The Person Above Rolled a 1

[TheFatherofSniping]

the dishes were made out of sodium and now you have no hands

i pick up 100$ but roll a 1

 

[CherryTart]

You pick up a dollar with two 0's written in sharpie in next to the one, and are arrested for owning counterfeit money.

I try to walk to school but roll a 1.

 

[TheFatherofSniping]

you trip over your own foot and crack your skull on the pavement

i sit down but roll a 1

 

[Daisie]

Maybe try not sitting down on the portal leading directly to Hell next time.

I try to fail at life. I rolled a 1.

 

[DavidHilm]

You instead find your true calling in life and motivate billions to live their lives in a better way than they had.

I try to make dinner for my kids but roll a 1.

 

[TheFatherofSniping]

you accidentally make your kids for dinner and die of guilt.

i try to call my friend but roll a 1

 

[Dr.Nekoshu]

You actually call your age old rival who uses the call to learn your location, you’re dead within the week.

I try to steal a button but I roll a 1

 

[Idea]

You accidentally press the big red button of self-destruction

I try to go on a diet but roll a 1

 

[Onmyoji]

You get attacked by the diet food that rolled 20.

I am trying to clean my room but roll a 1.

 

[official clown business]

Your mother is coming home after weeks of travelling. It's family tradition to always clean up your room and everything around it before a relative comes back from a long trip. But today was different.

In only 20 seconds, you somehow managed to destroy the antique shelf, the family photo, and even your mother's most prized vase. And that was the story of how you got disowned all those years ago.

I try to chew some gum but roll a 1.

 

[Idea]

You put the gum in your mouth, but quickly realize it was not a gum at all, it was a tipod! It takes you a moment, but you decide not to be cool with the times and spit it out, then quickly attempt to call an ambulance, but the person who answer the emergency call is a teenage girl who hungs up on you for "being so lame", and as you watch your life fade away, you can hear the angels and the spirits of your family snickering at the silly way you died.

I tried drawing but rolled a 1.

 

[BackSet]

You draw a self portrait perfectly but it comes to life, kills you, and takes your place.

I tried to evolve but rolled a 1.

 

[Idea]

You end up devolving into a magikarp instead and are stuck forever as that thing.

I try making a phone version for my codes but roll a 1

 

[BackSet]

You try to make a phone version of your codes. That's it. That is your punishment. Basically hell.

I rolled a 1 but rolled a 1.

 

[Onmyoji]

You didn't realise it, but you actually rolled a 20.

I try to draw and roll a 1.

 

[StrixDesmodus]

The stick figure you draw comes to life and bites your hand.

I set a trap, baited with 'smores, and roll a 1.

 

[iWriteAboutNothing]

You forget about the trap a day later and end up trapping your cat. The beatdrop was lit.

I try to play the trumpet, but roll a 1.

 

[Shiyonichi]

You manage to shatter all the windows and everyone’s eardrums within a mile radius.

I prepare some coffee and roll a 1

 

[StrixDesmodus]

You accidentally make Eeffoc.

I attempt to eat a slice of cheesecake.

 

[iWriteAboutNothing]

It would have been delicious, had it not been squashed between its plate and the floor.

I try to wash my hands, but roll a 1.

 

[StrixDesmodus]

A leech falls out of the faucet and latches onto your hand.

I try to give a busking musician some money, but roll a 1.

 

[iWriteAboutNothing]

You miss and the coins fall into the hole of the guitar the musician is playing, making annoying buzzing noises and adding excessively aggressive hi-hats to the relatively soft tune of "Last Kiss" by Pearl Jam, throwing off both the musician's rhythm and several strings as he scowls menacingly from his corner.

I try to take the subway to work, but roll a 1.

 

[StrixDesmodus]

You take the Subway sandwich shop to work with you.

I try brushing a horse's coat, but roll a 1.

 

[iWriteAboutNothing]

You barely move the brush one stroke before the horse's suede coat falls off and she gives you a very annoyed look, having been using the now-soiled coat to stay warm in the bitter winter cold.

I try to order a plane ticket, but I roll a 1.

 

[official clown business]

You order a plane ticket to Madagascar. Ok, so what's the problem? Just sleep off the flight for a few hours and you'll be there in no time.

You instantly wake up and realize: oh crap, there are no airports in Madagascar!

After a moment, you decide to get up to ask the pilot what the hell is going on, when suddenly you hear the sound of the intercom.
"Attention all passengers, we are now flying over the Bermuda Triangle."

I try to make a cup of tea from scratch, but I roll a 1.