Journal Talking to Myself

Wealthy Lu

One Time Luck
Have you ever just sat there talking to yourself--I mean it's not weird, that just means you're discussing things with yourself, am I right?
I'll be sitting there, doing my homework, and you know, having a short attention span, I'll start rambling to myself.
"Okay so, I totally need to read *insert good fanfic* because it's like so good! *Rambles off about plot, why it's so good, and what needs to be improved*"
And it ends up being like, 8 o'clock and I only finished half of it. So I go "Crap! Geometry isn't done yet!"
on the other hand... "I totally get why *insert Netflix show here* is amazing! But like, did *character* really have to do *insert annoying action*?"
It ends up like, 11 o'clock and I get tired so I scribble down some nonsense and go to sleep. Then I have to go to school the next day, urgh, and the bus is late so I have to copy down my friend's...except I don't copy down everything and I get called out for my mistakes by my teacher....
I could totally win a debate I bet...except the fact that I'd spend hours talking about it. And I yell a lot. Heh.
 
I know that problem. However, in order not to seem weird in public, I have debates in my head and tend to just space out while I'm in a full on reanectment of some Anime/Series/Movie Ending and going down the different routes the plot could have gone, and after that, debating what of the endings I just went through in my head are the best, in my (or our) opinion. And then someone asks me why I'm not saying anything
 
I know that problem. However, in order not to seem weird in public, I have debates in my head and tend to just space out while I'm in a full on reanectment of some Anime/Series/Movie Ending and going down the different routes the plot could have gone, and after that, debating what of the endings I just went through in my head are the best, in my (or our) opinion. And then someone asks me why I'm not saying anything
Lol I had that happen to me multiple times
 
I do this to some extent, but not in quite the same fashion.

You see, when I take in a TV show that I really enjoy, I create... basically self-insert characters that I can, in my head, put into the story of the show. They make sense to the plot and lore of the setting. They also never deviate TOO much from my own personality, and they're always my gender and general age. There's always SOME differences, of course (if we're in a supernatural setting, they may take the form of some supernatural creature), but for the most part, they're shameless self-inserts. And for a very specific purpose.

After a long binging session I'll maybe get a few ideas for character arcs for my little character. I'll think of interactions between my character and the people in the show. More to the point, I'll actually start acting them out when I'm alone. Reciting lines, practicing expressions and mannerisms, full on emotional (or even death) scenes. I make a play for myself, fully inserting myself into the worlds I love most, sometimes doing scenes over and over and over again until they wear out my interest. Imagining the people around me, what they'd reply with, ect. It's basically an entire world of make-believe.

For obvious reasons, I never use these characters in online roleplay. I admit that a lot of them are pretty cringey, and I don't want to subject others to that. They're for my own personal entertainment, and that alone.
 

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