Realistic or Modern 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐬 -- 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐯

[cultmentality]

TW - THEMES OF MENTAL ILLNESS AND SUICIDE
I'm a first responder right out of med school, and its only my first month here but I've seen some messed up shit already that's making me question if I have what it takes to work this job. After having a lady who had been in a car accident - the bones in her legs shattered, ribs grinded to almost dust cause she was pinned by her seatbelt, with a metal rod stuck in her throat - die on the scene despite trying my damnest to save her. I'm scared to let anything else happen on my watch, so I'm on desk duty for a while to get a hold of my horrid anxiety. I get a call during the graveyard shift from you. You sound terrified, and as you explain the situation to me, I understand why. You tell me that you thought you wanted to die and you took all the pills you could find before painting your wrist with a razor blade. There's no EMT's at the station besides me and I'm terrified as I race over to a stranger's house because I need you to be okay - and I really can't take losing anyone else. When I get there I see you're not much older than me and fading fast on the bathroom floor. I know you think I saved you, but I really want you to know that you saved me. I visit you everyday in the hospital while you're recovering, and even take you home when you're discharged. I'm checking on you everytime I get the chance and there's a lot of late nights in your apartment talking and falling asleep on your couch cause I'm so exhausted from work everyday and - shit I think I'm falling for you.

if you could start this one that would be awesome !!

 

[AstroBunny]

Life was never easy for Liu. There was always something stressing him out or picking at him. His family wasnt in the picture since he moved out, they seemed to forget about him. He was sometimes invited to Christmas and holidays but, never by his actual parents. Usually by his extended family. But due to that, he never went to visit.

He doesnt consider his own feelings, he does his best to please everyone. He feels, if he doesnt have to worry about anyone else, as in theyre stable and happy, then he can rest and give in. As in suicide. But… Thinking through it now. He doesnt want to die. He wants to help himself. Wants to save himself to help others still. So now, hes panicking…

—

He had panicked after the realization sank in. The blade in hand, the blood spilling onto the once white tile floor. His heart felt heavy, his eyes dry for he was too shocked to cry. He didnt know what to do. Empty pill bottles scattered around the bathroom, Liu just sitting helplessly on the floor in the middle. Why? Why does he do this?

He doesnt know what to do, he could physically feel the life draining from him with the blood. And his body caving in from the pills. Was it too late? No. He had to call someone. To give himself a chance.

So, he dialed 911. Urgently trying to calm his breath to speak. He heard someone who sounded his age answer the call, but that wasn’t important. “H-hello? I need help! Uh- ambulance probably? Im bleeding and- and- shit! I took a shit ton of pills, I wanted to die but I- i made a mistake! Im scared!” His voice cracked and whined as he spoke, showing he was panicked and afraid this was it. This could be the last person he spoke too. ​

 

[cultmentality]

voided <//3

 

[AstroBunny]

Liu didnt know if he’d make it. If he’d see the light of day, if hed marry someone, if hed own a cat. Anything. He can’t believe this could be it. That this is all over, and its his fault for acting on a impulse.

The boy trembled harshly as he heard the worker on the phone, his eyes darting around with trauma at the sight of the blood. “Uh yes- un… 167 moonland dr..” he said frantically, barely breathing from the anxiety. He was so light headed. “Im- Im Liu..” he grabbed a towel and put pressure on his cuts, wanting to yell at the phone to say hurry but he would rather die then be rude.

He was a bit relieved, only slightly, that someone was supposedly on their way. He heard the commotion through the phone, obviously hearing a new voice talk to him. It did confuse him, but it was too late for him to think about it.

Eventually he started to feel weak, not able to talk well enough as it felt his mouth would foam from the reaction to the pills. He crumbled to the ground, his phone covered in blood as he curled up on the tile floor. He couldnt think. This was it huh? So quick.. guess it was meant to happen.

He then heard the familiar voice from the phone, using his strength to speak. “Up..stairs-“ he gasped out, hoping he could hear him. The bathroom door was wide open, revealing Liu’s body that was shaking and seemed in misery. He was obviously crying and in pain. Still holding the towel against his wrists to try and stop the blood.​