I need this land to make sure I have a secure way to get to Europe though
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Yes, as a part of the larger Meri Empire. You would still be King of Valenwood but under the Meri Empire (and thus, purple on the map. The same color as the PDDRP which will become the Meri Empire)
You swear your loyalty to King Gadethyn Onmarothi and to protecting all Mer. King Gadethyn will become Emperor Gadethyn and the Kingdom of Valenwood will remain a kingdom within the Meri Empire with its own Bosmeri rulers.
There aren't really any other options. If we join the war we'll risk losing trading ships and goods plus we'll need to spend money for our army. If we stay out, we can sell to both sides who'll need the supplies for fighting or compensating for their home factories being turned into war supplies...