Experiences What are some red flags in rp ads/requests? Why do they turn you off?

[Walliver]

on the opposite extreme from incredibly/excessively coded posts-

Posts where it’s just a massive wall of text. Like, that’s 10 paragraphs at a college reading level. It makes my brain hurt so much and what could have been an interesting concept immediately makes me want to puke.

 

[Arnalia]

For group rp :
- When a GM post multiple ad, all the time. This make me suspicious as if they are forced to post ad after ad to the point that I see their profile picture all the time on the group research thread, then it mean none of their previous rp got off the ground or they fizzle out very fast. And if it's not those reasons and they are active I'm still wary as this give the impression that with so many rp they are bound to be less active and present for some. Either way that make it look like they are not very good at this if they need to count on quantity.

- No rules or very few rules. I saw many ad where there was nothing about post length, posting frequency, what kind of setting it was and so on. If I have to ask pretty basic questions to be sure I'm interested that's generally a sign that the poster didn't really think about how they would handle the rp. And those rp tend to fizzle out fast.

- When the person doesn't post a true ad but rather a sketch of an idea and expect the players to fill the gap. Now this is different from sandbox worldbuilding one as in those nothing is set and it's the player with the GM that build the world up. Plus it's explicit and said in the ad. What I'm talking about is when someone clearly has a defined idea of what they want but couldn't be bothered to expand on it. So they just post those disjointed and half baked thing. This doesn't make me want to join at all.

 

[ForgetTomorroow]

I love romance, both cliche and cheesy, but canon x characters I agree with the majority present in this thread. It becomes less about a partnership and more about fulfilling someone’s desire — equal collaboration doesn’t exist here and somewhat limiting. When ascribing romantic notions, there is a specific way the “character” author wants the canon to act in response to their character. Of course, it bears repeating not everyone is like this, but a good few in my own personal years didn’t like my interpretations & which led to friction within the rp soon enough.

 

[nerdy tangents]

ForgetTomorroow you hit the nail on the head. It boils down to what I call backseat roleplaying.

It’s a red flag in and of itself it just most commonly pops up in Canon x OC roleplays.

When someone essentially tells me how I have to write my own character. Especially when they tell me how my character has to feel about theirs.

Now some vague prompting for the plot is fine. Ex. Canon has an unrequited crush on OC. They eventually get together.

Okay that’s fine, there is plenty of room for interpretation and characterization.

If it’s “Canon has always thought that OC is the most beautiful person and has had a secret crush on them for five years. But OC doesn’t notice because they have poor self esteem.” No I am not co-writing your fanfic.

 

[Lunabelle]

My personal red flags are Yandere tropes, Killer/Stalker x Victim pairings, or Stockholm syndrome type of plots. It’s just not my type of fun. I’m all for turbulent relationships, drama, and angst, but I don’t write or have any desire to role-play abuse in any type of relationship. It just crosses one too many lines for me.

 

[Jannah]

My personal red flags are Yandere tropes, Killer/Stalker x Victim pairings, or Stockholm syndrome type of plots. It’s just not my type of fun. I’m all for turbulent relationships, drama, and angst, but I don’t write or have any desire to role-play abuse in any type of relationship. It just crosses one too many lines for me.

While fine with those type of stories myself I won't write them with just anyone. I'd like to see stalking and abuse not be romanticized.

 

[Lunabelle]

While fine with those type of stories myself I won't write them with just anyone. I'd like to see stalking and abuse not be romanticized.

I think it’s totally valid to want to explore dark topics. I think that might be one of my main problems with it as well. Things like mental illness or abuse shouldn’t be romanticized. It’s the evangelization of killers and stalkers that mostly bother me.

 

[princessxsugarcookie]

Any time the pairing “professor x student” is listed.

Yes x10000000

As a teacher, this honestly creeps/grosses me out and I don’t want to even attempt any kind of interaction with them. I always try and look at profiles/thread of those who message me just to see if anything like that is listed for them.

 

[nerdy tangents]

Yes x10000000

As a teacher, this honestly creeps/grosses me out and I don’t want to even attempt any kind of interaction with them. I always try and look at profiles/thread of those who message me just to see if anything like that is listed for them.

It’s even grosser when they try to be like “oh I meant in college so they’re both adults”. Like a.) you don’t get a cookie for not including pedophilia in your roleplay. b.) it’s still a power imbalance relationship.

 

[Pretty Little Creature]

Im just going to post again. Heavy expectations are a red flag. I get wanting details but im a working human being with responsibilities. I role play as hobby. If you want more expect to pay me lol. Ive got in real life family that rely on me being present. I dunno it sort of rubs me the wrong way.

 

[Steve Jobs]

So in my mind, red flags are signs that something will end badly or that the person behind this request is not going to be a good fit for you. It isn't about the request/content not being my cup of idea.

A few off the top of my head:

-Just like constantly talking about exes, I find that whining about people you've roleplayed with in the past or complaining about RPs constantly dying makes me wonder about the requester. Like if it's constantly happening to you, then there is a common factor here.

-Similarly, someone complaining about how long it takes for a person to reply. I know desired reply frequency varies from person to person but it reeks of desperation (and not having a life outside of RPing).

-When the poster veeeery clearly has a chip on their shoulder about a particular category/type of character/etc.

-Referring to themselves as their character (and me as mine). This is more of a yellow flag than red, but when I'm in a 1x1 (esp romantic), it sorts to feel like they're blurring the line between character and player.

-Not something you can always find in thread but if I see a GM who has a ton of RPs going with very few posts in each of them (either in IC or OOC), I get wary of how committed they will be.

-If someone's list of things they will not do/pet peeves (triggers not withstanding) is longer than their list wants. It's good to be clear about what you are looking for but I don't want to navigate a minefield just to plot.

-Saying they're "up for anything/will roleplay anything" without proposing anything. It gives me the impression that I'll have to do the heavy lifting, plot wise

-A few people have written about it here so I'll say it plainly: fujoshi.

-When a group request thread is of a person looking for a group rather than presenting an idea for other people to join in on.

 

[macheath .]

people who primarily create east asian ocs for disturbing aesthetics which exclusively turns into fully whitewashed ocs with the fetishised looks but not the cultural mindset and background. as someone black and east asian, i will avoid you like the goddamn plague if you’re that type of writer. could be applied to any race, you all get the drift.

 

[nerdy tangents]

people who primarily create east asian ocs for disturbing aesthetics which exclusively turns into fully whitewashed ocs with the fetishised looks but not the cultural mindset and background. as someone black and east asian, i will avoid you like the goddamn plague if you’re that type of writer. could be applied to any race, you all get the drift.

it drives me nuts cuz there is such an easy way to do this, make the character immigrants to some western country where they chose to out whitebread all their whitebread neighbors to fit in.

I mean it’s maybe a little cliche but it’s at least realistic. It doesn’t force the player to learn anything about a different culture. But it does force them to think about the character as a living person and not an attractive object which is the root of the problem.

So yeah if I think the whole roleplay is then just getting off on their characters picture that’s gonna be a hard pass for me.

 

[Onmyoji]

When I see searches that go like "I'm bored" or "It's 4 am and I decided to look for rp"... Makes me wonder if the person wouldn't just leave the rp when they're 'not bored' or actually have a good sleep because the condition under which they were searching for partners will be gone.

 

[macheath .]

it drives me nuts cuz there is such an easy way to do this, make the character immigrants to some western country where they chose to out whitebread all their whitebread neighbors to fit in.

I mean it’s maybe a little cliche but it’s at least realistic. It doesn’t force the player to learn anything about a different culture. But it does force them to think about the character as a living person and not an attractive object which is the root of the problem.

So yeah if I think the whole roleplay is then just getting off on their characters picture that’s gonna be a hard pass for me.

here’s my question though, why even bother to make an oc with a different race/ethnicity than your own if you’re not actually interested in that particular race/ethnicity? it gives me forced “diversity!!” vibes. i agree with your point though.

i have an oc who grew up in the foster care system in a predominantly white town, and it resulted in them not being all that connected with their own ethnicity, etc. but even so, that particular disconnect is mentioned because it does matter. racial alienation still affects them, just like the desire to actually connect with their ethnic/racial background.

not saying that this is a must for every non white oc, context and circumstances matter, but to completely ignore the struggles and challenges that come along with being non white, practically whitewashing your oc, it’s just plain ignorant. again, completely agreeing with you. i just felt like adding something to my first post!!

 

[A Sparkling Zombie]

here’s my question though, why even bother to make an oc with a different race/ethnicity than your own if you’re not actually interested in that particular race/ethnicity? it gives me forced “diversity!!” vibes. i agree with your point though.

Outside of the cringe fetishization, couldn't their playing an FC of the race usually suggest that they have an interest in the race?

Personally, I feel like culture can be a little complex. It takes a lot of research and ideally talking to someone of the culture, especially if a lot of members of a site seem pretty critical of accurate representations. Maybe some people need that first step to get comfortable before they can go deeper into the identity? Not gonna be true for everyone, but maybe for some.

And posing the question honestly, does every minority character need to acknowledge the struggles and challenges of that group? I play gay characters, and I realize that's a little different from race, but I don't always want to acknowledge that homphobia exists while actively writing for such a character.

 

[nerdy tangents]

here’s my question though, why even bother to make an oc with a different race/ethnicity than your own if you’re not actually interested in that particular race/ethnicity? it gives me forced “diversity!!” vibes. i agree with your point though.

i have an oc who grew up in the foster care system in a predominantly white town, and it resulted in them not being all that connected with their own ethnicity, etc. but even so, that particular disconnect is mentioned because it does matter. racial alienation still affects them, just like the desire to actually connect with their ethnic/racial background.

not saying that this is a must for every non white oc, context and circumstances matter, but to completely ignore the struggles and challenges that come along with being non white, practically whitewashing your oc, it’s just plain ignorant. again, completely agreeing with you. i just felt like adding something to my first post!!

I think we’re just defining the term whitewash differently. To me it means someone who is assimilating into a white culture.

I grew up in a predominately white small town (literally the entire Hispanic population was me, my mom, and my sister). But I am a third generation immigrant, I have no connection to my racial background because my mom has no knowledge of her own racial background. The reason for that is because my grandmother and great grandparents came over during the Great Depression and went hard on the assimilation front.

So like my grandmother knows Spanish and bits about Spanish heritage due to where, when, and with whom she grew up. But my mom has no such knowledge because my grandmother actively refused to teach her. And so I have no knowledge because my mom had none to pass down.

Thus if we are going based on my mother and myself yeah you can have a racial identity without any cultural context for very deliberate reasons.

And it’s the “deliberate reasons” part that is important. You can absolutely write a non-white character in which their skin color and culture are not relevant to their particular story. You just have to give them a backstory where that was a choice they (or their ancestors) deliberately made.

So it’s acknowledging “yeah I’m not white but the reason I assimilated into white culture is X.” And just move from there.

 

[nerdy tangents]

Outside of the cringe fetishization, couldn't their playing an FC of the race usually suggest that they have an interest in the race?

Personally, I feel like culture can be a little complex. It takes a lot of research and ideally talking to someone of the culture, especially if a lot of members of a site seem pretty critical of accurate representations. Maybe some people need that first step to get comfortable before they can go deeper into the identity? Not gonna be true for everyone, but maybe for some.

And posing the question honestly, does every minority character need to acknowledge the struggles and challenges of that group? I play gay characters, and I realize that's a little different from race, but I don't always want to acknowledge that homphobia exists while actively writing for such a character.

See my above point. The acknowledgement doesn’t need to be a participation in the struggle or culture. Just a acknowledgement that you the writer thought about it and gave them a believable reason for not dealing with it.

Like if you’re writing a gay character you aren’t gonna say “Oh homophobia is a made up thing like Santa Clause.” Your gonna say “my character doesn’t deal with homophobia because XYZ reasons.”

And then move on with the story.

 

[macheath .]

Outside of the cringe fetishization, couldn't their playing an FC of the race usually suggest that they have an interest in the race?

Personally, I feel like culture can be a little complex. It takes a lot of research and ideally talking to someone of the culture, especially if a lot of members of a site seem pretty critical of accurate representations. Maybe some people need that first step to get comfortable before they can go deeper into the identity? Not gonna be true for everyone, but maybe for some.

And posing the question honestly, does every minority character need to acknowledge the struggles and challenges of that group? I play gay characters, and I realize that's a little different from race, but I don't always want to acknowledge that homphobia exists while actively writing for such a character.

this could easily escalate into a heated discussion cause i had to scoff at your senseless comparison. sexuality sure is different from race. you’d rather not acknowledge the reality of poc, cool, must be a nice bubble to live in. have a good one. ain’t gonna respond after this.

 

[Onmyoji]

Please do not continue this discussion and derail the thread, otherwise it will be locked.