Take A Favourite Game And Make It Sound Awful.

Sano Sauro said:
Small children report teenagers for cyberbullying when they make hilarious insults at each other.
It slowly transforms into a communist state as everyone requests everything to be free, and that paid users have their rights taken away.
Clickbait is possible, so it is abundant.
-Roblox
Click to expand...
Oh my god. This is so true.
 
John Madden becomes a space hero. There's also lots of singing and aeiou.
-Moonbase Alpha

Flailing is your main source of comedy.
-Garry's Mod

Scantily clad men and women fight over a sword made of meat.
-SoulCalibur

American symbolism
- Dead Rising

Shooting zombies is more fun than shooting nazis.
-Call of Duty

RIP AND TEAR AND RIP AND TEAR AND RIP AND TEAR
-DOOM

A better way of breaking up friendships than Monopoly
-MarioKart
 
Under aged male Prostitute tries to save sister from disease with a stone boy and hermaphrodite only to have the king killed fighting a boar and ends up dooming humanity (but not really).
- NieR
 
Titanfall
Two groups fight over shitty planets that can kill you, you are a special forces unit that uses giant nexus to fight. But you have to get kills in order to earn them. This is done by killing helpless grunts and robots untill you get your mech only to get killed when someone calls in there own mech and it lands on you from,outer space. Oh ya you will also die constantly from a self aiming pistol that locks on to you.
Titanfall 2- guess who is the helpless grunt that doesnt have any of the gear now ^_^... But the self aiming pistol is nerfed till you can't use it.
 
Vampire: The Masquerade
Welcome to a crapsack world where no matter what you try to do, at each /POSSIBLE FUCKING STEP/ you will be used, either against your will, without knowing it, or someone will exploit your kindness. You think being a vampire is cool? Well, guess what. Your boss gave you the one apartment in town that has the bed next to the window through which the sun shines each morning. And there's no fucking shutters.

Did I mention that everyone basically hates you for being born? Except for Nines Rodriguez. Rodriguez is your senpai-vampire-kun and the only person that you can trust. To be honest, he's kind of like a mixture of Chuck Norris, a non-edgy vampire, and a really, really cool dude with a knack for helping people out of the kindness of his heart. And he will also protect you from your own mistakes. But enough of sucking his dick, we have more shit to parodize!

Welcome to the game, where you get to choose your character, ranging all the way from:
Clan Toreador: Which surprisingly has little to do with Spain.
Clan Tremere: A bunch of blood-worshippers that everyone thinks is a threat, even though they don't mean shit.
Clan Nosferatu: HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THIN--
Clan Tzimisce: Ah-ah-ah, you cannot play this! Which is fucking stupid. This is like the BEST CLAN! EVERYONE WOULD WANT TO PLAY THIS. WHY CAN'T WE BE TZIMISCE--

And then there's Malkavians that everyone plays because they are the second best thing to Tzimisce! They can do spooky magic and make people go insane, and they hear spookyyyy voices. Like this one, for example:


Did I mention that the main villain of the game was a gay lover of Napoleon Bonaparte, who actually has an Egyptian fetish and a blood-drinking fetish? I mean, the whole point of the game is that he's manipulating you with superpowers into giving him a sarcophagus, just so he can take out the poor pharaoh inside and drink his blood! Why? I have no fucking idea! The storyline of this game makes no sense! Why would a Camarilla member like LaCroix doom the world to Gehenna just so he can diablerize some old brotherfucker-- Okay, you know what? I am overthinking this.

THIS IS ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW:
  • Play Malkavian.
  • Trust Nines Rodrigues, he is your cool-vampire-chan-senpai.
  • Vampires are evil, even you, but you don't know it yet. This does not apply to Nines Rodriguez!
  • Werewolves are too OP in the lore to even show up in this game!
  • LaCroix is a fucking dolt! Kill him the first chance you get, and be as annoying as you humanly can in his presence!
 
The bad guy decides to let you escape execution. When you do, you find out how to kill people by talking. Oh, also, if a dragon attacks a village and you save them, you get a bounty for accidentally stealing that value 1 potato.

When it is discovered that you are the hero of skyrim and need to save the fucking world, you decide to go "eh" and do the side storylines first. In the end, after you actually defeat the final boss, you become a...

Sky-shattering, cannibalistic, crossbow wielding, hero of heavens, soul trapping, shield-smashing, vampire hunting, wabbajack wielding, daedric-armoured, unarmed bone crushing, fire breathing, shady gangster, Thane of almost every city, leader of a secret death cult, champion of every evil deity, Frozen ice man summoning, CAT man that can become a fucking wereWOLF. (which is an oversized DOG-man, mind you?)

-Skyrim
 
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The crappy leftovers of Massachusetts centuries after an apocalypse. Stuck with a stuffy British robot or a dog, nothing to eat but weird animal meats. And there's way too much to try, despite an actual plot!

-Fallout 4
 
A game practically designed so that you start out normal and slowly discover the dark sociopath within you as you toy with the lives of those around you.
- Any of the Sims games

The moral of the story : Never have hope because that just makes plot zombies more attracted to you
- The Walking Dead

That moment when you realize you like a homicidal computer more than you like your main character.
- Portal

That moment when you realize you like a dead man more than you like your main character
- Portal 2

That moment when you realize you apparently like the number 3 more than Valve does.
- Portal 3 (Sorry I had to)
 
War Thunder

The most realistic and historically accurate Russian bias simulator yet.

Destiny

Halo but with space magic.

Portal 2

Be a hapless test subject attempting to survive the tests of an insane A.I. who later turns into a potato and gets attacked by birds.

Modern Warfare

Play as an elite SpecOps soldier who gets quickscoped by a spinning favela gang member who can also somehow call airstrikes and attack helicopters.
 
Sexual innuendos make your harem of magical girls more powerful
- Ar Tonellico 2: Melody of Metafalica
 
Causality rates in WW2 were absolutely traumatic, although a majority of which were caused by improper castration techniques used by a cruel protagonist aspiring to get a degree in Urology.
~ Sniper Elite 3-4
 
Create a family, give them a fun, fullfilling life, eventually forget to feed them or lock them in the basement to meet the grim reaper.

- Sims
 
You battle mildy interesting enemies with no motive other than being alien, finish a very vanilla story, then use outdated emotes far past their time to taunt over players in PvP.
(I'm looking at you Gangnam Style dance)

-Destiny
 
An Overly Patriotic game about shooting Ruskies and trying to save the whole country that way just only to be nuked by the soviets in the end.

-Hotline Miami 2: The wrong number


Game that is offensive and takes the piss out of everything for the sake of just doing exacly that.


-Postal 2
 
Warframe: big bad random super race where you kill ugly feces and falic like monsters from above. also there are zambies but there really bad at hitting you and are overly leveled, there are quests but like they suck dick, i have a pet dog and I call him dick because every time he attacks, he aims for the crotch, i also have a weird alien cross and i use it to spread the power of the lord without killing anybody, it's pretty bad because it's not really fun and i can't slam somebody in the ground. also,

I hate it.
 
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