RpNation

You can always join one and gain inspiration from other RPers! It's just a suggestion though. I hope you gain inspiration and motivation; and have a blast with your first ever RP!

Well sounds good but, I've been conflicted like this for about 3 or so years... And I am trying to see if I can force through my lack of motivation to see if I can get somewhere

Being conflicted is normal and it's understandable. I think you should try something simple, like just free-writing. Not for an RP, particularly but just write down any sentences, ideas, plots etc. That come to your mind and whatever jumps out at you and inspires you; could be awesome for starting your RP. And I also recommend, finding out whether you prefer 1x1 or groups or both. I hope this helps!

Alright, well, I will go try and see what I can write.

Great! But don't get angry with yourself, if you get blocked at any point during this free-writing process. Just take a break and come back, when you feel ready to write more of what's on your mind.

sukaithemoonlord774 Well I made a short story, but idk if I like it that much. https://www.rpnation.com/threads/random-short-story.385835/