• This section is for roleplays only.
    ALL interest checks/recruiting threads must go in the Recruit Here section.

    Please remember to credit artists when using works not your own.

War of the kingdom of Peaches: A Royesland spin off [Completed]

TrashRabbit

probably from space
Roleplay Availability
Roleplay Type(s)
This is the battle centered rp detailing the war in the east that precedes the adventurers returning to Royesland: A slice of life RP. the dice used here is based on sexy battle wizards by Grant Howitt



  • Xanth is going to do terrible magics at you any time its like obviously his turn. His spells and their resulting troubles will be rolled off a table. you will put these troubles on your Royseland sheet once we get there. You can only acquire as many troubles via xanth's magic as you have stress. Once you turn all your stress into troubles you're TKO for the fight. the more stress you've taken in the fight up until now the longer you will last in the fight but the more troubles you will take with you when you go home to Royseland.

 
Last edited:
Xanthielex's rein over the kingdom of Peaches and the thrall of fairy time cast over the eastern lands was about to come to a close. The walls of his fortress, the remains of a bone-sol style palace trimmed in gold and sharp turrets smashed unnaturally with a brutalist style tower loomed before them. They had made it this far, the last living members of The Royesland Irregulars 3rd battalion, from the border of Chin, north through the land of ferns, through the time locked lands of the Glass Plains and into the heart land of the Kingdom of Peaches. And now they were knocking on Xanthielex's door.
"Okay!" Tom said brightly. And the worst part was he was smiling, and tom never smiled. Jackie had finished off the corrupted rat man that had tried to put his sword through him while having a revelatory magical conversation with an unknown bard letting him know he hadn't been dumped. "Lets hury this up. Nicola, I got an idea, lets just, teleport him out to us and then you two just jump stab-" he said pointing between Jackie and Finn. This plan was stupid, but an improvement over his usual complaining.
 
Last edited:
Nicola stared at him. "The smiling is creeping me out. Is anyone else creeped out by this?" She actually looked concerned for once. "Are you sure you didn't get any stray spells on you? Because that's not how that works, and you should know that."
 
Far more laconically, Finn asked Tom, "Were you born stupid, or did you find it later?" His sword was through the chest of a second corrupted rat man on the ground to insure it was definitely dead.
 
Jackie squints at Tom's face, "I didn't know that you could even smile. All this time I thought you had face paralysis."
 
"Born stupid Finn, we've covered this. I don't see why we cant just teleport him out?" He said with a level of joie de vivre thereto unheard of. Tom was tall and spindly like a piece of string cheese with a shock of blond hair on the top of his head, tight high wasted pants that showed off his calves and a heavy patched leather jacket with little metal spike sewn into it like armor. He was easy to identify as a wizard versus the more domesticated court magicians by his poor fashion sense.
"I've smiled," He said offhandly. Wich was maybe true but this was not his usual the wry and smug dry smile that he used for when he was being cleer or things were going well. This was the smile of a man who had a boy to go home and kiss immediately.
 
"Because the rest of us weren't born stupid," Finn said, slinging his sword over one armored shoulder. He was a little shorter than Tom, but weighed at least three of the wizard, and could pick him up and carry him away if he wanted to. "Sit down before your hurt yourself a minute."
 
Smaller than the rest of the group by a significant margin, Nicola's attitude tended to make up for what she lacked in height. She made a little noise, as if Finn's statement about the others' lack of stupidity was debatable. Shaking her head, she held up a hand.

"You don't see why not? One-" she put one finger up, "you can't teleport an unwilling target, especially one you can't see. Two," another finger, "especially especially if you can't see it because you don't actually know where it is. Three," and so on, "if we had a focus, like a piece of clothing or preferably a lock of hair, we could maybe try to scry the location, but we possess no such thing. I could keep going."

She did a quick scan of the area just from where she stood. "Anyway, while Tom's present delirium is concerning, I too would like to get this over with. If nothing else, we're too exposed out here to take a rest." Nicola crossed her arms. "So what now?"
 
"Nicola, that's quiters talk," Tom said as she listed off all the very sound reasons his ideas were bad. And if that didn't sum up his style of casting and their relationship nothing could. he tried to wipe the sticky iridescent blue rat man blood off hte front of his jacket but it had the consistence of grease and smeared everywhere you didn't want it when you tried to wipe it. "And I dunno you tell me, since you're still hogging the braincell and all."
 
"Oh, my goodness." Rolling her eyes, Nicola retrieved one of her enchanted handkerchiefs from her sleeve and handed it to Tom. "If I only had one brain cell, Thomas, you are not the person I would share it with. Please clean yourself up."
 
"No short cuts. We gotta go on up and dig him out," Finn said. "Why are you bothering to clean up? We're just gonna get more blood all over us," Finn said. And indeed, his rather battered armor was covered in violently blue blood.
 
"Okay- very noble, but I'm gona argue that the rat mans are homunculi, made by him, and we could use any rat man as a focus to teleport to him. I'm just saying. Its a theoretically valid line of thought." He said eaisly as he said any other bat shit idea that waltzed into his head, which was often. And it was rare to impossible for him to ever admit his ideas didn't have legs.
 
Last edited:
"Whatever you say, darlin'," Finn said, crossed the field to the tower. He tried the door and, expecting it to be locked, was surprised to find it pop right open. "Come on, then," he called back to the rest of the squad, and then made a strange sound as something collided with his side, knocking him partially off balance and all of the wind out of him.
"DILLAN I THOUGHT YOU LOCKED THAT!" bellowed a rat man, standing out of range with a flail.
"OH MY GOD A HUMAN GROSS GROSSS GROSS," shouted a second rat man, presumably Dillan. "SMUSH IT HERALD. GET IT."
"...You know what, that's fair," Finn said, and coughed, and then raised his sword.
 
"GET HIM DILLAN, CATCH HIM, HE'S MAKING A MOCKERY OF YOU MAN!" Herald shouted, sending their rat man card games spilling across the floor as he tried to look for a jar and a piece of paper big enough to handle the human problem- not realy he grabbed his cross bow and readied a bolt.
 
"Because that ridiculous jacket is the closest thing he has to armor and if he ruins it and gets hurt my ass is, as they say, grass." Scowling, Nicola watched Finn open the fortress door. "You, I'm afraid, are beyond my help at this point-"

Upon opening said door, her comrade was immediately clobbered by more rat guards. "Well you didn't have to prove my point quite so fast," she muttered under her breath. Thinking fast, Nicola rolled up her sleeves and raised her hands to begin creating an illusion she hoped would not just frighten the rats, but keep them from approaching her party again.

She thought about the great horned owls who'd lived in the trees beyond her bedroom window as a child. It had taken some research to come up with it, but once she found a spell that allowed her to see in the dark, Nicola had spent many sleepless nights during her school years watching the family of owls go about their business. It was one of these, pretty big and scary-looking at their normal size, she conjured a giant copy of now.

"Hey-o, pretty birdy!" she called, directing the screeching illusion to graze low over the rat men's heads. "I'm getting pretty tired of these guys. Time for a snack, huh?"
 
"God fucking dammit, Finneas, have you learned nothing from Leeroy Jenkins-!" Jackie snaps, pulling three arrows from the quiver strapped to her back as Fin gets the tar beat out of him by suspiciously man-shaped rats, holding her arrows in the same hand as her bloodied bow. It is with practiced fluidity that she notches the arrow against the bowstring, pulling it back hard, ready to let it fly into the rat loading a crossbow -

When what sounds like the world's largest, most furious owl screams above her head.

The shot goes wide, the arrow dinging uselessly off the castle's stone wall instead of going through the eye of one of the ratmen as intended, and Jackie looks up at the owl suddenly above her, then to the sorceress that casted him, "Hey, common courtesy is to give a heads up to your team that you're summoning a fuck-off big owl! Just for future fucking reference!"
 
"HAROLD HAROLD THEY BROUGHT AN OWL!" Dillian cried, shoving backwards away from Finn and into Herald. Herald, rat mouth agape in fear scaters out of the gaurd room and Dillain spills after him. They go shouting off into the main court yard and you can hear them mobilizing the rest of the rat man army within.

Jackie's arrow that went wide ricochets off the stone tower and hits Jackie's stupid fantasy-yankees ball cap, only barely not taking her own eye out.
 
Last edited:
The arrow comes back, catching her hat by the brim and sending it flying several feet away from her head - Jackie shrieks high enough to break glass in sheer shock, "DJESUS, MOTHERFUCKER-" then drops on her ass as her hands come up to hold her own head. Which, by her feverish inspection, is fully intact. She breathes once, twice, then exclaims, with enough bitterness to make a whole extra Tom, "My fuck-mothering dyke hat, Nicola! For fuck's sakes!"
 
"And get another hat that says 'I Love Maine!', wherever the fuck that is? Over my dead fucking body, Thomas."
 
"Maine is an island off the coast of Royesland. I will fucking taking you there some day- lets move!" He pulled her towards the tower door as arrow fire began to rain down from the parapets.
 
"I would rather DIE, Tom -" She tucks behind the wall and Tom, using him as a tall, human shield, "I don't have my hat to protect me from projectiles-"
 
He takes his own stupidly battered, insanly wide brimmed wizard hat and plunks it on her head, "You'll be fine. Its great. You're fine," he says in a rush.
 
In retrospect, she hadn't considered her team's response when creating the illusion, which was a factor Nicola chastised herself for not taking into consideration, given how unpredictable they could be. Although how she could not expect Jackie to try to shoot something, either, was a serious miscalculation on her part.

Already pale, the color still managed to drain from Nicola's face as Jackie almost shot herself in the head, making her freckles stand out in stark relief. "Shit- fucking- I'm so sorry, Jackie, I can fix it-"

The illusion wavered for a second, and she turned her attention back to it, having the bird follow the rats through the doorway they'd fled out of. "Maybe you shouldn't wear your favorite hat into battle," she said distractedly, not trying to be mean but as honest advice. And then the rallied rat guards began releasing their fire.

"Dammit!" Nicola screeched, trying to keep her spell going as she dashed after Tom and Jackie. "It's supposed to scare you off, bastards, not inspire you to start shooting at us!" There was only so much just the image of the owl could do: sadly, she couldn't make it tangible and actually attack the rats. "Time to go, Finn!"
 
"Come back here ya little shits!" Finn shouted and chased after the two rat men deeper into the tower, sword raised. He caught up to the slower of the two and drove his sword through the back and up before pulling it free. The other wasn't fast enough to stay out of reach of Finn's sword, and got a sword through the neck. Finn pulled his sword free again and turned towards the door, now out of sight behind the illusionary owl. "The fuck are all y'all waitin' for?" he shouted at the rest of the squad, flicking blue blood from his longsword.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Back
Top