The Person Above Rolled a 1

[PatriasLover]

the cup shattars in your hand and throat, and you bleed out from the inside, and your stomach said eats a hole through your floor, landing on the baybe in the apartment below you

I tell the girl I have a crush on that I love her, but role a one

 

[mediae]

you get frienzoned (also, relate to that comment far too much XD)

try to roll a one, but i roll a one

 

[PatriasLover]

you have destroyed the universe. the number one disappears from existence, all hydrogen atoms disappear, all numbers seace to exist.... reality is destroyed

the thread is done, good job, you broke it

 

[PatriasLover]

i try to re-start the threat, but role a one

 

[Superfly47]

You can't restart the thread because it's still going on.

I try to read a book, but roll a one.

 

[PatriasLover]

you get a papercut on your eyes. you are also illiterate, this was the only copy of a book, it had the cure to cancer, and your blood ruined it.

i try to ask my parents to use my preferred pronouns but role a one

 

[stennie]

Your parents misunderstand your request, and now only speak to you/refer to you by using some kind of dead language that you cannot find any references for anywhere.

I try to summon the Goatman, but I roll a 1.

 

[Superfly47]

Instead you turn into a goat.

I try to relax but roll a one.

 

[PatriasLover]

you may not sleep, there are monsters nearby

I attempted to become a very wealthy oil tycoon, but rolled a one

 

[Superfly47]

You dig a deep hole that gets so much oil that you drown in it.

I invent a flying robot but roll a one.

 

[.Arteries.]

your robot is afraid of the sky, and instead explores the bottom of the ocean for the rest of its days

i try to get a role in a musical but i roll a 1

 

[Superfly47]

(As long as the robot is happy, then I am happy)

You are about to get the role, but a competitor for the role hires an evil fairy to turn you into a mute.

I wish I was a parrot but roll a one.

 

[PatriasLover]

you are a minecraft parot and eat cookies

I attempt to die, but role a wone

 

[Superfly47]

(I love cookies!)

You jump out of a building, but you hit a window washing crane and become paralyzed.

I try to flush the toilet but roll a one.

 

[PatriasLover]

the shark in the sewer system leaps out and eat's your face

I try to become king, but role a one

 

[pinetr33]

you become the king of a kingdom that’s buried in debt. everyone blames you and storms your castle in a revolt.

i try to win over the bbeg with an inspiring speech about the power of friendship, but i roll a 1…

 

[The Waluigist Priestess]

The speech gets overwritten with Waluigi memes

I try to do an impression of Waluigi but rolled a one

 

[stennie]

Charles Martinet himself instantaneously teleports to your location and punches you square in the jaw. How dare you try to steal the voice of a god from his throat.

I try to write a bad fanfic on purpose, but I roll a 1.

 

[The Waluigist Priestess]

It turns out to be an AMAZING fic.

(ow)
I try to fail at dating Waluigi and roll a 1

 

[stennie]

Not only are you now dating Waluigi, but you've replaced Princess Peach as the primary princess character (or prince/ruler, whatever fits you best) and Waluigi is now the main character of the series. Congratulations! I hope you're better at Bowser-Evasion than Peach was.

I try to go order some coffee, but I roll a 1.

 

[PatriasLover]

you spill the burning coffee on your face, and in your pain, you trip in front of a car

I try to tame a squirle but role a one

 

[The Waluigist Priestess]

Squirrel or Squirtle?

SQUIRREL: The squirrel stole your nuts and you died.

Squirtle: It drowned you

I try to convince Bowser to kidnap me and roll a 1

 

[stennie]

Bowser is extremely intimidated by your enthusiasm. Somehow, you end up kidnapping Bowser, instead.

I play UNO for the first time, and I roll a 1.

 

[The Waluigist Priestess]

I unleash all the draw 4 cards on you first turn and win immediately

I try to NOT become the Easter Platypus and roll a 1

 

[stennie]

You fail and become the Easter Platypus. On the bright side, that's an infinite amount of shrimp you've got, now.
As for if Waluigi's gonna be able to turn you back, I guess you'll see in time.

(I trusted u lmao)
I try to get a sponsorship from Raid: Shadow Legends, but I roll a 1.