Corrosion
ur lite fades awey
The Meme Team is an elite and ultra super mega badass team comprised of some of the greatest warriors on the world of Badassia, a world where MLG and internet memes and other shit comes to life in a weird clusterfuck of pop culture and gaming. And LSD. And weed. Anyway, the team is led by Mountain Dew Quickscope, a prophesied hero foretold by Lord Gaben, the God of PC Gaming himself, to pwn the shit out of an ancient hacker who threatened to destroy all of existence and VAC ban him for good. Along with the legendary hero and literally the greatest sniper in all of existence, the team is also made up of three other equally-legendary warriors: Daniel Blazeit, Connor Stryke, and Kaliber Kushing, all of which have forged an unbreakable bond.
Chosen of GabenName: Mountain Dew Quickscope
'I'm the fucking main character, bitch! I'm the chosen of Gaben! If you gaze into the scope, the scope gazes back at you. Also, get noscoped!'
- Mountain to Pussyslayer during their final confrontation
Age: 19
Height: 5'11"
Hair: Black
Eyes: Glowing neon green
Personality: Cocky and confident in his abilities, Mountain is your typical MLG tryhard. He much of a trash-talking loudmouth, not afraid to vocally voice his opinions in the most offensive way possible. He loves taunting his opponents, and he often gets distracted by this. While his attitude may make him seem like he is all bark and no bite, it couldn't be further from the truth, as he is still one of the greatest warriors on the face on Badassia, not to mention the most powerful Quickscope Master of all time and Chosen of Gaben himself. Although he isn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed, he is still a natural leader and hence why he leads the Meme Team. An incredibly skilled gamer, having won basically every MLG tournament he has participated in, and a pretty decent musician.
Equipment:
- Dragon Lore: The fabled AWP in its final form. Blessed by Lord Gaben himself, this is a weapon of true power. In addition to the legendary stopping power of a stock AWP, the dragon spirit inside the rifle can propel projectiles to absurd speeds and bestow infinite range, although it is a bolt-action sniper, meaning it has a slow fire rate and needs to be reloaded after every shot. It can fire three different types of ammo: Standard, Doritos, and Nokia. The Standard ammo is a regular .338 Lapua Magnum round. The Doritos round is visually similar to a .338 caliber round, although it is coloured orange and glows. This round leaves an orange trail of spicy Doritos dust as it streaks through the air. Upon hitting a target, it explodes, sending Doritos dust everywhere, before a secondary explosive ignites the dust. Nokium rounds are the most powerful of the three. They are essentially Nokia 3310s condensed into a .338 caliber round. Thanks to the indestructible properties of nokium, the toughest material in existence, it cannot be stopped, and can punch through nintendium (one of the hardest materials known to man) with ease, passing through one side to the other without stopping and even bring down skyscrapers with one shot. Used sparingly by Mountain as he can only hold a maximum of six nokium rounds at any time.
- EXPcalibur II: A one-handed sword constructed out of ancient RAM cards. Its blade glows green with power around the edges, and leaves a visible arc with each swing. It can cut through almost anything, and is pretty much indestructible. Mountain can stab it into the ground, causing it to produce a massive shockwave. Replaced the EXPcalibur (Doritos Sword) after its destruction during the events of The Meme Team.
- KAP-40: A powerful automatic pistol with a high fire rate and damage. Deadly at close ranges, ineffective at longer ranges.
- Illuminati Shield: After defeating the Beta Illuminati, Mountain gained this piece of equipment. It is a triangular green shield of the Illuminati, and is almost indestructible. The All-Seeing Eye can open and fire a massive laser powerful enough to easily melt steel beams, although it has a rather lengthy charge up time and cooldown.
- Mountain Dew Grenades: Explosive Mountain Dew cans. Incredibly reactive and can deal heavy electric damage.
Skills:
- Instant Teleportation: Mountain can teleport instantaneously to any location within a large radius. He uses this ability to teleport-spam opponents with his sword, and uses this ability to his advantage when in combat to evade attacks and rapidly switch sniping positions.
- Enhanced Reflexes: Mountain has the reflexes of someone playing CoD on 14 sensitivity. He can see and dodge thrown projectiles like knives and arrows, and can even deflect fired bullets with his sword.
- Enhanced Strength: While not over the top, Mountain has the strength to flip a car, and can carry several dozen kilograms without effort.
- Pocket Dimension: Mountain can store any object in his back pocket, including more guns, food, and even vehicles.
- Renegerating Immortality: After officially becoming a Quickscope Master and Chosen of Gaben, Mountain gained immortality, and as such, also gained the ability to regenerate health at an incredibly fast rate, but only when out of combat.
- True MLG Form: Unleashing his True MLG form, Mountain is surrounded by a green aura which provides a massive buff to his abilities. He can fly during this time, and he becomes even stronger and faster than before, able to block and dodge attacks. His weapons also become even more powerful than they already are. However, he loses the ability to teleport, though with his massively increased speed, it shouldn't matter anyway. His eyes also glow pure green as a badass remix of Darude - Sandstorm plays in the background.
Mountain was a normal albeit highly skilled gamer who loved pwning noobs with his friend Daniel Doritos Blazeit. The two of them lived in the realm of Badassia, where everything MLG comes to life. The sun is a gigantic Dorito, the birds are airhorns, and the seas are salty from the tears of LoL players. One day, they were approached by an old man who told them that it was their destiny to stop an ancient hacker forever because their names were written in an ancient prophecy written by Gaben himself. So they went on a dew (see what I did there?) adventure. Eventually, after accidentally shooting the old man in the face and killing Thor, they found themselves in the hacker's dimension. They then battled the hacker XxXPu55ySlay3rXxX the Destroyer of Networks and managed to defeat him. However, Pussyslayer was not beat yet, and he ran away like a little bitch, vowing to pwn their asses next time.
Mountain and Daniel pursued him, gaining new weapons and defeating multiple threats along the way. Finally, after an overly long adventure through time and space and multiple universes, they managed to catch Pussyslayer. With their new weapons and powers, they prepared to defeat him once and for all. Unfortunately, Pussyslayer used the power of Ultimate Hax and very nearly defeated the two, and he almost killed Mountain until the quickscoper managed to distract him with his 500GB porn stash. Using his distraction, Mountain sliced off Pussyslayer's balls with his sword, before quickscoping him 69 times. It was only then that the hacker was defeated, and order was restored to Badassia once more.
The two, having fulfilled the prophecy, were transported to the Temple of Gaben and met Lord Gaben himself. Mountain was then granted the title of Gaben's Chosen and became the newest Quickscope Master, legendary heroes with ridiculous powers. Daniel, unfortunately, did not become a Quickscope Master as he was based around shotguns, and he failed to meet the age limit of eighteen years. He was, however, given badass new weapons and accepted into the Steam School of MLG, a prestigious trickshotting academy.
Sometime later, word had gotten out that Electronic Arts, Steam and Lord Gaben's mortal enemy, was planning to unleash the tyranny of Downloadable Content and Preordered Games to the world. Mountain was called upon to stop this threat. Reuniting with Daniel and several other heroes, they embarked on their quest into the heart of EA: Origin. The squad fought their way through swaths of Origin soldiers and made it to EA's headquarters.
Once in, the team found that EA was making a shit ton more buggy, unfinished games and planning to release all of them for a ridiculous price and including some shitty bonus if you preordered them. Just then, however, one of members of the team, some hot bitch named Fulla Shiet revealed that she was actually an Origin agent the whole time, and proceeded to stab Daniel in the back and activate the building's security systems. Fighting through all the enemy soldiers, they finally reached the top of the building, where EA's CEO's office was located.
However, Andrew Wilson, the head of EA and evilest man alive, was there to stop them. He managed to defeat the entire Steam squad except for Mountain and Daniel (because they were the main characters). However, Andrew almost managed to defeat them, and was giving Daniel a massive beatdown when Mountain unleashed his True MLG form for the first time. With this new power, he defeated Andrew Wilson for good, ending Origin and EA forever. The two decided that the shitty unfinished games must not continue to exist, and as such detonated the building's power core and blew up the entire building and much of the country with it.
Following the Fall of Origin, Mountain and Daniel decided to form a badass MLG team of only the best fighters in the world. They searched high and low, eventually finding the right fighters that matched the description: an elite Valve Anti-Cheat operative named Connor Stryke, and a young Amurican gamer who wielded the legendary Power Glove named Kaliber Kushing. Connor had participated in the Orgin Invasion of Steam and had helped Mountain, even though he was kind of a background character with little personality back then. Kaliber had fought through an entire temple of Nitenjas (basically ninjas but Nintendo) and recovered the Power Glove and defeated a powerful demon (or oni in Japanese, of you're a weeb), all because he needed replacement parts for his car. With these four members, the Meme Team was formed. While at first they had quite a lot of disagreements due to their conflicting ideals, they nonetheless managed to form a bond after going on several missions together.
A week after the founding of the Meme Team, they caught word of a group of evil console peasants plotting to nuke the world and spread consolenism known as Al-Console. Of course, not wanting to let dirty peasants take over the world, the Meme Team embarked on a quest to stop them. Along the way, they managed to take out a crime syndicate responsible for making several Steam residents go insane after making shitty, low-quality memes. After that was done, they resumed their quest, eventually infiltrating the terrorist base in Terroristan in the Middle East and destroying it, saving the world. Their heroic exploits were soon heard about, and they were hailed as heroes.
After the whole ordeal, the four purchased a modern mansion overlooking Heisenberg Lake in the countryside a fair distance from Montage City, the capital city of Steam, and lived together in their new base of operations. They also built a secret base underground, but that's a secret. The team would go on to function as a super elite force that would respond to threats around the nation.
Some time later, the four were notified by Major Faartz, the director of the Moderation and Divisional Security (MODS), the security agency of Steam, of a Ubisoft server going dark. He told them to hurry up, because the Rainbow Six Siege players were getting pissed off. And so they did, travelling to the server building. Upon entering, they noticed that everything was fine, until the team was suddenly attacked by a group of dudes dressing in Nazi apparel that was totally not stolen from Wolfenstein: The New Order. After a pretty short firefight and pwning the Nazi wannabes, Mountain came face to face with the commander, who was a generic Nazi officer with blonde hair and blue eyes. The Quickscope Master managed to kick his ass, but the officer told him that he was just 'the first of many'. The officer was then promptly copyrighted by Marvel for stealing the line from Captain America.
Puzzling over his words, the team restarted the server, and went outside to check if everything was good. However, Kaliber suddenly bumped into what seemed to be thin air, and the team uncovered a UFO-like craft hidden by a camouflage tarp. They decided to investigate, and went inside. Daniel, being the idiot that he was, decided to push all the buttons and accidentally activated the craft's self-destruct. The four managed to escape just before the UFO exploded like something out of a Bay film.
The team retrieved the remains and headed back to base, where they studied them. Connor, being the brains of the group and only sane man, made a startling discovery: the Nazis, after getting their asses kicked in World War II, made a pact with the Illuminati and escaped to the dark side of the moon, where they had constructed a bigass moonbase and had built an army, and were waiting for the right moment to invade and have their revenge on the filthy non-Aryans. This new Fourth Reich was collectively known as the Illuminazis. Now faced with the impending invasion, they called Faartz and tried to warn him, but he declared the story bullshit and called them fucking retarded, before asking them to fuck off because he was busy playing Rainbow Six Siege.
Desperate to get the warning out, the four headed to Montage themselves to personally show Faartz the evidence. Upon doing so and presenting him with the evidence, Faartz reluctantly quit his game and decided to study the files and evidence. Satisfied, the Meme Team went out for lunch.
While discussing the situation over lunch, the Illuminazis finally decided to invade with huge spaceships and upgraded versions of WWII jet aircraft for some reason. The team was forced to fend off the Illuminazis until Steam's military arrived. The Illuminazis were pushed out of Steam after a long battle that would probably be at least five Call of Duty missions. However, their work was not done yet, as while the Illuminazis were no longer on Steam, other parts of the world were still fighting them off, such as the United States of Amurica, Best Korea, and the Illuminazi's sworn enemy, Russia.
The team was ordered to travel to Amurica to assist and to meet up with the commanders of the newly-formed Anti-Illuminazi Coalition of Freedom. Travelling there on the Memejet, they were attacked by Illuminazi fighters, with some excellent piloting skills by Mountain, they managed to evade and destroy the enemy fighters, until the remainder was destroyed by Amurican fighter planes. Landing, they were greeted and briefed by General Hank Freeland. From there, they were asked to participate on an attack on an Illuminazi base with Coalition forces.
Successfully managing to destroy the base with the help of elite US Navy Special Forces group Seal Team 69, they were moved to a top secret base known as Area 5.1, which was definitely not the infamous Area 51 with a hastily-added dot after the five. There, Kaliber upgraded the Memejet and made it a single-stage to orbit space fighter craft thingy, which also meant that it was now a motherfucking space fighter. The team took off and began to travel to the moon with a space fleet built by literally every country in secret. They were met with massive opposition by Illuminazi forces, but thanks to his Star Fox skills, Mountain managed to rekt the Illuminazi fighters.
Landing inside the moonbase, the team, along with Coalition space marines, battled their way through the complex in order to destroy it from within. Reaching the central chamber, they were suddenly met with the final boss: Mecha Hitler. Hitler had been turned into a cyborg with an over-engineered robot body, laser eyes, and testicles made from steel. All the Coalition forces were immediately killed in like five seconds, because that's what unimportant characters do. Working as a team, the Meme Team, brought down Hitler for good after an incredibly long and awesome as fuck battle. The pure nazium core powering Hitler's body went critical, and the Meme Team managed to escape just in time for the core to detonate, causing the moonbase to explode and ripping off a sizable chunk of the moon with it. The aftermath pretty much made the moon look like the one in RWBY, just not as broken.
Returning to Badassia, the team were once again hailed as heroes, and the support from every government on the planet. The four returned to their home and continued their work as Mlgolia's protectors, Mountain getting several million more YouTube subscribers and a bajillion tons of weed.
Not long after, they found out that XxXPu55ySlay3rXxX had somehow managed to return to Badassia, despite having been VAC banned to oblivion. This time, he had grown more powerful than before, and wanted revenge on not only both Mountain and Daniel, but also Gaben and the entire universe. Instead of fucking around doing nothing the whole time for a thousand years like before, he was now determined to destroy the entire universe, because evil villains and shit.
The team immediately proceeded to battle him, but got rekt when he summoned his own team of powerful hackers, HotB1tch69, OBEY_globalel33t, and patriotmuricanboi1776, all of which happened to basically be evil versions of the Meme Team. With their asses kicked, Pussyslayer taunted the team, before fucking off somewhere.
Now faced with a threat even greater than ever before, the team warned the entire world to prepare, along with informing the Elder Pantheon of Gods, consisting of powerful gods such as Snoop Dogg, the God of Weed, Michael Bay, the God of Explosions, and most importantly, Lord Gaben, the most senior god and God of PC Gaming. Most of the gods decided to help by not doing much except provide them with some legendary weapons and advice. Mountain decided to reach out the other Quickscope Masters still in existence. However, Mountain found that Pussyslayer had basically used the power of hax and killed them all, leaving Mountain as the sole surviving Quickscope Master.
Just after that, Pussyslayer launched an attack on the entire world, having assembled a powerful army of hackers known as Anonymous. They proceeded to completely steamroll the world's forces, because they were OP as fuck. Most of the resistance was by other MLG teams, but they too were rekt by the hax.
In the midst of the fighting, just as the hackers were about to topple all of Steam, several gods decided to finally assist. They quickly turned the tied of battle with Snoop Dogg causing the hackers to blaze to death, Michael Bay causing everything to explode, Todd Howard forcing them to glitch from horribly bugged Bethesda games, and of course, Lord Gaben and his Steam Guardians unleashing massive steams of sales and money onto the hackers. Though that was basically all they did, since they weren't really allowed to mess with the affairs of mortals (despite the fact that not everyone on Badassia was mortal in the first place). With that done, they returned to wherever gods lived in.
Now that most of the hackers had been defeated, the Meme Team travelled to the place Pussyslayer had set up as his main base: the ruins of Origin. Deciding it was now the climax of the entire series, Pussyslayer and his team proceeded to battle the Meme Team. With Mountain in his True MLG Form, he charged at his arch-enemy, only for him to open up a portal to his dimension. Not being able to stop in time, Mountain went right into the hole (bow-chicka-bow-wow) and into the dimension. Pussyslayer then went in deep as well (ehehehehe) and closed the portal. The two then proceeded to have an epic battle that was so awesome it literally caused the fabric of the entire universe to collapse, and yet they kept on fighting, because it was awesome. As they were fighting, Pussyslayer revealed that he was actually a Quickscope Master. In fact he was the first Quickscope Master ever, but had fallen to the side of evil after having discovered the power of hax.
Finally, he managed to defeat Pussyslayer at last, as did the rest of his team defeated the rest of Pussyslayer's team. As Mountain struck the final blow, it created a rift to the Fifth Wall: the wall the separates the characters from the writer (not to be confused with the Fourth Wall, since that only separates the characters from the audience). The team then met their creator for real (or basically an avatar of him), Corrosion, aka me. He, or should I say, I, revealed that their universe was not alone, and like Marvel and DC, and a ton of universes. But instead of only having like 52 universes like DC or even infinite like Marvel, the MD&D universe had a million infinite universes. That's right, it has so many different universes it breaks the very laws of reality.
With some parting words, the rift was closed, and with basically all the evil in the world banished for good, the team would finally party hard as fuck.
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