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Other What is the number one reason you stop replying to, or stop participating in roleplays?

AliceNWeb

Deep Breaths
I've noticed there are a LOT of people on this site that tend to drop off roleplays without a word which ends up hurting the GM and the roleplayers trying to establish relationships with other players. So I wanted to just ask out-right, yes real life happens but is there anything in particular that will either make you slowly lose interest or make you immediately say "nope"?

Follow RPN rules, no flaming just discussion and answers.
 

Apiphily

Mia O.C. M.
most of the time if i stop replying to a roleplay/drop it its because i feel as though i was catfished by my partner. i look for literate/advanced rp partners and hold a certain standard- pretentious, i know- but often times i will be promised better than the person can provide, and i dont have time to wade through run-on sentences.

other times i feel that my partner puts no efforts toward actually moving the plot along, or doesn't contribute anything worthwhile in their responses, leaving me to pull all of the emotional labor. it's hard work writing a story with a brick wall!
 

AliceNWeb

Deep Breaths
most of the time if i stop replying to a roleplay/drop it its because i feel as though i was catfished by my partner. i look for literate/advanced rp partners and hold a certain standard- pretentious, i know- but often times i will be promised better than the person can provide, and i dont have time to wade through run-on sentences.

other times i feel that my partner puts no efforts toward actually moving the plot along, or doesn't contribute anything worthwhile in their responses, leaving me to pull all of the emotional labor. it's hard work writing a story with a brick wall!
I can see why that'd make you drop off - and it's totally understandable. Setting an expectation and having another person express that they can live up to them, only to be let down by lack of creativity or short-handed responses would frustrate me as well.

On the other hand do you ever consider maybe pulling back a bit on your expectations and letting the roleplaying relationship grow through trial and error? I think it's important to have at least a bit of compromise with less experienced or perhaps newer acquaintances? Having an expectation is okay but setting that expectation in stone can really limit your interactions with roleplayers. How do you overcome those? What compromises are you willing to make?
 

Apiphily

Mia O.C. M.
I can see why that'd make you drop off - and it's totally understandable. Setting an expectation and having another person express that they can live up to them, only to be let down by lack of creativity or short-handed responses would frustrate me as well.

On the other hand do you ever consider maybe pulling back a bit on your expectations and letting the roleplaying relationship grow through trial and error? I think it's important to have at least a bit of compromise with less experienced or perhaps newer acquaintances? Having an expectation is okay but setting that expectation in stone can really limit your interactions with roleplayers. How do you overcome those? What compromises are you willing to make?
If I really like and vibe with a person / have a feeling they are trying to improve or just generally provide good ideas toward plot, I usually will just wait it out and see if they progress or just deal with it for the sake of they provide me joy. However I'm a fulltime student and employee and have grown to be impatient due to the overwhelming feeling that I Have No Time (tm) and I acknowledge that thats very pressuring and not a super friendly environment.

Now when I search for partners I make a search thread that explains beforehand that I have certain standards. I ask potential partnets to send writing samples that I will accept or decline, that way the ball is in the other person's court. Its admittedly a harsh method but it mostly works. Roleplaying is supposed to be fun and relaxing and I know my methods definitely suck the fun out of it for some people, but I'm just the same; a person who cant find synonyms for the same word suck the fun out of it for me, personally, so I aim to find as good a fit as I can.
 

peritwinkle

🦋 your local Raphael 🦋
The most usual reason is the decrease in my partner's reply quantity and quality. Of course, I roleplay for the story and the characters, but the most fun part of roleplaying for me is the exchange of replies and the tension of wondering what will happen next and how my partner's characters will react to mine. I want to feel like our characters are genuine people, not robots sent out to say a few lines and do a couple of glorious deeds.
 

AliceNWeb

Deep Breaths
The most usual reason is the decrease in my partner's reply quantity and quality. Of course, I roleplay for the story and the characters, but the most fun part of roleplaying for me is the exchange of replies and the tension of wondering what will happen next and how my partner's characters will react to mine. I want to feel like our characters are genuine people, not robots sent out to say a few lines and do a couple of glorious deeds.
Yes! (Really weird you replied right when I was reading the previous post) This! I've found a really passionate GM and I love the way they handle player story interactions. It's been a struggle to find a roleplay partner that'll stick around though. I'd like a genuine experience, and a relationship that grows between roleplayer's characters - it's a natural way to unravel unspecified history/background of the characters; let alone experience the story together.
 

AliceNWeb

Deep Breaths
usually before the RP even starts, when i notice that 90% of the other people that joined the RP are using anime for their character references
anime character references aren't always a sign of poor penmanship (er I guess keyboardship in this case?). Why is that an auto-deterrent for you?
 

Swarx

The Freechoicer
anime character references aren't always a sign of poor penmanship (er I guess keyboardship in this case?). Why is that an auto-deterrent for you?
one time it came as a bit of a surprise, because the RP in question seemed pretty realistic

it was just really weird seeing everyone choose what is essentially a cartoon to represent their character, so it kinda killed it for me

i need to be able to imagine scenes in my head, sorta. it's hard when there isn't a consistent art style among all the characters.
 

AliceNWeb

Deep Breaths
one time it came as a bit of a surprise, because the RP in question seemed pretty realistic

it was just really weird seeing everyone choose what is essentially a cartoon to represent their character, so it kinda killed it for me

i need to be able to imagine scenes in my head, sorta. it's hard when there isn't a consistent art style among all the characters.
I guess that's understandable, I like to imagine scenes as well and it is easier if everyone picks photos or realistic drawings.

But at the same time don't let someone's pick for their character ruin your experience! Sometimes the exaggeration of a style helps demonstrate what the roleplayer had in mind - rather it be a supernatural power, or a personality trait there are many different reasons to choose those kinds of drawings. I find the main reason I ever post an anime picture for my CS is usually due to not being able to find anything else that captures my character's appearance or personality; and I tend to lean on the more realistic side, when I do. But that's just my opinion! :)
 

PotatoPhoenix

秋の風
On the opposite end of the spectrum, I'm actually turned away by people who use realistic faceclaims. Idk why or how to explain it, it just weirds me out.

I tend to want to leave an RP if I feel like our expectations aren't meshing well. Sometimes my RP partners have an entirely different expectation for the direction our RP is going to take, and I might not necessarily like that direction, which makes it hard for me to continue. Sometimes just discussing the future of the RP can help, and sometimes it doesn't, so those are the times I'll want to leave...
 

AliceNWeb

Deep Breaths
On the opposite end of the spectrum, I'm actually turned away by people who use realistic faceclaims. Idk why or how to explain it, it just weirds me out.

I tend to want to leave an RP if I feel like our expectations aren't meshing well. Sometimes my RP partners have an entirely different expectation for the direction our RP is going to take, and I might not necessarily like that direction, which makes it hard for me to continue. Sometimes just discussing the future of the RP can help, and sometimes it doesn't, so those are the times I'll want to leave...
I find it helps talking to the GM and seeing if there's a story arc that would utilize the character you made - from there it's just kind of about learning to take turns and develop relationships for the time being; naturally you'll click with some people but not others - that's normal. Faceclaims are a very small part of the RP if you join just for the faceclaim or leave because of a faceclaim then it shows that you weren't really invested in the story or developing relationships in the first place. Of course I don't believe anyone actually leaves over a faceclaim I think it's more the ability to connect with others in a way that feels natural. If it feels forced I can see how that would drive people away.
 

Miss-Keruberosu

bruh moment
When people have a lack of communication or effort, I cannot tell you how many times I've been ghosted and sugarcoated people who seem to not give A FUCK. If you want, need, or feel something- let me know, don't put it at the last minute and then bitch at me for not asking- it's YOUR responsibility to ask- how am I supposed to know you need something? And effort- while I am the last person who would get on someone's back about this- as I'm usually pretty open- I can't RP with someone who doesn't try- like- i'm okay with small posts but.. you gotta show me that you care or I can't get into it. I can't do everything by myself, either. Help with the plot and other important things.
 

AliceNWeb

Deep Breaths
When people have a lack of communication or effort, I cannot tell you how many times I've been ghosted and sugarcoated people who seem to not give A FUCK. If you want, need, or feel something- let me know, don't put it at the last minute and then bitch at me for not asking- it's YOUR responsibility to ask- how am I supposed to know you need something? And effort- while I am the last person who would get on someone's back about this- as I'm usually pretty open- I can't RP with someone who doesn't try- like- i'm okay with small posts but.. you gotta show me that you care or I can't get into it. I can't do everything by myself, either. Help with the plot and other important things.
That's sort of the reason I started this topic was because there were so many people dropping off without a word or any kind of communication. To figure out reasons why people drop off - help me to get a better understanding of why it happens so much but also offer some advice for people who are frustrated with it happening. Also giving people a place to just express frustration - but also not turning it into a flame fest against the community because I like it here. You're right though there doesn't seem to be much communication - I suppose that's why we only find a couple of people who we really click with. We can't expect everyone - or even most people to be the perfect RP partner.

It takes time to find but it's nice to have perspective.
 

Miss-Keruberosu

bruh moment
That's sort of the reason I started this topic was because there were so many people dropping off without a word or any kind of communication. To figure out reasons why people drop off - help me to get a better understanding of why it happens so much but also offer some advice for people who are frustrated with it happening. Also giving people a place to just express frustration - but also not turning it into a flame fest against the community because I like it here. You're right though there doesn't seem to be much communication - I suppose that's why we only find a couple of people who we really click with. We can't expect everyone - or even most people to be the perfect RP partner.

It takes time to find but it's nice to have perspective.
Yeah, honestly. I didn't mean to seem too aggressive- just being honest, haha. Nobody has a perfect RP partner, but- some just aren't worth the struggle -shrug-
 

AliceNWeb

Deep Breaths
Yeah, honestly. I didn't mean to seem too aggressive- just being honest, haha. Nobody has a perfect RP partner, but- some just aren't worth the struggle -shrug-
You're fine! Perfectly ok to get irritated when people don't communicate. Just keep in mind it's probably nothing personal people just tend to get distracted really easily. I get upset when things I pour hours into turn to dust because no one was invested enough - I've had it happen a couple of times already but every time I have to step back, re-evaluate and remind myself that there is a next time.
 

Miss-Keruberosu

bruh moment
You're fine! Perfectly ok to get irritated when people don't communicate. Just keep in mind it's probably nothing personal people just tend to get distracted really easily. I get upset when things I pour hours into turn to dust because no one was invested enough - I've had it happen a couple of times already but every time I have to step back, re-evaluate and remind myself that there is a next time.
Yeah! I totally relate. EVERYONE has a life outside of RPing, that's perfectly fine just- stay in touch when you can! But- there is always a next time! I've found some great partners on this site so- they make up for the once who didn't really.. try.
 

rae2nerdy

Ultra Nerdy
Well I don’t do groups at all only 1x1 so in my case I look for an ability to mesh well with my partner over anything else.

I will drop a roleplay if the other person doesn’t seem into working with me on plot/setting/etc.

I will also leave if the other person has a personality that doesn’t mesh well with mine. If they are too clingy, too distant, or insistent on adding romance into a roleplay.
 

Jackstack

Junior Member
RPing in general or specific games? For in general, lack of time and other out-of-my-control situations. For a specific game, it depends on which game. Sometimes, I jump the gun on an RP. I'll look at the description and think "Man, there's a lot I can do with that" but once things get started, either the players make it something different from what I imagined, or I actually didn't have any good or expandable ideas. The former has only happened once, the latter is much more often. Rarely do other players drive me away, because I can either work with it or attempt to avoid them, most get the picture pretty soon.
 

PotatoPhoenix

秋の風
I find it helps talking to the GM and seeing if there's a story arc that would utilize the character you made - from there it's just kind of about learning to take turns and develop relationships for the time being; naturally you'll click with some people but not others - that's normal. Faceclaims are a very small part of the RP if you join just for the faceclaim or leave because of a faceclaim then it shows that you weren't really invested in the story or developing relationships in the first place. Of course I don't believe anyone actually leaves over a faceclaim I think it's more the ability to connect with others in a way that feels natural. If it feels forced I can see how that would drive people away.
I do 1x1 RPs and nothing else, so my RP partner and I always talk about our expectations beforehand... but sometimes they just don't mesh together, no matter how hard we try to make things fit. That's the point I'll kinda wanna leave an RP.
As for realistic faceclaims... as much as I don't care for them, obviously I'm up for an RP if it has a really good plot and I don't care if my RP partner uses realistic faceclaims. What matters most is the RP itself. However, if my partner also wants me to use a realistic faceclaim, then I simply won't want to. I dislike using them for my own characters and won't do it. But, again, if my RP partner wants to, I don't care.
 

AliceNWeb

Deep Breaths
I do 1x1 RPs and nothing else, so my RP partner and I always talk about our expectations beforehand... but sometimes they just don't mesh together, no matter how hard we try to make things fit. That's the point I'll kinda wanna leave an RP.
As for realistic faceclaims... as much as I don't care for them, obviously I'm up for an RP if it has a really good plot and I don't care if my RP partner uses realistic faceclaims. What matters most is the RP itself. However, if my partner also wants me to use a realistic faceclaim, then I simply won't want to. I dislike using them for my own characters and won't do it. But, again, if my RP partner wants to, I don't care.
I think the partner search here on RPN is a bit disjointed. Afterall to find an RP partner that is worth while you generally have to at least go through a couple roleplay together or exchange life experience through PM's to some degree. I feel like throwing the bait out and waiting for someone to bite is a poor way to build roleplay relationships. Afterall - we only know each other through as many previous encounters we've had together. I think personal conversation or perhaps exploration of group RP's is far more helpful; generally because there's a lot more one on one talking before you jump into a roleplay. You know what I mean?
 

AliceNWeb

Deep Breaths
RPing in general or specific games? For in general, lack of time and other out-of-my-control situations. For a specific game, it depends on which game. Sometimes, I jump the gun on an RP. I'll look at the description and think "Man, there's a lot I can do with that" but once things get started, either the players make it something different from what I imagined, or I actually didn't have any good or expandable ideas. The former has only happened once, the latter is much more often. Rarely do other players drive me away, because I can either work with it or attempt to avoid them, most get the picture pretty soon.
So your main issue is?
 

PotatoPhoenix

秋の風
I think the partner search here on RPN is a bit disjointed. Afterall to find an RP partner that is worth while you generally have to at least go through a couple roleplay together or exchange life experience through PM's to some degree. I feel like throwing the bait out and waiting for someone to bite is a poor way to build roleplay relationships. Afterall - we only know each other through as many previous encounters we've had together. I think personal conversation or perhaps exploration of group RP's is far more helpful; generally because there's a lot more one on one talking before you jump into a roleplay. You know what I mean?
So are you saying that you need to talk OOC and get to know your RP partner as a person? I'm not the type to do that. It's awesome if you are, I have nothing against that, but for me... All I need to know is their interests and what direction they want the RP to go in. If our likes and dislikes line up, and we have a decent storyline planned out, then we start RPing, and I don't really talk to them about stuff outside the RP unless they want to. (I'm not opposed to small talk at all, I just don't ever initiate it.)
I mean... the worst that can happen is that the RP doesn't turn out how you like, and at that point it's easy to politely tell your partner you've lost interest, then move on. In the best case scenario you'll find a fantastic RP that both of you love a lot.

As for group RPs, I don't do them since they're far too stressful and irritating for me. I've GMed and joined plenty in the past, and no matter which side I'm on (creating an RP or merely participating), I hate keeping up with them. I lack the attention span to read tons of posts that I missed during the day or so I wasn't online to keep up...
Then of course there are those group RPs that die before they can even start, and those are kinda disheartening too. For some reason, I find it less disheartening and easier to move on and find more RPs when I'm doing 1x1s?
 

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