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  • “Yea I take up four parking spots with my hummer...yea I smoke cigarettes in the car even though I have passengers” — douchebag sonic 2014
    It’s probably not the best metaphor
    But if I could be something,
    it’s a cigarette for sure
    A light in the dark that soothes someone’s fix
    To calm someone’s nerves for a minute or six
    Warnings would be plastered all around
    As no one likes a smokers sound
    To be someone’s addiction is a terrible goal
    But to quit smoking is like cleaning your soul
    Some silly people will think it looks cool
    The important thing is I have to get to the travel channel so I can tell you all the best places to get a steak hoagie.
    Because I’m a commercial, and a hedgehog.
    I'm never gonna get my hoagie- O~O
    Hey this hummer has the fuel efficiency of a leaky lawn mower, I’ll make great time
    I’m trying to make my rp as much like Kayne West as possible, catchy, funny, dead serious and batshit stupid.

    Probably why I’m having trouble with the stat system
    So I held a competition on social media... A fan could win the chance to spend a night with me.

    The winner was a areoblade ceiling fan, needless to say she hung in midair as I turned her on
    If the person cursing me had the stones to step up and hire a actual hitman instead of poking the voodoo doll of me, that’d be swell
    I don’t think anyone will question that I grew up to marry red dead redemption 2.
    It’ll be a happy relationship where it sort of respects me while only sometimes asking for micro transactions.
    Peacemaker .45
    Peacemaker .45
    I’m so pumped for this game. I loved the original and played it YEARS ago when it was released. I’m so ready for RDR2.
    I was already hyped for it but I saw a ad recently and couldn’t help but be excited
    “Do you think I just came out the sliz rapping like wax? Cause I did.” Flowiest~D 2016
    Hair dark and long, a spirit so strong
    Banging my heart like a blood soaked gong
    Everyone would know
    Eyes bright and wide, a face filled with pride
    A rush of thoughts that could make me hide
    But it’s more fulfilling to show
    A smile when you can, a laugh that’s loud
    Feet on the ground with dreams in a cloud
    To Fly straight and true
    through red and the blue
    Prove there’s no problem you can’t chew
    I have a idea for a fantasy quest/adventure rp, the setting and themes and parts of the world all imagined already, mostly suited to group but could work either way. Each time I go to write it down and post it however I feel it needs more or isn’t right.

    Anyone up for collaboration of some kind?
    When I first looked in your eyes
    You were more than just a beauty to me
    All my senses shot straight up
    I was rock hard emotionally
    I've got a heart boner tonight
    Feel my love pants growing tight
    I wanna plug you with respect all through the night
    I'll bust a nut of joy a light
    You are the love that I pursue
    Do you feel the feels I feel for you
    There's so much we have yet to do
    Now jump me like a kangaroo
    Happy birthday to me
    Some one fix my knee
    I look like a monkey
    And my heart is jumpy

    No present for me, no smiles of glee
    A face set like stone
    As I lay alone
    No one is around
    It’s just me at home
    Today I was told by a girl “my face would look pretty if she sat on it”

    I humbly declined as I had no polite way of asking if she was clean
    The Mechanist
    The Mechanist
    I mean don’t you already have a girl anyways?
    “I have a girl” you say? As if I could own another human being? No good sir I do not have a girl.

    I have a massive crush on one sure but I do not own people tinkerer!
    The Mechanist
    The Mechanist
    I yelled out “why me?”
    And a man claiming to be god with a long white beard simply whispered in my ear

    “Why not?”

    I explained how I felt and how I could do without the fuckaround.

    The man said “eh fuck ya” before riding off on a razor scooter.
    I sighed deep before getting in my car and leaving.

    No moral or lesson here, just the option to try and change yourself for the better
    “Uh I think I dreamt it..”
    How was it, amazing?
    You mean uhh-stounding, yea you do
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