Osthavula
Deliciously insightful one
If there is one thing to complain.
Collette looked at her clock. It was quite an unfortunate event, and she really wouldn’t blame herself for it happening. But one of the heavier clothes slid so soundlessly, and the smooth fur and even smoother silk offered no resistance. It pushed the clock on the floor, let it scattered over her waxed redwood like a kaleidoscope piece. With that being knocked over and scattered, Collette could no longer tell the time, and she was lost beneath the painted ceiling and four solid walls. Having picked the humble location for her office, she didn’t have the convenience of windows, nor did she check the time for quite some hour. So, is it day time? Night time? Has the city slept? She couldn’t tell. Once she collected the pieces from the floor and the fur scarf which fell with it, the actress slumped into her chair, and drew a long breath. The time has froze, she thought. The air was stagnated and dull. One could almost use a cigarette to lighten this place up, or really, she had stayed in this space for too long.
Why hasn’t she left the office, she wondered.
It’s the pile of clothes. She reasoned. Everyone of them had went on and off her in these long hours. One must be selected, the director said, and everyone else had something to do besides choosing the clothes. It must be done.
Or, it was just an excuse to stay here. Collette could have easily find something to do, someone to meet. But she was here, putting on and putting off these threaded fabrics, wondering about them against the mirror, and slid them back into the pile. Her eyes within pointed somewhere else. Something else. Her instinct moved restlessly.
When her soul started to doubt the dullness of her actions and the reason for it all, the reason answered. A sound. A dull sound, almost didn’t get to her wondering little mind. But there she was, leaving the garments, pulled up the dress skirt over the cleaned floor, and reaching for the door knob. The welcome sign was hung already, swinging as it showed her the visitor.
Behind the door, Hieronymus stood, dressed as if flustered. The collar of his black dress shirt was untamed, and his sleeves had the distinct pattern of those that had been continuously raised over time. His eye seemed to have been distracted, and he stared at the doorframe with wide eyes, his right hand still raised slightly where it was after he had knocked.
He noticed the door had been opened for him about ten seconds after the fact. The actress’ form tightened his figure, causing him to return both hands to his pockets, straighten his back and narrow his eyes with a clearing of the throat. The only recalcitrant part of his normality was the fact he wore no jacket, nor any waistcoat or vest. His arms shaped the sleeves.
“Miss Holst, I…” he stopped, looked away, then looked back again, “... just had to see you again.”
Not even a casual or formal greet, but a disarming honesty gifted in a statement, Collette smiled out of genuine amusement while she invited him in with a gesture. It was only after she closed the door for him, and the single chuckle long faded with his entrance, that she managed to piece together a reply. “And I supposed you could say that I had to wait for your visit?” She looked around, especially on the pile of clothes still arranged on her table. “Though do excuse the mess. I was waiting but… Didn’t expect it to be this exact moment. “
She didn’t expect it... But rather, she felt it. Like he would walk in the door any minute.
He laid eyes on her as a child would lay eyes on ivy climbing a wall of their home: a hardy plant finding root and nutrient in the impossible; an insect’s climbing path to unseen heights; a secret natural touch; the suggestion of a secret garden.
“I’m glad you’ll make the exception for my visit,” he said. “I would have notified you but… I didn’t walk here consciously. I don’t think I did, at least. It’s been a strange day. Excuse me.”
“Then I am honoured that you would visit my humble office unconsciously, Mr Hartley. I would take it that you came here… Well, let’s ask it this way. “ Collette prepared a meaningful smile, guiding him to the sofa and stood opposite him. “Did you come here as a journalist of Capers? Or have you come … Privately?”
Was he even prepared to answer the question in his state? The actress chose to trust him to understand her inquiry, the seeking eye moved from his sleeves to his collar to his face, wondering about the traces, and their reasons. Her real curiosity lies underneath his features.
“As a journalist? No. That ended yesterday. Anything I’m here for is purely personal. Or,” he shrugged one shoulder, “the very opposite of personal. Even so, it all comes back to personal in the end, really. One way or t’other at least. Firstly,” he gathered himself for a moment, not sitting down just yet, “I’d like to apologise for… actually, no, I’m not sorry. Forget that. What is it about you? How can one woman be so open yet so… veiled, simultaneously? I suppose you and the Nightingale share the same thread. Actually, I’d wager you, the Nightingale and Mrs Horowitz share the same thread. You’re from the same ilk, if you like. And yet… I’ve come to you. Even if we forget all we know about the other two I just mentioned… I’ve come to you regardless.”
“But I think we both know why you came to me instead of Olympia and Bernadette. Isn’t it because you think that answers will come easier through me than the others?” Collette remained standing, and the two faced off each other with the hanging light between them. The warm light reflected rather strangely in her emerald eyes. Though her word could potentially be in a challenging tone, it wasn’t. It came out like a casual statement, almost like an assessment through an old friend. Her stance, though straight, emit no guards or hostility. “Though I would say the same to you, Mr Hartley. You are not exactly open, if I could say so. “
One of his hands hand wandered to his collar, and he was running its corner through his finger in a slow, preoccupied pattern as he remained before her. His eye was both trained on her, and not on her. Like he was resting unliving golden gems in her direction, gems that caught the light under his mask of similar white and gold, but gems that served no purpose. It was evident he soaked up her words because the faintest suggestion of a smile threatened his lips.
“You know, I almost want to deny that. Given my reputation, is it not entirely possible I’m in front of you and speaking as I am because I want, simply, you? That’s the sort of message my fans like to spread. It is important to... listen to messengers,” he had his eyes on hers as he spoke, but his expression took on subtle masques depending on what he said. When he finished speaking, which he did which a careless shrug of one shoulder, the hand resumed its pattern on the collar. The eyes, though, kept their spark.
Upon the mention of “messenger” yet again, Collette raised one brow at him --- He knew it mean something, alright, so it wasn’t like she could conceal it with yet another one of reactionless. But he threw it around too often and too carelessly. Given the weight she knew the word applied, it was… Unwise.
“Well, given your reputations, I doubt the desire for… me, will hold your tongue back as much as it did?”
Collette’s reply was almost as playful as the follower of his described his words to be. But then, she pulled on her long dark frock, wrapped the velvet around her legs, and settled down on the cushioned seat. With the graceful leaning on the sofa, she assumed a position, one that was too relaxed for any mere acquaintance. “And, before I can help you with what you seek, Mr Hartley, it is I who want from you. Honesty, and trust, if you are willing to spare it to me. Because it would be an awful disappointment if you don’t. “
She gave a pause, returning his gaze and places her hands lightly on her knees.
“Tell me, Hieronymus Hartley. What do you live for? When trouble and conflicts arise, where doth your loyalty lie?”
“Again, no point denying anything,” he said. The serious look lasted only a second longer before it cracked, and Hieronymus smiled. Genuine enjoyment, seasoned with mirth, broke through his façade. He fairly lost and regained himself in a moment. His hand raised, roughly pulling at the strings of ribbon behind his head as he doffed his mask. When he looked back to the actress, she would see the dark, weathered hint to his face gone, replaced with an expression that would have been lost if he had kept up his public appearances. He didn’t say a word until he dropped his mask onto the table as he sat down, discarding it atop the day’s copy of the Capers which lay neatly there.
“Since you essentially uncovered the conformation I have been searching for, I’d say you have given me what I want already. But I’ll humour you, Miss Holst, I’ll humour you. I’ll be more naked with you than the world, if you wish. My answers will have what you asked for. I live for myself, and I live for my son. Both of those things are saturated with the colour of Cassiopia. That’s why I know something is wrong. Something below the surface, and I’m ashamed I haven’t an eye more open to see what is wrong. I’m rectifying this. Risking my job by acting up in front of Bernadette; risking my reputation with illegal eavesdropping - I’m not sorry for that, by the way. I’d rather take a small hit than my city goes down in smoke. And you know what? I wrote about the Nightingale, and realised I knew only a hundredth of what she knows about the city. I can’t call it my city with this knowledge. I want to call it my city. Because it is my city.”
So, a loyalty to Cassiopia? It wasn’t heroic or grand, a selfish tie to the city, and with a little self-care and greed hanging here and there like the baskets in her garden. But then, it was an honesty that --- like his first spoken sentence today --- disarmingly honest. Her playful smile was put away, like the mask of his, and only a faint hint of it remained as well as her side leaning pose. She considered every enunciation of his words and every movement on him, then the possible future of this man who now sat in front of her. Maskless, more naked than the city know of. She quietly admit to self that she was at a loss of reaction. But there was more at stake than just the immediate reply and her image to him that she needed to remember.
Will he be on their side? If he obtain that knowledge, enough to claim that city as his again, what will he do then? Will he be a friend? An enemy? Or just a bystander that cuts off relations? Collette strangely find the thought of facing off him unpleasant. The felt of dread puppeteered by Inge, and the horror of nearly losing Olympia, and that helplessness of watching her allies disappeared, all still loomed over beneath the solid roof. She let a sigh away, let it disperse in the air like smoke of cigarette. She… She wanted to get her answer, but the former question wasn’t enough. Her knowledge wasn’t enough.
“It is not something that I would describe as ‘wrong’, exactly. It’s never as simple as that, Mr Hartley. We both watch this city as long as Olympia did, but there is something… Something we will never gain as much… “ The thread of thoughts unconsciously guided the actress forward, a hand pressed on the glass of the coffee table, her mind search again in his eyes, now without the barrier of the mask. It was strange, how when the mask was off, one almost felt self-conscious as the sight grazed the skin, parts that were normally exposed with another individual. “I’m asking, Mr Hartley. What you said, love for the city or love for self, is it something I can count on? “
Then her fingers found their ways to his mask, and gently move it to reveal the article Hieronymus authored. It was read so close to the printing time that a few letters had smudged, as if watered. Like presenting something precious she rotated the paper, both hands carefully shifted it, moving the article surely in front of the eyes of Liar Hartley until the colours of the picture can be caught on their reflection.
“Is this something I can count on, as well?”
He watched her as if she’d not picked up the paper. “If part of you didn’t think you could count on it, you’d have sent me away already. Am I not correct?”
She blinked. “Well. Yes, I hope. I would hope to hear your account on that instead. Afterall, we have known each other for… How long? Barely three hours?”
“My account means nothing without your assumptions of me to begin with. I could give you my word, but what’s the point? I know a word like Liar, despite being so small, never really washes off. If you want my word, I’ll give it to you regardless. Yes. I want to know what’s going on in my city, and I want to fix it. Takes more than an actress, a songstress and a journalist to turn the city’s wheels. It takes… uh,” he looked away, realising he couldn’t just say ‘a journalist’ to emphasise his point. He looked back with a bashful chuckle. “Two… journalists? I don’t know. I didn’t really think that sentence through.”
She chuckled with him, but her action was somber --- walked to the door, checked if anyone was near, quietly locked it and she returned not in her seat, but only a thread away from where he sat. Close enough that he could hear even her breath, and could converse in a volume that one couldn’t hear two steps away. “I know that the effect of ‘Liar’ still lingers for Bernadette, and for a lot of people. But the word you give will prove better than my assumption. You have already touched on things you shouldn’t have, Mr Hartley, one that could have affected people you love easily, and it is not something you can back out. If you continue to be ill-informed, and… For example, mentioning the Messenger too many times, you risk putting you and your son in danger.”
Her words were nearly just breath, but she made sure he heard every word she intended.
“I myself would think that is not a path some of us would like to see. So, though I can’t guarantee you I know and can answer everything, ask me questions. Quietly. “
“I didn’t mention anything,” he said, looking at her. Her expression floored him for a second, his defiance drained. In her voice, unabashedly, was the truth of what he’d been circling the whole time. A secret layer, two parts of which were right in front of him the whole time. And one of those parts had got shot. Shot, no doubt, not by a rabid and jealous fan or mad actor, but shot because of who she was to this secret layer.
Collette wasn’t afraid to show him that. To show him who was in the firing line. To show him where the gun was trained to: himself; his son.
The realisation caused a fluttering in his chest as breath abandoned him. He was nothing short of afraid. What he was afraid of seemed unbearably close. Fiction made reality. A monster jumping from a book to bite your neck, to draw blood.
His mouth, though, had other ideas. It was not so afraid.
“What is it I have failed to see all these years, then, that even Bernadette is a part of?”
“When the fish lays quiet in the water, it is harder to find it. “ Collette remarked, as her fish swam ever slightly in the bowl behind them. “But when the water is disturbed, and the fish has to go, you will see it once it escapes the ripples.”
That didn’t quite guide her to begin explaining. With a quick glance of his face, she searched for his thoughts. She didn’t quite find it, yet.
“I supposed I can begin with the Messenger. “Another of her breath landed on his folded sleeves. “He is exactly like the name suggest. Nothing more, nothing less. He was in a place where if he gives information, they are valuable and insightful. But, if someone knew the name, they are… More involved. I wonder how you came to find it. “
That’s what she wanted to know for all these time. How did Hieronymus Hartley, a journalist who ever noticed their activities, came to know a name that she had only heard of. That curiosity overcame all the doubts she had concerned for Liar Hartley. Perhaps, perhaps.
“Would you enlighten me? Or should I continue?”
“I’ll tell you. Just to prove what I said about giving you my word. It’s very, very simple. A man in the capital died, and I was besieged the day after this happened by both Dr Ashley - if you remember who she is - and Mrs Horowitz, despite the fact I would never have been the one to write, or to confirm, an obituary. They both said not to write about him. Of course, given my confusion, I felt there was something I didn’t know that Bernadette did. So I looked into it, I looked into him. Then I got into contact with someone who sold me a dossier of information on the guy, at which point I was reminded by Bernadette not to write on him. Since Dr Ashley agreed, I put the dossier aside and haven’t used it anywhere. I’ve looked at it a few times recently, but never used it… only since his son came to me.”
“His son, and the person who gave you the dossier, are they safe?”Collette appeared concerned, but then seemed to paid a bit effort to wiped it off. “But I see, so you have interest before now. “
It took yet another moment, time to consider what his words amount to, and where her words could lead. “I supposed his son might be aware of some hints, but how did you first consider that there is something more? I wouldn’t think there was enough traces to get you this close.”
“His son is,” Hieronymus nodded slightly. “But the person who sold me the dossier, I have no idea. He wasn’t one of your people was he? On top of that, I… ah, well. It started with his son coming to see me, then I was rather annoyed at Bernadette kicking me out of my interview so she could speak with the Nightingale, then there was her Ruth telling me she thought something existed… then yesterday when she was quick to bite at me and defend you. Then of course, the fact you three make up some sort of group... Plus… a few nights ago, I realised that you entered the room when Bernadette was talking with the Nightingale,” he blinked at her. “That just cemented it for me. Friendships are one thing, but I never heard of Bernadette having links to two actresses as friends.”
“Here I thought my imitating voice was good.” Collette said, a bit sulkingly, but then agreed with him with an amused look. “Forgive me, it is the one thing I was praised for above Nightingale. It is true that our friendship with Mrs Horowitz developed only shortly, and what you heard on the other end…” She blinked back, “Was really my first conversation with Mrs Horowitz. I hope our interview wasn’t too unpleasant, though to my defence, you did become harsh briefly. It too brought to me the idea that you have more knowledge than Mrs Horowitz would expect. She wouldn’t have brought you here if she had known. ”
Then she smiled widely, and gave him a stare like looking at an interesting puzzle. “And, if you didn’t know so much, you wouldn’t be here, then. Would you?”
He sat very still, his expression altering slowly to a mixture of bashful admittance and slight annoyance. “I suppose I lost my temper. It was very unlike me… though I don’t regret it, if only in that it allowed me to… find you. And yes, I fear my recent conduct has put a veil over me in her eyes. She thinks me reckless, unprofessional. Fairly good assumptions, yes, only perhaps to a degree more than usual. If anything, I am thankful that you see the light where she only sees dark. She is an opinionated and strong woman, and those qualities are what elevate her to her status in the Capers. She doesn’t take chances, not with anyone in her team. She says ‘no,’ she means ‘no.’” Then he smiled again. “I suppose I’m the other side of her coin. We look for different things. And I’m not what she wants to see… not recently at least. That’s all it is.”
“What she saw was not lost in our eyes. “ She referred to Olympia, with a slight melancholy in her tone. “But it is because you saw something more than just a journalist. You didn’t come to inquire so you can put in on your paper, nor did you turn harsh in the interview because you want my reaction exposed. Not to the crowd, but to your knowledge. “
“I supposed I am… Taking chances. “ Words came out slowly, like Collette was slowly digesting her own thoughts. “You are less predictable than a lot of people would like, Mr Hartley. I have not a clue what you might do after your veil is lifted from your eyes. I can only… Assume. Assuming you won’t end up turning the gun at us, assuming you won’t just write and publish it all, assuming you are worth saving… I mean... “ The possibility of what he might be was too grim to mention for now, she reckoned. “That may have put me as very optimistic, compared to Mrs Horowitz. What she does is indeed, safe. But I have worked with people and the unpredictables… and you are, I supposed, instinctively worth taking a chance on. You are not of dark nature, Mr Hartley.“
What led her to that assumption, she didn’t explain. There was a darkening in her expressions that, sitting so closely by the shoulders, difficult to notice from his sight.
“Only good things, I hope… Slap me if I get it wrong,” he smiled again, chuckled a slight bit.
“Would a slap stop you from what you do?” Her amusement came once again, mirroring his. He only shrugged, as if to suggest a slap would do something, even if it wasn’t stopping him. “As for your dossier supplier, I fear… It’s, hard to say without a name. Tell me, when you say ‘one of your people’, what do you have in mind?”
“I mean… you, Bernadette and the Nightingale. And of course… deceased Apollo. In whatever secret clubhouse you have going…” he gave a dismissive wave of his hand, in jest. “The guy only called himself Xylem, by the way. Not sure if it means anything to you.”
She grinned wider thanks to his phrasing of “secret clubhouse”. “I don’t remember that name, but then again a lot of names are forgotten. Including mine. And, well. It’s not exactly a clubhouse. It’s more like a connection. An agreement. More formal than us sitting here sharing and less committed than an actual existing building. It just so happens that its influence was a little more than a University sorority. What do you think about that, Mr Hartley?“
Hieronymus had begun scowling slightly as she spoke. In his mind, connections were being made as assumptions were being broken. Every word that fell from her lips was building his view of the world higher and higher.
“From what you’ve said… there must be more of you. It can’t just be the four of you. It can’t be, not if people forget names.”
He sat back, his mouth falling open slightly as his expression hovered on the verge of acceptance and intense frustration. How had he missed so much… in his own city? If it was simply the three woman like he thought it was, he believed he could forgive himself for his short-sightedness. But what if there were a hundred? Two hundred? Or maybe even just twenty, fifty.
“How did I miss so much?” he muttered very faintly, his expression still unable to make up its mind.
The actress seemed to have found his expression very intriguing indeed. She had waited him to wander in the maze of his mind, before she finally decided to give another hint. “It is easier to observe changes. “ She said, smiling like a child observing. “But it is harder when it has been there all along, yes?”
“I… suppose. You must just be being polite to me by saying that. The change must be regarding the boy. And the Nightingale getting shot… your… the secret layer of Cassiopia must be out of balance somehow. I only began thinking this way when Mrs Carlyle’s daughter suggested such a thing might exist. At least I have something to report to her…” he laughed, shortly. “Although considering who Ruth Carlyle is… I don’t imagine her being ignorant to this, not at all… She’s the daughter of a woman who single-handedly changes the economy, and a man who built Klokklsby. No way she was ignorant. Tell me I’m right.”
“You were helping Ruth? That makes it a lot easier.” The blonde gleamed at the mention of Olympia’s daughter. “She must have grown much since I last saw her. But if she would even tell you something, then it must have meant things were grave. “ Her expression turned solemn, and she corrected herself. “Things are grave. Olympia being shot was not the beginning nor the end. You are right, things are off balance. “
“Ruth’s got… Marlow’s son. Safe, of course, under her iron fist. Um…” Hieronymus cleared his throat. “What can I do? I won’t leave without you giving me something to do. Since you know whatever is going on, and I don’t, all I can do is grovel and ask for something to do. If not for the Nightingale’s sake, then for the city’s. Please, Collette. Please.”
Watching the man who once turn sharp words toward her, the very same man sat maskless and honestly pleading, Collette wished, if only she knew what to do. If she hadn’t been so helplessly sitting around wondering the very same thing. “I am… Olympia’s voice. Her own connection was cut off completely the month before abruptly, and from what I heard, violently. You know the three of us, but other than us and our family. “ She paused, remembering she had no family, and moved on. “We had no one we could trust. I just, in a way, took you into our … My confidence, and I see that Ruth had done the same thing. What’s more, she did the one thing that I am worrying about. “
“She.. Did not give you a name, did she? Mr Hartley?”
“A name? No… I suppose she wanted me to figure that out myself.”
“Because giving you the name will bear the responsibility. We swore confidentiality for more than its sake. Ignorance could have keep you safe. My hope was that you would realise the severity of your action, and be more cautious for your own safety, but not only you are too close in multiple ways, you won’t really stop knowing and investigating. And I… I want people she can depend on. “
Without any warning, Collette pulled his arm so she could reach above his neck. Unaware that her hair had blocked his eye, her lips brushed into his ear the name.
With her hair in his view, Hieronymus instinctively closed his eyes, just in time for him to hear the three syllables. He realised how little it meant to his inexperienced brain, but felt the weight of the word, punctuated by the weight of her against him.
His hand raised as he turned his head, his own features very close to hers, and brushed the hair from his face, bringing it gently back into Collette’s style. As he did so, he allowed the backs of his fingers to make themselves known against her shoulder.
“You know… perhaps I have been a bit reckless. There are things at stake… I recognise that now,” he spoke slowly, his eyes on hers, not moving away from her. He focused on the flecks in her green eyes, the splashes of brown, perhaps of amber.
“Then I hope that you remember. “ She lowered the curtain of her eyes, only to bring it back up again. “Because I can’t let the the children bear the responsibility. You know the name now, and I hope you remember the people who is important to you and people that care. And, perhaps, spare me the responsibility of bearing your danger in my hand? “ She brought up a smile.
He merely raised his finger to his mirthful lips with a wink.
Accepting that reply, Collette slip herself back down along his shoulder, and rested back onto the sofa. With the composure that only an actress could have, she leaned back, taking a break. “You can, I think, finish doing what Ruth might want. I can only wait here and wait for the moment I am needed.”
Then, with a question that she did not want to answer, yet another reason her mind knew but search for, she parted her lips once again, eyes nailed on the ceiling. Dull, without sun or stars or the indication of time. “Then, if you wouldn’t mind, perhaps you can visit me? To share what is happening out there, of course. ”
Spoken like a caged bird without the Siren’s guide.
“Now I know what Ruth wanted, I can give it to her,” Hieronymus agreed, fiddling with his sleeve. It was a distraction, a distraction from Collette breaking the surface of the silver pool that was their closeness to each other. “I will take whatever comes my way. Which, now I know what is happening, should not be impossible to predict. Care. Attention. Attentiveness. All things very unlike me,” he laughed. “I joke, of course. I care immensely. Now…”
He stood up, deciding it was he who would bring a ceasefire to their conversation. He retrieved his mask from the table, doing it up around his eyes with intricate hand movements. When he was done, and after he had smirked down at his article for a moment, he looked to his host again.
“Do not wait for me,” he said. “It is more fun, don’t you agree, if we simply… appear in each other’s presences?”
It was unlikely, from Collette’s point of view. She was Olympia’s voice, but now it appeared that Ruth became the action, and another person became the eyes, and there was the weariness that suddenly worn her that she may have to stay in this skyless room for a long time. But she showed no such weariness, instead she returned a smirk to him.
“I look forward to it, Mr Hartley. “
“Of course you do,” he said, airily, and proceeded to stroll from her office with no more than a flick of his wrist and glance over his shoulder to signify his goodbye.
Collette looked at her clock. It was quite an unfortunate event, and she really wouldn’t blame herself for it happening. But one of the heavier clothes slid so soundlessly, and the smooth fur and even smoother silk offered no resistance. It pushed the clock on the floor, let it scattered over her waxed redwood like a kaleidoscope piece. With that being knocked over and scattered, Collette could no longer tell the time, and she was lost beneath the painted ceiling and four solid walls. Having picked the humble location for her office, she didn’t have the convenience of windows, nor did she check the time for quite some hour. So, is it day time? Night time? Has the city slept? She couldn’t tell. Once she collected the pieces from the floor and the fur scarf which fell with it, the actress slumped into her chair, and drew a long breath. The time has froze, she thought. The air was stagnated and dull. One could almost use a cigarette to lighten this place up, or really, she had stayed in this space for too long.
Why hasn’t she left the office, she wondered.
It’s the pile of clothes. She reasoned. Everyone of them had went on and off her in these long hours. One must be selected, the director said, and everyone else had something to do besides choosing the clothes. It must be done.
Or, it was just an excuse to stay here. Collette could have easily find something to do, someone to meet. But she was here, putting on and putting off these threaded fabrics, wondering about them against the mirror, and slid them back into the pile. Her eyes within pointed somewhere else. Something else. Her instinct moved restlessly.
When her soul started to doubt the dullness of her actions and the reason for it all, the reason answered. A sound. A dull sound, almost didn’t get to her wondering little mind. But there she was, leaving the garments, pulled up the dress skirt over the cleaned floor, and reaching for the door knob. The welcome sign was hung already, swinging as it showed her the visitor.
Behind the door, Hieronymus stood, dressed as if flustered. The collar of his black dress shirt was untamed, and his sleeves had the distinct pattern of those that had been continuously raised over time. His eye seemed to have been distracted, and he stared at the doorframe with wide eyes, his right hand still raised slightly where it was after he had knocked.
He noticed the door had been opened for him about ten seconds after the fact. The actress’ form tightened his figure, causing him to return both hands to his pockets, straighten his back and narrow his eyes with a clearing of the throat. The only recalcitrant part of his normality was the fact he wore no jacket, nor any waistcoat or vest. His arms shaped the sleeves.
“Miss Holst, I…” he stopped, looked away, then looked back again, “... just had to see you again.”
Not even a casual or formal greet, but a disarming honesty gifted in a statement, Collette smiled out of genuine amusement while she invited him in with a gesture. It was only after she closed the door for him, and the single chuckle long faded with his entrance, that she managed to piece together a reply. “And I supposed you could say that I had to wait for your visit?” She looked around, especially on the pile of clothes still arranged on her table. “Though do excuse the mess. I was waiting but… Didn’t expect it to be this exact moment. “
She didn’t expect it... But rather, she felt it. Like he would walk in the door any minute.
He laid eyes on her as a child would lay eyes on ivy climbing a wall of their home: a hardy plant finding root and nutrient in the impossible; an insect’s climbing path to unseen heights; a secret natural touch; the suggestion of a secret garden.
“I’m glad you’ll make the exception for my visit,” he said. “I would have notified you but… I didn’t walk here consciously. I don’t think I did, at least. It’s been a strange day. Excuse me.”
“Then I am honoured that you would visit my humble office unconsciously, Mr Hartley. I would take it that you came here… Well, let’s ask it this way. “ Collette prepared a meaningful smile, guiding him to the sofa and stood opposite him. “Did you come here as a journalist of Capers? Or have you come … Privately?”
Was he even prepared to answer the question in his state? The actress chose to trust him to understand her inquiry, the seeking eye moved from his sleeves to his collar to his face, wondering about the traces, and their reasons. Her real curiosity lies underneath his features.
“As a journalist? No. That ended yesterday. Anything I’m here for is purely personal. Or,” he shrugged one shoulder, “the very opposite of personal. Even so, it all comes back to personal in the end, really. One way or t’other at least. Firstly,” he gathered himself for a moment, not sitting down just yet, “I’d like to apologise for… actually, no, I’m not sorry. Forget that. What is it about you? How can one woman be so open yet so… veiled, simultaneously? I suppose you and the Nightingale share the same thread. Actually, I’d wager you, the Nightingale and Mrs Horowitz share the same thread. You’re from the same ilk, if you like. And yet… I’ve come to you. Even if we forget all we know about the other two I just mentioned… I’ve come to you regardless.”
“But I think we both know why you came to me instead of Olympia and Bernadette. Isn’t it because you think that answers will come easier through me than the others?” Collette remained standing, and the two faced off each other with the hanging light between them. The warm light reflected rather strangely in her emerald eyes. Though her word could potentially be in a challenging tone, it wasn’t. It came out like a casual statement, almost like an assessment through an old friend. Her stance, though straight, emit no guards or hostility. “Though I would say the same to you, Mr Hartley. You are not exactly open, if I could say so. “
One of his hands hand wandered to his collar, and he was running its corner through his finger in a slow, preoccupied pattern as he remained before her. His eye was both trained on her, and not on her. Like he was resting unliving golden gems in her direction, gems that caught the light under his mask of similar white and gold, but gems that served no purpose. It was evident he soaked up her words because the faintest suggestion of a smile threatened his lips.
“You know, I almost want to deny that. Given my reputation, is it not entirely possible I’m in front of you and speaking as I am because I want, simply, you? That’s the sort of message my fans like to spread. It is important to... listen to messengers,” he had his eyes on hers as he spoke, but his expression took on subtle masques depending on what he said. When he finished speaking, which he did which a careless shrug of one shoulder, the hand resumed its pattern on the collar. The eyes, though, kept their spark.
Upon the mention of “messenger” yet again, Collette raised one brow at him --- He knew it mean something, alright, so it wasn’t like she could conceal it with yet another one of reactionless. But he threw it around too often and too carelessly. Given the weight she knew the word applied, it was… Unwise.
“Well, given your reputations, I doubt the desire for… me, will hold your tongue back as much as it did?”
Collette’s reply was almost as playful as the follower of his described his words to be. But then, she pulled on her long dark frock, wrapped the velvet around her legs, and settled down on the cushioned seat. With the graceful leaning on the sofa, she assumed a position, one that was too relaxed for any mere acquaintance. “And, before I can help you with what you seek, Mr Hartley, it is I who want from you. Honesty, and trust, if you are willing to spare it to me. Because it would be an awful disappointment if you don’t. “
She gave a pause, returning his gaze and places her hands lightly on her knees.
“Tell me, Hieronymus Hartley. What do you live for? When trouble and conflicts arise, where doth your loyalty lie?”
“Again, no point denying anything,” he said. The serious look lasted only a second longer before it cracked, and Hieronymus smiled. Genuine enjoyment, seasoned with mirth, broke through his façade. He fairly lost and regained himself in a moment. His hand raised, roughly pulling at the strings of ribbon behind his head as he doffed his mask. When he looked back to the actress, she would see the dark, weathered hint to his face gone, replaced with an expression that would have been lost if he had kept up his public appearances. He didn’t say a word until he dropped his mask onto the table as he sat down, discarding it atop the day’s copy of the Capers which lay neatly there.
“Since you essentially uncovered the conformation I have been searching for, I’d say you have given me what I want already. But I’ll humour you, Miss Holst, I’ll humour you. I’ll be more naked with you than the world, if you wish. My answers will have what you asked for. I live for myself, and I live for my son. Both of those things are saturated with the colour of Cassiopia. That’s why I know something is wrong. Something below the surface, and I’m ashamed I haven’t an eye more open to see what is wrong. I’m rectifying this. Risking my job by acting up in front of Bernadette; risking my reputation with illegal eavesdropping - I’m not sorry for that, by the way. I’d rather take a small hit than my city goes down in smoke. And you know what? I wrote about the Nightingale, and realised I knew only a hundredth of what she knows about the city. I can’t call it my city with this knowledge. I want to call it my city. Because it is my city.”
So, a loyalty to Cassiopia? It wasn’t heroic or grand, a selfish tie to the city, and with a little self-care and greed hanging here and there like the baskets in her garden. But then, it was an honesty that --- like his first spoken sentence today --- disarmingly honest. Her playful smile was put away, like the mask of his, and only a faint hint of it remained as well as her side leaning pose. She considered every enunciation of his words and every movement on him, then the possible future of this man who now sat in front of her. Maskless, more naked than the city know of. She quietly admit to self that she was at a loss of reaction. But there was more at stake than just the immediate reply and her image to him that she needed to remember.
Will he be on their side? If he obtain that knowledge, enough to claim that city as his again, what will he do then? Will he be a friend? An enemy? Or just a bystander that cuts off relations? Collette strangely find the thought of facing off him unpleasant. The felt of dread puppeteered by Inge, and the horror of nearly losing Olympia, and that helplessness of watching her allies disappeared, all still loomed over beneath the solid roof. She let a sigh away, let it disperse in the air like smoke of cigarette. She… She wanted to get her answer, but the former question wasn’t enough. Her knowledge wasn’t enough.
“It is not something that I would describe as ‘wrong’, exactly. It’s never as simple as that, Mr Hartley. We both watch this city as long as Olympia did, but there is something… Something we will never gain as much… “ The thread of thoughts unconsciously guided the actress forward, a hand pressed on the glass of the coffee table, her mind search again in his eyes, now without the barrier of the mask. It was strange, how when the mask was off, one almost felt self-conscious as the sight grazed the skin, parts that were normally exposed with another individual. “I’m asking, Mr Hartley. What you said, love for the city or love for self, is it something I can count on? “
Then her fingers found their ways to his mask, and gently move it to reveal the article Hieronymus authored. It was read so close to the printing time that a few letters had smudged, as if watered. Like presenting something precious she rotated the paper, both hands carefully shifted it, moving the article surely in front of the eyes of Liar Hartley until the colours of the picture can be caught on their reflection.
“Is this something I can count on, as well?”
He watched her as if she’d not picked up the paper. “If part of you didn’t think you could count on it, you’d have sent me away already. Am I not correct?”
She blinked. “Well. Yes, I hope. I would hope to hear your account on that instead. Afterall, we have known each other for… How long? Barely three hours?”
“My account means nothing without your assumptions of me to begin with. I could give you my word, but what’s the point? I know a word like Liar, despite being so small, never really washes off. If you want my word, I’ll give it to you regardless. Yes. I want to know what’s going on in my city, and I want to fix it. Takes more than an actress, a songstress and a journalist to turn the city’s wheels. It takes… uh,” he looked away, realising he couldn’t just say ‘a journalist’ to emphasise his point. He looked back with a bashful chuckle. “Two… journalists? I don’t know. I didn’t really think that sentence through.”
She chuckled with him, but her action was somber --- walked to the door, checked if anyone was near, quietly locked it and she returned not in her seat, but only a thread away from where he sat. Close enough that he could hear even her breath, and could converse in a volume that one couldn’t hear two steps away. “I know that the effect of ‘Liar’ still lingers for Bernadette, and for a lot of people. But the word you give will prove better than my assumption. You have already touched on things you shouldn’t have, Mr Hartley, one that could have affected people you love easily, and it is not something you can back out. If you continue to be ill-informed, and… For example, mentioning the Messenger too many times, you risk putting you and your son in danger.”
Her words were nearly just breath, but she made sure he heard every word she intended.
“I myself would think that is not a path some of us would like to see. So, though I can’t guarantee you I know and can answer everything, ask me questions. Quietly. “
“I didn’t mention anything,” he said, looking at her. Her expression floored him for a second, his defiance drained. In her voice, unabashedly, was the truth of what he’d been circling the whole time. A secret layer, two parts of which were right in front of him the whole time. And one of those parts had got shot. Shot, no doubt, not by a rabid and jealous fan or mad actor, but shot because of who she was to this secret layer.
Collette wasn’t afraid to show him that. To show him who was in the firing line. To show him where the gun was trained to: himself; his son.
The realisation caused a fluttering in his chest as breath abandoned him. He was nothing short of afraid. What he was afraid of seemed unbearably close. Fiction made reality. A monster jumping from a book to bite your neck, to draw blood.
His mouth, though, had other ideas. It was not so afraid.
“What is it I have failed to see all these years, then, that even Bernadette is a part of?”
“When the fish lays quiet in the water, it is harder to find it. “ Collette remarked, as her fish swam ever slightly in the bowl behind them. “But when the water is disturbed, and the fish has to go, you will see it once it escapes the ripples.”
That didn’t quite guide her to begin explaining. With a quick glance of his face, she searched for his thoughts. She didn’t quite find it, yet.
“I supposed I can begin with the Messenger. “Another of her breath landed on his folded sleeves. “He is exactly like the name suggest. Nothing more, nothing less. He was in a place where if he gives information, they are valuable and insightful. But, if someone knew the name, they are… More involved. I wonder how you came to find it. “
That’s what she wanted to know for all these time. How did Hieronymus Hartley, a journalist who ever noticed their activities, came to know a name that she had only heard of. That curiosity overcame all the doubts she had concerned for Liar Hartley. Perhaps, perhaps.
“Would you enlighten me? Or should I continue?”
“I’ll tell you. Just to prove what I said about giving you my word. It’s very, very simple. A man in the capital died, and I was besieged the day after this happened by both Dr Ashley - if you remember who she is - and Mrs Horowitz, despite the fact I would never have been the one to write, or to confirm, an obituary. They both said not to write about him. Of course, given my confusion, I felt there was something I didn’t know that Bernadette did. So I looked into it, I looked into him. Then I got into contact with someone who sold me a dossier of information on the guy, at which point I was reminded by Bernadette not to write on him. Since Dr Ashley agreed, I put the dossier aside and haven’t used it anywhere. I’ve looked at it a few times recently, but never used it… only since his son came to me.”
“His son, and the person who gave you the dossier, are they safe?”Collette appeared concerned, but then seemed to paid a bit effort to wiped it off. “But I see, so you have interest before now. “
It took yet another moment, time to consider what his words amount to, and where her words could lead. “I supposed his son might be aware of some hints, but how did you first consider that there is something more? I wouldn’t think there was enough traces to get you this close.”
“His son is,” Hieronymus nodded slightly. “But the person who sold me the dossier, I have no idea. He wasn’t one of your people was he? On top of that, I… ah, well. It started with his son coming to see me, then I was rather annoyed at Bernadette kicking me out of my interview so she could speak with the Nightingale, then there was her Ruth telling me she thought something existed… then yesterday when she was quick to bite at me and defend you. Then of course, the fact you three make up some sort of group... Plus… a few nights ago, I realised that you entered the room when Bernadette was talking with the Nightingale,” he blinked at her. “That just cemented it for me. Friendships are one thing, but I never heard of Bernadette having links to two actresses as friends.”
“Here I thought my imitating voice was good.” Collette said, a bit sulkingly, but then agreed with him with an amused look. “Forgive me, it is the one thing I was praised for above Nightingale. It is true that our friendship with Mrs Horowitz developed only shortly, and what you heard on the other end…” She blinked back, “Was really my first conversation with Mrs Horowitz. I hope our interview wasn’t too unpleasant, though to my defence, you did become harsh briefly. It too brought to me the idea that you have more knowledge than Mrs Horowitz would expect. She wouldn’t have brought you here if she had known. ”
Then she smiled widely, and gave him a stare like looking at an interesting puzzle. “And, if you didn’t know so much, you wouldn’t be here, then. Would you?”
He sat very still, his expression altering slowly to a mixture of bashful admittance and slight annoyance. “I suppose I lost my temper. It was very unlike me… though I don’t regret it, if only in that it allowed me to… find you. And yes, I fear my recent conduct has put a veil over me in her eyes. She thinks me reckless, unprofessional. Fairly good assumptions, yes, only perhaps to a degree more than usual. If anything, I am thankful that you see the light where she only sees dark. She is an opinionated and strong woman, and those qualities are what elevate her to her status in the Capers. She doesn’t take chances, not with anyone in her team. She says ‘no,’ she means ‘no.’” Then he smiled again. “I suppose I’m the other side of her coin. We look for different things. And I’m not what she wants to see… not recently at least. That’s all it is.”
“What she saw was not lost in our eyes. “ She referred to Olympia, with a slight melancholy in her tone. “But it is because you saw something more than just a journalist. You didn’t come to inquire so you can put in on your paper, nor did you turn harsh in the interview because you want my reaction exposed. Not to the crowd, but to your knowledge. “
“I supposed I am… Taking chances. “ Words came out slowly, like Collette was slowly digesting her own thoughts. “You are less predictable than a lot of people would like, Mr Hartley. I have not a clue what you might do after your veil is lifted from your eyes. I can only… Assume. Assuming you won’t end up turning the gun at us, assuming you won’t just write and publish it all, assuming you are worth saving… I mean... “ The possibility of what he might be was too grim to mention for now, she reckoned. “That may have put me as very optimistic, compared to Mrs Horowitz. What she does is indeed, safe. But I have worked with people and the unpredictables… and you are, I supposed, instinctively worth taking a chance on. You are not of dark nature, Mr Hartley.“
What led her to that assumption, she didn’t explain. There was a darkening in her expressions that, sitting so closely by the shoulders, difficult to notice from his sight.
“Only good things, I hope… Slap me if I get it wrong,” he smiled again, chuckled a slight bit.
“Would a slap stop you from what you do?” Her amusement came once again, mirroring his. He only shrugged, as if to suggest a slap would do something, even if it wasn’t stopping him. “As for your dossier supplier, I fear… It’s, hard to say without a name. Tell me, when you say ‘one of your people’, what do you have in mind?”
“I mean… you, Bernadette and the Nightingale. And of course… deceased Apollo. In whatever secret clubhouse you have going…” he gave a dismissive wave of his hand, in jest. “The guy only called himself Xylem, by the way. Not sure if it means anything to you.”
She grinned wider thanks to his phrasing of “secret clubhouse”. “I don’t remember that name, but then again a lot of names are forgotten. Including mine. And, well. It’s not exactly a clubhouse. It’s more like a connection. An agreement. More formal than us sitting here sharing and less committed than an actual existing building. It just so happens that its influence was a little more than a University sorority. What do you think about that, Mr Hartley?“
Hieronymus had begun scowling slightly as she spoke. In his mind, connections were being made as assumptions were being broken. Every word that fell from her lips was building his view of the world higher and higher.
“From what you’ve said… there must be more of you. It can’t just be the four of you. It can’t be, not if people forget names.”
He sat back, his mouth falling open slightly as his expression hovered on the verge of acceptance and intense frustration. How had he missed so much… in his own city? If it was simply the three woman like he thought it was, he believed he could forgive himself for his short-sightedness. But what if there were a hundred? Two hundred? Or maybe even just twenty, fifty.
“How did I miss so much?” he muttered very faintly, his expression still unable to make up its mind.
The actress seemed to have found his expression very intriguing indeed. She had waited him to wander in the maze of his mind, before she finally decided to give another hint. “It is easier to observe changes. “ She said, smiling like a child observing. “But it is harder when it has been there all along, yes?”
“I… suppose. You must just be being polite to me by saying that. The change must be regarding the boy. And the Nightingale getting shot… your… the secret layer of Cassiopia must be out of balance somehow. I only began thinking this way when Mrs Carlyle’s daughter suggested such a thing might exist. At least I have something to report to her…” he laughed, shortly. “Although considering who Ruth Carlyle is… I don’t imagine her being ignorant to this, not at all… She’s the daughter of a woman who single-handedly changes the economy, and a man who built Klokklsby. No way she was ignorant. Tell me I’m right.”
“You were helping Ruth? That makes it a lot easier.” The blonde gleamed at the mention of Olympia’s daughter. “She must have grown much since I last saw her. But if she would even tell you something, then it must have meant things were grave. “ Her expression turned solemn, and she corrected herself. “Things are grave. Olympia being shot was not the beginning nor the end. You are right, things are off balance. “
“Ruth’s got… Marlow’s son. Safe, of course, under her iron fist. Um…” Hieronymus cleared his throat. “What can I do? I won’t leave without you giving me something to do. Since you know whatever is going on, and I don’t, all I can do is grovel and ask for something to do. If not for the Nightingale’s sake, then for the city’s. Please, Collette. Please.”
Watching the man who once turn sharp words toward her, the very same man sat maskless and honestly pleading, Collette wished, if only she knew what to do. If she hadn’t been so helplessly sitting around wondering the very same thing. “I am… Olympia’s voice. Her own connection was cut off completely the month before abruptly, and from what I heard, violently. You know the three of us, but other than us and our family. “ She paused, remembering she had no family, and moved on. “We had no one we could trust. I just, in a way, took you into our … My confidence, and I see that Ruth had done the same thing. What’s more, she did the one thing that I am worrying about. “
“She.. Did not give you a name, did she? Mr Hartley?”
“A name? No… I suppose she wanted me to figure that out myself.”
“Because giving you the name will bear the responsibility. We swore confidentiality for more than its sake. Ignorance could have keep you safe. My hope was that you would realise the severity of your action, and be more cautious for your own safety, but not only you are too close in multiple ways, you won’t really stop knowing and investigating. And I… I want people she can depend on. “
Without any warning, Collette pulled his arm so she could reach above his neck. Unaware that her hair had blocked his eye, her lips brushed into his ear the name.
With her hair in his view, Hieronymus instinctively closed his eyes, just in time for him to hear the three syllables. He realised how little it meant to his inexperienced brain, but felt the weight of the word, punctuated by the weight of her against him.
His hand raised as he turned his head, his own features very close to hers, and brushed the hair from his face, bringing it gently back into Collette’s style. As he did so, he allowed the backs of his fingers to make themselves known against her shoulder.
“You know… perhaps I have been a bit reckless. There are things at stake… I recognise that now,” he spoke slowly, his eyes on hers, not moving away from her. He focused on the flecks in her green eyes, the splashes of brown, perhaps of amber.
“Then I hope that you remember. “ She lowered the curtain of her eyes, only to bring it back up again. “Because I can’t let the the children bear the responsibility. You know the name now, and I hope you remember the people who is important to you and people that care. And, perhaps, spare me the responsibility of bearing your danger in my hand? “ She brought up a smile.
He merely raised his finger to his mirthful lips with a wink.
Accepting that reply, Collette slip herself back down along his shoulder, and rested back onto the sofa. With the composure that only an actress could have, she leaned back, taking a break. “You can, I think, finish doing what Ruth might want. I can only wait here and wait for the moment I am needed.”
Then, with a question that she did not want to answer, yet another reason her mind knew but search for, she parted her lips once again, eyes nailed on the ceiling. Dull, without sun or stars or the indication of time. “Then, if you wouldn’t mind, perhaps you can visit me? To share what is happening out there, of course. ”
Spoken like a caged bird without the Siren’s guide.
“Now I know what Ruth wanted, I can give it to her,” Hieronymus agreed, fiddling with his sleeve. It was a distraction, a distraction from Collette breaking the surface of the silver pool that was their closeness to each other. “I will take whatever comes my way. Which, now I know what is happening, should not be impossible to predict. Care. Attention. Attentiveness. All things very unlike me,” he laughed. “I joke, of course. I care immensely. Now…”
He stood up, deciding it was he who would bring a ceasefire to their conversation. He retrieved his mask from the table, doing it up around his eyes with intricate hand movements. When he was done, and after he had smirked down at his article for a moment, he looked to his host again.
“Do not wait for me,” he said. “It is more fun, don’t you agree, if we simply… appear in each other’s presences?”
It was unlikely, from Collette’s point of view. She was Olympia’s voice, but now it appeared that Ruth became the action, and another person became the eyes, and there was the weariness that suddenly worn her that she may have to stay in this skyless room for a long time. But she showed no such weariness, instead she returned a smirk to him.
“I look forward to it, Mr Hartley. “
“Of course you do,” he said, airily, and proceeded to stroll from her office with no more than a flick of his wrist and glance over his shoulder to signify his goodbye.