Viewpoint What are some things you won't role play?

"build the facts as you go."

Not the point of your post I know but also a hard pass for me. I don't mind making up little things (ex. what how many siblings does my character have, what job do they have, etc.) But I absolutely cannot stand it when there is no groundwork laid out beforehand.

The whole "We made a character and picked a loose plot, okay let's start posting now." Thing gives me such supreme anxiety. I am one of those super nerds that gets bogged down with details. And I feel like if I don't have some ground work to reign me in I basically just spend five hours asking my partner.

Okay but what do you think the salary of a barista would be in this world? I thought about making my character a barista so she could run into your character but then I started worrying she wouldn't be qualified or she wouldn't make enough money to afford her studio apartment (sidebar do they have those in Made Up City X?).

I mean maybe not that nit-picky but you get the idea.
 
I will not support RPing abusive or toxic relationships as the “main appeal.” I’m alright with them being talked about and perhaps even a character overcoming such a relationship, but I heavily dislike the way people tend to enjoy that sort of thing and describe it as a real relationship. It feels disrespectful to survivors of abuse or toxic relationships to take what they went through and RP it out because “it’s fake and fun!”

on the other hand, I understand survivors wanting to work through those types of things with RP. I just don’t think I’ll personally take part in it.
 
I will not support RPing abusive or toxic relationships as the “main appeal.” I’m alright with them being talked about and perhaps even a character overcoming such a relationship, but I heavily dislike the way people tend to enjoy that sort of thing and describe it as a real relationship. It feels disrespectful to survivors of abuse or toxic relationships to take what they went through and RP it out because “it’s fake and fun!”

on the other hand, I understand survivors wanting to work through those types of things with RP. I just don’t think I’ll personally take part in it.
This is how I feel about the twilight series. Also, fifty shades of grey? There is a difference between glorifying an abusive relationship and using it to tell a story. I mean, the abuser wins in both saga's. It's just chilling. Especially the Twilight series pruning young girls into believing the bad boy persona is an ideal. Like, your boyfriend is cold and callus and wants to eat you? No. I mean, how is it any different then the series "You"? I mean..It should always be creepy when a stranger watches you sleep. I feel you on this one.

To add, the only toxic relationship I've actually enjoyed reading/watching. Wuthering Heights. Because the way the two treated each other bit each other in the ass. *shrugs*

Unless it plays a purpose and the abuse has an end. I just see no point.
 
This is how I feel about the twilight series. Also, fifty shades of grey? There is a difference between glorifying an abusive relationship and using it to tell a story. I mean, the abuser wins in both saga's. It's just chilling. Especially the Twilight series pruning young girls into believing the bad boy persona is an ideal. Like, your boyfriend is cold and callus and wants to eat you? No. I mean, how is it any different then the series "You"? I mean..It should always be creepy when a stranger watches you sleep. I feel you on this one.

To add, the only toxic relationship I've actually enjoyed reading/watching. Wuthering Heights. Because the way the two treated each other bit each other in the ass. *shrugs*

Unless it plays a purpose and the abuse has an end. I just see no point.

To be fair according to my sister lots of people super miss the point of You as well. I think a lot of the issue [with Twilight/Fifty] is that they have a very surface read that reinforces a less outwardly abusive but no less damaging message. Having a hot/rich boyfriend makes you special. It's like the modern version of "You want to be a Princess right? Well here's your Prince." It basically tells women their self-worth should be reinforced by the relative social status of whoever they end up marrying.

I mean it's not quite as overt as "so you wanna be a princess?" but it's the same basic message. If you are shy or nerdy or awkward or don't like yourself, it's okay. Having a male love interest in a position of social success will make all those feelings go away.

Althought to throw Fifty Shades a bone, it also got people to explore aspects of their sexuality and hopefully talk to people who are in the actual kink community. Who could teach them some much healthier relationship dynamics.
 
M Mesenterium
I would of quoted but there was a lot there =) It's nice to see someone give so much feed back to responses.Help's a conversation get started =D I hope you were not reading into it that I don't believe toxic relationships have their place in creativity.

They do.

What I am saying, is that I don't glorify these themes. I don't feel right being like " Mr Grey whipped his wife with a two inch stick until she had welts and bruises on her pregnant body.She leaves him because the abuse is too much." Next book. Oh "He convinced me back with his sultry ways. I love being beaten! Let's have a baby and family!" Or, twilight, "He wants to eat me but he's so fucking hot. I mean he watch's me sleep nothing creepy about that." lmao I mean, I say this in jest but it's what makes me cringe.

Where Lolita and Wuthering Heights. They challenge the core of your ethical beliefs and thus serves a point to story. I was obsessed with Wuthering Heights from a very young age. My mother is a history and literature major. She was also a professor and librarian. I grew up with these stories. I mean, I think I was exposed to some serious literature before I was even twelve. I absolutely adored their torment. I did not enjoy their love. I remember that very clearly. Even as a child I was like, this is wrong, I do not love this story because they love each other. I adore them because they detest each other.

Perhaps my passion of not glorifying troubled or toxic relationships is I had to watch one unfold for entirety of my life. Parents only divorced when the kids grew up.

I LOVE writing deep and dark people. My preferred genre is actually erotic horror. It just has it's place. =)

I'm like a hundred and ten percent certain we are both on the exact same page tho. If you are looking for someone to explore uncomfortable theme's in a mature fashion. Like, to enhance your literature experience feel free to inbox me. Although, this site has it's rules and regulations for a reason. It's a delicate balance. I've taught a few others the art of erotic horror. They were tip toeing on it too but really enjoy it now.

Swear I'm not a creep. Just a woman in her thirties that's had an ecclectic up bringing when it comes to literature and art lol My father was also a professor.


PS: Not sure if you would be into it but did you ever read Emma? Jane Austen? I feel like you would really like this. Very flawed character, very toxic relationship but a very happy ending. =)
 
To be fair according to my sister lots of people super miss the point of You as well. I think a lot of the issue [with Twilight/Fifty] is that they have a very surface read that reinforces a less outwardly abusive but no less damaging message. Having a hot/rich boyfriend makes you special. It's like the modern version of "You want to be a Princess right? Well here's your Prince." It basically tells women their self-worth should be reinforced by the relative social status of whoever they end up marrying.

I mean it's not quite as overt as "so you wanna be a princess?" but it's the same basic message. If you are shy or nerdy or awkward or don't like yourself, it's okay. Having a male love interest in a position of social success will make all those feelings go away.

Althought to throw Fifty Shades a bone, it also got people to explore aspects of their sexuality and hopefully talk to people who are in the actual kink community. Who could teach them some much healthier relationship dynamics.

Eh, its a poorly laid out erotica. I mean, in fairness you do make some good points. However, its a sorry laid out works of a amateur writer and her first erotic work. Granted great for her making success and all but some of the wording is awkward and rough to read. When something is erotic I mean.. I feel like it shouldn't cross into the realm of reality. This slinks into the realm of reality that is scary. The same as twilight. I mean when you pick up an erotic book you KNOW you are getting into hot and steamy. Like you know what you are getting into. Like for instance the horrors of Ann Rice's Sleeping Beauty trilogy. Fifty shades of grey is normalized awkward erotica.

I don't know if it got people exploring sexuality as much as questioning what sexuality is. Maybe what healthy sexuality is.
 
I don't do furry RPs, just not my tea and kind of makes my skin crawl. Idk really WHY though since I like movies like Balto and Lion King and such, never have an issue. Still trying to figure out what about it makes me uncomfortable 😂

I also don't like fandoms very much. I know that'll be a very unpopular opinion on this site but I just don't want to use someone else's whole idea for a universe, story and characters. It's not fun to me, I like creating my own material. Even if I use other plots from shows as inspiration I don't use the same characters or same environment or same story. But I'm trying to branch out and try it, haven't found one yet I'm really into.

I absolutely do not do pairings where theres a very realistic power dynamic, for example: Teacher x Student. That's just a personal trigger for me and I think its dumb...
 
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Eh, its a poorly laid out erotica. I mean, in fairness you do make some good points. However, its a sorry laid out works of a amateur writer and her first erotic work. Granted great for her making success and all but some of the wording is awkward and rough to read. When something is erotic I mean.. I feel like it shouldn't cross into the realm of reality. This slinks into the realm of reality that is scary. The same as twilight. I mean when you pick up an erotic book you KNOW you are getting into hot and steamy. Like you know what you are getting into. Like for instance the horrors of Ann Rice's Sleeping Beauty trilogy. Fifty shades of grey is normalized awkward erotica.

I don't know if it got people exploring sexuality as much as questioning what sexuality is. Maybe what healthy sexuality is.

I think that’s kind of the book snob in some of us talking though. The people who read Fifty fall into two camps

- the people who hate read it for their job or entertainment

- the people who don’t know what erotica is being curious about a “naughty” book.

So yeah I have read better erotica. both published and written by horny fangirls.

But I am a reader by nature and by the time it came out was able to read critically. Which most people just flat out don’t do.

I think it’s why Fifty does deserve some credit. Cuz it introduced people to a genre filled with much better written books. And for that matter sexual acts that they can explore without feeling “dirty”.

You actually see that shift in the difference between how Fifty was received versus how the Christian books and her Mister book we’re recieved. The readers are holding her to a higher standard of writing.

Not all of them maybe but still some. And that’s the section I was talking about, the people that used Fifty to broader their horizons.
 
I think that’s kind of the book snob in some of us talking though. The people who read Fifty fall into two camps

- the people who hate read it for their job or entertainment

- the people who don’t know what erotica is being curious about a “naughty” book.

So yeah I have read better erotica. both published and written by horny fangirls.

But I am a reader by nature and by the time it came out was able to read critically. Which most people just flat out don’t do.

I think it’s why Fifty does deserve some credit. Cuz it introduced people to a genre filled with much better written books. And for that matter sexual acts that they can explore without feeling “dirty”.

You actually see that shift in the difference between how Fifty was received versus how the Christian books and her Mister book we’re recieved. The readers are holding her to a higher standard of writing.

Not all of them maybe but still some. And that’s the section I was talking about, the people that used Fifty to broader their horizons.
I suppose I don't find it sexually appealing to read those books. They don't arouse me and so I don't equate them to good erotica. By arousing mean they don't stimulate any sense of intellectual or erotic stimulation. I just don't find it erotic or sexy or intellectual. I can agree to disagree and I will never give this book credit. I've been a victim to sexual violence. Added, during some of the most horrific things I've experienced I didn't even understand it was abuse. I then went to school in psychology and sociology. I will never stop explaining the difference between abuse and erotica. It took me a long time to get over my own nightmares. I enjoy the structured black and white rules of erotica. The abuse I endured that was skewed with love left me with countless disorders and an inability to trust others. Not just a personality trait. An almost inability. I had to work ten years at reconstructing my brain into healthy thinking.

I just don't find its sexy to bring abuse into a romantic relationship. Although, that isn't always for everyone. The beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We often run into this same debate in many threads rae and I always value your difference in opinion but I just cant honor it. However, you make some interesting counter arguments as always. =)
 
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Or maybe questioning all their life choices so far that ultimately led to them reading that trash.
xD We all have to start somewhere. I'm a bit of a literature snob but its refreshing to see someone agree its trash. By the middle of the book I was questioning my life's decisions as well. I couldn't get into the caning. *cringe face* I can not imagine doing that to someone I love. If anyone is needing a pick me up after reading that garbage watch gilbert godfrey reading fifty shades of grey. You'll feel a bit revived.
 
xD We all have to start somewhere. I'm a bit of a literature snob but its refreshing to see someone agree its trash. By the middle of the book I was questioning my life's decisions as well. I couldn't get into the caning. *cringe face* I can not imagine doing that to someone I love. If anyone is needing a pick me up after reading that garbage watch gilbert godfrey reading fifty shades of grey. You'll feel a bit revived.

As I was working in a library when it came out, I was compelled to read some of it to see why it was so popular.

I want those minutes of my life back.

I also read Twilight for the same reason and I didn't think it was terrible. Not up my personal alley but not as bad as I thought it would be.
 
I suppose I don't find it sexually appealing to read those books. They don't arouse me and so I don't equate them to good erotica. By arousing mean they don't stimulate any sense of intellectual or erotic stimulation. I just don't find it erotic or sexy or intellectual. I can agree to disagree and I will never give this book credit. I've been a victim to sexual violence. Added, during some of the most horrific things I've experienced I didn't even understand it was abuse. I then went to school in psychology and sociology. I will never stop explaining the difference between abuse and erotica. It took me a long time to get over my own nightmares. I enjoy the structured black and white rules of erotica. The abuse I endured that was skewed with love left me with countless disorders and an inability to trust others. Not just a personality trait. An almost inability. I had to work ten years at reconstructing my brain into healthy thinking.

I just don't find its sexy to bring abuse into a romantic relationship. Although, that isn't always for everyone. The beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We often run into this same debate in many threads rae and I always value your difference in opinion but I just cant honor it. However, you make some interesting counter arguments as always. =)

You misunderstood my point. I wasn’t saying this isn’t abuse. My point was more from the librarian perspective of genre.

From a genre perspective Fifty Shades is erotica, and it is the first example of the genre that most of the audience has read. That said the genre is filled with a sliding scale of quality in writing.

Much likes it’s less “naughty” cousin erotica runs the gamut when it comes to portraying relationships. Some are fairly respectful, others are pretty much just kinks.

But there is definately a stigma surrounding reading porn, especially for older women which was the target demographic of Fifty Shades. She basically hit the Twilight Moms demographic. People who might read romance books but would feel ashamed to read porn. Or potentially didn’t even know porn existed in the form of erotica.

That is the credit I give Fifty Shades. It’s not by any measure a good series itself. It’s pretty much garbage by every metric you can name. But it at least made it socially acceptable for women to read porn and to be comfortable exploring aspects of their sexuality (by means of sex toys or kink exploration). That’s the only compliment I’ll give it.

And it has nothing to do with the content and everything to do with sheer popularity of the books.

Now the fact that the series of erotic novels that made porn acceptable for women depict blatant sexual abuse is of course problematic. But that’s a whole other thread that tackles the problems with how we frame romance in general.
 
You misunderstood my point. I wasn’t saying this isn’t abuse. My point was more from the librarian perspective of genre.

From a genre perspective Fifty Shades is erotica, and it is the first example of the genre that most of the audience has read. That said the genre is filled with a sliding scale of quality in writing.

Much likes it’s less “naughty” cousin erotica runs the gamut when it comes to portraying relationships. Some are fairly respectful, others are pretty much just kinks.

But there is definately a stigma surrounding reading porn, especially for older women which was the target demographic of Fifty Shades. She basically hit the Twilight Moms demographic. People who might read romance books but would feel ashamed to read porn. Or potentially didn’t even know porn existed in the form of erotica.

That is the credit I give Fifty Shades. It’s not by any measure a good series itself. It’s pretty much garbage by every metric you can name. But it at least made it socially acceptable for women to read porn and to be comfortable exploring aspects of their sexuality (by means of sex toys or kink exploration). That’s the only compliment I’ll give it.

And it has nothing to do with the content and everything to do with sheer popularity of the books.

Now the fact that the series of erotic novels that made porn acceptable for women depict blatant sexual abuse is of course problematic. But that’s a whole other thread that tackles the problems with how we frame romance in general.

Didn't the older women in your library read Harlequin (Mills & Boon) romances? We had users who would literally borrow their max number of books in Mills & Boon every week, and some of those are pretty damn steamy let me tell ya.

For those who aren't aware of this genre - Mills & Boon or Harlequin in the US publish a huge, HUGE, number of "romance" novellas ranging from the sweet innocent, virginal, kissing only type to full on porn, in dozens of weirdly specific sub-genres, and they are read and enjoyed by 50+ ladies everywhere. Even though these books are not, by any stretch of the imagination, well-written and are extremely formulaic, they are none the less, each one, a squillion times better than 50 Shades of Grey.

I mean sure... let them explore their sexuality but 50 Shades isn't exactly a decent model to go by.

Aaand that's probably enough on the 50 Shades question in this thread, feel free to PM me if you want to continue it. XD
 
abusive relationship dynamics. active rape and sexual assault scenes. characters being choked (...ain't nobody better touch my character's neck except to kiss or bite it or i'll fuck a person up in the spirit of redeeming my own childhood trauma). anything BDSM, probably. furries. 10+ year age gaps. historic plots? ehhh idk. teenage relationships (i'll play high school and teenage characters but not with any sexual or romantic themes unless both of the characters are at least 18 and so is my partner). animal torture. ~aaaaand nothing against gay men seeing as i'm hella queer myself, but m// with main characters. i used to only RP m// before i got into f// because that's all my ex ever wanted to write, so it's just kind of dull for me now.
 
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Didn't the older women in your library read Harlequin (Mills & Boon) romances? We had users who would literally borrow their max number of books in Mills & Boon every week, and some of those are pretty damn steamy let me tell ya.

For those who aren't aware of this genre - Mills & Boon or Harlequin in the US publish a huge, HUGE, number of "romance" novellas ranging from the sweet innocent, virginal, kissing only type to full on porn, in dozens of weirdly specific sub-genres, and they are read and enjoyed by 50+ ladies everywhere. Even though these books are not, by any stretch of the imagination, well-written and are extremely formulaic, they are none the less, each one, a squillion times better than 50 Shades of Grey.

I mean sure... let them explore their sexuality but 50 Shades isn't exactly a decent model to go by.

Aaand that's probably enough on the 50 Shades question in this thread, feel free to PM me if you want to continue it. XD

Thank you =) I agree moving on from this subject it's a hamster wheel of opinions lol
 
Something I’ve noticed ever since the beginning of my rp hobby way back on Old Neopets, I was baffled by the “I’m a female so I only play female and only do FxM.” Like, no hate, you have a preference and that’s totally cool. I just never understood how anyone found any partners because I’d see that same line in just about every “rp rules” per page I looked up. I was so desperate for RP at the time that I did play a male ALL the time, but now I’m at the stage where I’ve been doing that for so long , I feel like screaming “Me! I wanna be the girl, now!”

But, eh, you do what you gotta do for those good good plots.
 
Something I’ve noticed ever since the beginning of my rp hobby way back on Old Neopets, I was baffled by the “I’m a female so I only play female and only do FxM.” Like, no hate, you have a preference and that’s totally cool. I just never understood how anyone found any partners because I’d see that same line in just about every “rp rules” per page I looked up. I was so desperate for RP at the time that I did play a male ALL the time, but now I’m at the stage where I’ve been doing that for so long , I feel like screaming “Me! I wanna be the girl, now!”

But, eh, you do what you gotta do for those good good plots.

I prefer playing male characters, but there's something a bit off-putting about partners who only play one gender. It would have to be something really special for me to reply to one of those.

In the olden days there was a very different gender ratio on RP sites, like at least 60% males to females. I'm glad there are more women enjoying RP these days.
 
Just remembered of something XD
I also don't roleplay fandoms. Not that I don't think that fandom roleplays are bad, on the contrary! But it bothers me the fact that my writing won't possibly represent ideally cannon characters. I feel like I am being fake, you see? Definitely something that I can't do.
Sometimes I can roleplay in an already existing universe, from a certain story (being it films, series, books, etc.), but only if the contact with cannon characters is minimised and if I don't have to play them.

Oh, I remember feeling this way when I first started role playing. I began when Lord of the Rings rps were a BIG thing on Neopets, and the easiest way to get into one and not be ignored was to play Aragorn or Legolas. Also, finally being told “wow, you play a really good BLANK” was super motivating to me because I craved (and still do to some degree) that sweet, sweet validation from strangers.

Nowadays, I still like to write canons because I see it as a fun challenge. I also really enjoy just making people happy, and writing their favorite ship is like crack for some people. I’m happy to provide, because I feel it keeps my skills sharp.

I can totally understand why some people don’t want to, however. On the flip side of that coin is “my rp partner was really looking forward to this and I don’t feel like I’m doing this character justice, so now I feel horrible”. So, no shame for not wanting to write ‘em. I get it.
 
I prefer playing male characters, but there's something a bit off-putting about partners who only play one gender. It would have to be something really special for me to reply to one of those.

In the olden days there was a very different gender ratio on RP sites, like at least 60% males to females. I'm glad there are more women enjoying RP these days.
I prefer playing male characters, but there's something a bit off-putting about partners who only play one gender. It would have to be something really special for me to reply to one of those.

In the olden days there was a very different gender ratio on RP sites, like at least 60% males to females. I'm glad there are more women enjoying RP these days.

I never really noticed that, because I started on Neopets (which had a heavy female rp base at the time), and from there I went automatically into one on ones or single fandom forums (in my experience also predominantly female). This is actually the first multi-genre, multi-fandom site I’ve been on, and I’m pleasantly surprised by the diversity.
 
I never really noticed that, because I started on Neopets (which had a heavy female rp base at the time), and from there I went automatically into one on ones or single fandom forums (in my experience also predominantly female). This is actually the first multi-genre, multi-fandom site I’ve been on, and I’m pleasantly surprised by the diversity.

Yeah I've not been in single fandom spaces for RP that much. On one fandom forum I RPed on, it was about 70/30 males to females. On another we had 90/10 females to males. (There was just one guy there. XD) Mostly I've been in mixed RP spaces, and some where if you played a female character (whether you were female or not) you got constantly hit on by guys, so I don't see it as odd that female RPers would gravitate towards 1x1s where you aren't harassed all the time and can RP in peace.
 
Romance solely for the romance. Don't get me wrong, I love a good love story, but I'm not going to start up a roleplay knowing it'll only end with the characters inevitably "falling in love" and wherever that leads. Sometimes it's nicer to have characters that don't get along or characters that are strictly platonic.
And it gives me omegle flashbacks when someone offers to roleplay with me but immediately says "I will only play male/female"
 
Romance solely for the romance. Don't get me wrong, I love a good love story, but I'm not going to start up a roleplay knowing it'll only end with the characters inevitably "falling in love" and wherever that leads. Sometimes it's nicer to have characters that don't get along or characters that are strictly platonic.
And it gives me omegle flashbacks when someone offers to roleplay with me but immediately says "I will only play male/female"

I love romance, but platonic stores don't get nearly enough love. One of my ALL-TIME favorite rps was between my character (a priestess) and my friend's character (an ancient necromancer). She spent the entire rp trying to "show him the light", and though he never changed his ways, he did come to see her as someone he'd die to protect which was a much more satisfying conclusion than ANY confession of love has ever been in an rp for me.
 
Peryton Peryton My longest lasting roleplay was a lot like that, and while the characters ended up testing their love for each other because of the difficult times that they experienced together, in the end, they realized they were incompatible with being anything more than friends and simply just people that experienced the same coincidental hardship at the same time. It's so much more realistic to have relationships be fluid and flexible, and I don't want to stick my characters in a box with yours and say "they will/won't like each other because I said so" and I much prefer to let the characters unravel on their own. Not every character will like my character, and I love that because that's how complex relationships truly are.
 
Peryton Peryton My longest lasting roleplay was a lot like that, and while the characters ended up testing their love for each other because of the difficult times that they experienced together. In the end, they realized they were incompatible with anything more than friends and simply just people that experienced the same coincidental hardship at the same time. It's so much more realistic to have relationships be fluid and flexible, and I don't want to stick my characters in a box with yours and say "they will/won't like each other because I said so" and I much prefer to let the characters unravel on their own. Not every character will like my character, and I love that because that's how complex relationships truly are.

Yes! I always prefer when we let romances play out naturally. If there's chemistry between two people, pursue it! If not, then being friends is definitely not the worst case scenario.
 

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