DisneyGirl
it was fun, peace out.
Or, "Why do I keep getting ghosted? Should I quit roleplaying? Is it just not for me? Is there something wrong with me?" Etc.
I keep seeing a lot of ya'll getting discouraged and, heck, a lot of times I get discouraged while RP partner searching too. It's frustrating to plan out a roleplay, get all excited for it, maybe even finally start writing with somebody...and then have it not work out. I get it. I feel your pain.
Now, I know this is not what you want to hear, but here's the truth: finding a good roleplay partner (or even just a good roleplay) takes time. For everyone. I can only speak from my experience. I've been roleplaying for 14 years. I've been an active member of RPN since January 2015. In that time, I've planned roleplays with just slightly over 200 people here. 211 if I counted correctly. Do you want to know how many of those 1x1 roleplay partners I ended up writing with for more than just a few posts before one of us or both of us dropped out? Around 20ish. How many of them lasted longer than a month or so? Exactly 7. In my 4 years of roleplaying on RPN, I have had 7 RP partners that ended up sticking with me longer than a couple of months. I only have two active roleplays with two of them right now.
"Dang, that sounds depressing," you might think. But if you think about it, that's how it is with everything in life. How many people have you met in your lifetime that ended up being your friends? How many jobs do people apply to before they end up working at a handful of places during their lifetime?
Now here's the good news: you only really need a handful or less of people to roleplay with. The cool thing about the roleplay partners that I've met through RPN is that we share the same 1x1 interests and we've become really good friends. Some of them are my best friends. That means that we can have multiple roleplays together, without having to go through the search again.
"But I just want to roleplay now!"
So do I. Finding someone who's willing to reply to your search thread and do a little bit of plotting and maybe posting is usually easy but finding a quality roleplay partner is a totally different thing altogether. It's like dating in that way. Thanks to dating apps, you can find any cute person to go on a date with you, but finding someone really special is gonna take work and it's not realistic to expect to find them on the first couple of dates. But, you will find them eventually and it'll be worth it. Trust me.
Now. There are some important things to consider that might be hurting your chances of finding partners:
- If you're mean/controlling/intimidating, or something similar to that, then that might be why you're having problems. If you're not good at collaborating or too demanding, that's definitely going to destroy any potential roleplays you have.
- It's important to be able to express yourself clearly. English may not be your first language and/or maybe you struggle with grammar and spelling, and that's okay. Nobody's perfect. But it is important that others are able to understand you, otherwise they can't write with you.
- Pursue and only pursue those with the same interests/style as you. If you're into anime roleplays with quick daily replies, then contact other people who like anime roleplays with quick daily replies. Most likely someone who likes anime but detailed writing or someone who likes quick replies but not anime isn't going to be interested in roleplaying with you. It doesn't make you a bad person or them a bad person. You're just not compatible. I write detailed and romantic modern roleplays. If I tried to roleplay with the medieval fantasy crowd or the daily replies crowd, I would never find a roleplay partner. You gotta find your tribe.
- Last but not least, be patient. Assume people are gonna ghost you and be ready to move on. Grieve and rant about it for sure, but the show must go on. If it gets to be too much, try sticking with the few partners you have. If having the luck of finding 7 roleplay partners out of 200 sounds like too much for you, maybe roleplaying is not for you and that's okay.
I went through a lot of roleplay partners in these past four years. I got ghosted. I lost friends. I got my heart broken and I got angry. Roleplaying really is time-consuming and can take a lot out of you. Writing a story with somebody is a bond like no other. But going through 200 was worth it all to find those 7.
Keep searching guys
I keep seeing a lot of ya'll getting discouraged and, heck, a lot of times I get discouraged while RP partner searching too. It's frustrating to plan out a roleplay, get all excited for it, maybe even finally start writing with somebody...and then have it not work out. I get it. I feel your pain.
Now, I know this is not what you want to hear, but here's the truth: finding a good roleplay partner (or even just a good roleplay) takes time. For everyone. I can only speak from my experience. I've been roleplaying for 14 years. I've been an active member of RPN since January 2015. In that time, I've planned roleplays with just slightly over 200 people here. 211 if I counted correctly. Do you want to know how many of those 1x1 roleplay partners I ended up writing with for more than just a few posts before one of us or both of us dropped out? Around 20ish. How many of them lasted longer than a month or so? Exactly 7. In my 4 years of roleplaying on RPN, I have had 7 RP partners that ended up sticking with me longer than a couple of months. I only have two active roleplays with two of them right now.
"Dang, that sounds depressing," you might think. But if you think about it, that's how it is with everything in life. How many people have you met in your lifetime that ended up being your friends? How many jobs do people apply to before they end up working at a handful of places during their lifetime?
Now here's the good news: you only really need a handful or less of people to roleplay with. The cool thing about the roleplay partners that I've met through RPN is that we share the same 1x1 interests and we've become really good friends. Some of them are my best friends. That means that we can have multiple roleplays together, without having to go through the search again.
"But I just want to roleplay now!"
So do I. Finding someone who's willing to reply to your search thread and do a little bit of plotting and maybe posting is usually easy but finding a quality roleplay partner is a totally different thing altogether. It's like dating in that way. Thanks to dating apps, you can find any cute person to go on a date with you, but finding someone really special is gonna take work and it's not realistic to expect to find them on the first couple of dates. But, you will find them eventually and it'll be worth it. Trust me.
Now. There are some important things to consider that might be hurting your chances of finding partners:
- If you're mean/controlling/intimidating, or something similar to that, then that might be why you're having problems. If you're not good at collaborating or too demanding, that's definitely going to destroy any potential roleplays you have.
- It's important to be able to express yourself clearly. English may not be your first language and/or maybe you struggle with grammar and spelling, and that's okay. Nobody's perfect. But it is important that others are able to understand you, otherwise they can't write with you.
- Pursue and only pursue those with the same interests/style as you. If you're into anime roleplays with quick daily replies, then contact other people who like anime roleplays with quick daily replies. Most likely someone who likes anime but detailed writing or someone who likes quick replies but not anime isn't going to be interested in roleplaying with you. It doesn't make you a bad person or them a bad person. You're just not compatible. I write detailed and romantic modern roleplays. If I tried to roleplay with the medieval fantasy crowd or the daily replies crowd, I would never find a roleplay partner. You gotta find your tribe.
- Last but not least, be patient. Assume people are gonna ghost you and be ready to move on. Grieve and rant about it for sure, but the show must go on. If it gets to be too much, try sticking with the few partners you have. If having the luck of finding 7 roleplay partners out of 200 sounds like too much for you, maybe roleplaying is not for you and that's okay.
I went through a lot of roleplay partners in these past four years. I got ghosted. I lost friends. I got my heart broken and I got angry. Roleplaying really is time-consuming and can take a lot out of you. Writing a story with somebody is a bond like no other. But going through 200 was worth it all to find those 7.
Keep searching guys
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