Fantasy The Worst Pantheon: Live and Reloaded (IC Thread) (OPEN)

[KolastoRPN]

Helsa Action #1

I'll be trying my hand at influencing a few of the feudal kingdoms in the west.

nation

A nation... Helsa thought to herself, before her grin turned savage. Turning her focus to the globe, she reached towards the Nekomatus nation, seeking out someone to...make an offer to.

She soon found a dojo hidden deep within the mountains, where a group of Nekomatus shinobi trained. She could feel the cold, ruthless demeanor every one of the assassins held, even in those that had just begun their training.

And it was then that she found the perfect opening in one of the younger ones. Envy, greed, and a powerful desire to prove themselves...a perfect way to twist the young Nekomatus's mind.

Helsa reached into their thoughts, their inner self...and began to whisper to them.

You deserve so much better than all of this...you deserve to rule...

 

[Churl]

Farmer Joe: Conversational

“An open ear is always a useful resource. I plan to sponsor the goblins into a decent civilization. They’ve been banging rocks for the last millennia. Does anybody object?”

Ickol: Conversational

“But...how...are...any...of...us...qualified...to...decide...what...a...decent...society...is...
...
...for them? They...seem...to...be...doing...fine?“

 

[Selee-01]

The Exarch Micah, wielding a sword of light, immediately began to challenge nearby warlords and barbarian chieftains for their armies. His sword was sharp and hot enough to effortlessly slice through armor, and it was not long before he gained the attention of the Empire.

 

[Gravitys Momentum]

Farmer Joe: Conversational

Ickol: Conversational

“But...how...are...any...of...us...qualified...to...decide...what...a...decent...society...is...
...
...for them? They...seem...to...be...doing...fine?“

“We aren’t, but I was going to do it anyways.”

 

[Space Buddha]

GM UPDATE
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Rhubarion Talking to Self

"Well, I assume so. I guess it's worth taking the risk. HEEEERREE GOEESSSS SOOOMMMEEETTHIING!!!"

Rhubarion runs at the globe with marvelous speed.

Rhubarian continues to run at the globe for several minutes, hours in fact, until he realizes he is no longer running, but falling. Falling out of the sky to be exact. He was on fire, and eventually reached the ground, or was at least levitating slightly off the ground presumably to avoid an extinction event. Rhubarion was surrounded by open fields with forests in the distance, said forests being composed largely of bamboo, tipping him off that he must be somewhere in the Jade Empire. The oversized wall stretching across the horizon in the distance only served to confirm this fact.​

 

[KolastoRPN]

*rhubarion falling*

Helsa was distracted from what she was doing by Rhubarion's sudden disappearance..."Where'd he go? Did I miss his pain?"

 

[Churl]

Helsa was distracted from what she was doing by Rhubarion's sudden disappearance..."Where'd he go? Did I miss his pain?"

Ickol: Conversational
“Sadly...it...seems...I...was...correct...about...the...globe...being...a...portal. Want...to...ask...the...llama...to...make...a...fake...globe...for...next...time?“

 

[Gravitys Momentum]

Farmer Joe: Conversational

“See you guys in a century for the next meeting! Bye.” Joe then dives into the globe.

 

[KolastoRPN]

Want...to...ask...the...llama...to...make...a...fake...globe...for...next...time

"I refuse to ask that spitting fool for anything." Helsa said, nose upturned.

 

[Churl]

"I refuse to ask that spitting fool for anything." Helsa said, nose upturned.

Ickol conversational:

The goddess shrugged, threw a flower at Helsa’s exposed chin, and danced towards the globe, falling back into it gracefully.

 

[Selee-01]

The Dragon is teleported back into the Chamber of Guf by Jophiel.

And thus, an apocalypse was narrowly averted.

 

[KolastoRPN]

threw a flower at Helsa’s exposed chin

Helsa's tentacles tore the bloom to pieces, with the Goddess of Evil clearly snarling before she dived into the globe herself.

 

[Poetic Prose Master]

Farmer Joe: Conversational

“An open ear is always a useful resource. I plan to sponsor the goblins into a decent civilization. They’ve been banging rocks for the last millennia. Does anybody object?”

Assyrian spoke then with thunder, he spoke with a crashing and smashing of stars, a breaking of earth all rolled up into one ringing denouement
"I would object. I would object with tears, with the sorrow they leave on the world, with misery they sow and ever more still I could name their acts and deeds. Not a one good, not a one of ideal or a philosophy of life I would accept. Do tell, farmer, how shall you tame such savage hearts and grasping fingers as they? What can you do that can turn the barbaric into the civilized?"
Assyria's words were burning, they seethed and sizzled, they boiled and ruptured. In every bit of his verse was anger and rage. The Goblins were without Ideal, without cultivation and a source of great oppression. The Red God despised them and wished only to slay them all to build a mountain of their dead.

 

[Stikes]

Kurantse, seeing a trend of people coming dangerously come to jumping into him, decided to participate. He did need to get started in the most realm...

He turns to Assyrian( Poetic Prose Master ), saying, "I'll get back to ya, buddy!" before flipping a coin into the City-states, watching as it shrinks and falls to the surface. Wherever it lands is where he will.

 

[Gravitys Momentum]

Farmer Joe: Conversational

Assyrian spoke then with thunder, he spoke with a crashing and smashing of stars, a breaking of earth all rolled up into one ringing denouement
"I would object. I would object with tears, with the sorrow they leave on the world, with misery they sow and ever more still I could name their acts and deeds. Not a one good, not a one of ideal or a philosophy of life I would accept. Do tell, farmer, how shall you tame such savage hearts and grasping fingers as they? What can you do that can turn the barbaric into the civilized?"
Assyria's words were burning, they seethed and sizzled, they boiled and ruptured. In every bit of his verse was anger and rage. The Goblins were without Ideal, without cultivation and a source of great oppression. The Red God despised them and wished only to slay them all to build a mountain of their dead.

“Alright, I’ll test them by granting an individual my enlightenment.” And then Joe was gone.

 

[Poetic Prose Master]

Assyrian Conversational
Assyriain gave a great leap and flew into the globe, turning into a comet of blazing red as he plummeted towards the numerous city states, the mortals there seeing a line of crimson like a sword cutting through the heaveans, making its way to the earth.

 

[KolastoRPN]

Helsa Conversational

A sickly green comet flew through the sky, any mortal (un)lucky enough to see it were struck with great fear upon doing so, as if the comet itself meant nothing but doom for their peaceful lives. If anyone listened close enough, they could hear a high, feminine laugh coming from the comet itself.

-

Far off the coast of the Jade Empire, there was a single, small island. There was no value to it; it was covered in palm trees and foliage, and had a few caves, but no one really...thought about it.

And then the sickly green comet slammed into one of the caves, causing green smoke to flood out of the caves, seeping out onto the water like a haunting mist.

Deep in those caves, a pair of emerald green slitted eyes opened, and a large fanged grin formed.

It's time to begin...

 

[Churl]

Ickol, Goddess of Disorder- Action 1

Lord Alvish was not exactly the ideal heir to the throne, but when your ‘kingdom’ is smaller than some of the Empire’s cities, the King is a sterile old fool with no other kin and you’re smack dab in the middle of rat’s-arse-nowhere there’s not really a lot of room for debate, even if the heir is a drunk rich boy barely out of his teens good for nothing except making sure the kingdom didn’t bother anyone and was a friendly neutral force to its neighbors. Entertain a few guests here, sign a couple bills there, while not a figure oozing in the people’s popularity, he was a passible leader, certain to have an uneventful reign.
That all changed tonight, however.

Blinking the sleep off of his eyes, Prince Alvish groggily scratched at his stubble, trying to see what woke him up. Seeing a grinning antlered woman tangled in his sheets was not what he expected, to say the least.
She looked...if not beautiful, than exotic. Her face reminded Albish not off of any particular beauties he had courted, but all of them, and she also reminded him of his image of what an Elvish woman would look like. All these things put together didn’t heighten her allure, though. If anything, it gave her an unnatural look.
He screamed.

“W-What are you?! Why are you here?!”

She sighed. “I...suppose...mortals...really...have...grown...arrogant...if...a...king...can...lay...with...a...goddess...and...so...easily...forget.“

He blinked. “I-You’re a-?”

“Goddess? ...Yes. You...called...to...me...in...your...dreams.“

“Oh.”
He paused, registering.
“And we...?”

“Yes. Well...in...the...land...of...dreams. I...suppose...that...is...why...you...cannot...remember. I...hope...that...is...the...only...reason...of...course.“
She looked reproachfully at the Prince. Without thinking, he quickly set forward to ease her apparent doubts.
“Of-Of course! I would never be so boorish to a Lady! Much less a-wow, I can’t even believe-much less a-a goddess! And you say we...um, was I...?”
He looked beseechingly at the goddess, who smiled.

“Indeed, ...Trust...me, ...you...can...seduce...any...woman...you...choose.You...have...a...romantic...aura.“

“I have a-I mean of course, I managed to-with a- yes!”

“Alas, ...I...am...unable...to...continue...this...tryst. There...are...rules. God...rules.“

Her eyes begged for forgiveness, and Alvish found himself nodding somberly.
“I-of course, I understand. It’s the rules, and everything. Um, although I don’t remember, I won’t forget-I mean, I’ll remember this part specifically, and try to remember the other part-if I can, I mean, and-“

“I...regret...to...ask...this...of...you...but...I...have...a...major...boon...to...beg...for.“

“A-a boon? A goddess, asking me for a...why of course! Anything!”

“There...was...another...rule...I...broke. And...I...must...ask...you...to...please...bear...the...burden.“

She pointed, and Alvish got out of bed to look at the object. He stared.

“Is...is this?”

“It...happens...faster...with...gods.“

“Oh. I-yes! I will raise it!”

Ickol smiled as he lifted the baby.
“Good. Remember...this...is...important. You...can...tell...no one...who...the...mother...is. Not...even...the...child.“

“Yes, yes I suppose that makes sense...”

“Also...the...divine...have...the...same...qualities...as...all...unnatural...beings. You...must...keep...it...away...from...salt, and...especially...iron. Iron...weapons...iron...armor...iron...nails...iron...buildings. It...will...die...otherwise.“

“Wait, but then what do we use instead of iron?”

“You...have...much...gold...do...you...not? Use...it...and...wood.“

The Prince started. “Wood and gold! Surely you must be...but you are a goddess, if you say so...”

She assured him, and after a long, drawn out goodbye departed.

...

Standing on a hill in the moonlight, no other beings around for miles, Ickol stopped. She breathed in, and gave a quiet giggle. This continued, evolving into a drawn out chortle, and eventually into violent laughter, her body doubled over and convulsing in hysterics.

How did that even work?! When she had spotted faeries swiping a baby for a changeling, she has endeavored to steal the false child after they left simply to muddle with their designs. The idea of instituting it into a kingdom had seemed far fetched, even when she found the ideal place: far enough away from the faerie territories the ruse wouldn’t be spotted, and lacking in enough iron the creature would survive. She had almost doubted she could actually pull it off, but that Prince, how could she even believe such a person could possibly exist?! He had accepted everything she said without a sliver of hesitation, and now he was liable to melt down the treasury, invest in wood, harass every pretty face he sees with full confidence, and have an unaware changeling as an heir!

This couldn’t be...but it was! True, this world has a bit of an unpleasant aftertaste, but it may just have one positive aspect. She suspected when she met the other gods, but now that she was finally exploring this world it was confirmed! This world, it really is full of...

“Fucking...idiots...“

The goddess of lies smiled, and danced in the moonlight, imagination alight with dreams of a world on fire.

 

[Poetic Prose Master]

Assyrian Conversational
The God landed upon the earth and there was a slight impact, a little blast that shook the air around him in a small radius and a rupturing of the earth beneath as it imploded into cracks and shatters, small cracks, small shatters to be sure. But cracks and shatters till, though not thunderous enough to arouse anybody's interest. The God glowed with the light of his soul and it shone with a radiance that adhered to him like a kingly crown and robe. He turned his eyes with their far seeing gaze and began to walk. He traveled through the roads and forest and all the while he hummed a little tune to himself. Letting his form be bare, minus what was needed for decency, so that the throbbing of his veins and the light of his being could be seen by any that cared to look at him.

 

[KolastoRPN]

Helsa Action #2

Helsa, deep within the caverns of the island she had landed upon, began to work her magic. Already her presence was corrupting the island's foliage into something more...suited to her tastes. More hostile to anything that she hadn't bent to her will. But it wasn't truly enough for her. She needed an empire, one that would serve her unconditionally as she slaughtered every foe that stood in her way!

And such, she gathered her energy...

-

Everything was silent. Seemingly.

Then, in the middle of the ocean, a grand pillar of emerald light shout out of nowhere, visible from everywhere on Ocaeril. Those that were good felt terrified at the sight of the pillar. Those that were neutral felt as if they would need to pick a true morality very soon, no matter how they felt about it. Those that desired power over everything and everyone else...they felt drawn to the light. And those that worshipped the Corruptor, the few that remained hidden across Ocaeril, those that glorified Sin...

They prayed in pure joy, for their goddess had returned.

This event would become known as the Pillar of Terror.

 

[Gravitys Momentum]

Farmer Joe: Action 1

Joe smacked into the ground very hard, he stood up seeing that he was on an island. Nobody here it seems. Then he saw that he was bleeding, and there was blood on the sands. The blood dissipated but plants began to quickly grow out of it. The island became a lush green and from it rose tiny plantoid humanoids. Two inch tall, they were already working and producing. He would call these the Plunts. Oh look, there’s already a leader.

 

[Selee-01]

Action 2 Yimor'droth
Angel Awakening

The Archangel Jophiel scratched it's chin equivalent with his wing. The Exarch needed help to wage long-term war...

The Angel Ophiel descended into the latest conflict, and vaporized the enemy. With this conflict, the Exarch's reign was solidified.

 

[BlackCat-055]

Helsa merely continued to smile at the Goddess of Heroes. Yes, that evil brewing inside you...I'll be happy to use it for my own goals. I'll be happy to break you, and give birth to that Great Evil.

Hate. Suffering. Pain. Torment. Pride. Greed.

"...I do believe we'll get along quite nicely..." She mumbled under her breath.

My keens senses alerted to her words, oh my, why would she mumble it under her breath? Hmm maybe it's because she doesn't want to let people know of her softer nature, yes, that makes sense, she just seem so beautiful and passionate, a softer side might seem likely, I whispered while activating prana, using a spell to throw my voice so only she could hear it.

"As do I" I then smiled at her with eyes closed before quickly returning to a blank look at the meeting we have, I wonder how're the Incarnated me and the others are doing?

"Good day, good day. We've been called here by our buddy the Void Lord so we can get cracking on Ocaeril. Apparently, it's stagnated these past thousand years we've been away, so we need to reenergize things, eh?"

i tapped my finger at my holstered sword's hilt, re-energize things, what can I do about that, hmm.

"Well truthfully I've been thinking of implanting parts of my essence into the newborn babies of high-ranking members in each faction in a process called 'reincarnation', they probably do much for some time, but that's because they will be busy with training and growing up, and when they're of age, they'll go out and explore the world, they might change something, they have fractions of my power after all, but who knows.

I also have been thinking of doing other things and such like implanting certain heroes to spice things up, anyways other from that, I could do some leeway and strike up a villain or two to generate conflict, which would of course make tragedy and thus hero potential"

“An open ear is always a useful resource. I plan to sponsor the goblins into a decent civilization. They’ve been banging rocks for the last millennia. Does anybody object?”

I shook my head "no not really, although I must admit, if they cause trouble, it's my duty to send in someone to fight them, I apologize"

 

[Space Buddha]

GM UPDATE
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Assyrian Conversational
The God landed upon the earth and there was a slight impact, a little blast that shook the air around him in a small radius and a rupturing of the earth beneath as it imploded into cracks and shatters, small cracks, small shatters to be sure. But cracks and shatters till, though not thunderous enough to arouse anybody's interest. The God glowed with the light of his soul and it shone with a radiance that adhered to him like a kingly crown and robe. He turned his eyes with their far seeing gaze and began to walk. He traveled through the roads and forest and all the while he hummed a little tune to himself. Letting his form be bare, minus what was needed for decency, so that the throbbing of his veins and the light of his being could be seen by any that cared to look at him.

Meanwhile, somewhere on the roadways in the Jade Empire, Assyrian encountered numerous travelers, most of whom gave him a wide berth or simply gawked at his appearance. A few tried to sell him things. Overall, the journey was uneventful, and having walked for days on end he scarcely passed a village, and when he did, the locals never approached. The paths were long and winding, and troupes of soldiers could occasionally be seen marching along other paths, only taking a few moments to stare before continuing. Eventually however, the path reached a village that it traveled straight through, with the entrances to the small town being marked with paifang-style archways and the small houses and merchant stalls being decorated by tiny paper lanterns. The villagers do not directly approach, rather simply looking on with curiosity while the guards size up the deity and, despite being unaware of his true nature, apparently decide that accosting him would be above their pay grade, despite the likely complaints of a number of women who shield their children's eyes from Assyrian, given his state of undress.

Assyrian's primary manifestation is now located in a remote village within the Jade Empire.​

 

[Stikes]

Kurantse Takes Action: I-II​

Over one of the wealthier of the western City-states, a golden coin falls from heaven.

It's so tiny that nearly no-one notices as it spins down, and those that do pass it off as a mote of dust catching the light. After another few moments, it pings off of the roof of the local Lord's residence, flipping into the air, where Kurantse catches it. He takes stock of his surroundings post-manifestation, then starts strolling around on the roof of this place, in search of a window.

Eventually, he finds one, crawling in with the creeping grace of a spider. He moves through the place, keeping to the shadows and making sure he's unseen, eventually concluding his search at the door to the Lord's study. Looking through the keyhole, he finds it empty. Good, that makes this easier.

A quick application of a re-shaped coin easily pops the lock, admitting him to the study. Another moment spent rifling through the Lord's drawers nets him a few pieces of parchment, a bottle of ink, and a quill.

He seats himself at the desk, cracks his fingers, and dips his quill into the inkwell. After a brief pause to turn the ink a golden color, he set quill to page and begins to write a letter addressed to the Lord.

Spoiler: It Reads Thus

Despite the circumstances of its arrival in your study, I urge you to treat the contents of this letter with the utmost seriousness. Should you heed my words, you will be given a pair of great boons, one personal and one for your nation.
The latter is a guide on how to set up something called an "assembly line", a manufacturing process that could greatly speed up the production weapons, siege engines, and other such projects. If my calculations are correct, you should be able to produce tens or hundreds of items per day with this method.
The former is a instructions on the use of a type of magic called "Cash Magic", designed by yours truly. It will allow you to convert your gold and other valuables into personal power, though you must be careful not to let greed consume you.
Further details enclosed in the attached documents.
-K, GoM.
p.s., one day, I'll ask that you or your kin repay me for these boons. Don't forget.

After another few minutes to write out the documents containing more detailed explanations of assembly lines and Cash Magic, Kurantse leans back in his commandeered chair, sighing and glancing out the window. The sun was low in the sky, now. I suppose that this first day has been successful enough, he thinks to himself, as he stands and moves to the window, Let's hope my efforts bear fruit, eh? Though not literally, that's Joe's thing.

He opens the window, then flings a coin out into the distance, disappearing from sight.