SmallSailboat
The one they warned you about
A few weeks later, Luna was pawing at my face, obviously annoyed at my alarm clock. I turned it off. It’s Saturday, I don’t need to be up right now. I felt my phone buzz on my nightstand. Group chat, huh…
“GUYS I WANNA DO THE THING SOMEONE GO WITH ME”
I couldn’t help smiling. Apparently, there was a carnival in town and Hannah really wanted to go. I really didn’t think about it before I shot back a reply.
“I can go. I didn’t really have plans today, and it sounds like fun.”
“Don’t get too hyped for it now lol wanna meet later?”
My hearted skipped a beat. Actual time with her, where we don’t have to be rushed to go anywhere or do anything? Please let me go alone with her, please let me go alone with her…
“Sure, what time? I’m close by, you can just walk over and we can go together.”
“Well if we want to get there at a reasonable time we’d have to catch the bus, so I’d say about 3?”
I furrowed my brow. “That’s not necessary, I know where that is, they have parking. I can just drive.”
“You drive?”
“You don’t?”
“… ;_;”
“Lol yes I drive. I’m in the apartment above the Korean restaurant, so you really could just come over here whenever you feel like going”
Sarah chimed in, “I don’t drive either”
“I thought driving was standard for people in college”
“… Sarah, why is Lance picking on us? ;;”
“I’m not trying to! Let me know when you’re coming over.”
Her reply made me panic.
“Would you mind if I came over in a few minutes? I’m bored, and the carnival doesn’t start until 4. Plus, I wanna meet your cat lol”
What, now? She can’t come over now, my apartment’s a wreck! I can’t bring her in here! I started running around trying to make the place look at least somewhat presentable. Put my laundry in the hamper, put the dishes up, get Luna’s toys out of the floor. God, I really need to clean this place. I managed to get the house presentable before my phone buzzed again.
“Lance?” Two hours had passed. Shit.
“Sorry, wanted to clean the place up a bit first. Come on over, if you want.”
“You didn’t have to but thanks anyway lol omw”
My heart pounded in my chest. I’m gonna be alone with her. I’m gonna be alone with her. In my apartment. Maybe we could just not go and hang out here all day. The owners downstairs like me, they give me leftover food all the time…
“Can you come get me? I’m outside but I don’t want to accidentally wander in somewhere I’m not supposed to lol”
I glanced at myself in the mirror and smoothed my hair down a bit before rushing downstairs. We greeted each other before I led her upstairs. I waited until we got inside to hug her. I sighed contentedly into her neck. I really do like her scent. She let me hold her a bit too long before I let go of her. I remembered how she greeted me at Jonathan’s a while back.
“Hungry?”
She pondered it for a moment, then said “Yeah I could eat. What were you thinking?”
I pulled out leftover containers of Korean food from the owners downstairs and we hung out. Luna took to her immediately, the little attention whore. We ate, played with Luna, and talked for a bit while we played through some of the indie games on my PlayStation account. I got so comfortable with her I hadn’t realized she ended up in my lap until she turned to the side and laid her head on my shoulder. I thought my heart was going to explode it was going so fast. I pet her head and before I could stop myself, I kissed her temple. I saw the blush spread across her cheeks, then the realization across her face. How did we both not realize the position we were in? She got up and checked her phone.
“H-hey, it’s almost 4 o clock and no one else has answered chat today. Do you wanna just go by ourselves?”
“Y-yeah, sure. That’s fine. No big deal.” I tried to brush it off and I was failing miserably.
“Let’s get going then. Bye Luna, it was nice to meet you, cutie.” She smiled as she bent down to pet Luna goodbye. My heart was still pounding the whole car ride, but at least seeing the carnival gave me somewhat of an excuse as to why my heart was beating so fast. We had a lot of fun, and eventually Hannah spotted the bottle toss. As soon as I saw her eyes light up at one of the stuffed toys I already started calculating how much this was going to cost me. It caught me off guard to see her start to pull her wallet out.
“Hey, hold on a second! Aren’t I supposed to win it for you?”
“Not necessarily” she furrowed her brow in confusion, “You’re welcome to try I suppose but I hadn’t expected you to do anything like that for me. I’m a big girl, I can win my own prizes and everything.”
I held my hands up in defense, backing off as she laughed and paid the attendant for a couple tries. She made it about $20 in before looking utterly disappointed.
“Win your own prizes and everything, huh?” I teased.
She put her hands on her hips, I guess to show her determination, but it was too damn cute for me to take seriously.
“I can do it! Just you watch!” I couldn’t help laughing and stopped her before she shelled out more money on this cheaply made toy.
“Why not just let me try?”
“I can do it myself just fine…” she pouted, pulling on my heartstrings a bit more. Then I remembered something she told Cameron a while back.
“Just because you can doesn’t mean you should have to. Let me do this.”
“Fine, but I’m paying you back.”
I quickly shot her down. “Absolutely not. I don’t need your money, Hannah.”
Surprisingly she wasn’t pouting anymore but looked genuinely hurt.
“How am I supposed to return the favor then?”
It sent a pain through my chest. You don’t owe me anything, just let me do this for you.
“Consider it a thank you for bringing me here. I didn’t know the carnival was in town and I would’ve missed it if you hadn’t said anything.” That didn’t entirely dispel her discomfort, but it seemed to be acceptable.
“Alright, just don’t waste too much money on it. Damn thing already got $20, it’s not worth $40” she laughed.
Truth was, I figured these things out a long time ago for Maria, my younger sister. She loves the carnival and had to win a stuffed animal every time we went as kids. All that practice eventually paid off. I was a bit rusty though, so it took me two tries to win Hannah the one she wanted. She looked genuinely surprised.
“I’ve never seen someone actually win this before, how did you do that?” I melted when she looked up at me with those big blue eyes.
“Ah, my sister really likes these kinds of things, so I got a lot of practice in a while back…”
“I didn’t know you had a sister, how sweet!”
“Wait, you wasted $20 on this never having seen anyone win it before?”
“First time for everything…” she mumbled sheepishly.
I couldn’t help laughing, which I guess made her laugh in turn. We enjoyed the rest of the carnival before we decided to head back. She really did look like a little kid, grinning from ear to ear with her stuffed animal in her lap on the way home. My heart ached a bit when we pulled into the parking lot near my apartment. She’d have to leave now. While I sat in the car pondering, she didn’t hesitate to get out of the car. I was a little surprised, hurt that she would leave without so much as a goodbye. She walked around to my side of the car, looking at me expectantly. Oh. I turned the car off and got out.
“I suppose I gotta go home now, but I had a lot of fun!” She beamed.
“Yeah, m-me too…” Smooth, dude. Real smooth. “I’ll see you later?”
“Of course!” She put the animal on the hood of the car and hugged me. I held her tight. I really didn’t want to let her go.
“Bye Lance!”
“Bye, Hannah.” I whispered and waved. I watched her walk away as I leaned against the car and sighed. I kicked myself internally for all the things I didn't do, how I should have kissed her, told her how I felt. But I did none of that. Instead I just watched her walk away, like an idiot. I went back inside my apartment and plopped down on the bed, frustrated with myself. I smiled, however, when I got another text.
"You said you didn't have any plans for today, right?"
“GUYS I WANNA DO THE THING SOMEONE GO WITH ME”
I couldn’t help smiling. Apparently, there was a carnival in town and Hannah really wanted to go. I really didn’t think about it before I shot back a reply.
“I can go. I didn’t really have plans today, and it sounds like fun.”
“Don’t get too hyped for it now lol wanna meet later?”
My hearted skipped a beat. Actual time with her, where we don’t have to be rushed to go anywhere or do anything? Please let me go alone with her, please let me go alone with her…
“Sure, what time? I’m close by, you can just walk over and we can go together.”
“Well if we want to get there at a reasonable time we’d have to catch the bus, so I’d say about 3?”
I furrowed my brow. “That’s not necessary, I know where that is, they have parking. I can just drive.”
“You drive?”
“You don’t?”
“… ;_;”
“Lol yes I drive. I’m in the apartment above the Korean restaurant, so you really could just come over here whenever you feel like going”
Sarah chimed in, “I don’t drive either”
“I thought driving was standard for people in college”
“… Sarah, why is Lance picking on us? ;;”
“I’m not trying to! Let me know when you’re coming over.”
Her reply made me panic.
“Would you mind if I came over in a few minutes? I’m bored, and the carnival doesn’t start until 4. Plus, I wanna meet your cat lol”
What, now? She can’t come over now, my apartment’s a wreck! I can’t bring her in here! I started running around trying to make the place look at least somewhat presentable. Put my laundry in the hamper, put the dishes up, get Luna’s toys out of the floor. God, I really need to clean this place. I managed to get the house presentable before my phone buzzed again.
“Lance?” Two hours had passed. Shit.
“Sorry, wanted to clean the place up a bit first. Come on over, if you want.”
“You didn’t have to but thanks anyway lol omw”
My heart pounded in my chest. I’m gonna be alone with her. I’m gonna be alone with her. In my apartment. Maybe we could just not go and hang out here all day. The owners downstairs like me, they give me leftover food all the time…
“Can you come get me? I’m outside but I don’t want to accidentally wander in somewhere I’m not supposed to lol”
I glanced at myself in the mirror and smoothed my hair down a bit before rushing downstairs. We greeted each other before I led her upstairs. I waited until we got inside to hug her. I sighed contentedly into her neck. I really do like her scent. She let me hold her a bit too long before I let go of her. I remembered how she greeted me at Jonathan’s a while back.
“Hungry?”
She pondered it for a moment, then said “Yeah I could eat. What were you thinking?”
I pulled out leftover containers of Korean food from the owners downstairs and we hung out. Luna took to her immediately, the little attention whore. We ate, played with Luna, and talked for a bit while we played through some of the indie games on my PlayStation account. I got so comfortable with her I hadn’t realized she ended up in my lap until she turned to the side and laid her head on my shoulder. I thought my heart was going to explode it was going so fast. I pet her head and before I could stop myself, I kissed her temple. I saw the blush spread across her cheeks, then the realization across her face. How did we both not realize the position we were in? She got up and checked her phone.
“H-hey, it’s almost 4 o clock and no one else has answered chat today. Do you wanna just go by ourselves?”
“Y-yeah, sure. That’s fine. No big deal.” I tried to brush it off and I was failing miserably.
“Let’s get going then. Bye Luna, it was nice to meet you, cutie.” She smiled as she bent down to pet Luna goodbye. My heart was still pounding the whole car ride, but at least seeing the carnival gave me somewhat of an excuse as to why my heart was beating so fast. We had a lot of fun, and eventually Hannah spotted the bottle toss. As soon as I saw her eyes light up at one of the stuffed toys I already started calculating how much this was going to cost me. It caught me off guard to see her start to pull her wallet out.
“Hey, hold on a second! Aren’t I supposed to win it for you?”
“Not necessarily” she furrowed her brow in confusion, “You’re welcome to try I suppose but I hadn’t expected you to do anything like that for me. I’m a big girl, I can win my own prizes and everything.”
I held my hands up in defense, backing off as she laughed and paid the attendant for a couple tries. She made it about $20 in before looking utterly disappointed.
“Win your own prizes and everything, huh?” I teased.
She put her hands on her hips, I guess to show her determination, but it was too damn cute for me to take seriously.
“I can do it! Just you watch!” I couldn’t help laughing and stopped her before she shelled out more money on this cheaply made toy.
“Why not just let me try?”
“I can do it myself just fine…” she pouted, pulling on my heartstrings a bit more. Then I remembered something she told Cameron a while back.
“Just because you can doesn’t mean you should have to. Let me do this.”
“Fine, but I’m paying you back.”
I quickly shot her down. “Absolutely not. I don’t need your money, Hannah.”
Surprisingly she wasn’t pouting anymore but looked genuinely hurt.
“How am I supposed to return the favor then?”
It sent a pain through my chest. You don’t owe me anything, just let me do this for you.
“Consider it a thank you for bringing me here. I didn’t know the carnival was in town and I would’ve missed it if you hadn’t said anything.” That didn’t entirely dispel her discomfort, but it seemed to be acceptable.
“Alright, just don’t waste too much money on it. Damn thing already got $20, it’s not worth $40” she laughed.
Truth was, I figured these things out a long time ago for Maria, my younger sister. She loves the carnival and had to win a stuffed animal every time we went as kids. All that practice eventually paid off. I was a bit rusty though, so it took me two tries to win Hannah the one she wanted. She looked genuinely surprised.
“I’ve never seen someone actually win this before, how did you do that?” I melted when she looked up at me with those big blue eyes.
“Ah, my sister really likes these kinds of things, so I got a lot of practice in a while back…”
“I didn’t know you had a sister, how sweet!”
“Wait, you wasted $20 on this never having seen anyone win it before?”
“First time for everything…” she mumbled sheepishly.
I couldn’t help laughing, which I guess made her laugh in turn. We enjoyed the rest of the carnival before we decided to head back. She really did look like a little kid, grinning from ear to ear with her stuffed animal in her lap on the way home. My heart ached a bit when we pulled into the parking lot near my apartment. She’d have to leave now. While I sat in the car pondering, she didn’t hesitate to get out of the car. I was a little surprised, hurt that she would leave without so much as a goodbye. She walked around to my side of the car, looking at me expectantly. Oh. I turned the car off and got out.
“I suppose I gotta go home now, but I had a lot of fun!” She beamed.
“Yeah, m-me too…” Smooth, dude. Real smooth. “I’ll see you later?”
“Of course!” She put the animal on the hood of the car and hugged me. I held her tight. I really didn’t want to let her go.
“Bye Lance!”
“Bye, Hannah.” I whispered and waved. I watched her walk away as I leaned against the car and sighed. I kicked myself internally for all the things I didn't do, how I should have kissed her, told her how I felt. But I did none of that. Instead I just watched her walk away, like an idiot. I went back inside my apartment and plopped down on the bed, frustrated with myself. I smiled, however, when I got another text.
"You said you didn't have any plans for today, right?"
