The first shitposters

[Tonstad39]

1972, only a handful of American institutions & universities have access to internet or ARPANET as it was called. In order to use these networks you either had to be a computer scientist or a student of computer science operating large supercomputers with teletype keyboards and a phosperous CRT moniter. Needless to say, high intelligence was required for anything to do with the early internet. It's just that some people used their great intellect to instantly send spam down very pricy Telephone lines!


rules: I make the initial spam and you have to respond to it in much in the way that someone using ARPANET would respond.


THE SHITPOST

TONSTAD 39 LOGS IN

[11/25/1972] [12:00:31] TONSTAD 39: WE NEED TO GOTO VIETNAM TO FLUSH OUT THE COMMIES

 

[Aster]

ASTER LOGS IN


ASTER: I'm rich enough to afford a computer in the 1970s but not enough for a trip to Vietnam. Bring back some pho while you're there.

 

[Tonstad39]

[11/25/1972] [12:27:55]

TONSTAD39: As if The Whole ARPANET system Is in your house or something!

 

[TPBx]

[ 12:28:41 ] [  11 / 28 / 1979 ] TPBX LOGGEDIN:


[ 12:35:12 ] [ 11 / 28 / 1979 ] TPBX:  My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.


[ 12:36:47 ] [ 11 / 28 / 1979 ] TPBX LOGGEDOUT:

 

[Tonstad39]

[12:45:01] [ 11/28/1972]

TONSTAD39: Don't tell me you're into that japanese crap! Also, if you're from seven years in the future i want to ask you one thing: Are the Ruskys put under control in the future. (THAT BOGUS MESSAGE DATE FOOLS NO ONE, HACKER!)

 

[TPBx]

[ 12:50:21 ] [ 01/01/1999 ] TPBX LOGGED IN: 


[ 12:50:53] [ 01/01/1999 ] TPBX:  Огонь по готовности товарищ

 

[Tonstad39]

[12:54:49] [11/28/1972]


TONSTAD39: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU PUT RUSSIAN ON HERE WITHOUT CRASHING THE WHOLE NETWORK?!

 

[TPBx]

[12:56:01] [11/28/1972] TPBX: It's a secret, comrade.

 

[Tonstad39]

[12:59:03] [11/28/1972] TONSTAD39: i'll have to admit, as much as i hat the soviet union, that's pretty damn impressive!

 

[Aster]

[12:59:03] [12/3/1972] ASTER: I think you mean hate. 

 

[Tonstad39]

[9:10:57] [12/3/1972] TONSTAD39: Hey, these fucking things don't have white out or carraige returns!

 

[TPBx]

[ 15:14:21 ] [ 12/03/1972 ] TPBX: Carriage* 

 

[Tonstad39]

[15:19:45] [12/03/1972] TONSTAD39: Fuck! You're just like my old ass English teacher!

 

[TPBx]

[ 15:21:32 ] [ 12/03/1972 ] TPBX: I'm not your English teacher, but I do know that I'm missing a certain student from my Advanced Fortran Class. 

 

[Tonstad39]

[15:46:53] [12/3/1972] TONSTAD39: Oh, sorry Mr. Sommers! 


[TONSTAD39 LOGGED OFF]

 

[Aster]

[17:53:53] [12/4/1972] ASTER: Ew. Fortan.

 

[Tonstad39]

[TONSTAD39 LOGS IN] [19:11:45][12/4/1972] TONSTAD39: HEWLETT FUCKING PACKARD USES IT, SHUT UP!

 

[TPBx]

[ TPBX LOGS IN ] [2100]


[12/04/1972] [ 21:36:49 ] TPBX: @Aster, I bet you use BASIC you hippie.

 

[Aster]

[15:24:21] [12/5/1972] ASTER: GASP. How dare you accuse me of such, you cretin.

 

[Tonstad39]

[02:40:52][12/5/1972] TONSTAD39:Maybe they never should've given London a fucking ARPANET line! [TONSTAD39 LOGS OFF]

 

[TPBx]

[14:39:28] [12/05/1972] TPBX: I'm thinking about joining a research team in Oregon. Supposedly, they're starting a project to create the first Artificial Intelligence, like the computers from Star Trek. The project is supposed to be lead by Dr. Stephen Falken, a true genius of our time.

 

[Tonstad39]

[TONSTAD39 LOGS ON] [10:32]
POSTED 12/1/1973: What the fuck is this shit?!