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It's not you, it's me, this is for the best.

An old saying here (where I am irl) that isn't much used anymore or known to most is when it rains, and the sun is shining "The Devil is beating his wife."

For Dereliction of Duty, your sentence is death.

"Domo Arigato, I'm Mr. Roboto."

Nah, you look like a tragic back story Fire Emblem Character, we know how this ends.

Doesn't know about the Coca-Cola South American Death Squads till it's too late.

Pepsi Cola death squads hit back at coke's work in South America.

"Hey kids! Wanna know the spoilers that happen to me next!?"

"The Art of War hehehe. Once all is lost, you must commit ritual suicide."

Stab, be released from your torment.

"I don't want to kill you! But I'm aiming for the cockpit anyways."

Ice

"I wonder if they think I'm cool for doing this stare with the special effects."

I cannot have a meaningful relationship with a mecha, only the conquest of the stars and the deaths of my enemies.

7/10, not my favorite type of cat.

Who wants to catch the laser pointer dot!? YOU DO!

I have tons of stories, from a JROTC instructor that was schizophrenic, to the fact we had a school cop before most schools did. I had great luck at playing with the virtual stock exchange before that got regulated all to hell and back, made the teacher that I would report the virtual shit too...

"Thank you Mister Eldritch, I would indeed like some more Tea."

Can't you read the sign? No Cats need apply.

Blue Fin Tuna