Thisbe Feedback!

[Goinggoinggone]

Hi all! I'm going to post the general character outline I have for my current character, Thisbe. Any feedback would be great! I'm leaving some things open for development later.

Thisbe Renison
Age: 19
Race: Human Witch

Art by yours truly

~Physical Description:

• Chubby and curvy! Not well muscled and squishy, but a bit tall for her body type (5’6”).
• Round face with deep-set hazel eyes that slant up. Her nose is somewhat crooked.
• Curly auburn hair, usually pulled up into a strict bun.
• Dark beige skin with birthmarks & freckles
• Smells like cloves and vanilla on good days

Personality

Thisbe is a strict, commanding figure who doesn’t at all look the type. She’s set in her ways and has trouble learning new approaches to things. Despite being deeply flawed, she’s convinced that everything is fine, will be fine, and has been fine. An early tumble into a pool left her with a fear of water, and a difficult childhood gives her a general anxiety about other people/personal boundaries.

Biography

Thisbe grew up in a small suburban house with her father, who was a local wizard with a habit of taking bribes. His work was mostly in potions, and she has many early memories of the strange people that would sit in their living room while he worked.

At the age of 14, Thisbe took on an apprenticeship with a mage named Irene. Irene taught her many basics of magic, but passed away two years later, leaving Thisbe in a large city with no money and no refuge. Her father made a begrudging deal with her; he would send her money in order to start an apothecary in exchange for taking on some of his customers. Satisfied with this, Thisbe began her endeavor into magical shop keeping.

~Strengths:

• Realist
• Efficient

~Flaws:

• Callous
• Arrogant
• Spiteful
• Impatient

~Fears:

• Claustrophobic

 

[Idea]

Any feedback would be great! I'm leaving some things open for development later.

What, exactly, are you leaving open for "development later" and what does "development later" entail? Are you saying the character is not complete or that you are purposely leaving things absent to make them "develop" later (though you can't really develop what's not there, but I disgress)?

Also, are you looking for serious criticism or just a general outlook? The first is an outlook at character quality, whereas the second is at character playability.

I can give feedback but only once I know what exactly I am critiquing.

 

[Neshaiku]

First of all, I love the artwork.

As for the character herself, I see that you wrote that Thisbe grew up with her father, but at only 16(if I'm reading correctly), she was left alone and broke- that's got me confused, but I should ask whether coming-of-age is much earlier in the world Thisbe is set in, or is that the "development" you plan on making? If the latter, I'm unsure as to how that would be brought about. Shamelessly stealing a question(ish) from Idea, I'd say Thisbe is rather playable, in my opinion, but I feel the "commanding figure" combined with the "callousness" may make it... unappealing to play alongside for some people, save for if Thisbe is supposed to fill a rather specific role in a story.