Kyero
Three Thousand Club
No. Not for this introduction. We won't get any power bonuses until after this mission to start things off.Natevess said:
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Fandom Odyssey of Power
- Thread starter Kyero
- Start date
Dennis Reynolds
D E T E R M I N A T I O N
tehehe :]Kyero said:
Natevess
Senior Member
This still alive?
Kyero
Three Thousand Club
Yes, it's still alive. We're just waiting on everyone's schedules to clear up so they can post.Natevess said:
Hey @KingHink, @Sophileon, and @Dennis Reynolds, it looks like the notifications are getting worse. Or so I've been told. Do what you can and post at your earliest convenience okay.
D. Rex
Magic Eight Ball
Will do.
Well ... I would. My post last post was responding to Era. So I would be waiting on you, unless you want me to set a scene of where they land and meet up with the raid officer kind of thing.
Well ... I would. My post last post was responding to Era. So I would be waiting on you, unless you want me to set a scene of where they land and meet up with the raid officer kind of thing.
Kyero
Three Thousand Club
Ah, alright. I'll go ahead and post later when I get back from school this evening with Era arriving at the Docking Bay so everyone can see what it's all about and follow suit.KingHink said:
Sophileon
Silence eludes me.
I keep hoping to make a post, but everything seems to have come crashing down on me right now.
I just found out my grandmother has lung cancer and it's looking really bad for her, but, hopefully, I can get a post up either today or tomorrow.
I just found out my grandmother has lung cancer and it's looking really bad for her, but, hopefully, I can get a post up either today or tomorrow.
D. Rex
Magic Eight Ball
Gotcha, boss.Kyero said:
Oh crap, I'm sorry to hear that bro. I'll keep her in my prayers.Sophileon said:
Dennis Reynolds
D E T E R M I N A T I O N
Big research paper due this week so i'm sorry if i havent been active. Just a few more days and I'll finally be done. But I'll try and work on a post soon.
Natevess
Senior Member
Pardon my poor reading comprehension, but is Era at/near the site of the raid, or is she at her own launch bay, wherever her and Faeora were? If it is the latter, do we just post us arriving at the site of the raid, since some of us (read: me) already left for it?
Kyero
Three Thousand Club
The Launch Bay is enormous, and she landed near her own ship where her Raid Commander was waiting for her. Fae is with her.Natevess said:
Your Raid Commander will be waiting not far from your ship to basically give you the same talking to about the enemy's power levels and how dangerous it will be for a lower class warrior to take to the field alongside the Elites (Saiyans with powers of around 1,500+) against these enemies.
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Natevess
Senior Member
Will we be receiving the same talk AT the raid, since my character is already on his way? I just don't think I'll find a decent way to put that conversation in.
Kyero
Three Thousand Club
The warning of how powerful the enemies are should have already happened if he's on his way, though since I didn't give a name to the planet until my recent post you might want to add those details in wherever you can. Perhaps after he's in his ship and on his way he gets a mini briefing of what awaits and what planet to set his sights on.Natevess said:
Trignome
A Candle
I apologize for the sudden absence so soon into the RP, but I'll get the introductory post in by tonight.
Introductory post, up! *cheers*
Introductory post, up! *cheers*
D. Rex
Magic Eight Ball
Would Era and Fae have taken the same ship?
Kyero
Three Thousand Club
No. Every Saiyan has their own ship.KingHink said:
Hey all, tell me what you think! I'm open to constructive criticism, as I'm only just getting the hang of composition with orchestra. But I wrote some music for the Super Saiyan transformation as I was envisioning it in my head for this RP. It's not great, but it's a work in progress.
The Bass Drum is meant to symbolize the Saiyan's heart beat, hence the repetition. So if it's driving you mad, that'd be why.
Super Saiyan Transformation
Let me know what you guys think okay!
Trignome
A Candle
At first, I was really confused about how mellow the music was at the very beginning, until I read your explanation, which cleared things up a lot.
In terms of pacing, I liked how the effect of an unstoppable surge of power built from the tension and gradual crescendo from the violins. But a little thing I noticed about the bass drum is that the two beats that represent the pulse of the heart are too even. An actual heart beat has a quicker, rapid pulse, followed by a longer pulse. Even though the tempo increased as the volume did, some of the momentum was lost because of the eveness of that rhythm. That was what I noticed when I listened to the clip for the first time.
But it's a very good composition, so I'm going to replay it a few times. (Which means I'll probably add more to this critique. Excuse all the rambling, Kyero.)
I don't know how you want to balance the very beginning, in the first 10 seconds where the harp has those two, mini glissando thingamajiggers over the violin section's G. After the first harp gliss, the volume of the violins' note does not change, until the sudden transition at the 0:11 mark. The volume that it stayed at was just loud enough that it drew attention away from the harp's two interludes. If you do plan on bringing out the harp's part more, then you could either do two crescendo-decrescendos with the violins that line up with the harp. Like with the crescendo of violins right before the first bit of harp, you could decrescendo and then modestly crescendo again into the 2nd harp bit. It'd bring more attention to the harp, while also giving shape to the violins' sustained note. Or, if you wanted the the G note to stay linear, then you could just decrease the volume of the violin section for that entire section of music.
...And, erm...if I just completely misinterpreted that section, then I apologize profusely.
At about 1:36, , in order not to lose the movement built up by the earlier violin and brass exchange (of which I cannot determine the exact instrument. Trombone, maybe? Or some sort of horn?) you might want to have the bass drum start softer and crescendo out of the aftermath of the cymbals' crash. That way, the momentum is carried into the following bursts of sound from the chorus. Also, I know this may sound kind of weird, but to make the end of the consecutive phrases (running violin notes, followed by blare of brass) build-up of volume seem louder, it's actually more effective to start at a softer volume than to continuously increase the volume. Because it's easier for general audiences to hear the difference between soft and loud, than the difference between loud and louder.
Just a suggestion. If you ever seek to add a more cacophonous effect to the music, in order to emphasize the chaos of emotions and conflicting energy surges the Saiyan is experiencing in its transformation, you could make the bit of piano (Starts around 1:14) alternating chords, instead of single alternating notes. Or, you could have the piano do a chromatic or harmonic scale, which would make it easier for the piano to crescendo. Right now, the alternating notes just seem too flat. The phrasing for the piano doesn't have to be overly dramatic, like with the following violin/brass shenanigans, but it'd be nice to have more movement from its part.
Another possibility that creates a distorting effect could be the addition of a hemiola, in one of the instrumental sections, while the other plays in normal rhythm. There is also the possibility that while the bass drum does the loud heartbeat rhythm (1:05 to about 1:15) the cellos could start in sync with the first heartbeat, but gradually fall into an alternating, almost echo effect for the bass drum. This can give the illusion of the tempo spiraling faster and out of control. And finally, chaos likes layered sections, so besides your call and response between th two sections, you can phrase them so that the parts bleed into each other. For example, those parts in orchestral pieces where an instrument starts a phrase before a different instrument finishes theirs. So there is a dissonance between the uneven layering, even if the actual tune the two instruments are playing is the same. It's the effect you get when the sections of a canon do not space out evenly. Except it sounds better than that, because the initial instrument finishes its phrase before the dissonance with the 2nd instrument becomes too unbearable.
The chorus ends rather abruptly at the 2 minute mark. Again, I'm not sure if that's the effect that you were going for, but it seems pretty intentional, so kudos to you because it adds a nice touch of suspense before the bass drum picks up the beat again.
Speaking of the bass drum at that point, the beating starts pretty loud, and stays at that exact tone and volume all the way until the violins come in again. If you want a lead-in to the reappearance of the strings section, you could start out with a soft, then medium, then loud ba-dum. Another idea you could consider is the possibility of a very, very, very faint bass drum roll (think 'distant thunder') that rolls into the first ba-dum. It'd be a pretty brief drum roll, considering that the bass drum only plays solo for about 3 seconds. So, possibly, the roll could start at the pinnacle of the last chorus and slightly crescendo for a moment before the heartbeat starts again.
And I'm not sure if it was intentional, but the 2nd wave of voices (starting at about 1:46) didn't have a clashing effect, though the 1st and subsequent waves did.
...Yup. I'm going to stop here, before I get too carried away. (._.)
In terms of pacing, I liked how the effect of an unstoppable surge of power built from the tension and gradual crescendo from the violins. But a little thing I noticed about the bass drum is that the two beats that represent the pulse of the heart are too even. An actual heart beat has a quicker, rapid pulse, followed by a longer pulse. Even though the tempo increased as the volume did, some of the momentum was lost because of the eveness of that rhythm. That was what I noticed when I listened to the clip for the first time.
But it's a very good composition, so I'm going to replay it a few times. (Which means I'll probably add more to this critique. Excuse all the rambling, Kyero.)
I don't know how you want to balance the very beginning, in the first 10 seconds where the harp has those two, mini glissando thingamajiggers over the violin section's G. After the first harp gliss, the volume of the violins' note does not change, until the sudden transition at the 0:11 mark. The volume that it stayed at was just loud enough that it drew attention away from the harp's two interludes. If you do plan on bringing out the harp's part more, then you could either do two crescendo-decrescendos with the violins that line up with the harp. Like with the crescendo of violins right before the first bit of harp, you could decrescendo and then modestly crescendo again into the 2nd harp bit. It'd bring more attention to the harp, while also giving shape to the violins' sustained note. Or, if you wanted the the G note to stay linear, then you could just decrease the volume of the violin section for that entire section of music.
...And, erm...if I just completely misinterpreted that section, then I apologize profusely.
At about 1:36, , in order not to lose the movement built up by the earlier violin and brass exchange (of which I cannot determine the exact instrument. Trombone, maybe? Or some sort of horn?) you might want to have the bass drum start softer and crescendo out of the aftermath of the cymbals' crash. That way, the momentum is carried into the following bursts of sound from the chorus. Also, I know this may sound kind of weird, but to make the end of the consecutive phrases (running violin notes, followed by blare of brass) build-up of volume seem louder, it's actually more effective to start at a softer volume than to continuously increase the volume. Because it's easier for general audiences to hear the difference between soft and loud, than the difference between loud and louder.
Just a suggestion. If you ever seek to add a more cacophonous effect to the music, in order to emphasize the chaos of emotions and conflicting energy surges the Saiyan is experiencing in its transformation, you could make the bit of piano (Starts around 1:14) alternating chords, instead of single alternating notes. Or, you could have the piano do a chromatic or harmonic scale, which would make it easier for the piano to crescendo. Right now, the alternating notes just seem too flat. The phrasing for the piano doesn't have to be overly dramatic, like with the following violin/brass shenanigans, but it'd be nice to have more movement from its part.
Another possibility that creates a distorting effect could be the addition of a hemiola, in one of the instrumental sections, while the other plays in normal rhythm. There is also the possibility that while the bass drum does the loud heartbeat rhythm (1:05 to about 1:15) the cellos could start in sync with the first heartbeat, but gradually fall into an alternating, almost echo effect for the bass drum. This can give the illusion of the tempo spiraling faster and out of control. And finally, chaos likes layered sections, so besides your call and response between th two sections, you can phrase them so that the parts bleed into each other. For example, those parts in orchestral pieces where an instrument starts a phrase before a different instrument finishes theirs. So there is a dissonance between the uneven layering, even if the actual tune the two instruments are playing is the same. It's the effect you get when the sections of a canon do not space out evenly. Except it sounds better than that, because the initial instrument finishes its phrase before the dissonance with the 2nd instrument becomes too unbearable.
The chorus ends rather abruptly at the 2 minute mark. Again, I'm not sure if that's the effect that you were going for, but it seems pretty intentional, so kudos to you because it adds a nice touch of suspense before the bass drum picks up the beat again.
Speaking of the bass drum at that point, the beating starts pretty loud, and stays at that exact tone and volume all the way until the violins come in again. If you want a lead-in to the reappearance of the strings section, you could start out with a soft, then medium, then loud ba-dum. Another idea you could consider is the possibility of a very, very, very faint bass drum roll (think 'distant thunder') that rolls into the first ba-dum. It'd be a pretty brief drum roll, considering that the bass drum only plays solo for about 3 seconds. So, possibly, the roll could start at the pinnacle of the last chorus and slightly crescendo for a moment before the heartbeat starts again.
And I'm not sure if it was intentional, but the 2nd wave of voices (starting at about 1:46) didn't have a clashing effect, though the 1st and subsequent waves did.
...Yup. I'm going to stop here, before I get too carried away. (._.)
D. Rex
Magic Eight Ball
First off, I like it. A good piece and I enjoyed listening to it. Several times lol. All the following applies to the context of the song in relation to the super saiyan transformation.
Musical components are not my forte. Perception and emotions, are more my niche. So it will be only there I can offer constructive criticism.
The wierd thing about perception is that how you perceive it will not always coincide with how your intended audience might. I may be one of those cases. Much of this hinges on different potential interpretations of the Super Saiyan.
Emotions - These are not so much of criticisms as perceptions. Particularly listening to it as if imagining from the perspective of the SS. They are also inherrently flawed due to my personal tastes in music as well as my interpretation of the SS and how both matters may differ from yours.
Though I can detect the sadness in the beginning, somethings feels hollow about it. It doesn't feel like heartbreaking affair has occured. Like reminiscing of a pain had happened long ago rather than the mourning of recent trauma and its contrast to the good. It felt sad, rather than devastated. The I could feel longing, I could not feel the great pain. The good being hard to detect for me at first, but I could hear it as I listened again, shadowed by the sadness as it should be. The few instances of dissonance did well in adding to the feeling of sadness and trying to keep control.
The rage and pain in the next section, I find hard to interpret the power and trauma in it. Swirling, perhaps, but not the out of control that one might expect a SS to be going through at the time. As if it felt under control to some degree. I could feel myself being built up during several parts, yet the explosion part didn't seem to captivate the feeling of climax and felt more like part of the buildup. The calm down felt more like an end than you might have intended. As if the power is going away rather than gaining some semblance of control(which I didn't know they calmed down during SS).
Now, the feelings of this musical piece, to me, makes me feel more like an onlooker watching. Watching the saiyan become an SS, in perhaps disbelief and perhaps a hint of dreamlike serenity of watching a legend come to life.
With that out of the way. I did like it a lot.
Annnd.... Sorry I haven't posted yet. It has been a busy and tiring week. I hope to put something up in the next day or two if I can pull it off.
A rather weak post from me tonight, I am afraid. But I wanted to at least put Fae on the scene and post -something- as I had the chance.
Musical components are not my forte. Perception and emotions, are more my niche. So it will be only there I can offer constructive criticism.
The wierd thing about perception is that how you perceive it will not always coincide with how your intended audience might. I may be one of those cases. Much of this hinges on different potential interpretations of the Super Saiyan.
Emotions - These are not so much of criticisms as perceptions. Particularly listening to it as if imagining from the perspective of the SS. They are also inherrently flawed due to my personal tastes in music as well as my interpretation of the SS and how both matters may differ from yours.
Though I can detect the sadness in the beginning, somethings feels hollow about it. It doesn't feel like heartbreaking affair has occured. Like reminiscing of a pain had happened long ago rather than the mourning of recent trauma and its contrast to the good. It felt sad, rather than devastated. The I could feel longing, I could not feel the great pain. The good being hard to detect for me at first, but I could hear it as I listened again, shadowed by the sadness as it should be. The few instances of dissonance did well in adding to the feeling of sadness and trying to keep control.
The rage and pain in the next section, I find hard to interpret the power and trauma in it. Swirling, perhaps, but not the out of control that one might expect a SS to be going through at the time. As if it felt under control to some degree. I could feel myself being built up during several parts, yet the explosion part didn't seem to captivate the feeling of climax and felt more like part of the buildup. The calm down felt more like an end than you might have intended. As if the power is going away rather than gaining some semblance of control(which I didn't know they calmed down during SS).
Now, the feelings of this musical piece, to me, makes me feel more like an onlooker watching. Watching the saiyan become an SS, in perhaps disbelief and perhaps a hint of dreamlike serenity of watching a legend come to life.
With that out of the way. I did like it a lot.
Annnd.... Sorry I haven't posted yet. It has been a busy and tiring week. I hope to put something up in the next day or two if I can pull it off.
A rather weak post from me tonight, I am afraid. But I wanted to at least put Fae on the scene and post -something- as I had the chance.
Kyero
Three Thousand Club
@Trignome, @KingHink, thank you guys so much for the thoughts, especially you Trig. Damn!
That all in mind, I'll definitely be working on making it more dramatic and add more dynamics in as well. It was not my intention to keep things sounding controlled, but it's a rough mix and I haven't added in many dynamics at all because I first want to get the notes down. Know what I mean? Write the piece, then figure out where the dynamics want to lead me as I listen back and keep writing.
I'll definitely be keeping what you guys said in mind, so thank you guys once again so much for the help!
That all in mind, I'll definitely be working on making it more dramatic and add more dynamics in as well. It was not my intention to keep things sounding controlled, but it's a rough mix and I haven't added in many dynamics at all because I first want to get the notes down. Know what I mean? Write the piece, then figure out where the dynamics want to lead me as I listen back and keep writing.
I'll definitely be keeping what you guys said in mind, so thank you guys once again so much for the help!
Sophileon
Silence eludes me.
I am a huge and avid listener of varying genres of music, but I am definitely not well versed in musical terminology. So, therefore, my critique of the SS transformation piece is purely my own subjective understanding of it.
First of all, I'm going to start with the positives. I enjoyed the general sound of all the different instruments you used, so good job there. There weren't any instruments used that didn't sound like they belonged in the piece. The second is I liked the symbolism of the drums being the heartbeat of the Saiyan. ( I just wish they were a little more prevalent and faster at the time of the actual transformation )
Now, the bad parts. The beginning didn't have a proper feeling of a build-up for me. It sounded highly melancholic, and peaceful. The part where the drums start is where I really start to enjoy the music. If there was a more emotional tie-in with the intro, this part would have a higher level of emotional impact on me. As of right now, it loses much of it's intended effect and sounds more dissonant than anything.
The last negative is something which Hink touched on: The last part seems to taper off giving me the feeling of resolution. I'm not too sure if that was what you had intended or not, but it made me feel like the Saiyan had already fulfilled their desires and found that calm place again signifying their transformation back to being normal.
Also, you don't look anything like I had you pictured, Kyero lol.
First of all, I'm going to start with the positives. I enjoyed the general sound of all the different instruments you used, so good job there. There weren't any instruments used that didn't sound like they belonged in the piece. The second is I liked the symbolism of the drums being the heartbeat of the Saiyan. ( I just wish they were a little more prevalent and faster at the time of the actual transformation )
Now, the bad parts. The beginning didn't have a proper feeling of a build-up for me. It sounded highly melancholic, and peaceful. The part where the drums start is where I really start to enjoy the music. If there was a more emotional tie-in with the intro, this part would have a higher level of emotional impact on me. As of right now, it loses much of it's intended effect and sounds more dissonant than anything.
The last negative is something which Hink touched on: The last part seems to taper off giving me the feeling of resolution. I'm not too sure if that was what you had intended or not, but it made me feel like the Saiyan had already fulfilled their desires and found that calm place again signifying their transformation back to being normal.
Also, you don't look anything like I had you pictured, Kyero lol.
Kyero
Three Thousand Club
@Sophileon, that's me 8 years ago when I was 17 years old. It was right before I started senior year of high school. Lol!
Sophileon
Silence eludes me.
That makes a lot more sense to me now! lol
Also, would I be allowed to make an allusion or a reference to a deity? Or a Saiyan after-life? Just curious because it's something that would give Tiw more depth as a character.
Also, would I be allowed to make an allusion or a reference to a deity? Or a Saiyan after-life? Just curious because it's something that would give Tiw more depth as a character.
Kyero
Three Thousand Club
By all means, reference an afterlife.Sophileon said:
Sophileon
Silence eludes me.
Good deal! I shall do so. Am I free to take liberties as I see fit? Or will you put any restraint upon certain ideas? I'm not going to make it a huge deal in-character, but I enjoy having my ideas fleshed out before I put them into effect. That makes for less confusion over time.
Kyero
Three Thousand Club
I shall leave it up to your discretion. I take no serious issues with character's personal views on the afterlife. The Saiyans generally don't dwell on the past, but when they do it can be deep seated so do what you will and if I think it goes too far I'll say something.Sophileon said:
