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Futuristic The Multiverse Theory OOC

Seraph Darkfire Seraph Darkfire I'm still participating! I should have my CS up... tomorrow? Yeah, some time tomorrow. I've just run into a few... Let's just call them creative difficulties that have sort of slowed down progress so far.
 
Seraph Darkfire Seraph Darkfire I am working on my Character Sheet now, I hope to get it done in the next couple days. I tried to use the formatting on the android app but it was being temperamental so I am on my PC now :D. So sorry for the delay!
 
It is alright. I am sure everyone has their circumstances. As long as everyone is still interested, that is fine with me.

As for those who can't participate or who have lost interest, that is fine as well. If you ever have time or decide that you do want to be a part of the roleplay, post here and we'll see what we can do.
 
Pondy Pondy

Lets see, I like your character, but there isn't enough information on the species. How did they become unified? Did they war prior to becoming one species? There also isn't a description of each race's appearance and while Braylin's appearance might serve as a basis of the Jun appearance, it doesn't say much of the other two, even if they don't exist anymore.

The point of the Universe section is to provide information on not only the species, but the history of the universe, even if it is only currently one planet. This provides a reference section for future role players who decide to make a character from your Universe.

Also, you didn't give your Universe a name.

I'd also like for you to fill out the Extra section. The additional appearance is optional of course. You are also missing the Secret Phrase mentioned in the rules, which means that you might have not read them, especially since the rules also ask for a writing sample.

Criticism over.

I was surprised by a few things, that your character had children and that he couldn't jump more than a foot. You'll have to remember that in combat.

I was surprised by the children because often enough, people never make backstories with children unless they kill them off or have them kidnapped :P
 
Seraph Darkfire said:
Pondy Pondy

Lets see, I like your character, but there isn't enough information on the species. How did they become unified? Did they war prior to becoming one species? There also isn't a description of each race's appearance and while Braylin's appearance might serve as a basis of the Jun appearance, it doesn't say much of the other two, even if they don't exist anymore.

The point of the Universe section is to provide information on not only the species, but the history of the universe, even if it is only currently one planet. This provides a reference section for future role players who decide to make a character from your Universe.

Also, you didn't give your Universe a name.

I'd also like for you to fill out the Extra section. The additional appearance is optional of course. You are also missing the Secret Phrase mentioned in the rules, which means that you might have not read them, especially since the rules also ask for a writing sample.

Criticism over.

I was surprised by a few things, that your character had children and that he couldn't jump more than a foot. You'll have to remember that in combat.

I was surprised by the children because often enough, people never make backstories with children unless they kill them off or have them kidnapped :P
Click to expand...

I did read the rules a while ago but i need to go back to them to remember the code :D

I will edit and flesh things out some more. I was deliberately shy on some information as I want there to be some discovery as the story progresses.

Thank you for the help!
 
No problem. I know how it is to want to keep certain things a secret but still need to give enough information.

That actually does remind me of another rule to add. :P
 
Alright, I've found that roleplays die because there isn't a lot of communication between participants. I would like to keep in touch with everyone so I am making a Discord channel. You don't have to join, but it'd be nice if you did. I'll post the link here as well as in the rules so everyone can find it.

https://discord.gg/mFqggz4

Pondy Pondy Grammatic Grammatic SolemnSongbird SolemnSongbird Rysesaka Rysesaka CharlesAngel CharlesAngel Petroshka Petroshka crumbelivable crumbelivable G .Guest The Empress of Ice The Empress of Ice Kiroshiven Kiroshiven @Thatonechillgirl Vagabond Spectre Vagabond Spectre @Koogs NextGenRolePlayer NextGenRolePlayer Collinbu98 Collinbu98
 
I am sorry to hear that. I was wondering where everyone was.

Try creating a character first and then build the universe off of them. That usually helps me.
 
:P Alright then. Feel free to join the Discord server in the meantime...I just checked and you are already there I think :P So welcome!
 
Reporting back in. Sorry for vanishing got roped into working at camps. Working on my stuff now.
 
Alright. Nice to see that you are here. It is understandable that you became busy. I think that once we have your character and Empress' character, we'll start.

There are a lot of other people, but it doesn't seem as though they are participating anymore.

SolemnSongbird SolemnSongbird How is your stuff coming along?

Collinbu98 Collinbu98 You as well. You two haven't talked much on the Discord.
 
SolemnSongbird SolemnSongbird It is fine, it is just nice to know that you are still part of this.

Balfnaught1 Balfnaught1 To start with, I like your character concept, but I think there needs to be some limitations, you also need to add the name :P.

First of all, I'd like to have more about his past. All we can infer from his bio is that he was made to fight. That is it, we know nothing of his motivations to fight, why does he like causing pain specifically? How was he raised before becoming nothing but a fighter. Did he have any friends that he was forced to kill at the end?

Your universe is interesting, but I also need more information on it. How did the White Forest manage to wipe out all other races? How did they figure out how to create the Homunculi? How do they create them? Is there any conflict between Humans and Homunculi?

Now to his abilities and stuff. Weapon is fine, though I'd like more information on how his suit is specially designed. Is it just damage resistant or does it have something else?

Bodily Manipulation is possible, but it has to be limited to his extremities, such as his arms and legs, nothing to extreme. Stuff like hardening his skin and bones are fine. The Toxin is a bit...iffy for me. I'll let it be, but he can't be completely immune to it. Prolonged usage should begin to do damage to him as well.

Metals in his body is a bit weird and I am not sure how that works. I'd allow this to be within the limitations of the Body Manipulation skills, but only to the limit that he can change the Iron in his blood into sharp claws over his fingers. Flexibility is fine, though it should be limited to a certain extent. His arms and legs can be the most flexible, and his body would still be flexible, but only half as much as his arms and legs.

His "Heart" shouldn't just be for his magic, it should be what helps him live. Homunculi, in most stories, have one specific point as the source of their life, Heart or Brain generally. Should it be destroyed, they quickly die. The armor around his "Heart" can't be perfect as it'll need areas where the blood vessels can pass blood to and from the heart. Healing is fine, but the bigger the wound, the longer it would take to heal.

The Blood Combustion ability sounds cool and I'll let it be. But an Undying body is a bit much for a Homunculus. I will allow accelerated healing though, to the point that he can regenerate limbs within seconds while in this state.

Him being stronger than his size is fine. But given his "Bursts" he can't be strong enough to do something without them that he could do with them.

His "Bursts" seem pretty cool as well. However, when using them, the "Heart" should be put under stress as well. Smaller locations, such as his hands and feet might actually be broken upon striking something sturdier than himself.

Being immune to poisons and toxins is fine. However, this is not fool proof as there are a wide variety of Universes with poisons his body has never been exposed to. This is a common misconception. The body can protect against specific poisons and similar poisons because it builds up anti-toxins. He has a tolerance, higher than most, making him effectively immune, but if his body was flooded with Cyanide, he isn't going to shrug it off like it isn't a problem. He won't die, but he won't be standing right either.

His combat skills are fine, though being able to sever specific nerves is also reliant on the knife as well as his skills. No matter how good you are, you aren't going to perform surgery with a butcher knife. Given that his knife is designed to be strong and durable, it will not be thin enough to cut nerves. There are technologies that have that capability though.

Your deity and the (Unchained) ability are fine, however, it can't be perfect. Beings like the Notr have the ability to cancel out both science and magic, meaning that they can temporarily halt even the powers of a Deity. There are some Deities that have the ability to specifically capture and hold one person. and what if he is sealed in a Labyrinth made from unbreakable stone? He isn't specifically imprisoned, but he can't get out either.

Overall, this universe seems more Chaotic than Order. There wasn't any specific science being done. Magic and Science are very similar in that they both can be studied and improved, but how they interact with the world is completely different.
 
Seraph Darkfire said:
SolemnSongbird SolemnSongbird It is fine, it is just nice to know that you are still part of this.

Balfnaught1 Balfnaught1 To start with, I like your character concept, but I think there needs to be some limitations, you also need to add the name :P.

First of all, I'd like to have more about his past. All we can infer from his bio is that he was made to fight. That is it, we know nothing of his motivations to fight, why does he like causing pain specifically? How was he raised before becoming nothing but a fighter. Did he have any friends that he was forced to kill at the end?

Your universe is interesting, but I also need more information on it. How did the White Forest manage to wipe out all other races? How did they figure out how to create the Homunculi? How do they create them? Is there any conflict between Humans and Homunculi?

Now to his abilities and stuff. Weapon is fine, though I'd like more information on how his suit is specially designed. Is it just damage resistant or does it have something else?

Bodily Manipulation is possible, but it has to be limited to his extremities, such as his arms and legs, nothing to extreme. Stuff like hardening his skin and bones are fine. The Toxin is a bit...iffy for me. I'll let it be, but he can't be completely immune to it. Prolonged usage should begin to do damage to him as well.

Metals in his body is a bit weird and I am not sure how that works. I'd allow this to be within the limitations of the Body Manipulation skills, but only to the limit that he can change the Iron in his blood into sharp claws over his fingers. Flexibility is fine, though it should be limited to a certain extent. His arms and legs can be the most flexible, and his body would still be flexible, but only half as much as his arms and legs.

His "Heart" shouldn't just be for his magic, it should be what helps him live. Homunculi, in most stories, have one specific point as the source of their life, Heart or Brain generally. Should it be destroyed, they quickly die. The armor around his "Heart" can't be perfect as it'll need areas where the blood vessels can pass blood to and from the heart. Healing is fine, but the bigger the wound, the longer it would take to heal.

The Blood Combustion ability sounds cool and I'll let it be. But an Undying body is a bit much for a Homunculus. I will allow accelerated healing though, to the point that he can regenerate limbs within seconds while in this state.

Him being stronger than his size is fine. But given his "Bursts" he can't be strong enough to do something without them that he could do with them.

His "Bursts" seem pretty cool as well. However, when using them, the "Heart" should be put under stress as well. Smaller locations, such as his hands and feet might actually be broken upon striking something sturdier than himself.

Being immune to poisons and toxins is fine. However, this is not fool proof as there are a wide variety of Universes with poisons his body has never been exposed to. This is a common misconception. The body can protect against specific poisons and similar poisons because it builds up anti-toxins. He has a tolerance, higher than most, making him effectively immune, but if his body was flooded with Cyanide, he isn't going to shrug it off like it isn't a problem. He won't die, but he won't be standing right either.

His combat skills are fine, though being able to sever specific nerves is also reliant on the knife as well as his skills. No matter how good you are, you aren't going to perform surgery with a butcher knife. Given that his knife is designed to be strong and durable, it will not be thin enough to cut nerves. There are technologies that have that capability though.

Your deity and the (Unchained) ability are fine, however, it can't be perfect. Beings like the Notr have the ability to cancel out both science and magic, meaning that they can temporarily halt even the powers of a Deity. There are some Deities that have the ability to specifically capture and hold one person. and what if he is sealed in a Labyrinth made from unbreakable stone? He isn't specifically imprisoned, but he can't get out either.

Overall, this universe seems more Chaotic than Order. There wasn't any specific science being done. Magic and Science are very similar in that they both can be studied and improved, but how they interact with the world is completely different.
Click to expand...

Ok. I'll make the necessary edits. Just want to clarify something about the (Unchained) ability that I didn't explain well. Its not that he can physically escape from anything, but Fate itself will conspire to free him, manipulating events in such a way that he will soon be freed
 
Ah, I see. You might want to add how he had a chance to meet his Deity in his bio as well.

Also, be aware that his ability will be less effective outside of his Universe. Deities are deities of their own Universe, but don't have much power in others. Maybe I'll have you flip a coin, or roll a dice in those situations where you are captured outside of your universe.
 
Seraph Darkfire said:
Ah, I see. You might want to add how he had a chance to meet his Deity in his bio as well.

Also, be aware that his ability will be less effective outside of his Universe. Deities are deities of their own Universe, but don't have much power in others. Maybe I'll have you flip a coin, or roll a dice in those situations where you are captured outside of your universe.
Click to expand...
That's fine. He doesn't know he's a Favored of Fate yet though. Yet another thing I must add in my edits
 
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