{{eyes bright, uptight}}

[arctic]

Cole
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-sarcastic bean
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-useless banter
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-he'll fight you but then make up with lasagna
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-talks non-stop
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-wants to cook and travel and take pictures
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-aesthetic rich boi
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-think he's famoose 
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-"could you put ketchup on my hands my last blood post got 23 notes"
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-more tumblr than you
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-he'll make you food and make you cri
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 -we don't talk about his eyebrows
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-boy band groupie
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-touch his hair and it will be the last thing you do
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-love/hate relationship w/ humanity
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-don't insult his cooking or his friends
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-"i can call her a goose, you can't"
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-sucker for 'em bad bitches
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-plz hurt him
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[arctic]

N I C H O L A S ° P A R K E R
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To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.
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NAME// Nicholas Parker

/monthly_2017_01/tumblr_n845egkAzQ1txnk0vo1_250.jpg.1180b84fd8ee8b2b9e5e6c1ea66d6620.jpg/monthly_2017_01/download.jpg.016bd86c8afce563ed4ae8244cb0d2f8.jpg


NICKNAME // Cole


AGE // 20


BIRTHDAY // April 18th


ZODIAC // Aries


GENDER // Cis Male


ORIENTATION // Bisexual 


ORIGIN // France


EDUCATION // Torrance High School


CURRENT JOB // Model

 
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HEIGHT // 5'11" 
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WEIGHT // 145 lbs
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EYES // Blue
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HAIR // Dirty blonde
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BIRTHMARKS // None
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TATTOOS // None
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BODY MODS // Pierced right ear
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OTHER // Freckles
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DOMINANT HAND // Right
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VICES // Extremely self-critical, perfectionist, proud, apprehensive, ascetical, detached, flagellant


VIRTUES// Confident,  adventurous, honest,  welcoming, trustworthy, forgiving to others, free spirited


LIKES // Coffee, photo shoots, big cities, alternative and rock music, coffee, modelling, drumming, sarcasm, "do it for the aesthetic", hair styling, more coffee


DISLIKES// Dishonesty, fakeness, conservatives, social media challenges, lattes, his eyebrows, shallow people

 
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INNER PERSONALITY //
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On the inside, Cole is an ascetical, flagellant person. He has the tendency to blame all misfortune on himself and punishes himself badly if even the most mediocre thing goes wrong or even if he makes even the slightest mistake. He's a perfectionist when it comes to his own looks, body and work. He holds a sensible viewpoint when critiquing others but spares no mercy when it comes to critiquing himself. He has extremely high expectations of himself and can become very sad when he doesn't live up to them. He sets the bar way too high for his own /monthly_2017_01/tumblr_n9f4okrXpJ1saw6pto1_1280.jpg.b2f9764dd94185a35a1a091d8879a810.jpggood and often causes harm to himself as he tries to reach his goals. He obsesses over what people think of him and therefore allows no negativity or sad emotions to reach his friends and family. Instead, he bottles up all the negativity inside him. This often leads to feelings of loneliness, but he's become extremely careful about hiding his weaknesses. From the outside, it may appear he's happy, confident and carefree all the time, but that if far from true. People only see what he wants them to see, but when alone with his thoughts, he's a completely different person: a person shrouded by their self-criticism.

OUTER PERSONALITY //
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Around others, Winston is carefree, happy and adventurous. He's always ready to go on late-night adventures and try new things. He doesn't mind a change in plans and has a very flexible personality. He's energetic, confident and fun to be around. He isn't embarrassed easily and is always up for an ugly selfie. He makes people believe that he loves them, which is often why they open up to him so quickly. He's generous and always ready to lend a helping hand. He'll reply honestly and openly if you ask him something and this quality either makes people fall for him or drives them crazy. Everybody thinks they've made it to his well-liked book. He's a natural leader and overall good at convincing people to do things. Most of all, he's warm, welcoming and easy to have a conversation with: whether it's extremely dirty, extremely sarcastic, extremely deep or just plain silly.

 
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HISTORY //
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Cole's family was a well-to-do one. They lived in a big house in the 90210, thanks to his French mother's interest in neurosurgery and his father's booming startup. They weren't the richest of the block, but needless to say, the family had the opportunity to stay on top of the trends, no matter how expensive they got. Family vacations were more a matter of "But we've already been to Greece twice!" rather than finding the cheapest airline tickets. However, it is important to note that the Parker's weren't of old money: they understood the value of their riches, bought stocks in the name of their children and made investments, and valued education most of all. It didn't help that both the mother and father of Nicholas had graduated the top of their class at university and held PhD's which actually contributed to out understanding of the world. So, imagine their ecstasy when they realised their child was a wunderkind, a prodigy, a genius. That child, unfortunately, was not Nicholas. It was his twin sister, Samantha. 


Nicholas grew under the shadow of his sister. He spent nights making home movies and cooking shows while his parents accompanied Sam to award ceremonies for young scientists in exotic countries. He learned to remain quiet during dinner time when his sister's latest achievements were being discussed, for the fear of his being undermined. He spoke not a word of his B's and C's when his sister started taking AP classes at the age of 11. Cole's first picture was hidden under certificates lining the refrigerator door.


Saying that his parent's obliviousness to their second child is what instilled the deep-seated fear of disappointment in him would make a strong argument, and a true one, but that is not to say that the parents are the antagonist of the story. No, unlike others, the only evil which exists here is Cole himself. Because, yes, he was neglected, but he made no effort to improve his ways. At the age of 11, he'd already met and mingled with the wrong crowd. By 13, he was smoking a pack a day and got drunk frequently. He'd been introduced to stronger, more harmful items by the time he was 15. There were circles underneath his eyes and scars on his face from when he pierced his nails into his skin to make the hallucinations go away. He lived during the night, died during the day. His grades dropped, his health failed. He was barely ever home, and when he was, he was a slow moving zombie. His parent's tried to help, a lot, but Cole refused it all: in his mind, he was a disappointment. There was nothing to be done. The drugs gave him happiness and were the only things that gave him happiness. His passion for photography was gone - he was hollow. By the time he turned seventeen, things had gotten unimaginably worse: his family refused to speak to him, he was shunned at school by his peers and teachers and there was no one left who understood. And one fateful night, the worst of the worst happened. Nothing could prepare him for this. His rage for his sister was an ever growing monster inside of him. He'd managed to conceal the monster for so, so long. But then news came that his parents were funding his sister's trip around the world, the same parents who refused to give him a dime to cater to his addiction, which forced him into stealing, and he lost it.


Doused in alcohol-induced rage, he stormed into the almost empty house, for his parents were away, grabbed his sister who was busy packing by the wrist and dragged her to his car. Locking all doors, he hit the gas and took off. He could hear her scream and cry beside him but he did not care: she was the enemy, she was his only enemy. If she'd disappear, the sadness would disappear. They cruised down sunset boulevard at dangerously high speeds and the sounds of police vehicles behind them. The last thing he remembered thinking is: "I wish I would die." And then, there was a screech, flashing lights and then: nothing.


Cole woke up in a hospital bed. His sister had died in the accident, he was being laid off because his parent's lawyers had convinced the jury that this had been caused by a mental disorder, and the family was fined 2500 dollars.


Cole spent the next six months doused in depression, guilt and self-flagellation. He'd torn the family apart: his parents refused to speak to him. He was the cause of it all, he was the antagonist of his story. The drugs returned to his bedside table. He scraped past graduation, then spent his days smoking in his bedroom. He wouldn't eat for days, his body shrunk into a sorry shadow of its past self. His eyes grew more bloodshot with each passing day, the smell of cigarettes clung to every inch of himself. His eyes were hollow, his lips cracked, his skin pale: he was dead inside. This was the worst time of his life, the time he's the most ashamed of. It had been six months since he'd stepped outside when he was called downstairs for the remembrance of his sister.


That day, something inside of him snapped. He looked at himself and saw a creature he'd never wished to be. During prayers, he couldn't help but think of how he'd failed his family, his friends, himself. That day, he got dressed, left the house and came back with a tattoo on his wrist that read Sam. He hugged his parents. He cried in their arms. He sadi he was sorry. They forgave him.


Soon after, he met friends and his mental health grew steadily better. He traded smoking for nicotine patches and got a job. He started modelling and cooking again. He got a boyfriend, then a girlfriend. Both didn't last long, but they helped. He decided to move to NYC and his parents agreed that space might heal their relationship. The dark circles have disappeared, but if you come close enough, you would still be able to smell the cigarette smoke lingering in his hair.

 
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Theme: The Sound by the 1975
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[arctic]

He's done!