his breath.
.
"I feel stupid," Leo grumbles.
"That's cause you are stupid," his sister, Ianna replies without having to look up from her phone.
Leo shoots her a glare from where he's standing. The mirror infront of him does little to help on his self-esteem.
"If you don't like going to those events, you should just tell him you can't make it," Ianna suggests, ignoring the glare thrown her direction.
She finally looks up at him, brows raising as a condescending smirk rises on her lips, "Oh right, I forgot. You're literally incapable of saying no to him."
Leo bites back a retort for lack of better words. Even if he did responded, it would just be another empty lie. Repeated experiences have proven that he really was whipped when it came to Lucel and almost shamefully so.
Before he could reply, his phone rings, making him jolt into animated flurry. A voice laughs on the other side, "Need a ride?"
Even through the static, Leo could hear the smile in his words and Leo responds as he always has, running towards the door, his sister yelling a "Don't come back too late!". The door is flung open and a gust of cold air greets him. Waiting for him in front of his house is the faded black jeep Lucel always drives around. His breath makes fogs in the air as he waves the brunet over.
"You don't need to always pick me up, you know," Leo grumbles as he slides into the passenger seat, though everytime Lucel does, he's more than grateful for a few extra moments with the boy. A few extra torturous minutes. "What if I've already gone?"
Lucel releases the handbrake and throws his head back in a laugh. "Leo, you've never gone to anything unless I picked you up," he points out, smug and teasing.
Leo does his best not to panic at that. Has he really been that obvious?
"That's not true," he answers too quickly.
It has Lucel looking over in concern. He raises a brow at the brunet curiously and shrugs. "Well, okay. Did you bring the papers to burn, by the way?"
Leo nods, glad for the change of topic. He has a whole folder of papers ready for burning. Past year tests, quizzes, unsent love letters and scripted replies and dialogues when addressed by a certain someone.
"Have you?" Leo asks, clearing his throat.
"Nah, turns out my mother threw most of mine in the recycling bin. Let me burn some of yours, yeah?" Lucel asks, and Leo is glad that his gaze is focused on the icy road instead of the stupidly surprised look on his face.
"Y-yeah.. sure," Leo responds, making a mental reminder to sort out the tests from everything else. There was no way in hell, he was going to let Lucel see his pathetic confessions, even if they were left unnamed. It was impossible to identify who he was writing about based on the note alone, but that didn't make it any less embarrassing.
.
The ride to Jess' place is uneventful.
Despite the handful of seniors invited, there are still enough people around for Leo to feel suffocated. He keeps his head low as he maneuvers around the small cliques, lagging behind like Lucel's shadow.
Unlike him, Lucel seems to know everyone around. He laughs and greets, smacking hands, chatting effortlessly; and Leo can't help but to follow him with his eyes. Envious of him, envious of the people around him.
He both hates and loves the boy because Lucel is perfect and Leo is not. Lucel is like the sun and Leo is nothing but a pebble on the roadside who somehow managed to catch the eye of everyone's high school heartthrob. He hates how the boy concerns himself in his painfully ordinary affairs and wedges himself into his schedule time and time again. He hates how he smiles at him and listens to him as though what Leo says matters. And most of all he hates because Lucel, despite his misleading advances and flirtatious teasing, his constant attention and interest in the brunet, likes girls.
The reminder of which is horribly unfair.
Leo watches impassively as Lucel leans in to meet mouths with a girl beside him. The other teens seated around him cheer loudly because it was a dare in a stupid game of truth and dare, and Leo forgets why he's even here in the first place. He feels stupid for coming, for staying and he wants to leave, but before he can Jessica, the host, gets up from the circle and declares they should start the mass burning.
The fireplace in the center of the circle is lit and people start throwing in papers.
As Leo is sorting out the non-confidential papers for Lucel to burn, someone bumps into him coincidentally. The papers in his hands fly and land in total disarray in the snow, and Leo scrambles for the sheets praying to dear god that no one would bother with his fumbling. (You all saw that coming.)
And of course, Lucel has to lean in and pick a sheet off the ground for him. His eyes skim through the ramble of words laid bare on the parchment and he blinks, surprised as he hands it back to Leo.
"Wow, sounds like someone has a crush," Lucel muses as Leo clambers to his feet in strict mortification. "Who's the lucky person?" he asks, stepping forward into Leo's space, pressing on with that shit-eating grin of his.
Leo instinctively takes a step back and Lucel takes another step forward.
"Could it be..." Lucel asks, words dragging as his gaze skims across Leo's whole being. "Me?"
The world stops spinning for a second and the organ inside Leo's chest hammers like its about to break out of its bony prison. He looks Lucel in the eye and sees uncharacteristic urgency. It's an almost hunger-panged look that has the brunet's throat running dry. His mind is at a loss for words and as Leo stands there, one thought comes to mind:
He wishes he could say no.
And for someone as socially awkward as Leo Volscale, it was practically impossible.
The antsy brunet maneuvered through the halls of the teenage battle zone called high school, head low as its always been, avoiding eye contact despite having no one remotely interested to meet it.
"Hey, Leo!"
Well, almost no one.
Instead of turning back, the boy only walked faster. He could practically hear the quickened footsteps behind him and another call of his name as he pushed through the throng of people, muttering apologies when shoulders bumped only to be halted in his steps by a hand on his forearm.
"Hey, geez. Are you deaf or something?" an all-too-familiar voice complained in between huffs. It's the one that haunts him in his dreams and leaves him waking more ashamed and guilty than anything else. With heavy reluctance, Leo turns and forces a tired smile.
"Sorry, didn't hear you there," he says, lying effortlessly. Lying becomes second nature when you're in the denial closet. The earbuds in his ears are pulled out, despite the fact that nothing was playing from them. Hell, he hadn't even plugged his phone in.
"It's fine," the boy, Lucel, replies with an airy wave. The skies in his eyes are alight with such incontestable vibrance, it has Leo's stomach churning. He finds himself unable to meet it, choosing instead to fiddle with the tangled wires of his headphones.
"Hey, are you coming to Jess' party tonight? I heard they plan to have a bonfire. You know, to burn all those last year study papers we worked our asses on. You should definitely come!" Lucel grins, hooking an arm around Leo's neck and standing a little too close for the brunet's comfort. Internally he was screaming.
"Oh.. huh. Yeah, sure," Leo replies, like his mind is lagged and his brain is failing to catch up with the inarticulate string of sounds that leave his mouth. The sorry excuse of a reply makes him want to die, but he shrugs off his mortification with a disinterest grunt. He looks and sounds a lot calmer than he actually is.
The curves on Lucel's face do not fail to leave him blinded and Leo does not miss (though he wishes he did) the way he slides his hands from his shoulder down his arm in a light, fleeting touch. A laugh leaves the blonde, a beautiful sound that teases the soul and captures the attention of those around.
"Alright, cool. I'll see you there then," Lucel winks with his usual cheek. It's a gesture which only he could pull off naturally and it damns Leo every time, especially when he had first met the blonde.
"Yeah, okay." Leo replies simply, as Lucel waves and turns on his heel, heading in the opposite direction without looking back once. He watches as the blonde's back is swallowed by the nameless sea of faces and only then did he realize, he had been holding his breath.
.
"I feel stupid," Leo grumbles.
"That's cause you are stupid," his sister, Ianna replies without having to look up from her phone.
Leo shoots her a glare from where he's standing. The mirror infront of him does little to help on his self-esteem.
"If you don't like going to those events, you should just tell him you can't make it," Ianna suggests, ignoring the glare thrown her direction.
She finally looks up at him, brows raising as a condescending smirk rises on her lips, "Oh right, I forgot. You're literally incapable of saying no to him."
Leo bites back a retort for lack of better words. Even if he did responded, it would just be another empty lie. Repeated experiences have proven that he really was whipped when it came to Lucel and almost shamefully so.
Before he could reply, his phone rings, making him jolt into animated flurry. A voice laughs on the other side, "Need a ride?"
Even through the static, Leo could hear the smile in his words and Leo responds as he always has, running towards the door, his sister yelling a "Don't come back too late!". The door is flung open and a gust of cold air greets him. Waiting for him in front of his house is the faded black jeep Lucel always drives around. His breath makes fogs in the air as he waves the brunet over.
"You don't need to always pick me up, you know," Leo grumbles as he slides into the passenger seat, though everytime Lucel does, he's more than grateful for a few extra moments with the boy. A few extra torturous minutes. "What if I've already gone?"
Lucel releases the handbrake and throws his head back in a laugh. "Leo, you've never gone to anything unless I picked you up," he points out, smug and teasing.
Leo does his best not to panic at that. Has he really been that obvious?
"That's not true," he answers too quickly.
It has Lucel looking over in concern. He raises a brow at the brunet curiously and shrugs. "Well, okay. Did you bring the papers to burn, by the way?"
Leo nods, glad for the change of topic. He has a whole folder of papers ready for burning. Past year tests, quizzes, unsent love letters and scripted replies and dialogues when addressed by a certain someone.
"Have you?" Leo asks, clearing his throat.
"Nah, turns out my mother threw most of mine in the recycling bin. Let me burn some of yours, yeah?" Lucel asks, and Leo is glad that his gaze is focused on the icy road instead of the stupidly surprised look on his face.
"Y-yeah.. sure," Leo responds, making a mental reminder to sort out the tests from everything else. There was no way in hell, he was going to let Lucel see his pathetic confessions, even if they were left unnamed. It was impossible to identify who he was writing about based on the note alone, but that didn't make it any less embarrassing.
.
The ride to Jess' place is uneventful.
Despite the handful of seniors invited, there are still enough people around for Leo to feel suffocated. He keeps his head low as he maneuvers around the small cliques, lagging behind like Lucel's shadow.
Unlike him, Lucel seems to know everyone around. He laughs and greets, smacking hands, chatting effortlessly; and Leo can't help but to follow him with his eyes. Envious of him, envious of the people around him.
He both hates and loves the boy because Lucel is perfect and Leo is not. Lucel is like the sun and Leo is nothing but a pebble on the roadside who somehow managed to catch the eye of everyone's high school heartthrob. He hates how the boy concerns himself in his painfully ordinary affairs and wedges himself into his schedule time and time again. He hates how he smiles at him and listens to him as though what Leo says matters. And most of all he hates because Lucel, despite his misleading advances and flirtatious teasing, his constant attention and interest in the brunet, likes girls.
The reminder of which is horribly unfair.
Leo watches impassively as Lucel leans in to meet mouths with a girl beside him. The other teens seated around him cheer loudly because it was a dare in a stupid game of truth and dare, and Leo forgets why he's even here in the first place. He feels stupid for coming, for staying and he wants to leave, but before he can Jessica, the host, gets up from the circle and declares they should start the mass burning.
The fireplace in the center of the circle is lit and people start throwing in papers.
As Leo is sorting out the non-confidential papers for Lucel to burn, someone bumps into him coincidentally. The papers in his hands fly and land in total disarray in the snow, and Leo scrambles for the sheets praying to dear god that no one would bother with his fumbling. (You all saw that coming.)
And of course, Lucel has to lean in and pick a sheet off the ground for him. His eyes skim through the ramble of words laid bare on the parchment and he blinks, surprised as he hands it back to Leo.
"Wow, sounds like someone has a crush," Lucel muses as Leo clambers to his feet in strict mortification. "Who's the lucky person?" he asks, stepping forward into Leo's space, pressing on with that shit-eating grin of his.
Leo instinctively takes a step back and Lucel takes another step forward.
"Could it be..." Lucel asks, words dragging as his gaze skims across Leo's whole being. "Me?"
The world stops spinning for a second and the organ inside Leo's chest hammers like its about to break out of its bony prison. He looks Lucel in the eye and sees uncharacteristic urgency. It's an almost hunger-panged look that has the brunet's throat running dry. His mind is at a loss for words and as Leo stands there, one thought comes to mind:
He wishes he could say no.
The day I stop ending posts on cliffhangers is the day I'm no longer me.
But then again, this piece is pretty cliche and self-indulgent. I'm pretty sure no one would really care much to see the ending.
So the theme was flirting, yeah? And like, when you think flirting, you'd think about those cheesy, gag-worthy lines and all that romantic gush. Buying flowers, or whatever. I don't know man.
BUT TBH, I find the most effective flirting tactics are in the little things, you know? Little things like nonchalant touches, consistent acts of kindness (bonus points if it's "for some reason" only directed at you), cheeky comments. Those are the things I tried to pour into Lucel for my interpretation for flirting.
Anyways, yeah. Thanks for reading. Peace out.
But then again, this piece is pretty cliche and self-indulgent. I'm pretty sure no one would really care much to see the ending.
So the theme was flirting, yeah? And like, when you think flirting, you'd think about those cheesy, gag-worthy lines and all that romantic gush. Buying flowers, or whatever. I don't know man.
BUT TBH, I find the most effective flirting tactics are in the little things, you know? Little things like nonchalant touches, consistent acts of kindness (bonus points if it's "for some reason" only directed at you), cheeky comments. Those are the things I tried to pour into Lucel for my interpretation for flirting.
Anyways, yeah. Thanks for reading. Peace out.
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