Other Take A Favourite Game And Make It Sound Awful.

Discussion in 'Video Games' started by Organic Mechanic, Jun 27, 2016.

  1. Seriously? I was told this is strategy? Hokay, so my buddy mentioned this game that apparently has my goal to get big, so I start as France, whoop England to get back hold of the bits of my country that he has. Did I mention that France starts like, 1/4 the size of France? I mean, what's with that? So I go and declare war on Burgundy, this lil' guy is 1/4 my size, how can he match my army? whatever. So I finally get that land back, and now I guess nobody liked that, as everybody near me has declared war on me. I mean, geez, how am I supposed to do anything if I just get shut down like that?

    ~Europa Universalis IV.
    I feel so dirty after bashing EUIV. <3 Paradox Interactive
  2. "Old 2007 Sword Art Online"

    .Hack// (Franchise)
  3. A weird knight smacks a bunch of other equally weird knights with a shovel because his girlfriend might not have died in a tower a while ago.

    Shovel Knight (Specifically the base game.)
  4. Trapped under the sea with junkies and daddies that only wants to kill you, while casing after small girls for more wonder drugs.
    Also fly away little moth!
  5. Roadtrip Simulator.

    -Final Fantasy XV
  6. Donald Trump/Eggman/Pringles Guy invades your home planet. You need to go on a quest to save your home by murdering everyone in sight, beating up your friends, destroying property, solving puzzles that causes PTSD, and finally, straight up destroying Donald Trump/Eggman/Pringles Guy's soul when fighting a machine that wants to kill everyone in the universe by taking the form of a planet-sized space station that's part cat.

    - Kirby: Planet Robobot
    Calcifus likes this.
  7. Run around, mash the same button to kill enemies over and over and over just like another game that does the exact same thing but this time has a Legend of Zelda skin.

    -Hyrule Warriors
  8. Sonic The Hedgehog 2006 but even worst

    -Sonic Boom

  10. A man is betrayed, blamed for the murder of his lover and sent to prison. He escapes and is gifted powers by a black magic genie, he uses these powers to kill everyone and give the throne to his ten year old daughter and save the city?

    A father and daughter are betrayed, their city is taken over by a black magic voodoo bitch. One is frozen in stone, the other saves the city by going to other cities and murdering countless people, including the black magic voodoo bitch and her voodoo clones.
    -dishonored 2
  11. A 100+ year old man with no friends - whose job is pretty much medieval pest control - wanders around the world, taking money from the poor and fornicating with sorceresses.

    - Witcher 3
    Calcifus likes this.
  12. Group of mercenaries fight each other over a pile of gravel that two really rich old brothers inherited from their father, who hates them both. The brothers didn't want to share it. Then a third brother killed them both and sent robots to fight the mercenaries and some how can't kill them off even though there's only nine of them.

    - Team Fortress 2
  13. Two Asian guys going around beating up people from other dimensions.
    -Mortal Kombat: Shaolin Monks
  14. Local half-demon nearly kills his brother over sibling rivalry, but in the end everyone cries because HOLY SHIT THE ENDING IS SO SAD ;-;
    - Devil May Cry 3
  15. "Read the reviews"
    - Mass Effect: Andromeda
  16. Fantasize about a massive, golden holy dragon god thing. Gets killed by a giant rabbit dragon with wings. wtf.
    (Yu-gi-oh. Dragons mentioned are Divine Dragon Lord Felgrand and Rabidragon)

    A giant evil devil monster than can destroy the entire world. Can't destroy a giant marshmallow
    (Yu-gi-oh again. Armityle The Chaos Phantom and Marshmallon)

    Winged dragon god that's supposedly Ra (as in egyptian sun god.) Get's killed by a caterpilar...
    (Yu-gi-oh again. Winged Dragon of Ra and Petit Moth. At this point, this might as well be a rant about Yu-gi-oh logic.)
  17. "Welcome to floor number on- AND YOU'RE DEAD." - Enter the Gungeon
  18. The first playthrough is almost always the best
    - Skyrim

    It's an EA game
    - The Battlefield Series

    It uses Peer-to-peer connection
    - For Honor

    It's a Ubisoft game
    - Ghost Recon Wildlands
  19. Furries wage war in space.

  20. Watch other people lead a better life than you or systematically murder and ruin them.

    -The Sims
  21. Save the world from a giant green hole in the sky. Spend 40+ hours on pointless side quests in the very first region.
    Bears are stronger than Satan himself.
    Plus dragons.

    - Dragon Age Inquisition
  22. Prince and his pals drive in a really nice car everywhere in the world to meet his fiancée. His pals include one a smart and intellegent cook, one overly muscular that loves Cup Noodles, one a photographer that loves big chickens, then finally, the dark emo prince.

    ~Final Fantasy 15​
  23. You run around, whack monsters with oversized swords and harvest their body parts for armor and weapons. It's all to save- No, wait, it's all to help-

    Oh, you skipped all the text and have no idea what the story is now... But hey! At least you made it all the way to G Rank though in your snazzy armor (good lord those drop rates)! Go you!

    -Monster Hunter
  24. Hitboxes exist... You're just missing shots

  25. NFL linebackers dress up as soldiers and shoot at equally muscular albinos.
    -Gears of War

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