Realistic or Modern Slav life RP [For Fun]

[CheekiBreekiComrade]

Hello comrades of RP nation! I decided to create a funny Roleplay revolving around a group of friends who live in Russia. We go drinking, shooting Kalashnikovs, squatting, and other things "average" Russians do.

Yet, there is a twist. As we continue the Roleplay, a sinister plot arises in the motherland! And it's up to the great gopnik heroes to stop it! So, will you be a proud gopnik or a Blyat?

(This isn't serious, just something to contain my boredom.)

<p><a href="<fileStore.core_Attachment>/monthly_2016_08/image.jpeg.fde6fafe2efb772b90a80ebeb753c6fa.jpeg" class="ipsAttachLink ipsAttachLink_image"><img data-fileid="149283" src="<fileStore.core_Attachment>/monthly_2016_08/image.jpeg.fde6fafe2efb772b90a80ebeb753c6fa.jpeg" class="ipsImage ipsImage_thumbnailed" alt=""></a></p>​

 

[amended]

Ah nuuuuuu. This might be pretty gud. I'll be in if this gets attention.

 

[CheekiBreekiComrade]

@Der Eine


Alright, it might be a couple hours before we find atleast 3 people (hopefully..)

 

[KebabQueen]

This sounds like fucking gold, count me in.

 

[CheekiBreekiComrade]

@KebabQueen


Alright, check the OOC for minor details like classes. I am still debating if we are going to use them a lot or not.

 

[KebabQueen]

I've had a look through the CS and the classes, I think they're a good idea. Makes the rp just that little more complex.

 

[CheekiBreekiComrade]

@KebabQueen


Feel free to make a character! The minimium to start is four people, so invite your friends for the one of the most slavic adventure of all time!

 

[CheekiBreekiComrade]

Somewhere In Russia.

​

Alexander's alarm clock began to beep, causing Alexander to groan. He had been out drinking and squatting with his friends all night, and was barely able to get any sleep. He would stand up from his dirty mattress (since he was to broke to buy a bed frame), and dust himself off. His tracksuit had minor vodka stains, but not large enough to notice from afar. He would walk over to his large pile of clothes and grab his favorite trench coat.


He would yawn as he walked to his tiny kitchen, opening his food pantry. The pantry has a single can of pineapples and a small flask, meaning he had ate all his food the night before. He would grab the the can and his flask. Opening the flask, he'd drink the contents - to only find it was empty. He'd stare at the empty flask, and drop to his knees. He would yell, "I RAN OUT OF VOOODDDKKAAA!' he would then curl up into a ball, sobbing. He'd begin to his yell friend's name, knowing his drank the rest of the vodka.
​

 

[amended]

"Put him in the bag, with his stupid freedom flag!" Shasha raps, jutting his hand around in accordance with the rhythm. "Nice one, Bard!" "Yeah, good beat, blyat." Are the responses of the two other Gopniks standing near Sasha. "Shutup!" Sasha says, cupping a hand to his ear and honing in on a familiar sound. "BLYAT!" Sasha yells, taking off down the street, baseball bat gripped in hand. "ALEXXX!" Sasha yells once again before turning a corner and falling out of sight of the to other Gopniks.


The door of Alexander's house flies open and Sasha rushes in. "Alexander!" Sasha exclaims as he sees his friend curled up on the floor. "What is wrong? Are you hurt?" Sasha asks, squatting next to his fellow Gopnik. Sasha's eyes drift over to the flask that lay empty next to Alexander. "Oh my friend! You are just fine!" Sasha says, picking up the flask and turning it over, nothing falling out of it. "Alex, we can just go to corner store!" Sasha says, giving Alexander a sympathetic toothy Slav grin.
​

 

[CheekiBreekiComrade]

Alex would sniffle and say, "I have no rubles to buy vodka for our squat session. And I don't remember drinking the rest of my spare vodka." He would pause, and then smile. He would then say, "Oh, I do have money for vodka! It's in my other track suit. Let me grab it, and then on the way to the corner store, we can do some sick beats for your upcoming rap battle you have in.." He'd look at his watch and say, "Two days." He'd stand up, and head to his pile of other track suits. He'd pick up a jacket, searching the pocket, finding his cash. He'd stand and say to Sasha, "let's head out!' He'd pick up his tiny music player, and place a 80's montage song disc inside. He'd push play, and they would head out to the local corner store.

​

 

[KebabQueen]

Dmitri was all alone in the local corner shop. Just the way he liked it. It meant he could sneak some vodka from the back shelf and nobody would ever know. Unless they looked at the security cameras but he didn't really give a shit. He didn't his job well enough, and the manager was short staffed so there was no way he was getting fired. He out on some generic Russian rap music and started singing along, grabbing a flask of whatever and downing it in 20. He'd nabbed some of Alex's vodka the night before, seeing as he'd ran out of the drink himself. He didn't really give shit if he man knew or not, there was nothing he could do about it.


He heard the sound of shitty rap echo through the streets, which could only mean one thing. Alex and Sasha were on their way. Thank fuck. He thought, getting bored of the emptiness of the store. He grabbed some off-brand Russian chocolate bar, far too sweet and cheap to make it into a proper store, and started to devour it. He only sneered when he saw the two enter. "What you want?" He spat at the two, his voice slurred, still a little drunk. Even if they were friends, not much could knock him out of his drunken grumpiness.

 

[An Unknown Person]

(Heh, hope this is good)


Leon looked around, noticing he was in an alleyway, sleeping with some newspapers as a makeshift bed "Oy blyat! What time is it?" He asked himself as he sat up, noticing the broken vodka bottles around him. "Oy, I don't really remember last night... I guess it's safe to say I partied too hard. Of course I did, Leon, your dumb slav!" Leon said to himself as he stood up, he noticed he was really close to the store where Dmitri worked. "OY BLYAT, I'M ON MY WAY!" He yelled, waking up some homeless people that were sleeping nearby. While he ran off, he almost lost balance twice before leaving the said alleyway, arriving at Dmitri's store a few minutes later. "Oy blyat, what happened last night?" It was the first question he asked, followed by "Why was I asleep in an alleyway?"

 

[CheekiBreekiComrade]

Alexander said to Dimitri, "Why do you ask everytime I come in what I want? Maybe I want to drink vodka with my friends - Sasha, Dimitri, and Leon." He'd stop and look around, and then say, "Speaking of Leon, where is the Blyat?' He'd then look back, to see the door open and Leon rush in.


Listening to Leon's question, he look over to Leon and say, "Comrade, you had squat session that went bad. I think. The Mafia came out of nowhere, and took you away. They probulary stole your vodka and the ruble you had to buy more vodka." He'd would then walk over to the liquor shelf and grab the strongest vodka they had in stock. He would then stuff his hand in his pocket, grabbing his ruble. He would place the bills on the counter, showing Dimitri he was buying this time.
​

 

[amended]

Sasha's toothy grin is still evident on his face as him and Alex start their journey to the store. "Kekeke" Sasha laughs under his breath. "Wake up, you sit up, you shut up, BLYAT! Make sure on the way out, you shut your mouth, BLYAT!" Sasha raps to the poorly-made Korg synthesizer beats. "I'm a Gopnik, from the streets, if you don't mind, get out you BLYAT" The Gopnik says, gesturing his bat to a nearby Ruskie citizen who flashes him a concerned look as they pass. Sash laughs before clearing his throat, "You aren't real if you're not on the mic, why don't you just not talk tonight?! Cause when I speak then you shut up, otherwise get the fuck out! BLYAT!" Sasha finishes with a yell and a loud laugh, putting an arm around Alex's neck.


As Sasha walks into the store with Alexander and is spat at in such vigorous manner, he coughs at Dmitri in reply. "Blyat! We are here for vodka, you cyka!!!" Sasha says, toothy grin still sat upon his face. "Where is the sunflower seeds, cyka?!" Sasha asks, rummaging through the shelves near the cash register where they should be. "BLYAT BLYAT BLYAT! WHERE ARE THEY?!" Sasha exclaims, now clawing through the shelves in desperation and completely ignoring Leon.
​

 

[KebabQueen]

Dmitri only raised an eyebrow at the three of them. He wasnt really listening, he was too drunk. He staggered back a bit, grabbing some vodka and throwing the flask at each of them, not caring if they caught or not. "You're lucky you cykas have me working here. Wherelse would you get your vodka for free? Drink up fuckers" he said, biting another chocolate bar, chomping down half if it in one bit. The fuck? Why were they so small these days? Fuck that shit. He dropped the bar, rummaging in the cabinets behind him to find himself some vodka. He aslways saved himself the best flasks, giving his friends the cheaper, less strong brands.


He drank quickly, savouring the drink better this time. He turned his attention to Sasha "Oy!? The fuck is wrong with you?!" He shouted at him, leaving the stand to fetch some seeds for the guy. "Here are seeds. Now shut the fak up" he ordered. "You'll wake up boss!" He whispered, motioning to the fat sleeping man in the other room. "Fat cyka always sleeps" he grumbled, rummaging again through the shelves to find himself a dirty mag, which his slipped into his bag. He gulped down the rest of the vodka, dropping the bottle to the floor.

 

[An Unknown Person]

"Oy blyat, all my ruble?" Leon pats his pockets, finding nothing more than his trusty flip knife and the cap of a vodka bottle. "Suka blyat! now I have to sleep with the Amerikan female (Hillary Clinton, xaxaxaxaxa) on an article staring at me!" He said while trying to keep a normal tone and not sound or look drunk, but clearly failed at doing so. "Dmitri, comrade, how to still work here? Not to offend you comrade or anything... but still... just asking..." He asked as he turned around to look at him (Dmitri) "And why is Sasha going psycho over something?" He whispered to Dmitri so Sasha could not hear him. "I mean... isn't it sunflower seeds? I know he loves it." Leon then looked at Sasha. "Oy Sasha! I heard there were some sunflower seeds down the street!"


(Good night)

 

[CheekiBreekiComrade]

He'd open his vodka bottle, and beginning chugging. Halfway through the bottle, he'd stop and say, "I guess Sasha is gonna turn into a seed at this rate." He'd would then say a random topic, "Man, who even visited Moscow here? Because, I fucking haven't." He'd stop for a second to drink more, and then resume, "I fee-l like going their one day. In my car or train.. I dunno.. Somehow!"


He'd smile look at his gopnik friends and say, "We should go to Moscow and go to some parties! Or do other things we usually do!" He would take the ruble back, and say, "Well, who's with me!?"


Right as Alexander finishes his sentence, a man in a mask, bust through the door with a Colt .45 pistol. He would point the pistol at Dimitri, telling him to fork over the cash.
​

 

[amended]

Sasha hunches his shoulders after the flask bounces off the back of his head, "GAHHH CYKA" The Gop yells, still scavenging the shelves. However, Sasha stops when a plastic bag hits the back of his head and slinks off the back of his head, tilting his flat-cap farther forward on his head. "Ahhh nuuuu, thanks cyka." Sasha says, giving Dmitri that typical Gop smile. As the Slav opens the pack of seeds and begins to toss a couple in his mouth, a man with an Americanski pistol walks in and points it in Dmitri's face.




[media]
​

[/media]



"CYKKKAAAAAA" Sasha shouts, sunflower seeds falling out of his mouth as he rushes towards the front of the store. The robber barely has time to turn his head before a baseball bat suddenly downs him, sending the pistol sliding. "IDI NAHUI!!" Sasha shouts, kicking the man several times in the face. "COME HERE AND BEAT HIM!" Sasha shouts, jabbing the bat into the man's gut.

 

[KebabQueen]

Dmitri shrugged at Leon's questions. "I work here for money and free booze. Simple" he told him, still looking through the shelves. "Yes, it sunflower seeds. He love them. I don't see the appeal, but he does" he smiled. He was just about to turn back and agree to go to Moscow with Alex, when some stupid cyka came in pointing a gun at his head.


Dmitri laughed at the man pointing the gun. He rolled his eyes, slowly walking back to the till to give the man some money. "Haha. Silly man. This shop is broke!" He chimed. Punching open the till and throwing a mere hundred Rubles at the desperate man. That was all that was in the till unfortunately, Dmitri was going to use take he money himself, but not he couldn't. "Okay now fak off" he said to the man as he walked away. Dmitri wiped some sweat off his head. "Stupid blyat, always robbing store. Why they always choose this one? This one shit" he said, addressing the lot of them

 

[CheekiBreekiComrade]

Alexander Petrenko / True Gopnik


He'd jump at the sound of the robber demanding cash. But, watching Sasha striking beat him with a baseball bat, he'd hear Sasha's command, coming in and kicking the robber in the stomach. He would continuely kick the robber until he was a mere pulp. He'd turned around to pick the almost stolen ruble and walk it over to Dimitri. "Here's the stolen cash, man." He'd say.
​

 

[opyim]

this is cancer

 

[YourRandomBritishMan]

Opaaaaa! This sounds so fucking amazing. We have many squatting gopniks where I live XD

 

[amended]

Holy shit this site still has this? It's been years!