Other What do you value in friendship?

Orilena

12 hr nap twice a day
Im genuinely curious what people look for when making a friend or deciding to be companions with someone! (for me its honesty)
 
Someone who I can depend on, laugh with, relate, and share how affectionate we are toward each other (in a friendly away ofc)
 
Someone I know I can trust. I don't think of myself as a hugely skeptical person, but if I'm making extremely good friends, I try to make sure they're trust-worthy, as well. It saves for a lot of trouble in the future. If I see them acting nasty to someone else publicly, I'll often put them on the "No" list. If I find them to be melodramatic every day of their lives, that's a nope. If I even whiff a hint of manipulative behaviour.... Look at that! Over there! It's me, running five miles away!

Of course there are a lot of other components to making great friends. But this one is the most important. My friends are people I trust. My friends are people I know I can talk to about the things that are on my nerves without being judged for it. My friends are people who I can trust won't stab me in the back. If you don't have some amount of trust and faith in your friendship.. Is it still really a friendship?
 
Open communication and trust. I should be able to talk to my friends about the stuff that I can't talk about with others and vice versa.
 
Someone I know I can trust. I don't think of myself as a hugely skeptical person, but if I'm making extremely good friends, I try to make sure they're trust-worthy, as well. It saves for a lot of trouble in the future. If I see them acting nasty to someone else publicly, I'll often put them on the "No" list. If I find them to be melodramatic every day of their lives, that's a nope. If I even whiff a hint of manipulative behaviour.... Look at that! Over there! It's me, running five miles away!

Of course there are a lot of other components to making great friends. But this one is the most important. My friends are people I trust. My friends are people I know I can talk to about the things that are on my nerves without being judged for it. My friends are people who I can trust won't stab me in the back. If you don't have some amount of trust and faith in your friendship.. Is it still really a friendship?
I think i agree with this one the most...!! And for having these standards I only have 3 close and good friends and im more than happy with that vuv
 
I think i agree with this one the most...!! And for having these standards I only have 3 close and good friends and im more than happy with that vuv
Same here! I would rather have few friends than ones who would eventually betray me and leave me scarred. So what if I'm not the cool kid? We're cool to each OTHER.
 
Trust. If I can't trust you I have no business being around you or letting you in my life. With that said I have three people I can count on and would be there for me through anything as I would be for them. They don't tell me what they think I want to hear at the same time when they give their opinions they're not jerks about it. I feel the word friend is tossed around too easily these days. Anyone can say they are your friend but when you are at your lowest will they honestly be there?
 
I agree, honesty plays a big role when it comes to finding a good friend. Nowadays, I like befriending people who are ambitious and also like to do relaxing activities. I don't really go out and party anymore, so anyone who likes to do stuff inside is fine with me. ^^;

Yay for the power of friendship!
 
I like someone who I click with. We can have our own little party joking around and laughing, but also share those deep and vulnerable conversations at 2 am. Someone who's got my back and will encourage me and support me and be by my side through the good times and bad. And as I get older, I realize I want to be friends with people I want to be like, whether it's their optimism or their faith or their work ethic or just their sense of humor.

Thanks for posting this. It's a good thing to think about (=
 
Well, I for one don't have many (any) friends in the real world (not really able to get out much), but as a human being, there are a few things I'd like to see in a friend. I'd want a friend that was open to all things, as I'd be open to all that they liked to do. A real explorer. Someone who i could laugh with, travel with, and stick with when the going got tough. I'd never turn a back on a friend. If I had one, I'd want us to be dedicated to sticking together through it all. Secretly, though, I'd want my friend to be someone I looked up to. I haven't really had that kind of person in my life.
 
First thing would be: Don't be two faced. if you have a problem with me, be it something I said or something I did, I'd much rather you come to me and actually bring those thoughts to ME, not to one of your other friends. I will never understand people who put on a face for people and act all best buddies when they're there, but then talk shit when they aren't. If you're uncomfortable or upset about something I have done or said, TELL ME. I don't want my friends to feel like they can't be honest with me.
Second thing would be: don't just be mindlessly loyal. If you think I'm in the wrong about something, tell me. if you think I'm right and you agree with me, then defend me, but don't just mindlessly agree with me because you're scared that by having your own opinions I'll be angry at you.
Third thing, and this is a big thing for me: be Trustworthy. If i confide in you with something that is very private to me, or something I'm going through in my life, don't then go and gossip hell. Have the respect for me that you don't feel the need to go spreading shit when there's no need. The only reason I would make exception to this is if what I told you was something that was actively putting me or someone else in danger. Then I wouldn't hold it to you if you told someone, because I get that. When my friends confide their worries or secrets in me, to me, that is such a valuable trust and a clear sign of friendship. I would never dream of violating that trust by talking about it with people. When someone I care about feels comfortable enough in me to come to me with things that they feel like they can't tell anyone else, I treasure that.
 
Honesty is a bog one. But I don't luke people who have to get together/talk all the time to be friends. I am not a huge people person unless I am online. It is weird, but people are stressful. I struggle with talking to people on FB even.
 
Investment and by that I mean coffee once and a while, going out and spending time together getting to know one another. Which sound like "hey isn't that how friendships work" but I've recently had a friend who ended the friendship because we asked her to come out for coffee every once and a while! So I very much value someone who invest in the friendship and cares.
 
Short but simple: Trust, the ability to know we have eachother covered in times of need a dto be there qhen e just need a good laugh.
 
While I do value honesty and loyalty in friendship, experiences I've had in my mouth, as well as behaviors of my own that would make me a hypocrite to demand that, made it so that they aren't the chief concersn for me. Rather, in friendship, I seek that my friends have two things:

1.Understanding: A person doesn't have to agree with everything I do or understand everything I do. In fact, they may protest. But I am a reserved person in real life and a real weird person everywhere. I find it hard for a person who can't get past that to be considered a friend of mine. If I can't trust them to accept me as a person even at surface level, how can I trust them with the deepest parts of my being?

2.Care: A friend of mine has to care for me on some level, even if I'm not exactly high on their priority list. I'll be happy with someone who doesn't entirely dismiss it when/if I suffer, even if the suffering isn't anything grandiose. Furthermore though, a friend has to care about the friendship as well, they have to want to be a friend of mine. I do not hold a grudge when people move on from me though. Even in highschool and late middleschool, I've always been more of a "gatekeeper" between the shier people and a broader world. But that's a story for the curious.
 
Someone who is gentle, kind, humble, non-judgmental, and funny. Aggression and carelessness towards others really sets me off, so having a person who is just gentle and easy is great. I also like being able to express myself without feeling like the other person will think less of me, so the humble and non-judgmental bits are pretty key too.
 

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