Zombocalypse
Quintessential Badboy
What it means to be a man.
(An essay by Zombocalypse)
In the beginning of my childhood at the age of thirteen, I started becoming fascinated with all things masculine. Anything and everything there was about becoming a manly man interested me, from martial arts to driving fast cars. But this didn't really become an obsession of mine until I actually started lifting weights.(An essay by Zombocalypse)
A brief history: When I was seventeen years old, I deadlifted 455 pounds and bench pressed 275. Very impressive for a boy my age. Relatively recently, I squatted 405 pounds, deep, with a pause at the bottom.
I'm no weightlifter, but those numbers require intense training to accomplish. And I am proud of them.
I first started becoming deeply interested in the opposite sex at the age of seventeen. It was in high school that I first fell in love with someone. She was a beautiful woman, with huge boobs and a great personality. But she was a bit of a lost kid. She partied a lot and was generally a troubled girl. But I didn't care. I was smitten.
After realizing that the farthest I've ever gotten and will ever get from her was a mere hug, I was crushed. But the experience opened a whole new world from me. I decided, at that young age, to be a player. I thought that sex and the playboy lifestyle was vital for the true development of any man. Forget the wishy-washy romance. It was all about sex and affections.
With that, I lived a life of hedonism and debauchery, succeeding with my playboy endevours. I felt proud of my lifestyle and held comfort in the fact that I was on my way to manhood.
However, a sudden realization occurred... I thought, why on Earth did Belldandy fall in love with the wimpy, unmanly Keiichi if she could've had any other man? She was a goddess after all and was very beautiful.
I also wondered, despite the fact that Yujiro Hanma and Vegeta were the manliest of all manly anime men, most girls I've been with preferred boyish boytoys instead of manly men. It baffled me. I recounted then, of experiences I've had with some women who chose a wimpy boy instead of an alpha male, like I thought I was.
I had to re-evaluate...
I've always believed that in this world of ours, there are two and only two main forces at play. Black and white. Masculine and feminine. Ferocity and beauty.
On the side of masculinity, we have beer, sex, muscles, violence, and hummers. On the side of femininity, we have love, fine wine, and flowers. I wondered why the flying fuck would women want someone other than a handsome, masculine man? Why the flying fuck did Anri chose Mikado? It made no sense. Until I realized something...
Manhood isn't about violence and muscles, it's about balance. True, men with abs and money are attractive. But there is more to the heart than superficial attractions.
In the world of women, correct me if I'm wrong, but there is a sort of mystery in an emo kid without money. Somehow, unmanly boys could themselves be "manlier" than "manly men" for the simple reason that they have their shit together. They thrive in a world full of aggression despite the fact that they are gentle. I realized then, that manhood and manliness is as much about getting in touch with your feminine side as it is getting hot cars. There is both beauty and strength with that. To be a man, you must also be a woman. Weird but true. Balance is key.
I think the same thing applies to womanhood. Balance is also key. Just look at girls like Erika Karisawa. They're not the most feminine women out there, but they grasp our heart because of their whacky boyish atttitudes.
Fin.
Thanks for reading.