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>Der: He's obviously the one near the front with slightly more horn-like ears and bolder lines!

>Der: Seek out your long-lost friend, Will (maybe he knows where to find the paper)

>Der: Take the piece of paper the tentacle just wrote on and give it back to him.

>Der: Inquire as to where one might find the payment for the boat.

(( just a heads up that the cable to my tablet broke so it'll be a few days before the next update!! ))

As stupid as that sounds, I think you may be right, faceless tooltip guide. ... Uh, hi. I don't know if you can like, hear any of this. I'm not even sure if I'm even saying anything out loud at this point, to be honest, but, ... I guess what I'm trying to say is... Sorry? ... ...

What? ... Oh, you were making a joke. I didn't know disembodied voices had senses of humour, but I guess we can't all be utilitarian all the time. 'Sides, what did you think I was going to do? Turn around and go where? ... I hope you know this is going to be boring. ... Who lit all...

>Der: Use paint to draw the tentacle a nice tie!

>Der: shake the tentacle's... tentacle... and introduce yourself!

>Der: Ask the box what it's pointing to using your impressive charade skills.

It's not like there's anything else to do. ... I don't know what you expected, to be honest. Just more empty blackness. Feel free to pitch in with any other INGENIOUS suggestions. ... Point taken. ... It just looks like another candle, though, so it's still more of the same. I wasn't...

alternatively, >Der: Use some of the paint to draw yourself a mouth for screaming purposes.

>Der: Summon your inner ninja and punch-silence the box so you can think, damn it!

It's good to see the strange helpful tips aren't going anywhere. Seems like whenever you turn up, the plot just happens to get moving. ... ... I'll begrudgingly admit that wasn't a bad idea. Looks like I have a MAKE-SHIFT TORCH now. Hope it doesn't melt away too fast. ... Can I feel...

>Der: Swim right towards the vague yet menacing tentacle, I mean, friendly arm!

Well, I'm not sure what we're supposed to do now. ... Huh. Well, that's convenient. And also useless! Did you not see the strange spectral being that snuffed out the candle just one post ago? It's pitch... Oh, look. More plot conveniences. I do love me some lazy writing! ... It's...

What a cliché it is, to open up in a dark and mysterious room. And what a cliché it is to point out your clichés in your story, as if this makes it okay and you, as an author, are "meta" or whatever the hell you want to say to excuse this overused rubbish. A cliché is a cliché, and by pointing...

>Der: Submerge yourself in what is obviously slime and absorb its power.

>Der: name yourself Der with this helpful name badge for everyone to see

>Ninja: Take the "der" and stick it to your smooth, featureless face