Give me your opinion on my OC and his story

[AceAlmansoori]

His name is Ace, a 23 year old unlucky human being. He holds one of the rare gold artifacts that gives him power but at the same time misfortune. Ace lives in a world where monsters swarm the land and humans are 2/10 of the earths population. These artifacts are given to soldiers to protect the city and faction they belong to, these artifacts emit energy that is desirable by these monsters.


The artifacts range from the best Gold, Silver, and Wood. These are the only one discovered, yet and their numbers are still not known or where they're originated from. The moment an artifact is attached it cannot be removed, unless being killed for it. Ace artifact has been forced on to him when he was 10 years old, and since he's been in an immense danger. He covers the artifact with a red cloth so it wont be seen, and he rarely uses it. His artifact "Frio", which means cold in Spanish. The artifact he uses gives him the ability to manipulate ice, turns it to any form and the distance varies as he grows.


I would like for your opinion on my character who I recently improved, and the story if you like it. The art is made by me.

 

[Catnip]

• I like the idea about the artifact, but I noticed that you mentioned Ace holds a "gold" artifact; but the picture looks more like a silver artifact.
  
• The artifact is named Frio, which means cold in Spanish, so is it an ice artifact?
  
• Does the artifact form a shield and sword?
  
• You should clarify that once you get an artifact it stays with you until you die.
  

Other then those questions/comments, I think Ace is good! His photo reference makes him look like a cutie.

 

[AceAlmansoori]

• I like the idea about the artifact, but I noticed that you mentioned Ace holds a "gold" artifact; but the picture looks more like a silver artifact.
  
• The artifact is named Frio, which means cold in Spanish, so is it an ice artifact?
  
• Does the artifact form a shield and sword?
  
• You should clarify that once you get an artifact it stays with you until you die.
  

Other then those questions/comments, I think Ace is good! His photo reference makes him look like a cutie.

Thank you Valium, does it look silver? It's the dark green jewel with gold borders, i might have toned it down to make it more realistic because of the night time. As for the Ice artifact, I'm still in the middle of character creation. Hopefully it would stay Ice haha, but the main idea is to be an ice artifact yes. You make a really awesome point, i should add it in, and yes it could not just form a sword and a shield but also create ice out of nothing and the distance in which it gets created improves as the holder does. I'll clarify it right now, youre stuck with the artifact as soon as it attached.


Thank you Valium, I appreciate your valid point.

 

[Cavil]

I have a question: why Spanish? What's the significance of Spanish? Is he part Spanish? Why not something in French or German?

 

[AceAlmansoori]

I have a question: why Spanish? What's the significance of Spanish? Is he part Spanish? Why not something in French or German?

That's a good question, might be because I'm lately surrounded by Spanish friend or me liking the word "Frio", but all in all I've already pictured the city and faction to be spanish/middle eastern crossover. Especially the cities, I love the Spanish architicture of the houses and seeing it blends in with the middle east environment gives me a whole lot of ideas. Picture grassy dunes the stretch endlessly. Thank you so much for commenting means the world to me

 

[Cavil]

'Hielo' is 'ice' in Spanish. Might be a better fit.