Opinion the group rp dilemma [and so on.]

[calypso]

This is just kinda a post I was making to rant/express my current emotions about group RPs in general, and dying motivation for them. (plus kinda how I'm finding myself struggling to get RP partners, and all that jazz.)

so if you wanna read someone complaining, I'm yo gorl for the evening ! (this entire post is a call-out to no one, tis just me recounting my experiences and what I've taken from them)

Since I first started RPing many a years ago, I've found myself solely doing group RPs for the longest time, (just really started 1x1s this year, so pretty recent.) Started on Tinierme, went to Roblox, stayed on there for a while due to my lack of knowledge of other RP sites and my younger age. But I was really starting to sick of the entire roblox thing, mostly because I was growing older and I had little interest in seriously continuing to use the site. (I wouldn't mind going on it with some friends to mess around, but nothing where I'd sit around for hours RPing.)

Collectively, my little group of friends and such moved over to discord, and I liked it way more. I began to type more and more in each post, pushing myself to match with new people I met. At first, it was kinda a struggle. I was a one-liner, and I originally expressed distaste at 'paragraph' RPing. But as I started to get really into RPs, like actually into them, I found myself loving writing again and soon I was pushing the word limit on my posts each time. I ended up here by some people I don't speak with anymore, and I've just been pushing myself since. I've reached where I'm comfortable writing for each posts, which is around 600-1000 words. And I've really come to only want that in return, which makes getting a good RP for me kinda hard.

But this is about group RPs in particular, and how I'm starting to grow sick of them. It's not the formula I'm growing sick of, or how many people, but more how often they come and go, and the difficulties of communication within them. I haven't been in a group RP that got past around...five posts for me, yet. If I did, I can't recall it and all I know is they all die before then.

And it really sucks. I've started recycling OCs instead of making new ones, because I have no desire to pile on more characters if I know deep down, the group RP is just going to die in the end. Maybe it's because the GM left, leaving people uncertain where to take the plot. Players dwindle in interest, or they're simply unreliable. I find the worst offenders people who jump on establishing deep and everlasting relationships before the RP even starts. It makes me wonder if they're rushing to do so because they know it won't carry on long enough to actually get there IRP. My own group RPs, I'm not sure what happens. I try to get people to finish their sheets, but I just end up with apparently forgetful people.

So I decided I preferred 1x1s because I just can't take them dying so often.

Sometimes, I do feel cursed when it comes to getting a partner. I like to think I'm fairly polite, and I do tend to have fun with my partners. (At least, we keep the atmosphere light.) I really only have one active partner at the moment who is amazing, so shout out to her. But everything else just seems to...fizzle!

The conversation randomly halts before the RP even starts, and I just never hear from that person again. (Just, dead middle of the convo when we were actively discussing the plot. Sometimes the person stays active too, sometimes they don't.) Sometimes we get the RP going, but I've had two cases lately of enthusiastic OOC, and then two or even one post in and they're 'lost their muse.' (Which really irks me, because I just want people to stop jumping on any idea they 'may' like, when the other person also gets the idea you're super into it. It hurts, man.)

Of course, the common issue among all of them is me, really. I've been trying to improve my approach to conversations, trying to be extra careful with my posts, but nothing seems to work. (I do ask for writing samples before and offer my own if they want, so I hope my writing isn't the issue if they agreed to it ): If you see any of my posts and think they might need improvement, feel free to tell me below!)

So that's my current situation. Overall, a lack of RPs when I'm probably the most free I've ever been, and the most active I'll be for a good while. I have a lot of ideas, I suppose I'm a bit picky when it comes to partners, and I'm just not having a grand time RPing when I really do love to write, and I do love finding a partner to connect to.


Anyway, I just guess the entire point of this post was for me to lightly rant, and ask a question to anyone willing to talk about it.

Any advice? Should I just wait this out, and hope one day the perfect group rp will come along, or the perfect partner? Should I take matters firmly into my own hands? (Idk how, but maybe you got an idea!) Do you have a similar issue, and if you did, how did you overcome it?


that's all really, not like I got anything else to write right now.

 

[The_Omega_Effect]

i kinda get what you mean. at this point i simply participate in rps that have an interesting premise. Like, the feeling of creating a character for an rp and being generally exited for one is most I get as they all die one way or another. Maybe I am just a worse writer or less patient but my rps died a lot less before. Might just be the nostalgia talkin tho. Now I just try to find a good 1x1 to have a casual roleplay with.

 

[rae2nerdy]

In my experience the most common causes of roleplay death largely have nothing to do with you. (And these three are common in both groups and 1x1s as well)

1. Fluctuating free time and real life emergencies. Obviously you can’t schedule your internet going out or a family member dying. But neither can you control your work schedule changing or maybe a course being more work than you anticipated.

So I think understanding that just because one person might have a schedule of free time doesn’t mean everyone else in the roleplay is on the same boat. And some things you honestly can’t plan for as they’ll just pop up out of the blue.


2. Lack of organization. If you want to keep a roleplay interesting you have to have some kind of plan for story momentum and what to do when your partner(s) inevitable have to leave for whatever reason. I find starting with an outline of activities to cover in the roleplay is a good trick in groups. For 1x1s I just flesh out the setting in my free time. Now what you do to organize will depend on the ideas you like and what you are more passionate about in roleplaying. I can give specific examples over PM if you have additional questions.

3. Interpersonal issues, this is something that you really can’t control in your partner either. Sometimes they just don’t like your personality, your writing style, etc. Because no one likes to be an ass they are unlikely to ever come right out and say “Hey I don’t think our personalities/writing styles match.” So it’s possible a lot of times those “lack of muse” moments where just them trying to be nice and not say they didn’t like some specific aspect.

And as someone who has both gone the polite route of “I’m just not feeling this sorry.” And the impolite route of “I don’t like your personality.” I gotta say while people might think they prefer honesty inevitable things are much more civil and there are less hurt feelings when I just use the polite euphemism.


The best way to combat these is to have realistic expectations. If you want to write a long form story your better off doing it yourself or with friends whose schedules and personality you know well.

Instead think of roleplays as short oneshots. Thus the length of the story isn’t important but the enjoyment of meeting new people and exploring different scenarios is what makes them enjoyable.

 

[Crayons]

I think this is very common and totally relatable. The one thing to take away here and take comfort in is: it's not something about you, personally.

The only group RP I've had for a long time that didn't just end up as a 1x1 is on a forum where there are a lot of floating RPers. People drop out, people join, and as long as there's a small core that keeps things going, it's OK. I feel that this is a definite rarity though.

Find the people who you love to RP with and stick to them like glue! If you haven't found them yet, you will.

 

[ashwynne]

Probably six years ago now was the last group RP I had. Besides one with an amazing group of people that lasted for at least few months, every other one has died before it could get off the ground.

I feel like it’s hard enough to keep things going in a 1x1 where you’re dealing with only one other person, let alone a group where you have multiple people whose interest may wane or who might not actually have the time for it that they think they do. Start hemorrhaging people and suddenly the RP can't get started which often kills the interest of the people who might otherwise have been committed to it. Which is why I don't do group RP any more, too frustrating for my taste. Only exception for me would be if a group was assembled with people I already know and RP with, or a select group that's really well vetted and known to stay committed to their groups--but that's like finding a needle in a haystack.

When it comes to 1x1 I'll preface it by saying I'm incredibly picky. I tend to prefer finding people through their own search threads as opposed to starting my own because it's easier to weed through who will be a good fit or not that way. Search threads tend to be pretty information heavy on the type of RPer the poster is, which is a good starting point to check compatibility. From there (if they have good plots or seem interested in the same sort of things as me) I like to go through post history, if it's available, to see how they roleplay specifically and how they engage with various content in general. It's kind of stalk-y, I guess, but it saves a lot of frustration on both sides when I'm confident that the person I'm approaching is a good fit.

Just like with first dates, people tend to be on their best behaviour/present their best side in search threads or through PM, so you sometimes won't get a good feel for how they actually write in regular posts without further digging.

I don't personally count PM's about roleplays/signs of interest as anything worthwhile until the roleplay is actually started (which for me means we've each sunk a post in). Of the roleplays that I've had which got to that point, I'd say the majority lasted several weeks to a couple months before one or both of us ended up getting busy/distracted/dealing with RL issues that prevented us from continuing. I can even admit that I was often the one causing that to happen because my life was a lot more hectic back then compared to now. My point being that I'd say I've had quite a good track record with RP partners so I think my method works pretty well overall.

To sum it up:
1. Lower your expectations from the start and assume the RP won't go anywhere from the outset until you've both sunk a post into it.
2. Try finding compatible people through their search threads in addition (or instead) of your own as you can usually tell a lot about whether they're compatible from the way search threads are composed.
3. Try going through their post history to see if the way they typically RP/way they respond to content in general seems to jive with you.
4. Remember that if you're sitting here, frustrated, being fully prepared to commit time and effort to a roleplay for the long term... someone else is too. You just need to find them!