PoisonousKandy
Six Thousand Club
I'm scared. Yeah.... I feel like I can just relax here and say what's on my mind. I'd like to start by listing my flaws. If you don't mind. I'm not doing this for attention but, rather, guidance and some sort of help? Not help from a doctor.... I'm afraid of that too. Something to make me feel better? I would like that.... a lot.
Flaws:
• I'm scared- as in I'm afraid to live. My whole life I've had anxiety without knowing it. It's driven me into a state of ultimate fear something I can't escape. Social anxiety apparently which really sucks because every time I try to speak my mind I find some way to avoid it. It leads to my second flaw. I can't talk to a store clerk without getting a sick and annoying panic attack.
•I'm a procrastinator- this is seen a lot but, not in the way it is with me. I put off thinking about the idea of something. For example: I live day by day thinking about only what to do in the next hour. "what should I do tomorrow? What will happen tom-" And I stop myself there. It kinda worries me that I have no experience to move on to the next day. My mind is always working so if I think too far I get nervous.
•I didn't get a teenage experience- Like hanging out, talking to boys, making long lasting friends. My socially awkward inability to look at another human being for longer ten seconds makes people.... worry for me? I have trust issues and I guess people can tell I can't trust them. My parents weren't okay with me leaving the house until a few months ago and now they're realizing that might have been a mistake. I wish I would've experience some kind of human contact. I don't like hugs. They make me think and as I've made apparent thinking is dangerous.
•I can't speak without being afraid to hurt someone- As to say I've made a small list of people's pet peeves and have learned to stray away from them. To hurt someone is to hurt myself. If you don't like the way people sit I will make note of it without you knowing and even if it hurts I wont do it.
•I try hard- I try hard to do things but, I've never perfected them and I've come to he conclusion that.... might not be the best thing. I love to draw so I do it all the time. Somehow in my heart I kind of want to quit. But then again I really don't.
•I can't spell- I wet through my rebellious age in a classroom. I literally refused to learn anything because I ad no friends to partner up with me in a project. My teacher ruthlessly said to work by myself. I regret not being able to just get past that and learn. Somehow I went onto the next grade.
Maybe this can be a character for you! But do you have any of these flaws? I know people hate seeing these pitiful things but I try not to be stupid. Thanks for reading this far. You have my.... council if you need it.... maybe my mind wont be as Poisonous to you as it is for me....
Flaws:
• I'm scared- as in I'm afraid to live. My whole life I've had anxiety without knowing it. It's driven me into a state of ultimate fear something I can't escape. Social anxiety apparently which really sucks because every time I try to speak my mind I find some way to avoid it. It leads to my second flaw. I can't talk to a store clerk without getting a sick and annoying panic attack.
•I'm a procrastinator- this is seen a lot but, not in the way it is with me. I put off thinking about the idea of something. For example: I live day by day thinking about only what to do in the next hour. "what should I do tomorrow? What will happen tom-" And I stop myself there. It kinda worries me that I have no experience to move on to the next day. My mind is always working so if I think too far I get nervous.
•I didn't get a teenage experience- Like hanging out, talking to boys, making long lasting friends. My socially awkward inability to look at another human being for longer ten seconds makes people.... worry for me? I have trust issues and I guess people can tell I can't trust them. My parents weren't okay with me leaving the house until a few months ago and now they're realizing that might have been a mistake. I wish I would've experience some kind of human contact. I don't like hugs. They make me think and as I've made apparent thinking is dangerous.
•I can't speak without being afraid to hurt someone- As to say I've made a small list of people's pet peeves and have learned to stray away from them. To hurt someone is to hurt myself. If you don't like the way people sit I will make note of it without you knowing and even if it hurts I wont do it.
•I try hard- I try hard to do things but, I've never perfected them and I've come to he conclusion that.... might not be the best thing. I love to draw so I do it all the time. Somehow in my heart I kind of want to quit. But then again I really don't.
•I can't spell- I wet through my rebellious age in a classroom. I literally refused to learn anything because I ad no friends to partner up with me in a project. My teacher ruthlessly said to work by myself. I regret not being able to just get past that and learn. Somehow I went onto the next grade.
Maybe this can be a character for you! But do you have any of these flaws? I know people hate seeing these pitiful things but I try not to be stupid. Thanks for reading this far. You have my.... council if you need it.... maybe my mind wont be as Poisonous to you as it is for me....
