Character Theory What Makes a Character Feel More Human?

BakaTheIdiot

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Hi there! Title more or less spells it all out. What do you include in your characters to give them a little more depth? What makes a character become a little bit more than some words on a screen, to the point where they could tug on the heartstrings a little should something happen?

I'm intrigued to hear y'alls thoughts.
 
The only characters I have who feel human and more real to me are ones I've roleplayed. When I make them they're just there to serve a purpose and their experiences through act of roleplay are what make them human to me. They experience tragedy, loss, grief, happiness, struggle, adventure, love, passion, danger and it all defines them a little more each experience until they feel human to me. Because now they have memories, connections, and so forth.

But I'm not one to plan out characters in full or as they say make them "fully fleshed out people" right from the beginning (not my jam). Not to say they aren't in my head but I don't write it down most times. And ultimately it's the RPing of them that really solidifies who they are for me.
 
Always keep in mind your character has social needs beyond their romantic interests.

That's one pitfall I've seen some people fall into with their characters, at least in my opinion. People have their friend groups, their BFFs, their Bromances. Sometimes those platonic relationships can be even more gripping and real then the romances. Not to talk bad about romances, but sometimes people go into a story with the sole purpose of having a romance with their character, which is fine, but I don't think that gets all of the fine creative juices out of a character.

Sometimes it's the BFF your character goes to when things get bad to have an ice-cream night to feel better.
Sometimes it's the Bro who will put their life on the line just because you two have faced everything through thick and thin.

This is primarily important in group RPs.

As examples, two characters I loved from my time on Champions Online, a Superhero MMORPG I RP'd on for a while, where Violet and Green Gunsman.

Violet was a Fasionista, a mutant who had fears of being ostracized by society and deep seeded doubts in herself due to being bullied for her purple hair when she was younger. As a result she became this flamboyant fashionista who's over the top and proud acting to try and cover up these misgivings and crippling fears. These were great character assets on their own, but she made a BFF. A girl in the same superhero team she joined, a fiery redhead celebrity. She admitted she looked up to her BFF due to her confidence in the limelight and seeming lack of fear, that she was a sort of role model to her. In a way she was the antithises to all of Violet's own personal demons, a girl who molded personal opinion to her whims and was a shining beacon to onlookers, while also being totally wild and free to do as she wanted. In turn the Celebirty's own personal woes and faults Violet was there to help her with, the two were always there to pick the other up when they were down. Either with shopping trips, ice cream, or just sleepovers hanging out, talking about bad dates, personal superhero story stuff, etc. It was honestly really sweet.

Another was Green Gunsman, he was this vigilante type with a deep mistrust of the government and a strong belief in the people. He was a Wiley Mccguyver who despite his superhero name was a hard end hero, never using fatal means to take down an enemy. He didn't believe in killing, using rubber bullets and concussive means to take down criminals and villains. He eventually met and made friends with a Vigilante he met in the clubs of the game called Squeak, a lab-experiment rat who became a rat-man in a fine suit with dual katanas. He was well spoken, but had a bit of a troublemaking streak that jived with the chill yet fun loving Green Gunsman. The two became fast friends, and it was one of the best 'Bromances' I had the honor of RPing out. Those two where always there for one another, be it trying to hype the other up when nervous about dates, chatting up cosmic beings in the bars, or getting into absurd nonsense because they pranked a Fae and things got out of hand.

Unfortunately, Squeak's RPer had to leave the game, and so he decided it best to let Squeak die so his story had an end. The way he did this was to have his character start dying from aging, as it seemed like he had the lifespan of a lab rat despite his human traits. The mad scientist, his nemesis who made him was a point of contention. Squeak was more of a vigilante you see, and despite GG trying to talk him out of the path Squeak was okay with killing bad guys, but he'd been getting better. This problem put pressure on them, Squeak was dying, and he felt like if he died no one else could beat his Nemesis. GG tried to point out there was an entire world of superheroes out there, and to take him in alive, but that whatever he chose he'd help Squeak. They, and Squeaks girlfriend, invaded the volcano base of the supervillain, where GG and Squeak's Girlfriend were cut off from him by a cage, forcing Squeak into a one on one with his nemesis. Rapidly aging by now he was showing his weakness, and before the fight ended, while Squeak one, he was injected with a serum that would break up his genetics rapidly. He was going to die.

The entire supergroup (Think the Justice League) rounded up to say their last goodbyes. It was one of the few times I nearly cried at an RP scene. Despite this being a lab-rat man in a suit, this was my characters best friend of nearly over a year dying on a table. I'll never forget some of his last words;

"I didn't kill him, I'm a hero now aren't I?"

When he died, Green Gunsman went to his own Fiance, and just hugged her and cried.

I don't think it's something easy to replicate in 1x1 RPs. A bunch of RPers together, mourning the final sendoff of someone a lot of them had made friendships with. It felt real, and that day humanity was shown in all of them.
 
One thing that I keep in mind throughout a game is that not every character will get along or have the same opinions as the others. When they have a conflict of interest that could easily make them feel more human and it shows that you're not afraid to get out of your comfort zone. It's okay to add a bit of tension between characters to spice things up and garner interaction. Also, I make sure my characters have a "social network" outside of the main plot, whether it'll be talking to family members or friends usually creates an easy backstory to work with.
 
This is a little complicated for me to answer. See, I tend to approach roleplay more from a storywriter's point of view, and so I'm more likely to think something like "I love how this moment show's the character's growth and reflects on their arc" than "I'm really happy they got what they wanted". This is not to say the later sentiment never happens, but I tend to look at things from a more structural point of view and a good story beat can compel me more at times than a character being relatable. That said, there are certainly cases where a character stands out as particularly human to me, and I'll be basing my criteria on those for this answer.

1. The Little Things- One of the things that really humanizes a character for me is the little things added to their character that help fill the gaps the essentials don't cover. What kind of life do they live outside of the plot's circumstances? What little aspects of day to day life do they cherish? Perhaps they really care about their morning coffee? I often say that the stakes of a save the world plot are no more (in fact sometimes less) valuable than a character's journey to attempt to find a plush toy they kept as a memento from their childhood. The scale is very different, but the character's personal attachment to the matter may be even greater the more (excuse the repetition) personal it is to them.
As such, allow me to correct the above: It's not just the little things. Fleshing out a character to feel more than a pawn on the story is important, but even more important is the character's relationship to those little things, how much and how well you display that they truly care and that are truly something they want to keep.

2. The Exploration of Reasons- A good character has flaws. A good character has internal consistency. However, a character becomes more human when the why of those flaws is done well. I don't simply mean that it should generally be justified - though that goes without saying- but rather it should also be something the character struggles with fundamentally. Put simply, people deny their own flaws, whether by justifying them or by overlooking them. Of course, people can learn to face their own flaws, but it's not like a cheat code where you just automatically recognize and overcome your own flaws- you learn to recognize one or a few flaws at a time, and may work on them with greater or lesser success. Characters I feel are more human when you really explore why they act in the way they act and why persist in that manner of acting. Why their nature manifests as it does and they can't simply let go of it or even face the flaws in their thinking. No one is truly convinced they are wrong- so how do they react when proven to be?

3. Not Seeing the Author's Hand- Rather than being about what makes a character human, this one is more about not instantly shattering any semblance of humanity a character has to me. This criteria is about how a character has to be able to work for their setting, backstory and personality. Obviously there is room for creative license here, but if a character acts too much outside of those it becomes abundantly clear they are doing so not because they would but because their "puppeteer" is making them do it. Everyone acts out and then, but too much of it and the character will just be seen as the puppet they are being treated as. Examples include a princess who for no reason whatsoever has a 21st century worldview or characters getting magical hunches that just so happen to metagame in whatever direction the player wants them to go. However, its also possible - dare I say even more common- for this problem within the construction of the character itself. Blatant self-inserts, characters with inconsistent or virtually non-existent or entirely inconsistent personalities for example.
When the flaw is in the construction, what tends to happen is that the character simply doesn't function as a singular entity. They either are an amalgamation of stuff that just doesn't go together or at least has no reason to- or when the player roleplays them they end up driving the character by their decisions instead of anything that makes sense for the character (be it because the character has no direction to call its own and therefore its entirely dictated by the whims of the player, or because the character is simply not functional within a story and the player is unable to use them without breaking character).
 
It's as straight forward as not making them one-dimensional. They should have purpose and personality beyond what is presented in the plot of the story. For example, in a RP centred around romance there should be more to your character than just falling in love. To use one of my current characters as an example, he has a cause he strongly believes in and continues to fight for even if his love interest is on the opposite side of said conflict. Realistically, I doubt most people would give up on their goals and ambitions simply for the sake of love(and if they're forced to then that could perhaps constitute abuse) so why should fictional characters have to? Besides, having these opposing views creates additional challenges for the two characters. What's romance without a bit of occasional drama?
 
So I tend to base a lot of my characters on actual people in my life. So I think that definitely helps keep them acting like people.

But from an objective point of view I agree with Doomevil Doomevil , make sure they have a strong support network. As the more people that are in your world (even if they are just throw away mentions) the more realistic your characters feel.

Also don’t be afraid to give them real personality flaws or let them be unliked/disbelieved.

I think sometimes we can have a tendency to stick to virtues and ignore vices (god knows I do it enough myself). But real people are going to have little flaws about themselves, they’ll have bad days or things they do that are annoying.
 
Hi there!

This might sound a bit sarcastic and overly simplistic, but it's the honest truth: What makes a character feel human is having them think and act like one.

What do I mean by that?

Human beings naturally internalize most of our thoughts. So having your character talk at length about what they're feeling is unnatural and very mechanical. For example, if your character loses the love of their life and proceeds to go on a five paragraph exposition dump about the complete history they shared with this love interest, that's not a human way of going about things. That's a very clunky and unnatural dump of information that nobody needs, asked for, or wants.

Instead, just have them react. Because that's what real people do in the heat of the moment. They react.

When the love interest dies, have the character falls to their knees and begin bawling. They pick up the hand of their fallen lover and hold it to their forehead while in their mind they take notice of the fact that these now cold and lifeless fingers are a far cry from the warmth and comfort this same hand and these same fingers used to bring. They pick up the body of their lover and hug it tightly, clinging for dear life as they cannot let go of what once was and will never be again. They stroke their lover's hair asking them to "come back" as if wishing hard enough will make it so. And finally, after minutes of tears and desperate attempts to miraculously open their eyes and see their lover alive and smiling back... Acceptance. They gently set the body down, close their lover's eyes, and bid them farewell while they feel their heart shattering into millions of pieces within their chest.

That is human. To react instead of talk. To emote instead of narrate. And to simply be in the moment when something happens.

Whether it's a tragic, joyous, haunting, or ethereal event, the basic idea is the same. To feel human the character needs to simply react as real humans do. The more the character yaps on and spits out exposition, the less human they feel.

-----

Now, as to the point about adding depth. A lot of people mistake "depth" for content volume, which is absolutely not the case. You could write an entire book on a character and still have them end up about as deep and interesting as a puddle on the sidewalk during a light sprinkle.

True "depth" of character is generated by the meaning behind the life events your character has gone through. It's not the volume or nature of those events. It's the "what's next" and the "why" behind how those events have shaped the character's existence.

For example: Your character is born into a wealthy family. Because the family is wealthy they naturally have enemies who are jealous, bitter, resentful, etc just because they're wealthy and not necessarily for any other reason. Those people take action by burning the family estate to the ground killing the character's family, servants, and several other people who lived nearby when the blaze became uncontrollable and ran amok through the city. Turns out the character's best friend and first love were also killed in the fires.

This is all well and good, and a wonderful foundation for something special... But what happens next?

This is the first step in creating meaning for your character's existence. And if there's true meaning, there's depth.

But let's look at an example which fails to create meaning or depth as a result of the above premise: The character grows up to become a reserved loner who works as a mercenary.

So now we come to the "why," or the "justification" behind the result. And in this case... It's not pretty.

What about the trauma drove them to be a reserved loner? They obviously had a happy family, friends, and a first love so they know what happiness and being content in life feels like. It's not like they were betrayed by people they trusted. So why the "loner" attitude all of a sudden? What triggered it? Was it the loss of anyone specific like the first love? Maybe the emptiness of that first love triggering a pain so deep they don't ever want to even take the slightest risk of facing it again? Why the life of a mercenary? What does that have to do with coping or moving on from the trauma? Is it meant to do that at all? Do they have a plan to move on from the trauma at all? Is their current lifestyle about atonement, escapism, what?

Why didn't they become something like a diplomat helping to ease tensions between the nobility and lower classes so nobody has to suffer this tragedy again? Why not forego their noble life, sell their estate (or what's left of it), and simply live life as a commoner so nobody has a reason to come after them? Why not take up some form of art doing charity work for the lower classes to help give back to them and prove that the nobility have the commonwealth's interests in mind? Why not use their family's wealth to build a new business hiring only commonwealth citizens to give more of them jobs and help stimulate their local economy?

I could go on and on and on with question after question asking as to the meaning behind the results that are "reserved loner who works as a mercenary" and offering other options for where the character could have ended up. And almost all of the options I can come up with sound more plausible and more realistic than becoming a loner mercenary which doesn't really help the loner mercenary's case at all.

The main point here is this: The more questions I can ask, the less meaning there is.

Meaning, by its very nature, provides answers to questions that people might ask themselves about the character's motivations, history, goals, etc.

For example, let's look at another character which absolutely fulfils the "why" behind the events of their life and where they end up:

They're adopted into a middle-class family in the Capital City of the Kingdom they live in (the Royal Palace is in this city), and the character's hair color is unusual for the region they live in (we'll say blonde). They grow up happy. Lots of friends, family, and a first love. A wealthy "noble" family with matching hair color suddenly discovers them and claims custody just as they're also warring with the Royal Family over the right to rule the Kingdom. As a result of this feud, a civil war breaks out which burns half the city to the ground. As a result of this civil war and the destruction it caused, as well as the infamy of the "noble" family behind it all, the character is ostracized by the entire city and banished forever because of their connection to that family with their hair color being the primary "proof" of wrongdoing by association. The only people who still love them and believe them are their (middle-class) family members who survived, their friends, and their crush. The character and their loved ones move to quieter and less populated city on the outskirts of the Kingdom where the character shaves their head and eyebrows and becomes the leader of a thieves den which prays only on caravans belonging to wealthy or royal sources.

This character, by contrast to the first, has a background where each point serves to justify the point that follows.

Why is the "noble" family trying to gain custody? Because that family also has the same hair color that's unusual for the region they live in so they must be related and custody should go to them.

Why does the civil war break out? This "noble" family believes itself the true rulers and they're now feuding with the Royal Family which causes the divide amongst the people leading to the breakout of said civil war.

What does that civil war lead to? The burning of half the city.

What does the burning of half the city lead to? The city's inhabitants know that this "noble" family with an unnatural hair color is partly responsible for the civil war.

Why does that matter? Because this character shares that hair color and the "noble" family was trying to gain custody, so this character must, by association, share the blame as one of that "noble" family.

Why do the middle-class family, friends, and first love still believe in the character? Because they raised the character and they know who the character is more than those making the accusations.

Why does the group move to a city on the outskirts of the Kingdom? To go to a quieter and less populated location away from the Capital where all the chaos took place.

Why does the character shave their head and eyebrows? To sever their association with the "noble" family responsible for the atrocities at the Capital.

Why do they lead a thieves den that only prays on noble and royal caravans? Because "nobles" and "royals" were the true culprits behind the civil war that got them banished from their home in the Capital, and this is a way to get back at them since they and their wealth can afford to lose a caravan or two every now and then.

-----

When all of the events lead to a conclusion within which you can't really imagine a different outcome because they flow so naturally from one to the next, that's "meaning." The more you can imagine a different outcome (or worse yet, dozens of different outcomes like for the loner mercenary example) the less meaning the character's existence holds.

And the less meaning the character's existence holds, the less depth the character has.

However, it's also important to know that we need to ask the right questions in order to determine if there's meaning. In the case of the middle-class character who shaved their head and eyebrows, the motivations and the "why" behind the noble family's actions really doesn't matter. So asking "why did the noble family feel they were entitled to rule" is irrelevant. It doesn't matter why they did what they did. What matters is that they did it.

So when you ask questions about the character, make sure there's direct relevance to them in the question itself. If the question veers off and asks about things that aren't directly impacting the character, then don't bother with the question anymore.

-----

Hopefully this provided some insight into depth and making people feel human.

Cheers!

BakaTheIdiot BakaTheIdiot
 
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Hi there!

This might sound a bit sarcastic and overly simplistic, but it's the honest truth: What makes a character feel human is having them think and act like one.

What do I mean by that?

Human beings naturally internalize most of our thoughts. So having your character talk at length about what they're feeling is unnatural and very mechanical. For example, if your character loses the love of their life and proceeds to go on a five paragraph exposition dump about the complete history they shared with this love interest, that's not a human way of going about things. That's a very clunky and unnatural dump of information that nobody needs, asked for, or wants.

Instead, just have them react. Because that's what real people do in the heat of the moment. They react.

When the love interest dies, have the character falls to their knees and begin bawling. They pick up the hand of their fallen lover and hold it to their forehead while in their mind they take notice of the fact that these now cold and lifeless fingers are a far cry from the warmth and comfort this same hand and these same fingers used to bring. They pick up the body of their lover and hug it tightly, clinging for dear life as they cannot let go of what once was and will never be again. They stroke their lover's hair asking them to "come back" as if wishing hard enough will make it so. And finally, after minutes of tears and desperate attempts to miraculously open their eyes and see their lover alive and smiling back... Acceptance. They gently set the body down, close their lover's eyes, and bid them farewell while they feel their heart shattering into millions of pieces within their chest.

That is human. To react instead of talk. To emote instead of narrate. And to simply be in the moment when something happens.

Whether it's a tragic, joyous, haunting, or ethereal event, the basic idea is the same. To feel human the character needs to simply react as real humans do. The more the character yaps on and spits out exposition, the less human they feel.

-----

Now, as to the point about adding depth. A lot of people mistake "depth" for content volume, which is absolutely not the case. You could write an entire book on a character and still have them end up about as deep and interesting as a puddle on the sidewalk during a light sprinkle.

True "depth" of character is generated by the meaning behind the life events your character has gone through. It's not the volume or nature of those events. It's the "what's next" and the "why" behind how those events have shaped the character's existence.

For example: Your character is born into a wealthy family. Because the family is wealthy they naturally have enemies who are jealous, bitter, resentful, etc just because they're wealthy and not necessarily for any other reason. Those people take action by burning the family estate to the ground killing the character's family, servants, and several other people who lived nearby when the blaze became uncontrollable and ran amok through the city. Turns out the character's best friend and first love were also killed in the fires.

This is all well and good, and a wonderful foundation for something special... But what happens next?

This is the first step in creating meaning for your character's existence. And if there's true meaning, there's depth.

But let's look at an example which fails to create meaning or depth as a result of the above premise: The character grows up to become a reserved loner who works as a mercenary.

So now we come to the "why," or the "justification" behind the result. And in this case... It's not pretty.

What about the trauma drove them to be a reserved loner? They obviously had a happy family, friends, and a first love so they know what happiness and being content in life feels like. It's not like they were betrayed by people they trusted. So why the "loner" attitude all of a sudden? What triggered it? Was it the loss of anyone specific like the first love? Maybe the emptiness of that first love triggering a pain so deep they don't ever want to even take the slightest risk of facing it again? Why the life of a mercenary? What does that have to do with coping or moving on from the trauma? Is it meant to do that at all? Do they have a plan to move on from the trauma at all? Is their current lifestyle about atonement, escapism, what?

Why didn't they become something like a diplomat helping to ease tensions between the nobility and lower classes so nobody has to suffer this tragedy again? Why not forego their noble life, sell their estate (or what's left of it), and simply live life as a commoner so nobody has a reason to come after them? Why not take up some form of art doing charity work for the lower classes to help give back to them and prove that the nobility have the commonwealth's interests in mind? Why not use their family's wealth to build a new business hiring only commonwealth citizens to give more of them jobs and help stimulate their local economy?

I could go on and on and on with question after question asking as to the meaning behind the results that are "reserved loner who works as a mercenary" and offering other options for where the character could have ended up. And almost all of the options I can come up with sound more plausible and more realistic than becoming a loner mercenary which doesn't really help the loner mercenary's case at all.

The main point here is this: The more questions I can ask, the less meaning there is.

Meaning, by its very nature, provides answers to questions that people might ask themselves about the character's motivations, history, goals, etc.

For example, let's look at another character which absolutely fulfils the "why" behind the events of their life and where they end up:

They're adopted into a middle-class family in the Capital City of the Kingdom they live in (the Royal Palace is in this city), and the character's hair color is unusual for the region they live in (we'll say blonde). They grow up happy. Lots of friends, family, and a first love. A wealthy "noble" family with matching hair color suddenly discovers them and claims custody just as they're also warring with the Royal Family over the right to rule the Kingdom. As a result of this feud, a civil war breaks out which burns half the city to the ground. As a result of this civil war and the destruction it caused, as well as the infamy of the "noble" family behind it all, the character is ostracized by the entire city and banished forever because of their connection to that family with their hair color being the primary "proof" of wrongdoing by association. The only people who still love them and believe them are their (middle-class) family members who survived, their friends, and their crush. The character and their loved ones move to quieter and less populated city on the outskirts of the Kingdom where the character shaves their head and eyebrows and becomes the leader of a thieves den which prays only on caravans belonging to wealthy or royal sources.

This character, by contrast to the first, has a background where each point serves to justify the point that follows.

Why is the "noble" family trying to gain custody? Because that family also has the same hair color that's unusual for the region they live in so they must be related and custody should go to them.

Why does the civil war break out? This "noble" family believes itself the true rulers and they're now feuding with the Royal Family which causes the divide amongst the people leading to the breakout of said civil war.

What does that civil war lead to? The burning of half the city.

What does the burning of half the city lead to? The city's inhabitants know that this "noble" family with an unnatural hair color is partly responsible for the civil war.

Why does that matter? Because this character shares that hair color and the "noble" family was trying to gain custody, so this character must, by association, share the blame as one of that "noble" family.

Why do the middle-class family, friends, and first love still believe in the character? Because they raised the character and they know who the character is more than those making the accusations.

Why does the group move to a city on the outskirts of the Kingdom? To go to a quieter and less populated location away from the Capital where all the chaos took place.

Why does the character shave their head and eyebrows? To sever their association with the "noble" family responsible for the atrocities at the Capital.

Why do they lead a thieves den that only prays on noble and royal caravans? Because "nobles" and "royals" were the true culprits behind the civil war that got them banished from their home in the Capital, and this is a way to get back at them since they and their wealth can afford to lose a caravan or two every now and then.

-----

When all of the events lead to a conclusion within which you can't really imagine a different outcome because they flow so naturally from one to the next, that's "meaning." The more you can imagine a different outcome (or worse yet, dozens of different outcomes like for the loner mercenary example) the less meaning the character's existence holds.

And the less meaning the character's existence holds, the less depth the character has.

However, it's also important to know that we need to ask the right questions in order to determine if there's meaning. In the case of the middle-class character who shaved their head and eyebrows, the motivations and the "why" behind the noble family's actions really doesn't matter. So asking "why did the noble family feel they were entitled to rule" is irrelevant. It doesn't matter why they did what they did. What matters is that they did it.

So when you ask questions about the character, make sure there's direct relevance to them in the question itself. If the question veers off and asks about things that aren't directly impacting the character, then don't bother with the question anymore.

-----

Hopefully this provided some insight into depth and making people feel human.

Cheers!

BakaTheIdiot BakaTheIdiot

thanks so much for this. I'm a natural questioner and I'm gonna revisit my OC's backstory using this method now.
 
For me, I try to keep in mind that my characters don't just live in the roleplay. I don't like the thought of them being born into existence just because of the roleplay alone. That means trying to imagine what life they've had before, what relationship they have with their family (if they're alive that is)... Hell, even giving my characters their own likes and dislikes fleshes them out all the more, in my opinion. I try to think of them not just as characters, but people. They don't exist just to fulfill a purpose in the roleplay, they may have troubles outside of the roleplay's existence and like anyone else, they'll have their own hopes and dreams and fears.

There are many ways of making them feel human, such as giving them their own speech patterns, having personality traits clash (maybe one character is known to be very courageous, except that they're not really and flee at the first sign of trouble; or a character has a strong sense of justice, but because they're scared of speaking up they just stay silent). In order to make characters more human, you have to think like they're human.
 
For me, my characters just... are. They have their own thoughts and feelings and I'm not controlling them! They're doing their own thing! And they aren't just embodying their personality type. A good example of that would be Jet. Jet is one of my characters; protector archetype and INFJ-T. You expect him to be a little gruff and very overprotective, standing solid in his ideals.

That is the exact opposite of Jet.

Jet is soft and careful and actually very well spoken. He snarks at people if they enjoy it, he apologizes if he steps over a boundary and respects that people will do what they want to do and the only thing he can do to keep them safe is walk after them and help them understand what's going on.

Further, you expect him to have quiet hobbies like knitting or something, but he ended up poledancing because for him, releasing stress meant physically demanding exercise, and what better way to do that than to dance?

Jet isn't his personality type, because that's what it is; a personality type. It doesn't embody the entire character, and just treating and developing characters like... y'know, people, makes them seem so much more lifelike.

Hell! One of my characters loves rap and jazz and I hate both! Yet here I am in my writing headspace listening to rap and jazz without problem.
 
I like when the character is super confident something specific is going to happen. The character's beliefs leave no room for doubt. The thing is going to happen. But then the opposite happens. The moment of pure freak out that ensues is one of my favorite things to read. There's nothing more human than being incredibly wrong about something at the worst possible time.
 
One thing that I look for in the charcters is how their personailty affects those around them. I mainly rp as Shadow The Hedgehog and his personality itself reminds me a bit of those who went through tough times. When I rp as a charcter the main personailty thing I keep is pushing themselves beyond their physcial limits just as I always do. I always enjoy the fun of it not caring about the consquences.
The personailty itself has a huge impact on weather or not they feel human even if their not a human.
 

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