Chitchat ADHD Anonymous | Probably Means You

[Kloudy]

Why hello there my dear caffeine-addled media consumers, so kind of you to doomscroll by~​

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Hey, it's Kloudy! I've been roleplaying on RPN for a while now, but its been a long time since I have posted any non-rp content. So!

I was diagnosed with mild-moderate ADHD earlier in the year and the more research into it I do, the more things start to make sense. It sort of feels like I'm connecting puzzles pieces I didn't know I had to solve. But looking things up online for long enough burns me out and nobody wants that.

So I thought I'd start this lil fireside chitchat! I'll be sharing some of my experiences and commenting on some of the more common traits this neurodivergence affords us. Please feel free to share your own experiences here, especially the brain-lag moments!

I've noticed a lot of us tend to gravitate towards each other naturally, so if any of this seems familiar then you're most likely in the right place. And if you don't think this is talking about you, don't worry! Come and be educated, I can almost guarantee you know someone in your life with it - undiagnosed frens I mean you!

And without further ado...​

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Yeah I know you needed an image right about now. People say we have short attention spans, but really they mean we get bored quickly. Maybe that's where the hyperactivity comes in. Like logically I know I should be content not moving while resting, BUT MY BODY - MY BODY'S TELLING ME YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES-

*ahem*

Did you know this is because we're actually constantly understimulated and therefore searching for something our brains deem a valuable use of our time? I suppose it makes sense when you consider that we can also get overstimulated and overwhelmed quickly - it's really more of an attention disregulation than a deficit.

Hobby-Hopping is a pretty common method for avoiding ADHD boredom. Y'know, when you really wanna play that sport, but you still have this passion project you've been working on for five months, but you haven't played that instrument in a while and HEY you just remembered you used to paint and-

And by the end of it you now play five sports, three instruments, have a minor gallery building in the corner of your room and about 2000 hours on that video game you don't even like that much. But you won't throw away your sports outfits because you might play again, you can't just sell your instruments since you do know how to play them, plus it would be such a sentimental waste to get rid of all that art you drew and you can't uninstall that game when you've sunk that many hours in already!

Yeah, it can be a lot to handle sometimes. But on the brightside keeping busy means you won't get bored! Generally it gets easier to stick to a hobby if you do it with a friend, habits build structure and that means we'll actually be able to remember we have a thing we're supposed to be going to.

Which segues me perfectly into the next segment:

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Sorry this next part is about memory, I just found that meme funny - but it's actually a myth that goldfish have short memories. They're more like dogs in that they just keep eating and eating apparently.

But! My fellow ADHDers are the ones that must deal with this memory nerf. Have you ever brought your phone somewhere, put it down for a moment to get a snack and then completely lose sight of it? Gone in the void; sucked into the dark dimension; consumed by the side table? Jk it's literally where you left it on the side.
#getprankt

Yeah, annoying. It's pretty easy to get frustrated over these kind of things, so it's important to remember to have patience in how you deal with yourself. Set reminders, download organisation apps, stick post it notes on your face - even if it doesn't feel like it's helping doing something towards it will have an effect! You'll also feel better for at least trying. ️

I've got the memory nerf pretty bad personally, to the point where I sometimes struggle to remember the order of the months. Crazy right? Thank god for smartphones and stuff. I forget to reply to texts a lot as well though, which can rub people the wrong way sometimes. I just look away for 3 seconds and suddenly it's been 3 hours since I opened that last message.

I feel like the more neuro-normative people are informed on the matter, the less abrasive we'll come across. It ain't personal, my friend, I swears it!

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Whew, that's probably enough for now. I'd just like to reiterate that these are just my experiences along with some light research - I am by no means an expert or a qualified authority. Others may experience things differently, similarly or not at all as it is all a spectrum.

You might find you have some of the ADHD traits, but not all. It might be slightly different depending on your sex (physical). Or you might have something else entirely that affords you similar traits - I have a friend with autism-aspergers and there are definitely a few behaviours we share.

But above all, thank you for taking the time to read this! It's a lot, so either you've forced yourself to get to the end or you simply couldn't stop reading. Either way I appreciate you! I'll be doing more of these, so until then feel free to share your own stories, post links to helpful information and ask your questions: I'll do my utmost to try and answer them all.

Until then, my dear doomscrollers~

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[Shawdios]

I don’t have a diagnosis, due to to the fact that my mother doesn’t want us on any medications.

This same mother likely also has a more moderate/under the radar ADHD, how she parents is makes it more obvious.

Exhibit A, Inconsistent grounding: where she forgets we’re grounded and then the grounding is over if you ask for the taken activity/item. Or the item disappears into the void and she forgets where she hid it)

Exhibit B, putting off things: she often forgot things we brought up to her and wanted to do, so we stopped trying and went with whatever she had on the calendar as activities. Or, she would say we would do *insert task* tomorrow and then tomorrow rolls around and we don’t do it.

Exhibit C, Late, or forgotten item: running joke in the house when I was younger was that our family was either Late, or on time and forgetting things. To compensate, we always got ready super early, and left super early. But some how, some way, we’d always be either late or forgetting something.

There are more instances that I can’t remember at the moment because they aren’t fresh in my mind.

I would also like to mention me and my siblings are homeschooled! So.

Exhibit D, Grading: due to forgetful nature, my mother always forgot to grade things, or put off grading schoolwork. Which often lead to a teen who despises their schoolwork (Aka me) putting off and lying about doing their schoolwork for months on end due to lack of accountability.

Not trying to say she’s a horrible mother, but things could have been better for me if there had been more consistency.

I struggle more severely than my mother with: forgetting to eat food for nearly the entire day, barely sitting through 15 minute lectures, needing constant background noise, tapping feet/fingers constantly, fiddling with items unknowingly, high difficulty starting and stopping tasks, hard time remembering lists, time blindness, accidentally ghosting friends from out-of-sight = Out-of-mind

I’m fairly certain I’ve got ADHD in some form, along with most of my family.

 

[Sorin]

I'm ADHD inattentive and I'm struggling to finish reading these posts, but I'm bookmarking it to read later!

 

[Kloudy]

I don’t have a diagnosis, due to to the fact that my mother doesn’t want us on any medications.

This same mother likely also has a more moderate/under the radar ADHD, how she parents is makes it more obvious.

Exhibit A, Inconsistent grounding: where she forgets we’re grounded and then the grounding is over if you ask for the taken activity/item. Or the item disappears into the void and she forgets where she hid it)

Exhibit B, putting off things: she often forgot things we brought up to her and wanted to do, so we stopped trying and went with whatever she had on the calendar as activities. Or, she would say we would do *insert task* tomorrow and then tomorrow rolls around and we don’t do it.

Exhibit C, Late, or forgotten item: running joke in the house when I was younger was that our family was either Late, or on time and forgetting things. To compensate, we always got ready super early, and left super early. But some how, some way, we’d always be either late or forgetting something.

There are more instances that I can’t remember at the moment because they aren’t fresh in my mind.

I would also like to mention me and my siblings are homeschooled! So.

Exhibit D, Grading: due to forgetful nature, my mother always forgot to grade things, or put off grading schoolwork. Which often lead to a teen who despises their schoolwork (Aka me) putting off and lying about doing their schoolwork for months on end due to lack of accountability.

Not trying to say she’s a horrible mother, but things could have been better for me if there had been more consistency.

I struggle more severely than my mother with: forgetting to eat food for nearly the entire day, barely sitting through 15 minute lectures, needing constant background noise, tapping feet/fingers constantly, fiddling with items unknowingly, high difficulty starting and stopping tasks, hard time remembering lists, time blindness, accidentally ghosting friends from out-of-sight = Out-of-mind

I’m fairly certain I’ve got ADHD in some form, along with most of my family.

Whew, my mother also has ADHD harder than I got it and DAMN do I see the parallels now that I'm older! I feel you there, I sometimes blamed her for things I didn't like about myself when I was younger and it's only now that I realise how much harder it must have been for her to parent by comparison to neurotypicals. It's not always ideal, but we're all trying out best.

Also I couldn't imagine getting homeschooled on top of all that, I was glad when I could go to school and at least get a break from the chaos! Now that I've had time to branch off and go to university our relationship has greatly improved, but it can really became a high-pressure melting pot when everyone gets heated huh?

I also forget to eat, need constant background noise, tap and fidget with my hands, start and stop things inconsistently, have trouble remembering anything in general, time blindness and ghosting my friends because I can't immediately see them. I think object permanence in general must be a problem for us. But I always to this day find it amazingly crazy how specifically similar the ADHD traits can be between us. Most of those things in that list you mentioned I resonated with.

Also I love your colour-coding - 100% stealing that for my next update!

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I'm ADHD inattentive and I'm struggling to finish reading these posts, but I'm bookmarking it to read later!

Hello and welcome! No worries my friend, everything at your own pace. We'll still be here when your interest calls you and you'll probably have even more content to digest when you get back!

Also did you know there's a type of text style called bionic reading that is apparently designed to help people like us read at the speed of light? If I can figure it out, I might see if I can do it here as well.

 

[Sorin]

Hello and welcome! No worries my friend, everything at your own pace. We'll still be here when your interest calls you and you'll probably have even more content to digest when you get back!

Also did you know there's a type of text style called bionic reading that is apparently designed to help people like us read at the speed of light? If I can figure it out, I might see if I can do it here as well.

I write Roleplay notes in this style for a friend of mine who has undiagnosed ADHD! She tends to miss important details, but has found this is helpful for her.

 

[Kloudy]

I write Roleplay notes in this style for a friend of mine who has undiagnosed ADHD! She tends to miss important details, but has found this is helpful for her.

I'm happy to hear! It's so nice knowing there are others out there benefiting from these resources. You're so kind for doing that for her, I'm sure she greatly appreciates it. ️

 

[dhampir]

I went through a rabbit hole reading your threads and the things linked, found myself eventually in the ADHD subreddit and I just feel so very seen. It all sounds exactly like what I've been dealing with my whole life, but never had words for. And I suppose a small part of me is just shocked that not everyone has these struggles. I've lived with them for so long, I just know them as the way life is. It's hard to imagine it any other way. But damn if it doesn't explain a hell of a lot!