Story Writing an completely original Fantasy Novel constructive criticism appreciated

Auralyn

New Member
I'm writing a fantasy novel. I've written over 15,000 words so far. I wont post it here because It has some swearing in it. I don't believe it has any triggering things in it, but I am not someone who is offended or triggered easily so that might not be the same for someone else. I've been working on it a while and ill leave a little bit from the second chapter. It an explanation about familiars in my story. If what i have written you would like to read more and don't mind cussing and I can explain pm about the premise of the story then feel free to pm!

Its not difficult or rare to have familiars. Anyone who can access mana through their spiritual energy can come into contact with them. On rare occasions, such life or death situations, familiars manifest in the matter plane without a spiritual connection to mana plane. Although I have heard of a few stories of familiars using timid people to gain access to ours. Familiars are conscious energy that are born within the mana. Personalities form based on two factors. Values and traits of the different people they’ve contracted with and various interactions with other energies. Familiars can't maintain form here with all the different energies our world contains, they need to have a grounding point of similar energy. So in order to come and go when it wants to in a physical form, its must form an SBC (Spiritual Bonding Contract or A Spiritual Binding Contract). The difference between them is the intention behind the desire for a physical form.

A spiritual bonding contract is then presented by the familiar to someone with compatible mana along with a deep connection Contracts start with an agreement on the terms and conditions each side wants the other to uphold , then it is finalized when both parties are satisfied. The energies harmonize thus, creating a new shared energy. As your words hold the power to influence your life, breaking a verbal contract can have major consequences. I know of 3 ways one no longer has a contract with a familiar. You die and your mana is released back unto the mana plane, you break a term or conditions in the contract or one or both sides ends the contract for whatever seasoning they have.

Some familiars just want a grounding point between planes so they approach humans with similar mana who agree to be their anchor with the Spiritual Binding Contract.Think of it like this, Say someones needs a blood transfusion. The docs always find a donor with the same blood type. If they are not the same the body rejects it. Its more or less the same thing but instead of body rejection, familiars are unable to connect. period. end of story. Through that connection though, or what is called the mana channel , A familiar get a sense of the true nature of a person. Just like with any species, some are good, some are bad. The bad tend to respond to bad people. Ya know like energy attracts like energy and all that jazz? It can only be here for so long before its pulled back to the spiritual realm. So if no pact is formed with the human it chose, the chance is lost and must wait for however long to try again. Familiars then get a choice if they want to try again with this human or wait for another similar mana channel when it becomes available Familiars have no gender or form so it will manifest in forms that resonate with their personality and what your hearts desire would want to see them as.
 

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