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Hello!
Not sure if you know me, but I'm very excited right now!
That was hospital one.
I sat on the couch doing nothing for a month before finally going to my new therapist. She sent me inpatient again.
Then I went to an Out Patient Program
So! To the point!
Today, 6/23 I graduated from my outpatient program! That means I'm cleared from treatment and deemed perfectly fine, healthy, and ready to take on the world. I'm really happy, because I just went through over four months of intensive treatment that took up a lot of my time. That's why I tended to be off a lot. But today I was discharged and I'm really happy! (Also, I got free pizza to celebrate, so it was worth it). And now I have lots of offline friends who probably understand me better than I do. (I don't understand myself at all...) And it's a happy day because I can be a normal kid again! After about an almost five year span of in and out of needing treatment, I'm really happy now. I don't think I'll ever be going back in there... Outpatient success story!
Also, I saw a squirrel and it was pretty...
Not sure if you know me, but I'm very excited right now!
Let's say the new hospital SUCKED! First day I got there, they made me stay separate from my dad which we both didn't want. So I signed myself into the mental ward...
Got to see my dad for about three minutes before they made me go upstairs. The people had said I could keep my stuffed animal (I was scared and knew I wasn't allowed to have my necklace, so I had that instead). I went up the elevator to the second floor...
BUT IT STOPPED! And started to slowly fall and rise and I started crying and sitting in a corner trying to tell the lady to push all the buttons and call for help. We were yelling and could hear people outside... They ignored us (The teens actually later told me that yes, they had just ignored us...) I finally got out…
Then they put me in a freezing room for over an hour and a half with nothing to do. I was tired, it was 8:00 at night when they put me in there, and it was cold and I was slowly freaking out. I poked my head out of the little padded room and asked someone if there was someone coming. "Go back in there and be patient!" They yelled at me.
I went back in the room. About half an hour later the person came in and told me I should have been more mature and just waited... I was scared and just nodded.
Anyways, time skip past that. Got put in a room with two girls and one told me that if I tried anything she'd kill me. The other just tried to make me dab... I was not comfortable... They finally got that I wasn't going to be social and was a stiff scared little child who was terrified at the moment, and let me go to sleep. That night I stayed asleep past breakfast the next day.
Someone finally woke me up and tried to make me go into a large room full of plastic arm chairs and lots of people that I didn't know. I stood in the hallway. They told me I had to go in, but I shook my head. They started to get mad when I began to panic, and eventually said I could go to my room. I went in there very quickly and stayed there for about half an hour before they called for a meeting. We introduced ourselves. I forgot everyone.
My first group was scary. The people were yelling at the teacher, and the teacher didn't like me. Also, they only gave me basic addition... The doctor came and talked to me for a while and tried to diagnose me with lots of things. Then I went back to group and found a very loud scary music room with screaming kids smashing drums.
I went back to my room and stayed there until lunch, where they carted mine up. Because I wasn't 'ready' to go to lunch downstairs yet. I just threw out my lunch because it was a soggy grilled cheese sandwich.
That night I was supposed to call my parents, but one boy freaked out and started fighting the staff. We got sent to our rooms. My new roommate told me to not worry and just stay calm. I cried a bit because I was terrified. I heard him screaming right outside the door. He got restrained and kept screaming for a long time. I fell asleep.
The nurse that next day told me I couldn't have my meds and yelled at me. I was very stressed. That day my parents dropped off lots of clothes for me.... AND BOOKS! I was so happy to have books! Needless to say, I did not go to group and stayed in my room. Also! They took my stuffed animal and gave me a stupid little cartoon doll... It was terrifying. I now carried a book with me instead of the animal.
Monday, I got out. I got out for my birthday, and also because my parents were very mad at the place for treating me badly... They took me off my medicine for three days. So I was home!
Got to see my dad for about three minutes before they made me go upstairs. The people had said I could keep my stuffed animal (I was scared and knew I wasn't allowed to have my necklace, so I had that instead). I went up the elevator to the second floor...
BUT IT STOPPED! And started to slowly fall and rise and I started crying and sitting in a corner trying to tell the lady to push all the buttons and call for help. We were yelling and could hear people outside... They ignored us (The teens actually later told me that yes, they had just ignored us...) I finally got out…
Then they put me in a freezing room for over an hour and a half with nothing to do. I was tired, it was 8:00 at night when they put me in there, and it was cold and I was slowly freaking out. I poked my head out of the little padded room and asked someone if there was someone coming. "Go back in there and be patient!" They yelled at me.
I went back in the room. About half an hour later the person came in and told me I should have been more mature and just waited... I was scared and just nodded.
Anyways, time skip past that. Got put in a room with two girls and one told me that if I tried anything she'd kill me. The other just tried to make me dab... I was not comfortable... They finally got that I wasn't going to be social and was a stiff scared little child who was terrified at the moment, and let me go to sleep. That night I stayed asleep past breakfast the next day.
Someone finally woke me up and tried to make me go into a large room full of plastic arm chairs and lots of people that I didn't know. I stood in the hallway. They told me I had to go in, but I shook my head. They started to get mad when I began to panic, and eventually said I could go to my room. I went in there very quickly and stayed there for about half an hour before they called for a meeting. We introduced ourselves. I forgot everyone.
My first group was scary. The people were yelling at the teacher, and the teacher didn't like me. Also, they only gave me basic addition... The doctor came and talked to me for a while and tried to diagnose me with lots of things. Then I went back to group and found a very loud scary music room with screaming kids smashing drums.
I went back to my room and stayed there until lunch, where they carted mine up. Because I wasn't 'ready' to go to lunch downstairs yet. I just threw out my lunch because it was a soggy grilled cheese sandwich.
That night I was supposed to call my parents, but one boy freaked out and started fighting the staff. We got sent to our rooms. My new roommate told me to not worry and just stay calm. I cried a bit because I was terrified. I heard him screaming right outside the door. He got restrained and kept screaming for a long time. I fell asleep.
The nurse that next day told me I couldn't have my meds and yelled at me. I was very stressed. That day my parents dropped off lots of clothes for me.... AND BOOKS! I was so happy to have books! Needless to say, I did not go to group and stayed in my room. Also! They took my stuffed animal and gave me a stupid little cartoon doll... It was terrifying. I now carried a book with me instead of the animal.
Monday, I got out. I got out for my birthday, and also because my parents were very mad at the place for treating me badly... They took me off my medicine for three days. So I was home!
I was sent into a hospital, they took me off my meds and yelled a lot. I was scared. Three days later my parents got me out for my birthday because they didn't like the way I was being treated.
That was hospital one.
I sat on the couch doing nothing for a month before finally going to my new therapist. She sent me inpatient again.
This one was actually really good. The people kept me with my mom the whole time, so I was happy. She was with me the whole time. These guys told me straight up that I couldn't have my stuffed animal, so I was happy not to have it simply plucked away 24 hours later when I was already used to it. These people were very nice and talked to me a lot. There was one janitor whom introduced himself as 'Boss' so I called him boss. He called me little boss, so I was happy. I said hello to him every day when I saw him.
Here we did not have to pass through the adult or children sections to get to our areas. The Adolescent unit had three wings, North (All girls), East (Mostly boys with girls), and South (For those with the most acute symptoms that may require a bit more support during treatment. Reasons, sometimes self harm, headbanging, or simply just the need for more support.) I was in the North wing, and it was pretty fun there. I came in around 4:00 PM, and got myself settled into my room. It was at the very end of the hallway, and it was cool because I liked being in the corner. I also had the bed nestled into the corner so I was veeery happy! Everyone was really nice and talked to me a bit. I read my book when I was nervous. I like Cassy (Not going to use real name) because she talked to me about the merits of each book and character. We also discussed movie qualities because our lounge area had a TV with lots and lots of different movies (Watch Spirited Away... Was a little freaked out by the parents thing...) We had nice groups and a doctor's visit every day. We also met with a social worker. Visiting was every day, so that was good. But my parents lived too far to visit at all, so I didn't see them. I got out a week later, and was pretty happy
Here we did not have to pass through the adult or children sections to get to our areas. The Adolescent unit had three wings, North (All girls), East (Mostly boys with girls), and South (For those with the most acute symptoms that may require a bit more support during treatment. Reasons, sometimes self harm, headbanging, or simply just the need for more support.) I was in the North wing, and it was pretty fun there. I came in around 4:00 PM, and got myself settled into my room. It was at the very end of the hallway, and it was cool because I liked being in the corner. I also had the bed nestled into the corner so I was veeery happy! Everyone was really nice and talked to me a bit. I read my book when I was nervous. I like Cassy (Not going to use real name) because she talked to me about the merits of each book and character. We also discussed movie qualities because our lounge area had a TV with lots and lots of different movies (Watch Spirited Away... Was a little freaked out by the parents thing...) We had nice groups and a doctor's visit every day. We also met with a social worker. Visiting was every day, so that was good. But my parents lived too far to visit at all, so I didn't see them. I got out a week later, and was pretty happy
I got admitted to a much friendlier place for a week and came out happier and went into an outpatient program
Then I went to an Out Patient Program
I went to an outpatient program for almost three months. I made lots of friends and had lots of good skills to learn. Along with some ranting times where everyone got to either just rant happily (Like me sometimes, where I'd basically ramble on for twenty minutes and say some weird things ((Frickin Chicken Nuggets))) Or you could just cry about something. Or you could just curse about something (Like if you tripped and that made you mad. We'd all get mad at the rock with you.) And we learned some other stuff that I already forgot. But that's okay!
So! To the point!
Today, 6/23 I graduated from my outpatient program! That means I'm cleared from treatment and deemed perfectly fine, healthy, and ready to take on the world. I'm really happy, because I just went through over four months of intensive treatment that took up a lot of my time. That's why I tended to be off a lot. But today I was discharged and I'm really happy! (Also, I got free pizza to celebrate, so it was worth it). And now I have lots of offline friends who probably understand me better than I do. (I don't understand myself at all...) And it's a happy day because I can be a normal kid again! After about an almost five year span of in and out of needing treatment, I'm really happy now. I don't think I'll ever be going back in there... Outpatient success story!
Also, I saw a squirrel and it was pretty...
YAY!
