犬笛 - Papi Chulo
This is really exciting! I'm stuck on my cellphone today but that has yet to stop me from trying. I'll work on a sheet!
I'm gonna spend some time simplifying the abilities as I agree with you that it isn't coherent or balanced as it is now. I'll tag you when I'm done!Danidify
1. I think "Veil" steps away from illusion magic. You're not making an alternate reality bubble. You're making an illusion and that illusion affects that one person like a hallucination. It should not be able to affect anyone else around that person. If it does, then it is no longer an illusion but you're playing with dimension magic, which is not an option.
2. Transformation, I can't see this happening. If she transformed to affect that one victim she is affecting, sure. But if it affects anyone who gazes on her, then it is touching in the god-moding realm. You have her first ability being on able to affect one person. For her to force other people to see her as "X" when she struggles with her first ability doesn't make much sense. I can see this being an actual shape-shifting ability like Mystique if she could just affect anyone she wanted (more physically changing shape than mentally). I just can't see this working for multiple targets who just happen to be gazing on her. That requires too much mind manipulation of other characters.
3. Does the diversion affect the person? Say if they were shot by the bullet, they would be shot for real? To what extent does diversion affect the person? How are they perceiving pain if it is more of a reaction? If they have never been shot for real, and they aren't being shot for real, how can their brain perceive a pain it has never experienced? I can see diversion more of a scare factor that a literal perception manipulator. Does Iris know what it is like to be shot? I can see her perception of the the pain being transferred to her victim if you want to go that route, but I can't see the victim knowing what something feels like if their brain has never encountered it.
4. Mirage seems very similar to Phantasm. You say she can only create a Phantasm for one person and that multiple would require her to exert herself and to be stationary. Mirage seems like the exact same spell except you're saying it can affect multiple people. Because it is affecting multiple people, does this require her to be stationary? Is it taxing?
I can rework Mahari as a Witch if needed/if the ratio is off. The original concept I had for her was for a Witch and included a Hypnotic Fragrance ability, potent stuff lmao. Also, enjoy your rest~Hey all. I was at the beach all day and now it's late for me. I will get to these tomorrow (probably your tonight for those in the US). I will not be accepting anymore CSes tomorrow...unless...the Esper : Witch ratio is ugly. But we'll see. Sorry for the delay!
1. YOU'RE RIGHT!! That technique was an afterthought cause I thought I HAD to have 5 abilities!! I'll change this to the speed boost from the offensive shield ability! ^^Mera
Upgrade: I think this ability would fry the machines or cause them to overheat because they only have a limited capacity to process and function before they meltdown. When lightning strikes a house, anything you have plugged in becomes fried. It doesn't get supercharged.
Rayguns: Lasers are a unique thermal energy different from electricity. If she fired lightning bolts, fine. But lasers would be a whole different ability that isn't offered in this game.
Charged up: Creating an electric force field is one ability. Increasing your character's speed would be a second ability. You cannot have two abilities in one. So you may need to just use a technique slot for the increased speed.
Shocking Tsunami: Does she take fall damage from this?
I have some things in mind, but I'd rather save the slot for whatever Cyril develops through the RP. I figured that what he has currently is flexible enough for his needs.Nano You have room for a fifth ability, but I guess you are good with 4 out of 5 for now? I mentioned to a player that they don't have to have all five abilities at the start of the game and can acquire whatever they're missing later. They just have to send it to me for approval, but just let me know. Otherwise, this CS is approved.
Blind fighter with a cane who is a hypnotist? No. It makes no sense and wouldn't work. I think you should give her sight and just throw the blind concept in the garbage. She can still have a mask if she's wearing it to protect her peers from becoming entranced, but the actual blind concept just doesn't work with how you have it. It just doesn't.
Echolocation: This goes away from the Hypnotism technique completely. It is close to Highlighting. You need to stick to your character's chosen power or just change it if you don't think you'll be able to fill in all five slots. This is a wasted slot. Something else could go here.
Alluring Voice: I am curious if this works on "anyone" because you're comparing it to a Siren's song. Sirens could only affect men. Does it affect adults, children, animals, who does it affect exactly?
Infatuation: She has hypnotic eyes and voice. Why would she need to touch someone to make her charm work if she has abilities already that can bend people? I think this is a wasted slot. Something else could go here.
You also don't have to have five skill slots filled. You can start the game with only three and develop the other two later. But if you develop a skill, then you need to submit it to me for approval.
Again, people struggle to make five skill slots lol. So I most likely won't be giving characters the opportunity to learn new abilities, so take advantage of this.
If you want to switch powers, you can.
Would it be best to pick a different power? Because save for echolocation, those were all powers that were directly attached to the Hypnosis concept and the other abilities listed under Hypnosis either weren't appropriate for a PG13 site (lol) or didn't make any sense for an action thread (Hypnotic Food seemed odd). So I can pull the blind/echolocation concepts off the sheet, but I'll also switch powers if that would be alright?
Got it! Editing right now ^^