DuckieSue
Junior Member
~Rebecca Thompson~
Nothing stays the same for long. When I mean nothing I mean even people change. They see where they can supposely improve in themselves and they try their damnedest to do just that. Even if it destroys the people around them that care for them the most. What I’m getting at is that even going through hell isn’t suppose to last forever I’m sure as hell hope it doesn’t. Is it suppose to be punishment? It’s punishment enough knowing that I will never see his face again. That smile, god it could lighten up any load on your shoulders in a heartbeat. That thick skull of his, that was so hard at times to get through, it was possible though. For god’s sake I had just had the first taste actual love. There was nothing that made me so open to trying new things but him.
I smirked still half awake from an evening nap at his place. It was early summer, just a summer fling I thought but it turned into far more than that. He shook his head with a wild eyed grin as he popped an oyster into his mouth, reaching over while chewing silently and kissed my forehead. He loved oysters with a passion. I could never see why, still don’t. I yawned and was just about to cover it before having a gooey substance enter my mouth. “Just chew, you just might like it.” He said taking away the napkin that I had already grabbed. I cocked a brow before chewing soundlessly and swallowing. It tasted like f****** mud for crying out loud. I drank some of his sweet tea trying to get the taste out of my mouth for good. “Such a f****** bastard.” I mused shaking my head handing his drink back to him as he shrugged. “At least you tried it.”
“You stubborn donkey. Why would you even try that? What were you thinking Shane? Seriously, you threw a punch at my dad!” I hollered seeing him take out his pocket knife and cutting the strings that held together the bell of hay, not acting like he even heard my voice that echoed through the small barn. “I had to beg him for you to keep your job with working for him.” I said walking up hurriedly and grabbing his wrist pulling him to look at me. The next thing I know I’m pinned against a stall door, his hands under my ass picking me of the ground as my legs latched around his waist our tongues wrestling for dominance. See what I mean by he could bring any load off your shoulders. It was simple to him.
My socks slid across the hard wood floors, as the music blasted through the house. I closed my eyes spinning around with a bottle of wine gripped loosely in my hand. Tonight my parents were out with their friends so why not have a little fun? I ran my hand through my hair roughly before jumping and falling on my ass looking up at Shane first with fearful eyes, gripping a chair leg to throw in front of me for protection. Without a second look I released the chair as he smirked, trying his damnedest not to bust out laughing. “Screw you.” I snarled getting my breathing back under control quickly. He pulled me up into his rough arms. I decided at that very moment it was real. Real love, not just another summer fling, actually something special for once. He looked down kissing my lips ever so tenderly before speaking that sweet tone. “I bet you would love to, cause I sure do.” A few hours later we were both entwined in each other. Both in or birthday suits snuggling so tightly against one another I could feel his chest rise and fall with every breath. “Do you ever think about the future? What it will have in store. What do you see?” He asked against my for head before kissing it adoringly. I was just about to speak before I heard a shotgun getting cocked at my door. “Boy you better get the hell out of here before you end up in body bag six feet under.” My father warned pointing it straight for Shane’s head. Before I could do anything he had pulled on his jeans and basically ran like there was no tomorrow out of the house. I thought that night would never end. I can’t count how many times my parents said, “You’re never seeing that boy again, you hear me. That’s a fact shug”
The next morning was a bit foggy, something seemed extremely different. Not in good way either, it felt off. I was placing the folded clothes into the drawers of the dresser that had little pictures here and there of Shane and myself. I smiled faintly as I pushed the drawer back into place as I turned to see my momma going to sit on my bed and my dad just standing in the doorway. I thought it was kind of weird. How their expression was just told me something was wrong. They looked so ashamed before my dad couldn’t stand me not knowing any much longer. “Shane. He got hit by a drunk driver. It was a head on collision. There was no survivors…I’m so sorry baby girl.” He said trying to push through the news I could tell his voice was shaking through it all. My mom bowed her head beginning the water works. Tears automatically brimmed my oceanic eyes. Turning back to the mirror to gaze at the photos. Right then they became memories that would never be brought back up with him. Never to be looked back on and laugh or butts off because of it. “You're just saying that. It’s not true. It’s can’t be true.” My eyes turned like a switch to my father. In my eyes at the moment it was all his fault. They were filled with hatred and I couldn’t control myself. “You did this! You made him leave for god’s sakes! I hate you! Say you hated him! Say it! You made him leave!” I hollered through the tears my voice struggling, my mind was whirling like a windmill in a hurricane. The hurricane was over in a few second of throwing punches into my father’s ribcage as he just tried to comfort my head, trying to sooth me. The storm passed and what it left was me and my dad on the floor with a broken heart. I was balling my eyes out into his chest not being about to breath, on the bridge of hyperventilating. I rushed into the bathroom out of his grip not being able to contain the little that was in my stomach at the time.
It was a stormy and nasty outside it. They hadn’t had a storm like this ever since that night. I couldn’t stand it any longer I had to go see him. The cross on the side of the road of course. I hadn’t even driven past it not beginning able to see where it all went down. I ran out of the house letting the screen door slam behind me. “Where the hell are you going shug?” My mother called before shaking her head. I just keeping running, my mind picturing his truck in front of me. Until about 20 minutes later I was out of breath and my legs felt like jello my mind picturing the crash. Glass few everywhere it was so vivid I dunked when I looked up everything was gone except the cross. I walked the few feet and sat down weakly beside it. I wiped the tears from my checks but it was no use. “I saw you. Shane. I saw you.” I said through the rain that was soaking my whole body.
Now it’s time to start back with the hell hole that was the wildest bar in town. Even if its been a few years I still don't go on the road that the crash was on. I just don’t think it would be best to see that tiny cross every day. So my little Tacoma has to take the back roads, and thats fine anything not to get stuck up on something I have no control over. I pulled into a vacant parking space, retrieving the material that was needed in the passenger side. My mind wondered off allowing my eyes to receive a perfect spitting image of Shane laughing in the passenger seat. I shook my head before getting out, locking my doors to protect the valuables in the truck. Like the browning sign that hung down from my review. Before clasping the door handle of the school entrance I kissed golden tobacco leaf that was on a chain, used to be his necklace before he had given it to me to hold on to and remember him when were not physically together. I got dressed into the bar tending uniform before heading hurriedly out to the counter. My eyes scanning for a split second before getting to work fixing drinks rushly even with a bit of grace. After serving the first ones sitting I moved my way to the last one that walked in. "What can I start ya off with sir?"