Poetry the stupid blonde (just a bunch of feel-poems)

[Trickster Crayon]

i saw the signs, i knew i saw the signs
from the way you weren't consistent
and all the dirt and grime

you told me,
one night as we stayed up
you had told me straight up
but I never sucked it up

we weren't even together, you told me how you are
consistently in need of attention
and manipulation was at par

you put it simply, into a few words
they stuck with me i swear
but i never thought it'd hurt

fell for you, i truly really did
through pretty lies and those brown eyes
i'm the fool in the joke you ruthlessly hid
a joke that was a lie

i should've known, when the rose glasses broke
your words had stung me that day
you really made me feel special
with words i hoped you wouldn't say

they said, "My dear, you really think I care?"
of course i did
how could i not
you seemed to always end up there

it's like the world wanted to remind me of you
day in and day out
with simplistic phone reminders
and the feeling of my self doubt

i think i touched your heart
as we sat a few inches apart
your eyes connected with mine
as i felt myself walk the line

you compared me to your sister
how you had to love her but you didn't like her
you had told me you actually liked me
I really.. did believe

things went well that day,
as i felt this certain way
i think you felt it too
maybe the fuck-boy life wasn't for you

i know you're a good guy,
i can see it in your eyes
you're just confused you always say and well
tired all the time

life get's hard
you told me all your worries
i was there through it all
the blizzards and the flurries

i think you fell for me
the repetitive calls at night,
the way your eyes were light
when we looked together at the night sky

our conversations were so deep
politics and love
the stars and what could maybe be heavens up above

i fell for you.
i like to think you did too
as we sat inches apart
like you always wanted to do

maybe you're confused
as to what you really wanted
you had to of liked me too i mean
you seem to be quite haunted

is the ghost doing you well?
as you attempt not to tell?
of the kiss we shared
and how you truly, really fell

into my arms you always find
a way to start a game
a player who is as willing as me
a lovely shot to aim

and i aimed
i think i hit.
i probably missed
cause i never heard from you again

days turning into weeks,
weeks into a month
our eyes connect sometimes but they're quickly
plunged to none

i became the stupid blonde
towards the boy who was gone
the blonde who had been alone for so long
who never felt she won

i really thought i was smart
i truly thought you were the one
i never thought it was a start
to being so undone

and like magic, suddenly
our friendship had vanished
our ideas had vanished
our talks had vanished too

and i like to believe our hearts, not just mine, had bid u both a final adieu.​

 

[Trickster Crayon]

i stare into the mirror
something we all do
not looking at my hair but at my eyes

it isn't often i feel this compelled
to stare into the teary skies
they long for help but in my heart
they see nothing but cold lies

something changes when i stare
a longing and desire
the happiness i cannot find
in times like this so dire

so i force a smile
as i try not to pile
my worries and
my doubts

i love so much
and give so much
its hard to tell my
worth

i long to be held
every once in a while
from the world in which
i hearth

my blue eyes narrow
into little teary skies
as i disregard the streaming black lines
and i smile my biggest grin

being sad is a choice,
i know it is
if i allow the chemicals in my brain to win
i'm sure i wont ever be whole again​