Fandom The Reunion [clostridium & Soul_]

[clostridium]

Sebastian was willing to try for him. It should never have been in any doubt, he realized. Everything Sebastian had ever done had been done for the sake of an utterly obsessive level of loyalty to the people he valued most. As difficult as it was for Ominis to justify to himself, he knew for a fact that he was one such person. If he asked for something, no matter how badly it wounded Sebastian, he would comply. Now, he would comply. His happiness could never have been more important than what Sebastian perceived to be best for Anne’s safety, but now…Ominis realized he might be the only person in Sebastian’s life onto which the other man could direct his incredible capacity for devotion. It was a responsibility he did not know what to do with. He knew that he had to be careful. He did not want Sebastian to be hurt, but he knew that Sebastian would allow himself to be hurt in an instant if it could benefit Ominis even slightly. He doubted that his friend’s self-sacrificing tendencies had got any better over time.

“Perhaps we could start even smaller than that. Just…going to Feldcroft, spending a morning there. Really, the toughest part may be neighbours, if we are…well, you know, recognized. Small talk is something I’ve become less and less accustomed to. You may have noticed, I keep staggering around between…unable to say anything at all, and pouring my heart out. I feel…really, I could not say. Strange. Not…in a negative sort of way, I just cannot recall a time when I’ve felt this way. …I could use some nonsense plans. Schemes to become rich overnight. You know, if I were less upstanding, I would be quite the con artist. One cannot escape getting things for free when others assume that one is obscenely wealthy, after all.”

Ominis tried to ease the subject in a more humorous direction, recognizing the tension in Sebastian’s voice. He already had more than enough to feel tense about, it didn’t need to be compounded by Ominis’s long-shot wishes. His thumb ran slowly back and forth at the base of Sebastian’s skull, massaging like he was trying to rid him of an incoming headache.

 

[Soul_]

Sebastian huffed a soft laugh, his eyes still closed as he soaked in the gentle motion of Ominis’s thumb against the base of his skull. It was grounding—more than grounding, really. It was the kind of small, persistent comfort that felt like it could stave off an entire lifetime’s worth of aches if he let it.

“You’d be an excellent con artist,” he murmured, lips quirking just enough to curve into a smile. “The tragic heir with a mysterious past, walking into every room like you own it but asking for nothing. People would throw galleons at your feet just for the chance to feel helpful.” He cracked one eye open to glance at him, something fond and tired lingering in the depths of his gaze. “Of course, I’d be your very sketchy accountant who cooks the books and insists we invest everything in some questionable magical pyramid scheme.”

The lightness in his tone didn’t erase the ache in his chest, but it gave it shape—something he could wrap a little humor around instead of letting it hollow him out. “I’d insist on us using aliases, obviously. You’d be Lord Featherstone, and I’ll be…” He paused, lips twitching again. "I don't really know." After a beat, his voice dropped again into something quieter. “I’d like to go back there with you, even just for a morning. Start smaller than small. We can avoid neighbors, keep our heads down. Walk the long way around the path, the one with the crooked old gate. You remember it?” His thumb moved in a slow, thoughtful arc against Ominis’s side. “The one that rattled like mad even when there wasn’t any wind.”

He paused, just breathing for a moment. “It means a lot. That you’re thinking about this. That you want me there, even after everything. I don’t think I ever told you properly but…you made me start dreaming. I didn’t even realize I’d stopped until I started again. With you” He turned his head, just enough to nuzzle his nose against Ominis’s cheek, then settled there. “So, if you want nonsense schemes, I’ll start drafting a few. I hear there’s gold in Kneazle breeding. Or maybe we start a boutique potion shop with offensively overpriced teas that promise emotional clarity.”

 

[clostridium]

“Reynard Rackett, Esquire. Of the highly estimable firm Bunco, Rackett, and Snowe. We may as well make you an attorney as well. You know, if you’d believe it, my family was acquainted with an attorney called Scammahorn. Apparently, it did not hamper him in his practice.” Ominis smiled at the reminiscence, and he adjusted a bit so Sebastian’s face would fit perfectly against his cheek. “And how could I forget? I was scared out of my wits by that gate, that first summer I spent with you. Anne convinced me that there was some horrid local legend about a tall, thin man that stood and shook that gate, who knew where you were in an instant if you ever spoke about him, and every time the two of us walked by alone, she said she actually spotted him, and there was some hogwash explanation for why my wand couldn’t detect him…it took me far longer than I’d care to admit to realize I’d been had, so I was completely petrified to walk that way alone. …You know, speaking of, I’m told that it’s quite distinctive. My navigation spell, that is. If we plan to be as secretive as all that, we’ll need some strategy to disguise it. Assuming we’d like me to know where I’m going, that is, which I will admit that I’m biased toward.”

It had been too long since he had fun, or even really thought about having fun. Much too long. He had forgotten that it ever came naturally to him. Perhaps it didn’t, and it was something that could only arise in him at Sebastian’s provocation. He felt like the moon to Sebastian’s sun, shining in his own right only by reflecting the other’s light. He did take pride in the fact that he seemed to rehydrate into a proper person and become interesting again rather quickly as soon as he had access to his most beloved friend.

“I am sorry, though. I could never breed Kneazles. I would want to keep all of the kits. Couldn’t stand to be rid of them. Although I fear that I would be too skilled at writing pretentious descriptions for regular potions or teas.”

 

[Soul_]

He curled closer as Ominis adjusted, grateful for the way their bodies just seemed to fit—as if every inch of tension between them knew it could ease, just here. He took a deep breath between laughing softly. " you know I don't think I could.the moment I saw them I wouldn't be able to give them up"

But then Ominis told the story of Anne and the gate, and something in Sebastian went soft in that aching, nostalgic way that caught in his throat and lingered behind his eyes. “Oh Merlin, I’d forgotten she did that,” he said, smiling into Ominis’s skin. “She kept that up for months, too. Every time we went out, she made it more elaborate. Said the tall man’s bones creaked when the air turned too still, like some dreadful warning. You’d go quiet and hold your wand so tightly I thought it’d snap.”

He chuckled, but there was something misty in it, too. “You were the bravest one of us, really. Scared half to death and still came with us every time. I reckon that’s still true.” He let the quiet settle for a moment, running one hand slowly down Ominis’s back, grounding himself there. “As for the navigation charm—we’ll figure something out. If we have to pretend you’re some haughty eccentric who refuses to walk without your ‘auric compass’ or whatever ridiculous term we coin, then so be it. I’ll draw as much attention to myself as necessary to keep you unnoticed.” He smirked faintly. “One of us has always been louder, after all.”There was such an effortless fondness in his voice now, the kind that lived in the bones and never truly left, no matter how many years passed

 

[clostridium]

Ominis laughed and threaded his fingers higher up Sebastian’s scalp. When the other man spoke, his voice reverberated through Ominis as well, and it lulled him into a state of even deeper relaxation. He was largely limp aside from his arms; he refused to stop clinging to Sebastian’s back. Sebastian felt so relaxed… it had been a long time since Ominis has seen him this way. Ever since Anne had taken ill, there had been so much tension in him. Ominis had been unable to help him, for the first time in their lives. Things had been so cold, and so strange.

“Oh, Sebastian, you’re absurd,” he laughed, “I am not particularly brave. You are just kind to me. Sweet to me. So much so that you cannot even see it, you think it is normal, or…deserved by me. But it is only because you are kind.”

Ominis loved how ready Sebastian always was to workshop solutions to any problem. The adoration that welled up in his voice dissolved Ominis into a quavering puddle and made his heart flutter in his throat. It was exhausting to worry about everything that went wrong in the world on his own. He was mentally completely exhausted, and he had been for years. Creative solutions didn’t spring readily to mind when he barely had the will to feed himself before dragging himself to work. There was a spark in Sebastian that oiled the gears in his mind until he could begin to think straight again.

“You know, I have actually thought, from time to time, that I might get a…really, I’m not sure. Some sort of pet. I’m not certain that I could take on the responsibility at this point in my life, though. Perhaps once I calibrate my auric compass I’ll be able to get my life in order enough to do something like that.” Ominis smiled against Sebastian’s cheek.

 

[Soul_]

Sebastian’s arms tightened gently around Ominis’s waist, not in warning, but in quiet insistence—like he could physically keep him from curling in on himself, from shrinking down into the corners of his own sentences. His cheek stayed pressed to Ominis’s temple as he murmured, “You’re doing it again.”

His voice was soft but firm, the kind of warmth that wasn’t afraid to carry weight. “Making yourself small. Like you’re just lucky to be treated with decency. Like you’ve done nothing to deserve any of it. You’ve always seen everyone else so clearly—it’s maddening, really, the way you do it. But when it comes to yourself, you get everything turned backwards.” He pulled back just enough to nudge their foreheads together, not quite demanding eye contact, but anchoring Ominis there with him. “You were brave. You are. You kept showing up, again and again, even when it was hard."

Sebastian smiled faintly, something rueful in the curve of it. “So maybe you think I’m kind. Maybe I am—at least to you" of course Sebastian was nice to everyone but to Ominis he could never figure out why but from the moment they ment, Sebastian wanted to get this posh blonde's approval. Even as first years, and still now. And the way Ominis looked at him he wanted to feel like he deserved that look at ar Ominis deserved it too. Even when Sebastian was a bloody wreck of a person Ominis stayed. Now Sebastian was starting to recognize that feeling but shoved it down to hide. The two just now started talking. Gods what is wrong with me? " im sorry pardon my rants"

He sighed, letting his hand rub slow circles into Ominis’s lower back again. “So if you want a pet, you’ll get a pet. And if you need me to help feed it when you forget, or cast a thousand cleaning charms because it shreds the furniture—fine. I’ll do it. We’ll calibrate your compass together. Maybe even chart a few new stars while we’re at it.” He paused, letting the silence fill in their closeness before he added quietly, “You don’t have to carry everything alone anymore. You don’t have to start over alone either. I want to be here. Even if it’s just for nonsense schemes and talking about Kneazles we’ll probably never buy.” He smiled " we have time to think of more you know."

 

[clostridium]

It was difficult to listen when he was complimented, especially when he knew it was sincere. It had been hard when he was in school, when he had been a consummate overachiever, panicking over anything less than perfect marks. He was not naturally gifted when it came to school; he was bang average, and it took him plenty of time and effort to plug through his papers and do as well as he wanted to do. He had never felt like a natural at anything, but his professors had readily praised his dedication to his studies, and he scored above-average marks. This, of course, had never been enough in his own mind, so the encouragement felt hollow. After all, he had his parents’ example to compare himself to, and, since nothing had ever been effortless, he always seemed to fall short. At first, he developed a bit of a complex, becoming convinced that people were just openly lying to him. When he had met Sebastian, he hadn’t been particularly friendly. He was supposed to be quiet and aloof, after all. It took him a few months to warm up to his exuberant new schoolmate, who quickly declared them to be friends, despite Ominis’s stilted mannerisms and all-consuming nerves. It was one of a thousand on the list of things Ominis was grateful to Sebastian for, and he still didn’t understand what the other boy had seen in him so early on.

“…I apologize. I am just…not certain, sometimes. I worry. It has been…difficult. Work. My family. I’ve stopped being used to the way you…indulge me, even when I’m behaving like a fool. Thank you, by the way. I’ve not told you that recently enough. For your nonsense schemes, and your strange taste in friends. For giving me time to get my head on straight. And for being willing to come back. For absolutely everything you are. Really, Sebastian…I am grateful for you”

Ominis would usually be fast asleep by now, but he couldn’t tear himself away. As long as he could linger here and take in Sebastian’s voice, relax into the soft massaging of his back, he would do so. He would not part from this moment until it was torn away from him. His face felt a bit hot, and he hoped that it was just warmth from their mingling breaths rather than his cheeks turning pink, but he had no such luck. Cruel, he thought, that any such visible signal existed for others to interpret.

 

[Soul_]

Sebastian didn’t answer right away—not with words. He just held Ominis a little tighter, pressed a slow, steady kiss into the edge of his hair, like a promise he didn’t know how to word yet. His thumb paused in its soothing path for a second, just resting over the soft curve of Ominis’s spine, anchoring them in the quiet between heartbeats.

“You don’t have to apologize,” he murmured finally, voice low and gentle. “Not for doubting. Not for worrying. Not even for calling yourself a fool—though I’ll remind you every time that you’re not.” He leaned his forehead back against Ominis’s, their breath mixing again in the tiny space between them, warm and fragile and inexplicably safe. “I know it’s been hard. You don’t have to explain it all. I see it in you. I always have. You don’t need to be perfect. You don’t even need to be sure. You just need to be here.”

A small breath of laughter escaped him, fond and bittersweet. “And I’ll take your thanks, even if you don’t owe me a single one. Though I’ll admit—it means more than I can explain, hearing it from you like that.” Sebastian let his hand drift upward, fingers curling gently around the back of Ominis’s neck, a quiet reassurance. “You don’t know how many nights I’ve wanted to hear your voice again. Not because you say anything grand or clever—though you always do—but just because it’s you. You’ve always been the one thing that made me feel like I could be better than what I was becoming.”

He pulled back only a hair’s breadth to glance toward Ominis’s face, now seeing Ominis turn just a little pink. A little smile ghosted across his lips. “You’re turning pink again " he teased lightly, not unkindly. “I always thought it was a shame you couldn’t see yourself when you did that. It’s bloody charming.” Then, a quieter murmur, almost reverent: “I’m grateful for you, too. Always have been. Even when I didn’t know how to say it right.”

 

[clostridium]

“Charming - you’re absolutely ridiculous,” Ominis said with a shake of his head and an embarrassed little laugh. The tint in his face only deepened, and he tucked his face down against Sebastian’s shoulder, unable to face him even for another moment. He tightened his grip and clung there, shutting his eyes tightly. Now that his face was concealed, he could push through the embarrassment and come up with a response that he could say without stumbling over his own words. “…It’s lucky for me that when you’re feeling a bit awkward your voice gives you away. And it’s lucky for you that I typically abide in silence rather than mentioning it.”

Ominis settled into his new position and his shoulders slumped. It was a struggle not to yawn, but it was a battle he was willing to fight so Sebastian wouldn’t have to feel like he was keeping him up. They were locked in a stalemate, each immeasurably grateful to the other but unable to cope with any gratitude aimed in their own direction. Instead of insisting, Ominis just kept up the careful motion of his hands.

“You know, I think I’d forgotten how to be cheerful. How to laugh. But you seem determined to remind me. Burying me in flattery until I give up and allow myself to be happy. …I’m not keeping you, am I? You mentioned that you would have to leave before long, and I do not want to make you take any undue risks. …Although clearly, I would prefer it if we could curl up and talk like this until we both drift off. This…is one thing, perhaps the only thing, that I think is better, now. We’ve missed one another so badly that I…do not feel like I am doing wrong by holding on to you for so long. For holding on to you, and how badly I wish never to let go.” Ominis’s voice, already quiet, was muffled until it was barely audible. There was a soft, nostalgic gentleness that flowed through his words even more heavily than did his sleepiness.

 

[Soul_]

“Well,” he murmured, “it’s lucky for me that you abide in silence, " Sebastian huffed out a soft laugh, the kind that rumbled through his chest more than it sounded, as Ominis buried his face into his shoulder. He let his cheek rest against the top of Ominis’s head, eyes falling shut as he listened—really listened—to every word like it was something precious being entrusted to him. Because it was. It always had been, with Ominis.

His fingers resumed their lazy path along Ominis’s spine, careful and slow, like he was afraid of jarring the quiet around them. He tilted his head just enough to press a fleeting kiss to Ominis’s hair. “But I’ll have you know, your laugh is worth burying you in flattery. I’ll do it again.”

The idea of leaving felt wrong. More than wrong—it felt like tearing something loose that hadn’t even finished mending. He let out a sigh, low and reluctant, and let his hand still over Ominis’s back.

“I did say I’d have to go,” Sebastian admitted, voice hushed. “And I suppose that’s still true. But…” He hesitated, then said with a little breath of a laugh, ""
He shifted only slightly, brushing his nose against Ominis’s temple. “i want to stay. Just like this. For as long as you’ll let me. If we drift off, then we drift off, and the world can bloody well wait until morning.” it was followed quickly by a sigh and a shake of his head, " but i have to sadly. I promiseill come back i might even come back early than normal" Sebastian didn't want to leave Ominis but he had to even though his heart felt crushed at the thought of it.

 

[clostridium]

“I know. I’ll be here,” Ominis said softly into his shoulder. “And I’ll be glad to see you upon your return. Although you may need to wake me. I’m certain I’ll drift off as soon as I’ve pulled the blanket over myself…although I shan’t be half as warm, or as comfortable, without you beside me, but I shall be very brave about my misfortune, and refrain from complaining as much as I would like to. My dear Sebastian…you mustn’t miss me while you are away. I can feel you preparing to. When I wake, I expect you to have selected a perfect name for our hypothetical potions-and-tea boutique, as well as something clever for an equally hypothetical pet.”

Regretfully, Ominis lifted his head, which felt twice as heavy as it had when he rested it there in the first place. He unlaced his arms from around Sebastian and sat up properly, although he only drew back by a small amount. He held Sebastian by the cheeks for a lingering moment, tracing his cheekbones over again with his thumbs. How little things changed, and how immeasurably they had shifted. Ominis did not comprehend how both could be true, but he knew that it was. They would never be who they were. They would never have the relationship that they had when they were young. Too much had changed in them, and had been changed by them. Still, even the things he had never done felt familiar, rehearsed a hundred times in dreams. The closeness, the soft kisses trailing his hairline, the crooning in his ear… it was what he had feverishly tried to banish from his mind countless nights lying on his back in the dormitory at Hogwarts, with Sebastian’s breathing across the room blanking out everything else in his mind - not because it was loud, but because it was him. He had remained effortlessly distracting for as long as they knew one another.

 

[Soul_]

Sebastian leaned into the touch, eyes fluttering shut as Ominis’s hands framed his face, the way only someone who had known him for years could hold him—unhurried, reverent, familiar. He didn’t speak for a moment, afraid that any sound might shatter the spell between them. Instead, he reached up and covered Ominis’s hands with his own, thumb brushing softly along the side of his wrist like he could somehow return the grounding calm being offered to him.

When he finally did speak, his voice was thick with affection and the quiet ache of parting, even a temporary one. “You know I will miss you, even if you tell me not to. Especially if you tell me not to. I’ve always been awful at following rules when they come from you.”

He cracked a tired smile, eyes searching Ominis’s face, drinking him in like he wouldn’t see him for days instead of hours. “I’ll be back before you know it. You won’t even have time to miss me properly—and if you do, well, I’ll expect to hear all your complaints when I walk through the door. Dramatic sighing. Heartfelt accusations. Maybe even a fainting spell, if I’m lucky.” though Sebastian wouldnt dare wake him up.

He leaned in and pressed the softest kiss to Ominis’s forehead, just between his brows. “I’ll have a name for the shop. Something ridiculous and charming that you’ll hate but secretly find endearing. And the pet will have an even worse name. We’ll need to balance the aesthetic somehow.”

Reluctantly, he drew back far enough to stand, but not before he let his fingers slip once more through Ominis’s hair, combing it back with the kind of ease that could only come from years of knowing someone’s edges. “Sleep well, Ominis. Dream something strange and wonderful. " Sebastian smiled softly as he pulled away slowly and stood up looking to the time.

 

[clostridium]

Ominis chewed lightly on the inside of his cheek. He had the wild idea of leaping up, clinging to him, and asking him to stay and sleep beside him. He did get to his feet, but he kept lingering by the couch, remaining apart. He wished he had his wand; it was disconcerting to part from Sebastian and not know exactly where they were in relation to one another. It was a stark contrast to feeling every little move Sebastian made, knowing every spot of tension or errant heartbeat. He thought that he might be happy forever if he could wake up with Sebastian’s head rested over his heart. No, what was he thinking? This was why he had to keep apart for so long. They feel so firmly into one another’s orbit, but Ominis was confident that it meant something different to him than it did to Sebastian.

“I will endeavor to fill my mind with only the strangest and most wonderful at your request…even as you flagrantly neglect my direction not to miss me. Oh well. I cannot expect perfection. If I awaken to your smile and a name so absurd that I’m offended, I shall be very pleased. If you…you know, if you return, and I am still sleeping, you can feel free to…you know, erm…” Ominis shifted his weight to one side, looking painfully awkward. “Lie down. As well. You know, there is plenty of room, and lying beside one another is nothing new. Or wake me, just…please do not linger in the next room feeling out of place. I look forward to seeing you again when you return.”

Ominis raised his hand to cheek level for humorous emphasis.

 

[Soul_]

Sebastian’s smile softened into something almost unbearably tender as he watched Ominis fidget through the invitation, all stammering earnestness and stubborn bravery. For a moment, he wanted nothing more than to close the space between them, to tuck himself into Ominis’s side and never leave. He nearly did. Instead, he huffed a warm, quiet laugh and reached out to gently squeeze Ominis’s raised hand, thumb brushing lightly over his knuckles. “You're hopeless," he said fondly. "You make it so hard to leave, you know that?"

He lingered just a heartbeat longer, savoring the sight of him—rumpled, pink-cheeked, looking like something out of a dream he wasn't allowed to keep. Then, before he could do anything reckless like abandon his responsibilities entirely, he gave Ominis’s hand one last squeeze and stepped back. “I’ll be back before you even start missing me properly,” he promised, voice low and warm with the certainty of it. “Don’t wear yourself out planning my public shaming over the shop name.”

With that, he turned toward the fireplace, grabbing a pinch of Floo Powder from the dish on the mantle. He cast one more glance over his shoulder, just to see Ominis standing there, the image of home and every foolish thing Sebastian had ever wanted. He threw the powder down, stepped into the green flare of flames, and called out clearly, “The Bubbling Cauldron!” In a whoosh of emerald light, he was gone—off to another few hours of potions-brewing drudgery, his heart stubbornly tethered to the boy he’d left behind.

 

[clostridium]

Ominis swallowed and held his hand against his chest. It felt incredibly warm even after Sebastian had let it go. The fire surged and then abated, and he was alone in the room. It felt incredibly empty in the flat, and incredibly quiet. He stood beside the hearth for a few moments in silence before he turned, collected his wand from the kitchen, and shuffled into the bedroom. He sighed, standing in the doorway, and clambered into bed. The mattress was cold, and he curled onto his side, bringing his knees almost all the way up to his chest. Sebastian…how could he have been apart from him for so long? How could he have managed to stand it? Now that he had been reminded of how easy things could feel, it was a wonder that he had held on for so long by himself.

It didn’t take long before Ominis fell asleep. He didn’t sleep particularly soundly - he never did - but at the very least he looked comfortable, buried in a heap of covers. He had always had a problem falling and staying asleep, but it was completely impossible if he wasn’t entombed beneath, at the very least, a heavy blanket and a substantial comforter, under which he tended to completely bury himself, including his head. The only place that he had ever successfully slept soundly without being buried beneath too many covers was the Undercroft, in which he could nap without anything at all for reasons he had never actually interrogated too deeply. Tonight, he did not dream, which was always welcomed. He only dreamt, or remembered his dreams, about a third of the time, but when he did, it was bad.

 

[Soul_]

The Bubbling Cauldron was quiet in the way a living thing might be when dozing: the low hum of brewing cauldrons, the occasional drip of condensation sliding down copper sides, the muffled creak of the old wood underfoot. Sebastian moved through it almost automatically, measuring, bottling, labeling, his sleeves pushed back and his fingertips faintly stained.

Mr. Wrennick shuffled in and out, chattering about the weather and customers’ brewing disasters. Normally Sebastian would just nod along—polite but distant—but today felt different. Lighter. He laughed—a real, short bark—and Wrennick beamed like he’d seen a rare creature before saying something Sebastian missed entirely.

Flustered, Sebastian ducked back toward the shelves, pretending to busy himself. But truthfully, he wasn’t really there at all. Half of him—maybe more—was still back at the flat, where he'd left Ominis curled up, warm and brave enough to show how much he cared. He missed him. It was ridiculous, wasn’t it? Barely an hour apart, and Sebastian already felt the absence like an ache under his ribs. Every time he glanced toward the window, it wasn’t to check the weather—it was to imagine how quickly he could throw off his apron and run home.

He tried to shake it off, lining up vials and stirring cauldrons. But every stirring circle felt like a clock winding down until he could leave. He missed Ominis's sleepy smile, the quiet way he mumbled about everything and nothing. He wasn’t used to this kind of missing—softer, sweeter, but heavier too. It made him want to laugh and cry at once. Work dragged on. Sebastian grew quieter, lost in thought, nicking his fingers a few times with the knife. He bandaged the cuts quickly, more annoyed at the delay than the pain.

Finally, the work day ended. His flat was close enough to run to, though the mess inside barely registered. He threw clothes into two small cases, grabbed his wand—the one he hadn’t used in years—and, with a shaking hand, sent it off to Ominis with a simple spell.

Then he ran straight back to the shop, slipping into the Floo to go home. At last, Sebastian crossed the threshold of Ominis’s flat. It was silent. He found Ominis fast asleep in bed, and, careful not to wake him or dirty the sheets, Sebastian sat quietly on the edge of the bed, finally still.

 

[clostridium]

Ominis did not wake when Sebastian appeared in the fireplace, or when he stepped on the creaky board at the threshold of his room, but when Sebastian sat down on his bed and his weight shifted, he blinked himself awake in the warm darkness. For a split second, he was terrified, but he realized that it had to be Sebastian. He struggled, slowly and clumsily to get his head out of the comforter and propped himself up on an elbow. He was still only half awake, and he looked it. He was bleary-eyed, and his hair stuck out at odd angles like he had been rolling in straw and it was clinging to his head with static. There was a pattern pressed into the side of his face from where his cheek had been resting on a button. A crooked, sleepy smile rose on his face.

“Sebastian.” There was a quietly croaky note in his voice, and he rubbed his cheek. “You’re back. What time is it? It’s…ah, I’m happy you are here. I am happy that…mh. I am…not ready to awaken. Ugh.”

Ominis flopped backwards and yawned, then stretched his legs. He rolled on his side and nudged Sebastian playfully with one leg. He let his eyes fall closed again and he smiled sleepily at him. He was absurdly glad to have him there, to wake up to his quiet presence in his room. He could imagine walking up like this every day, knowing that someone was there beside him that cared about him. This place - any place - could feel like a home.

 

[Soul_]

Sebastian couldn’t help but smile—one of those soft, helpless ones he didn’t even try to hide. He watched as Ominis clumsily tried to prop himself up, hair a mess, voice rough with sleep, and thought he’d never seen anything so stupidly endearing in his life.He reached out without thinking, smoothing Ominis’s messy hair back from his forehead with a careful hand.

“I’m sorry I woke you,” he said, voice low, almost a whisper, as though afraid to shatter the soft peace between them. “It’s four-ish. Should’ve just slipped in quiet, but…” He trailed off, thumb brushing lightly over the crease still imprinted on Ominis’s cheek.

"Go back to sleep," he said, voice low and fond. "I'm not going anywhere." He reached out, almost without thinking, brushing his fingers lightly through the messy hair sticking up in every direction, trying to smooth it down—though he didn’t really mind it the way it was.

"I’ll be here when you wake up properly," Sebastian murmured, his thumb gently tracing the edge of Ominis’s hand where it rested against the blanket. "Get some more rest, love. You deserve it."

 

[clostridium]

Ominis yawned and settled back in, drowsily appreciating the sound of Sebastian’s voice. Love. Had Sebastian ever called him that before? If he had, how had Ominis withstood it? The only way he felt capable is withstanding it now was the fact that he wasn’t awake enough to be confident that that had even been what he had heard. He felt as if he were floating in an aura of heat, buoyed up by Sebastian’s quiet voice. As nice as it felt, he wanted to force himself to wake up so they could spend a few hours together before he had to drag himself up and be responsible.

“No, force me to wake, it shall be much simpler. Be loud, or…something. Otherwise, you must lie down. It…would make me happy, if you would lie down.” Ominis mumbled softly, and he ran his hands through his hair, then forced himself to sit all the way up. He leaned over and rested his head on Sebastian’s shoulder, smiling dreamily. He retrieved Sebastian’s hand with both of his and pressed it against his chest. “There. We can both be awake, even though I am nearly asleep. Does that appeal? Or…are you hungry?”

 

[Soul_]

Sebastian let out a quiet, breathless laugh, the kind that barely made it past his throat, more air than sound. He turned his hand where Ominis had placed it, splaying his fingers lightly over the steady beat of Ominis’s heart, feeling the slow, drowsy rhythm under his palm. His smile softened at the sensation, at the easy trust of it. It struck him how familiar this all felt — not because they had done it a thousand times before, but because he had imagined it enough to make it second nature.

He’d called Ominis love so many times over the years, but always in passing — when Ominis was distracted, or stressed, when Sebastian knew he would be too focused or too stubborn to notice. He would brush it off, never realizing how much Sebastian ment it. Now, with Ominis half-asleep against him, too soft and too warm to overthink it, Sebastian wanted to say it properly. Say it when Ominis could really hear him.

But not yet. Not when he looked so peaceful.

“I’m not hungry,” he murmured, his voice low, as if speaking too loudly might scare the moment away. He tilted his head just enough to brush his temple against the messy tangle of Ominis’s hair. “Even if I was, it could wait. Anything could wait but this.” He closed his eyes for a moment, breathing him in — the faint, clean scent of him, something warm and grounding. It tugged at something deep inside Sebastian, something he didn’t have a name for, something that made his chest ache and his hands linger.

“If you’re nearly asleep, that’s alright,” he said quietly, tilting his head to rest more firmly against Ominis’s. “I’m perfectly content to just sit here and hold you, if you’ll let me.” His thumb moved absently over the fabric of Ominis’s shirt, slow and soothing, drawing little meaningless patterns he didn’t think about. He was still learning how to do this — how to be gentle without feeling like he was grasping too tightly, like he would break it.

“You don’t have to be awake for me to be happy, you know,” he added after a moment, the words barely above a whisper. “You just have to be here.” And Merlin, did he mean it. In a world where everything else seemed temporary, fragile, this — Ominis’s steady breathing, the slow pulse beneath his hand, the way their bodies fit so easily against each other — this felt permanent. Like coming home.

 

[clostridium]

“I’ve got to be awake to hear your voice,” Ominis muttered. He tucked his head closer to Sebastian’s chest and scooted a little closer. He held Sebastian’s hand firmly in place, but he was otherwise mostly willing to go limp and let himself sag sleepily in place. He was beginning to wake up, but he wasn’t hurrying himself along by any means. This sort of comfort had been lost to him, neither a fixture of his childhood or something he allowed himself to seek in adulthood. When his dreams had been kind to him in the past, they showed him images like this - himself, wrapped up with Sebastian, free from the pressures of life and enveloped in an aura of safety and gentleness. He hoped, after everything, that he could provide Sebastian with that same feeling. He seriously suspected, from the reverent, adoring way he spoke, that this was the case. Sebastian was talented at putting on a show, but never to this degree. Affection surged up in his heart as he thought about how happy his dear friend seemed. It was happiness that he had felt guilty wishing for, both for himself and for Sebastian. How, in that moment, could he perceive the reason for his overwhelming guilt, but still fail to feel any of it? All of it was crowded out by the bliss of being reunited again.

Sebastian’s hand anchored him in place, and he clung insistently to it. He smelled strongly of herbs, which was pleasant and familiar. There was a sharp, pungent note - mugwort? It shouldn’t have been so pleasant, but it was. Lightly, he pushed at Sebastian’s chest.

“Perhaps you should lie down. Just…here. Drowse with me. We can speak right here, together. And you can become as half-asleep as I.” Ominis pushed lightly against his chest once more, and his smile shone in the dark of the room.

 

[Soul_]

Sebastian let out a soft hum, the sound vibrating lightly under Ominis’s cheek where he was tucked against him. He let Ominis push at him without resistance, smiling quietly at the insistence. How could he ever refuse him anything, especially like this — when Ominis wasn’t hiding how much he wanted him close? “All right, lov-erm-Ominis,” he murmured, voice thick with affection. “You win.”

Sebastian smiled against Ominis’s hair, feeling the way his heart beat a little faster just having him this close. When Ominis nudged him again, Sebastian let himself be guided down without a fight, moving carefully to lie beside him, boots abandoned at the side of the bed. He curled close without thinking, slipping an arm snugly around Ominis’s waist and tugging him gently in. Sebastian sighed — a low, content sound — like every muscle in his body was finally allowed to relax. “You’re so beautiful when you’re sleepy,” he breathed, voice nearly lost to the dark. “I think you could ask anything of me right now, and I’d do it without a thought."

He pressed his forehead lightly against Ominis’s hair, breathing in that faint trace of him, the lingering scent of sleep and something clean and soft. “I’ll drowse with you,” Sebastian whispered, a smile in his voice. " and talk your ear off"

 

[clostridium]

Ominis flushed faintly pink, and a smile rose on his face, looking unusually natural there. He rarely felt like a smile suited his face. The motion usually felt a bit unnatural; it was much simpler to maintain his tense, slightly pinched expression, which seemed to slither back onto his face whenever he wasn’t paying specific attention to it. In that moment, however, he felt blissfully free of tension, and he didn’t have to decide or go to any degree of effort to look perfectly contented. He was. He was resting well, and he had something to smile about.

“I look forward to hearing it,” Ominis said softly. “Talk my ear off. Talk my ear off, Sebastian, my dear friend. I love to hear you speak. Calling me beautiful. Absolutely…ridiculous. You are far more beautiful. Your lovely eyes…you mustn’t make me offers by which I am too tempted.”

Ominis released Sebastian’s hand and wrapped his arms around Sebastian’s waist in turn, then pressed his cheek softly against his shoulder. His eyes fell shut again and he sighed, although his soft, quiet sound could not quite match up to Sebastian’s.

“You know…I may ask you…if you’d like…to kiss me.” The words tumbled out of Ominis before he could consider them too carefully. When he realized what he had just said, he froze, and he swallowed the lump in his throat. Perhaps he was quiet enough that Sebastian hadn’t heard him. He hoped so - if Sebastian had heard him, what would he do? Would he respect him? Would he be surprised? Upset? Pull away? Had he ruined absolutely everything? No - he was quiet. Sebastian probably hadn’t heard. He couldn’t have heard. He had just got him back - he couldn’t lose him again just because of his poor impulse control.

 

[Soul_]

Sebastian barely caught the words, half-lost in the quiet warmth between them, the slow beat of Ominis’s breathing against his side. He heard the soft spill of them, like a secret — and for a moment he thought he had imagined it, spun it out of his own desperate wanting. But he heard kiss and assume on the cheek being a bit dense. Still, Sebastian smiled. He turned his head slightly and pressed a kiss — light and lingering — against Ominis’s flushed cheek, his hand smoothing comfortingly up and down Ominis’s back.

"You’re too good to me, you know," he murmured against his skin, voice low and fond. He was sure it had just been sleepy nonsense, something Ominis wouldn’t even remember saying. But then…something tugged at him. A sense, however small, that maybe it *had* meant something more. Ominis had stilled in his arms, tension creeping back into his shoulders.

Sebastian leaned back just enough to glance down toward him, though Ominis’s eyes were closed. His voice, when he spoke, was a whisper, careful and earnest."Love…" Sebastian brushed his knuckles against Ominis’s jaw, coaxing him gently. wirds seeming to slip out even when Sebastian wanted to shut up. "Did you mean something else? was that what you was asking for?"

He waited there, heart thudding a little too fast, hoping he hadn’t misstepped, praying he hadn’t ruined the fragile, precious thing they were finally beginning to build. “I’m sorry if I didn’t understand right away," he added, a little sheepishly. "You know I’m a bit slow sometimes when it comes to things that actually matter." His thumb stroked lightly over Ominis’s cheek, reassuring. "But if you meant it…if you meant it, just say the word..."

 

[clostridium]

Ominis’s eyes opened slowly, shining, barely visibly, in the low light emanating from the curtained window. His lips parted, intending to speak, but his jaw snapped shut again as he forced himself to stop. The spot on his cheek where Sebastian’s lips had brushed felt like it was glowing with heat, and little tingles followed the path of his gentle fingers along Ominis’s jawline. His nerves were at an all-time high, an extreme contrast to how pleasantly drowsy he had been only moments before. Each of them were perched on the razor’s edge between safety and risk, and there was a perilous wind blowing against Ominis, kicked up into a wild frenzy by the whispered love, by the caress against his jaw, by the way Sebastian still whispered like there was a lay chance that Ominis was going to drift back to sleep as if he hadn’t returned.

The note of hope in Sebastian’s voice was enough to twist Ominis’s innards up in knots. He hoped, it seemed, for the same thing Ominis did. The soft warmth that surrounded them, that soft, eager way Sebastian spoke - all of it reverberated out to form an iridescent aura, pushing Ominis’s fear to a space outside his body. He still knew that it was there, but he did not feel it as something that came from within him. Ominis reached up and held on, painfully softly, to Sebastian’s cheek.

“…I know,” Ominis said, with a nervous, croaky little note to his voice. He was trying to tease him lightly, but he sounded as if he had just been kicked in the stomach. “I think that you understood, Sebastian. I believe you’ve just…missed.”

Ominis’s thumb brushed across Sebastian’s lips, and he leaned up slowly, kissing him with painful tentativeness, lips barely touching. His heart was hammering so loudly he was afraid the neighbors would hear, and he pulled back, so tense that lying beside him was like lying next to a board.