Realistic or Modern Summoning Trouble [Closed]

[Tarmagon]

"You make take only as much of my Power as is required to prevent me from harming myself, an innocent, or to preserve my life," Kyle said without hesitation. "That makes it a self-limiting agreement, and remains fluid enough that it can adapt to changing circumstances. As an extra safeguard, you could add the following statement as well. 'Such Power as is taken from me can only be used for my training, protection, or stored for return when I am capable of handling it.' That places acceptable use limits on the gathered Power, ensuring that it is used for your benefit."

Kyle shrugged slightly, rising slowly to his feet to pace the room much as his spirit-self had. He appeared deep in thought, his brow furrowed as he tried to work through some problem or other. After a few circuits around the room, he stopped, his head cocking to one side for a moment before he returned and lowered himself to the floor in front of Esme, resuming his position.

"I know a way to perhaps reassure you where I am concerned," he said. "It is something I had intended to do later, after you had become comfortable enough with your Power and my training to accept a direct mind-touch, but I am growing more and more certain that will not happen, so I believe I have a, 'workaround?' that will still allow me to grant you the reassurance you need without the risk of exposing anything of you me in return. I told you that I store memories in my mind like a library. That I can open and read a book to review the memory, then put the book back on my mental shelf. If you were willing, I could make it so I could give you a 'book to read', separate from myself. Then when you are done 'reading', you can give it back to me. That way, there is no chance of anything of 'you' to be exposed to me. Do you think you might be able to work with that? The first 'book' would include my True Name, making it possible for you to return it to me and me alone."

Fable
(Demon is doing his best.)

 

[Fable]

Tarmagon
( Esme's just making sure XD )

Esme considered the words carefully regarding the verbal agreement they were discussing on the matter of her power being drained, why, and how it would be used. It seemed fair and logical enough without giving absolute control, but of course she would still worry. This was all new territory for her and the most basic reason of fear was simply the unknown. She watched him as he stood up and paced, her eyes following him as he stopped and resumed his former position.

"W-Wait," she said raising her hands slightly in a motion to indicate pause. "You're right that the whole concept of a direct-mind thing is way out of my comfort zone. Are you really fine with sharing your memories though? I mean, I'm sure you can select what you want me to see and hide what to don't, which I respect, but... memories are personal things so I don't want to make you uncomfortable for my own comfort. If that makes sense."

"I would only work with it if you you really, honestly, fine with it. I guess..."

 

[Tarmagon]

"Esme," Kyle said, a note of gentle chiding in his voice. "If I were not comfortable with the idea of sharing my memories with you, I would never have offered. There are pluses and minuses to this. A plus from your perspective is that each memory, or lesson if you will, is an independent unit, a book not connected to my mind in 'real time'. You can take your time in reading each 'book', but you cannot 'skip ahead' since you will be experiencing them for the first time. Each must be taken in order, from start to finish. The speed will depend on you. The minus is that you will be experiencing these from my perspective, which may be confusing."

Kyle paused, trying to find the appropriate description. It was so clear to him, but the words, it was always the words that failed him. What about? Yes!

"Think of it this way. In mind to mind, it would be like watching a movie with me sitting beside you and commenting on the scenes. For you alone, it will be like you are the star of the show, playing out the part but not knowing the script. You'll be 'along for the ride' as it were. You can pause and rewind, but not fast forward."

Kyle looked at Esme, and his tone turned serious.

"My True Name will be with the first memory," he said. "It will allow you to 'read the book' and then return it to me. It, is the summation of my very existence. It will be intense, and not all of it will be happy. I can swear to you that it will do you no harm, but that is all. You may recoil from me, though I doubt that will happen. Still, I must give you the chance to decline and we will have to find yet another way."

Fable
(Demon must be truthful in all things. )

 

[Fable]

Tarmagon
( )

Esme picked at her cuticles idly as she listened, just really feeling the need to fidget which was probably due to her worries. When he told her he would have not offered had he not been comfortable, she couldn't help but quirk a brow. It was a habit really. Everyone compromised in some way, even if it made them uncomfortable, so this was a weird exchange for her. She tried to view this the way he was, that these memories were lessons. If she could just focus that they were to help her learn about magic more than invade into his memories maybe she'd feel less tense.

"I mean, I'm still a bit... worried about this whole thing. I know you're trying to use them to teach me and you said you were comfortable with offering it. I mean, ultimately do I really have the right to turn it down? If it's how I'm going to sort of be taught about magic. Then there is the whole matter of at least trying before I decide totally. If I find that I just can't? I mean I sort of think I already know the answer is basically to just try a different way, but lets just say an exit clause or something?"

 

[Tarmagon]

"I confess that I don't understand," Kyle said, confusion obvious on his face. "Exit clause? If you find you cannot bear to experience any of my memories of my education in magic, then you do not have to accept them. I can only offer, I cannot force. I lack the skill, Power, and temperament to force my memories upon you unwilling. If you are this uncomfortable with the idea, despite my willingness, then I shall have to try and find another way."

Kyle couldn't help the look of defeat that crossed his face, but he was running out of ideas. He couldn't convince Esme with words, he couldn't gain her trust enough for her to accept his mind touch, and now it seemed she was afraid of his offer to give her access to his memories. He just... ugh. He didn't want to scare Esme, but she had to understand.

"Esme," he said, his voice taking on a note of seriousness that he doubted he had ever used with her. "Do you want to die? Do you want me to die? I can take your Power in order to keep you safe, but that is a temporary measure, which you are still not comfortable with. I will be blunt. You have very few options here, and only one ends well. The how of you learning to accept your magic doesn't matter, the who you learn from doesn't matter. What matters is that you accept you have it, and learn to control it. If you do not, you will die. You will die by your own Power, or by someone burning the Power from you as they drain you, over and over and over. If we are still bound by Pact when this happens, there is a very good chance that I die as well. I am willing to die in your defense, but I do not wish to die because you refuse to accept who and what you are. I get it. This isn't the life you wanted. This sucks. It's not fair. I want to help you, but I can only offer what I know in the ways I know. Maybe your mother could teach you, but again, you have to believe in yourself and your ability. I believe in you, but I cannot believe FOR you."

Fable
(Demon is running out of ideas. He doesn't want to scare Esme, but she needs to accept the seriousness of the situation.)

 

[Fable]

Tarmagon
( Esme's built up pressure has popped. XD )

"Well, I just thought since everything relied on some contract that something like that had to be included? I guess maybe I was trying to act like a lawyer when I'm not one myself and thought it had to be included. I-I wasn't trying to be rude... or anything," Esme struggled to explain.

"I also didn't wholly object to the memory thing, I did say that I would try," she objected when he seemed to think she was completely refusing. "You also need to understand that I barely just found out this stuff about myself, so pardon me for not just skipping a few stages of grief as I am still just processing everything. You, my mom, Ardyr'e, and even Liz. Being what I am after spending most of my life being told I was something I'm not. I don't want anyone to die and I get that I am going to have to get over it, but humans- I can't just make a snap acceptance when I feel like I've been slapped so hard with all this stuff that I'm stunned."

Esme was frowning deeply now and was now getting angry. "I agreed to the temporary solution knowing it was temporary. I agreed to try learning through your memories because I don't know if I even can. I haven't said 'fuck it' entirely yet, but you're pushing things on someone who is very mentally overloaded right now. I need a break."

With that Esme got up and left to go get some sort of tea from the kitchen, even as the butler protested that he could do it and she insisted she would do it herself. It felt like she was being pulled apart and crushed at the same time by everything she had to think about. If there was one person she really wanted to talk to it was her grandmother. That was the one person who actually ever really understood her, but had she had also never told Esme the truth about herself either.

Once Esme finished her tea she placed her used cup into the sink. She went back to where she had left Kyle alone as much as she would have preferred to have just spent the rest of the day not talking about this, but it needed to be done. "I've lost count of the rounds," Esme states. "Look, I know I am probably frustrating the hell out of you. But I can just be like 'sure everything's perfectly fine and I'm chill about what I am and accept it.' I didn't even really care for myself when I was just... human Esme. I just sort of exist, though I'm not sure you'd understand what I mean by that."

 

[Tarmagon]

Kyle cursed softly, but quite descriptively as Esme left the room. He knew that she had had everything thrust upon her in short order. He had been there when she had broken down once the truth about her origins had been revealed. He had felt her agony as the Seal had been removed, and despite his words to the contrary, he still blamed her mother for Esme's inability to see past the negative possibilities and hope for a future. And still he had pushed, pushed until Esme had fled the situation rather than deal with it. He knew she was angry, and she had every right to be, but how to help her see past the anger and begin to deal with the immediate problems was beyond him. When you found yourself astride the s'thel you didn't complain about how you wound up there, you did everything in your power to hang on. Kyle continued to worry away at the problem and alternately berate himself for his ineptitude until his thoughts were cut off by Esme returning to the room. That, he had not expected.

"I've lost count of the rounds," Esme stated. "Look, I know I am probably frustrating the hell out of you. But I can just be like 'sure everything's perfectly fine and I'm chill about what I am and accept it.' I didn't even really care for myself when I was just... human Esme. I just sort of exist, though I'm not sure you'd understand what I mean by that."


"Perhaps more than you know," Kyle said softly, indecision showing on his face. After a moment, his features hardened into a determined look, and he sat back. Cupping his hands together, he brought them to his face and began to whisper. Esme couldn't quite make out the words, but they didn't sound like they were in English. A dim ball of gold and silver mist began to take form between Kyle's palms, growing slowly as he spoke to it. When he stopped speaking, the misty globe of light wasn't much larger than a golf ball, and it settled into his right hand as he turned it palm up.

"This may be what makes it possible for us to understand each other a little better, or makes it clear we never shall." he said, offering the small ball of light and mist to Esme. "I offer this freely and without reservation. Will you accept?"

Esme paused for a moment to look at what Kyle had summoned. If it was to help them understand each other or would at least help determine if they would always misunderstand then perhaps she should just accept it. All she could do at this point is nod her acceptance of whatever he was handing over to her and hope that nothing bad happened.

Rather than press Esme for a verbal acceptance, Kyle nodded back, then reached forward, tipping his hand to allow the glowing ball to slip from his hand to Esme's. He saw her look of surprise when the spell-construct rolled up her arm and across her chest to sink into her just above her heart, then her eyes closed as his True Name began to unfold in her mind.

Esme had just enough time to register what was happening, then her vision blurred strangely. Things were oddly out of focus, and everything seemed, larger.

"K'ylenthar," a warm contralto said, the sound of the voice familiar, comforting, and filled with love. "Welcome to the world my son."

A face became clear in Esme's vision, and it was the face she had seen on the image of Kyle's mother, but younger. She looked exhausted, covered with perspiration, her hair plastered to her head, but her smile... that smile of love and welcome etched itself indelibly onto Esme's... no, not Esme's, Kyle's being. Here was safety, welcome, home.

The face vanished into a blur, but somehow it wasn't frightening. There was a warm, welcoming sensation permeating Esme, making it difficult to be afraid, even when the blurriness cleared to show a hawk-face man glaring down at her, disapproval written plainly across his features.

"Pah," the man spat. "I cannot believe that this is the product of my lineage. Still, he has Power. I will just have to mold him properly."

Again the odd blur, then a new scene took form. Kyle's mother took center stage again, though she now looked much as Emre had seen her in the message. She felt, tightness in her chest, something begging for release and listened carefully.

"That is your Power my son," Kyle's mother said, setting a candle down before her. "Now, feel it. Call to it. Welcome it. It is a part of you."

Esme felt her/Kyle's attention turn inwards, examining the thing within them. It felt, warm but somehow anxious. It wanted to do things.

"Now, look at the candle. Imagine the wick is alight. Smell the scent of the wax, feel the warmth of the flame. Ask the Power to make it happen."

Esme could see the images form, felt the surge flow out. Saw the candle suddenly topped by a dancing flame. Wanted more, and watched with suddenly frightened eyes as the candle flared, burning away in seconds as the force within rushed out,driven by a half formed desire.

"And thus two lessons learned. Control is key."

"Yes mother."

The image blurred away, only to present another scene from Kyle's life. Over and over Esme felt what Kyle felt as the important events and decisions that had shaped him played in her mind. The accident that had caused his fear of horses, the disgust with Court life, the wonder of his first love, and the pain it had eventually caused as he found the mutilated body. She felt the conviction that he was cursed, and the resolution to remain at a distance, polite but never again intimate. Centuries fled by in seconds as the story of Kyle played itself out. All the people he had spoken of, Esme saw through his eyes, felt the impacts of their opinions. The highs, the lows, she felt it all. Even the Summoning was there, and she saw herself, drunk and terrified, standing over Liz, felt the amusement and the respect and admiration Kyle had felt. She saw Kyle reduced to tears by Liz, the Gala, her mother. Almost everything since Kyle had arrived was there, influencing, changing, making Kyle grow. Esme saw it, felt it.

Then, as suddenly as it had begun, the slideshow of Kyle's life ended, but it left behind a feeling of, well, Kyle. Without opening eyes she hadn't realized she'd shut, Esme knew where Kyle was. Knew he was nervous, almost afraid, but determined.

"And now, you know me completely." Kyle said, his voice soft. "I have given you my True Name, the sum and substance of my very being. Everything that went into making me, the good and the bad. There can be no higher trust or belief in someone. I pray this doesn't overwhelm you, but now there can be no doubt of my sincerity. Help me help you? Please? "

Fable
(The highlight reel of four thousand years that made demon who he is. Esme can always see through any shape Kylie assumes now. Can always locate him. Can feel really strong emotions, but no thoughts.)

 

[Fable]

Tarmagon
( Sorry for the delay, the sick one is still sick and then for some lovely reason the person who plows the snow decided to plow it right in front of my car... I hate... shoveling snow. >_> I've not even unburied my entire car yet. )

Esme hadn't expected any of what had just happened; at all. She had thought Kyle was going to just test the waters, share something simple and sort of acclimate her to this whole thing. Boy had she been wrong because after experiencing someone else's memories - thousands of years of them - in one sitting felt like what she assumed was getting hit by a semi-truck while suffering from alcohol poisoning and nearly drowning in a puddle after spinning for way too long. She kept her eyes closed even as it ended, mostly because she was worried if she opened them two things would happen, she would vomit or the room was spin and make her feel worse.

She barely even registered what Kyle had just said down this memory highway that didn't have any speed limits. "Right now the only help I want is to not feel like I've been on a roller-coaster for a month straight," she managed to groan and lift her hands to her face. "I don't think measly human brains are meant to take in that much information at once, or at least mine isn't. I think- nope."

Esme got up and bolted to the bathroom and emptied her stomach's contents entirely. She cringed as flashes of Kyle's memories wafted through like a reflected ripple. She sat down on the tiled floor of the bathroom as the last feelings of dizziness and nausea faded away. She carefully got up and rinsed out her mouth with water then with mouthwash. She looked a bit pale, but otherwise was intact still and she slowly made her way back to where she had left Kyle.

"This is where I make a joke that I am allergic to magic," Esme partly groaned out, just not really able to really put her usual sarcastic self into it. "Also, it's like my head in ringing, not my ears and that it weird." She was trying to avoid talking about all she had just witnessed. Some of the things she saw were just awful and she felt uncomfortable knowing them, she felt stupid for being such a petty little brat since she'd never had to go through anything that horrible. Lied to her whole life by a mother who seems to abhor her, sure. Having someone she cared about killed? Her life was way less of a mess compared to that.

"Honestly, I thought you were just going to give me some small sort of memory..."

 

[Tarmagon]

"Not small I'm afraid," Kyle said, his voice apologetic. "And not just memory. What I have given you is something you desperately crave right now, control."

Kyle grinned lopsidedly at the look on Esme's face. She didn't understand, at least not on a conscious level yet. Her magic understood though, and that would make things clearer.

"That was my True Name," Kyle said, his tone taking on a serious note. "Pivotal decision points in my life, and what influenced the choices I made, the choices that have shaped me into the being that I am today. You now know me as well as I know myself, perhaps better. There is a saying on both of our worlds, knowledge is power. In giving you this knowledge, I have given you a degree of power over me, power that you may choose to exercise, or choose not to. You will always know me now, no matter what face or form I wear. If you choose to seek me out, you may call up the feeling of 'Kyle' and it will lead you unerringly to me, but only if you wish it. I cannot track you with the same degree of accuracy, though I can follow fresh traces as I did in the park. You may also, if you concentrate, get an idea of what I am feeling. As such, I may not dissemble. I may choose not to answer, but the reluctance and emotion behind it would be plain to you should you choose to look."

Kyle quirked one eyebrow at Esme, then continued speaking.

"You will not be bombarded with my emotions," he said soothingly. "You have the control over whether or not to feel what I feel, though truly strong emotion, like fear for my life or fear for your life, might leak through. There are more things you will be able to do, or choose not to do, as you learn more about your Power. This is the most telling way that I can think of to prove my sincerity in all things to you. I am sorry it was so, intense, but there was nothing I could do to buffer the effect. I pray that you can, in time, come to forgive me my desperation."

Kyle sat very, very still, waiting for Esme's reaction. He knew that all it would take was a moments desire on her part to feel the determination, desperation, and fear that were at war within him, but he forced himself to sit, waiting.

Fable
(Demon has cast the dice, betting all upon a single throw to prove his intentions.)

 

[Fable]

Tarmagon
( Esme's basically just mental storage, lol. And very embarrassed and confused. XD )

Esme listened to Kyle, though after having to experience all that she just had her brain felt like it was way too tired to process anything else right now. Part of her was fine, but the human part of her was stuck trying to filter everything she'd just learned in its own way. Basically, that human part of her was trying to push away those memories that weren't her own into a place of privacy because they weren't hers, but it seemed to struggle pushing them back. It was during this that she came up with a way that could articulate just what she meant to Kyle, or at least hoped he would understand. Would telling her his True Name help with that at all?

"So if I told you to change into a cat, you would?" she asked as a joke regarding her having power over him, because that just made her feel a bit uncomfortable. "And I have Kyle GPS?" She laughed nervously because she still felt guilty about everything she knew about him now. Even if he wasn't bothered by it and had still willingly shared it with her, she still felt that guilt. "Honestly, I feel way more awkward around you right now after what I just went through. Like knowing things I feel I shouldn't even if you were fine showing them to me. I still sort of feel, well not even sort of I am still torn into two. The human part of me - which is still all I've ever known my entire life pretty much - is freaking out a bit over this. It's... not that I felt you were some threat to me or you were going to really hurt me, if I really had thought that I would have just probably gone about everything completely differently from the start."

She sighed and paused trying really hard to find a way to explain, because she felt like everything just became that more complicated. "Humans... well actually I shouldn't generalize us all. I trusted you to a degree that was... enough. I get that maybe you were trying to sort of give me a crash course in the things you've learned through this way, but there is a different between downloading information and actually going over the information. Not sure if you get that, uhm. What good is a library if you've never read the books? I really just... need to make you watch The Maxtrix movie."

Esme really was terrible at trying to explain her thoughts. "Honestly, trying to sort my thoughts out right now is a disaster. I've also never been good at actually talking about stuff. Liz usually did the talking for me." She groaned as she covered her face trying to just explain things to him, but she was mentally cringing at having to do so. "I know you say you aren't bothered by sharing what you did, but I am," she finally bluntly said, keeping her face covered so she wouldn't have to see his reaction.

"I get it was probably a package deal with the process, but being me it just.. bothers me. Maybe I'll eventually get over it, but right now you have no idea how weird this is for me. Like I'm talking I feel like a voyeur kind of awkward. Also, do you know how weird it is to have memories of a guy go through your head? Wait, no you are a guy so it wouldn't be weird for you. Gahhhh. I just want to hide under a rock right now."

 

[Tarmagon]

Kyle chuckled a bit ruefully at Esme's question.

"Probably about the same as it felt for me when De'lindara gave me her True Name," he said, smiling. "You see, I've actually been on the sending and receiving end here, so I know a bit of what you're going through. The difference is I have been taught that it is a gift of understanding, while you see it as an intrusion into my life, no matter my intent."

Kyle tapped a finger against his lips as he thought, trying to provide an image that Esme could use to help her control the information. Maybe.

"Look," he said after a moment. "You may feel guilty about the depth of knowledge I have given you, but that same knowledge should grant you the understanding that this is okay with me. I can't help what you feel, but you can control the information to a degree. Relax, ignore the information as best you can for the moment..."

Kyle's voice took on a calming, rhythmic tone as he spoke, the same voice he had heard so many times in his lessons. He hoped it would help Esme as it had helped him.

"Close your eyes. Imagine yourself in a comfortable setting, with me standing in front of you. When you have the image firmly in your mind's eye, imagine pulling out your phone and snapping a picture of me. Put the entirety of the information about me into that picture, turning it into a slideshow of my life. Once you have transferred the information to your phone, you have control over it. You can flip through the pictures, or you can put the phone, and the information about me, away and totally ignore it until later."

Fable
(Demon is trying to turn his life into a slideshow under Esme's control.)

 

[Fable]

Tarmagon
( Demon gets how phone's can store, demon has learned well! )

Esme picked at her cuticles of her unmanicured fingernails; they weren't in horrible condition, but using her nails as a release of stress has kept them rather short and blunt. He had gotten the true name of the woman from his memories, so he probably could understand that something like that would be overwhelming, to a certain extent he might get that perhaps. She wasn't sure she'd ever truly feel comfortable knowing everything she did about him or how that would affect their complicated relationship. She sighed and stopped picking at her nails and listened to him actually give directions she could actually understand; kind of.

Honestly, she would have gotten the idea if he had used a book as an example. She would rather imagine putting all his memories into a book that could be defined as a 'journal' rather than a slideshow. Esme pursed her lips slightly wondering if she'd actually be able to do this. "Would it organize itself based on my.. will? Basically I wouldn't need to go through it all again, it would just sort of organize itself into say, chapters?"

"Absolutely, " Kyle replied, a touch of hope shading his tone. "I guess I still need to work on my choice of words, but I was trying to use something you were familiar with. Use whatever image helps you the most, and will it so."

"I mean, you were trying to use a modern example, so it's not a bad thing suggesting it that way, but books are still a thing." She said this trying to sort of tease him, but quickly cleared her throat and her smile off her face. She needed to concentrate on this and she hadn't ever done something like this before. She inhaled and exhaled before closing her eyes. Like Chapters in a book. How did she want to organize this? By subject? By time? Perhaps both? She would be fine learning his own magic lessons through his own memories, but separated from the more intimate moments in his life. The ones she felt were too personal for someone like herself to know even as much as Kyle said he was fine with it. So two books then, one for the practical lessons and the other for the private.

So Esme focused her intent, her will if she had to really define it to organize the memories that weren't her own into neatly organized books, and at first nothing happened. She let out a soft frustrated sigh before taking an attempted calming breath again. It was a bit of a struggle, at first seemingly like she was in one of those wind machine games where you tried to grab at something flying around you at high speeds. She mentally grasped loose pages that were fluttering wildly around.

After thirty minutes or so, she finally opened her eyes and frowned. "Okay that was harder than I thought it was going to be. Maybe my mind is a bit too Alice in Wonderland or something because my mind wandered and one of the books actually bit me; mentally in my imagination. If that makes any sense."

 

[Tarmagon]

Kyle stared at Esme for a long moment, his eyes widening, then he burst out laughing. The laughter was a strange combination of relieved and amused, and it took several minutes before he was able to get himself under control.

"S..sorry," he finally managed to stammer, wiping at the corners of his eyes. "I imagine that you were in the process of putting away something that you were, uncomfortable with knowing about me. Something you find embarrassing to know perhaps, and something you don't want to have to examine. So, in response to your desires not to know, the 'book' has made itself, inaccessible to you without consequences. Consequences that you have unconsciously chosen I might add. I rather doubt that such behavior will continue, especially when I begin to give you the, what was the human phrase? Oh, yes... The 'Cliff Notes' versions of my magic lessons."

Kyle settled back, giving his eyes one more wipe, then smiled warmly at Esme.

"Congratulations," he said, approval in his voice. "Unlike your first two magical acts, you have just imposed your will and your Power on a situation of your choosing. You chose the imagery, the end result, and despite getting 'bitten' in the process, you saw it through. I would dearly love to give you a hug right now, but knowing how unsettled physical closeness makes you, I will simply say, 'Well done my student'. Your 'homework' is going to be to leaf through both books when you feel up to it. Yes, I know there are things you don't want to know."

Kyle held up a forestalling hand to still any incipient protests Esme might raise, then continued.

"However, you must be able to deal with things you 'don't want to know' in future lessons. You need to be able to open up the book that bit you without any consequences. You control the Power, both consciously and unconsciously. Your conscious mind must bring your unconscious mind, not so much to heel, but to cooperation. Dealing with things that are merely embarassing is far safer than dealing with abilities that could threaten your life or someone else's. For now though, well done. When you think you are ready for something new, either a 'lesson memory' or just my trying to fumble my way through an explanation of a basic ability, let me know. For now though, you should eat. Even mental magic takes energy, and I know from experience how much the Seal removal drained you. We should find food and drink, and this time you need to eat well."

Kyle stood, and offered Esme a hand up with a smile, a hint of, pride? in Esme's accomplishment showing on his face.

Fable
(It's a little thing, but demon now has hope for the future.)

 

[Fable]

Tarmagon
( BTW if you want to timeskip to them going on the cruise we can. XD The book idea is to be blamed on Evil Dead, lol. )

Esme flushed a bit in embarrassment as Kyle laughed. It was a nice laugh and something he didn't really do that often, but it was still making her a bit flustered because she felt silly now after telling him the book bit her. She wouldn't say that the reason the book became vicious was because of her own desire to not delve into those memories. She had given that book the concept of a journal or diary, so it could be secured shut. However, her wandering mind had thought of the book from the Army of Darkness movie and the book probably just took on that form without her really thinking about it doing that. She'd just have to fix that later, though for now it could stay a snappy guard book.

"So I have a mental book-mimic now, maybe that's not exactly a bad thing," she commented mostly to herself.

"I don't think this really deserves a hug," Esme protested with flustered hand motions. Not that she was really against hugs from Kyle, but she wasn't going to admit that either. She waited till he had said what he wanted, though she cocked a brow at him as he still insisted on her going into both books, even the book-mimic that was guarding Kyle's memories. At this point she just kept quiet on that subject because they were at a standstill she felt in regards to her not feeling right having those memories and Kyle insisting she use them and that it was fine.

"Actually, about learning something new. Since I won't have a Seal trying to kill me now, maybe I can sort of correct that first deal with the dictionary issue. I mean, you've adjusted pretty well with just that and then experience, but there is still quite a bit you don't know. I mean, I'm not the best mental library, but I did go to school so I'm sure that knowledge of everything I've ever learned in stored in my brain somewhere. Unless there was something else you wanted to learn or some other way."

Esme paused and the groaned, "Listen to me trying to tell a 4,000 year old demon that I can teach him something when they've way longer than me."

 

[Tarmagon]

"Since my command of the language remains one of our, sticking points," Kyle said, "I think that anything we could do to, 'get on the same page' would be good. And out of my 4,000 years, this is the longest I've ever spent here, so you have definitely got the upper hand where experience is concerned. Were we upon my world, the advantage would shift to me, but we are not. We are here, now, and I'm hungry. You should be too. Let's go."

This time Esme accepted his hand, and they set off to satisfy Kyle's incessant appetite.

The next several days were alternately challenging, terrifying, and profoundly satisfying. Ardyr'e was given charge of setting up their cruise arrangements, as well as working with Esme's mother to arrange their 'decoys'. They would have to take the train once more, this time to Florida so that they could board their 'Transatlantic Cruise' that had St. Petersburg as one of of its ports of call. While the arrangements were being made, Kyle attempted to impart the basics of mage-craft to Esme. Esme remained reticent about delving into the personal information that Kyle's gift of his True Name had provided, but Kyle had not pushed, simply asking what progress she had made in as neutral a tone as he could. Other parts of her training had been, interesting.

"Rather than use words from the grimoire, you will need to frame your intent clearly and concisely," Kyle said, his face serious. "This will be different than just giving me the words from the dictionary, this will be giving me your understanding of the language. And, since you are casting a spell on my behalf, you will need to name your Price."

Esme wouldn't want to touch that Grimoire than Liz had found unless she absolutely had to. Honestly, every time she thought of that object it did nothing but bring one word to her mind. Trouble. "A price? Uh, I didn't really consider that so I don't know what to set as the cost." She crossed her arms and looked down as she pondered what she could ask as the price, but it not really be a real cost, also she really couldn't think of anything she wanted in exchange. Then an idea struck her.

"How about you have to tell a joke?"

Kyle had assented, and Esme had managed to impart a better understanding of the language to him. He was perhaps not quite to where he needed to be, but things seemed, better. His attempt at a joke had been, less successful. When he had delivered the 'It's a trap, there's two of them.' line, Esme had just looked at him like he had grown a second head. Esme had finally managed to sense her Power, and had even managed to flow it from hand to hand, though it had taken a couple of days before she had managed to divert a small portion of the Power into one of the stones that Kyle had provided. She could sense the Power within the stone while she held it, but extracting it had proven a sticking point.

"Why do I have to hold your hand?" Esme asked, her expression a mix of embarrassed and apprehensive. "And why do you want to give me any of your Power? Wasn't the idea that you were supposed to take my Power?"

"Yes, the idea is for me to keep your Power under control," Kyle replied patiently. "And I will. The problem is that you managed to put Power into the stone I gave you, but you can't get it back out, which defeats the purpose of using it as an emergency battery. I know you can sense me because of the Name link, but I'm going to suppress that link temporarily. That way you will have to work to sense me and you won't sense my Power at all unless I project it, or you are in physical contact. Now, since the battery I had you make isn't going to project Power, the best way to teach you how to extract it is for you to hold my hand and try to accept the small bits of Power I will pass to you."

Esme had looked skeptical, but had acquiesced, taking Kyle's hand with only a little hesitation. It had taken more time than Kyle would have thought, but Esme finally mastered accepting the little bits of Power that Kyle manifested on his hand, as well as figuring out how to return them to him directly. Drawing Power from the stone though, that remained elusive.

"Look, let's try something new," Kyle said, careful to keep any frustration out of his voice. "It's all in how you look at things. Imagine that the stone is one of those strange little plastic coin containers that you squeeze to open. You've put the coins inside already, now you just need to get them out."

Esme had cocked her head to one side for a moment, but then nodded and picked up the hated stone once more, closing her eyes. Kyle saw her brow furrow in concentration, and her lips set into a thin line, but nothing else happened for nearly a minute. Suddenly a wave of Power broke from Esme, engulfing the stone in a glowing nimbus that quickly grew too bright to look at. In mere moments it had faded, revealing a small disk of plastic the same color as the moonstone that Esme had been holding. Esme's hand squeezed, and the top of the disk opened, a glimmering mote of Power rising out of it to drift over to her other hand where it quickly sank from view.

"I did it!" Esme exclaimed as her eyes opened. "I felt it..."

Her voice tapered off as she saw the coin purse sitting in her hand instead of the small moonstone.

"It seems," Kyle said bemusedly, "That you have a bit of a talent for transformation magic. And that you take things very literally."

Armed with this realization, Kyle had changed his tact, asking Esme about how she would do ordinary tasks, then translating them into magical actions. The replacement moonstone became a virtual coffee cup that Esme could fill and empty at will. Rather than have Kyle constantly taking Power, Esme began to notice when she started to feel 'full', and would pass Kyle a handful of 'change', actually varying amounts of her Power, until she felt that she was safe. Occasionally, Kyle would have to take a little more, but Esme was developing a good feel for her Power levels. She even managed to learn to hide most of her Power, simply by remembering herself from before the incident with the grimoire. It saddened Kyle that her prior self image was so, forgettable, but for now it would serve. Given her transformation of the moonstone, Kyle decided to let her try her hand at minor transformation magic, a decision he soon had second thoughts about.

"So," Kyle said, gesturing at the small pile of goodwill items sitting on the table in front of Esme. "Having the proper starting point makes things a lot easier. If you want something made of silk, start with an equal amount of silk. Changing the shape of things is a lot easier than changing its basic nature. The biggest thing is, you get what you put in. You need enough raw material to cover your end result, plus a little for loss and wastage. Here, we have silk, cotton, elastic, and all of the little bits that go into making undergarments. Reach out, hold the desired form in your mind, and let your Power reshape the material to match your image."

Esme frowned, then her expression cleared and she reached out, setting a hand to either side of the small pile of fabric. As she closed her eyes, Kyle made a mental note that he needed to try and get her to break that habit. Sometimes you needed to actually see what you were doing, and he didn't want her to develop the habit any further. He could feel Esme's Power building, then smiled as it erupted from her right hand, washing over the fabric in a glowing wave before vanishing back into her left hand. She was actually getting quite good at recovering unused Power, and he was quite proud of his still slightly unwilling pupil. Of course, major magic, like actual shields or offensive spells, was still beyond what he could teach in such a short time, but the charging, cloaking, and minor transformations, these she was getting...

Kyle's thoughts chopped off as the glow faded from the fabric. Gone was the pile of random fabrics, and in its place...GODDESS! Kyle averted his eyes from the wispy confections that Esme's magic had created. He was no prude, and had seen what the humans called 'sexy lingerie' before, but to see it sitting there freshly created by Esme's magic... Kyle felt his cheeks heating and when he spoke, his voice was a bit, choked.

"Was that what you intended to produce Esme?"

"Hah!" he heard Esme crow, and despite himself and his burning face, he turned back to see her triumphant grin as she examined the, garments. "Bite me Victoria's Secret! Take those over-priced creations and keep them. I can make my own."

Kyle just shook his head, smiling despite his blush. Despite her initial protests, Esme seemed to be adjusting to being magical.

Fable
(Proud demon is proud, and embarrassed. That should take enough time that we could skip straight to the ship now.)

 

[Fable]

Tarmagon
( Ardyr'e can't help but pull that kind of thing on them. XD )

Esme and Kyle only had so much time for a crash-course in Magic Casting 101: Don't Kill Yourself. Basically, she needed to learn some things fast and on their agenda before their cruise was to manage her Power, concealment and transformative stuff. It was hard for her to grasp Power management because it still was like an abstract thought that hadn't been fully processed enough for her to actually get 'it'. It took a few common concepts she could understand to actually make any progress and now she had a moonstone coin purse which she could store or take her Power from.

Concealing herself wasn't as difficult, one thought about just being her old magic-less self and POOF, Esme's Power was non-existent as far as detection went. She actually was like a little kid who had learned about a light switch and was flicking the concealment on and off a few times experimentally which caused her mother to interrupt their lesson to tell Esme to knock it off because she was acting like a beacon wanting attention. That had been a lecture that made Esme feel a tad guilty, but she had just stopped and her mother had left with a frown.

Now the transformation magic was something Esme enjoyed because the amount of money to be saved was too good! She could raid a Goodwill and take the items and re-make them how she wanted them to be. She could even repair her favorite old clothing items this way too most likely; like her much beloved sneakers that should have been retired years ago. Breaking in shoes were a pain! The first time Kyle gave her a lesson in this wondrous magic she had tried to think of something stupid expensive and Victoria's Secret popped into her mind. That had resulted in some lingerie that she had seen there before while window shopping.

Kyle had been shocked by what Esme had produced, but she was enjoying her moment of sticking it to the overpriced undergarment company. She could have cackled. However her triumph quickly turned to embarrassment when she looked at Kyle and saw he was blushing as she had been waving the items around proudly. She flushed furiously and shoved them under her shirt in a flustered act of trying to hide the embarrassing evidence of her creation.

"I- uh - ahem it just sorta... popped into my mind and then when I realized it worked I got a bit excited," she explained hastily. "Y-You would agree if you knew how much that store charged for their stuff."

Esme made sure she very carefully thought about the rest of the wardrobe she was going to produce using the materials bought because the last thing she needed was something else embarrassing taking form thanks to her imagination. She had used one of Ardyr'e's many fashion magazines to produce more expensive and finer looking clothes. Esme was not a fashion designer so she stuck to imitation rather than trying to get creative and custom make some atrocity. She still kept her normal clothes to bring with her, she could always use them as material if needed or just wear them as is. Ardyr'e had also spent a day playing 'dress up Esme' where she put Esme in her clothes and then adjusted them to fit Esme as though they had been tailored for her. Esme had only managed to negotiate down to a few items that Ardyr'e insisted Emse take with her.

Honestly, where was Esme going to wear some of these dresses and shoes she had no idea.

Then it was time for them to set off to Florida, leaving Esme's mother and Ardyr'e behind in New York. The doubles had already gone on the move. Esme's mother had crafted special necklaces and taken the Power Esme had stored in her magical coin purse and put them into the necklaces on the female doubles. It was meant to pull attention towards them and because there were multiple doubles it would take whoever decided to make Esme a target longer to determine who the real Esme was.

Kyle and Esme took a train from New York to Florida, but this time they had separate cabins because Áinfean had insisted on this. Esme didn't practice any magic while on the train because Áinfean had made it clear that she needed to focus on concealing herself so that the doubles had a head start on attracting interested parties. Thus Esme ended up spending most of her time reading while on this train ride or enjoying the scenery. She had also played a few card games against Kyle. It was too bad she didn't think of possible getting something like Uno before they had left just to give them something else to play while on this trip.

They got to the cruise with no issues or delays and found that Ardyr'e had gotten them a suite. The Honeymoon Suite. "I am going to murder her," Esme groaned when she had realized what her fairy-demon-mother had done. She could see Ardyr'e now grinning deviously over this arrangement.

"Congratulations," said the bellman who had helped bring their luggage to the room. Oh Esme was going to have some words with Ardyr'e over this.

"It seems she decided our story for us," Esme said as soon as she had tipped the bellman and closed the door for privacy. "Honestly, part of me wants to tattle to my mother for this and let her go nuts on Ardyr'e."

"At least this isn't one of those weird hotel rooms where you can see into the shower from the bedroom," Esme said with some relief. She'd seen pictures of those on the internet from some review website years ago and had learned that day that such things existed. The suite was nice, offering a large king sized bed - though with a cheesy heart made of rose petals that were just going to make a mess - and a living space with a couch that would be large enough to function as a bed.

"I'll take the couch since I'm shorter than you."

 

[Tarmagon]

"That would be incredibly rude of me," Kyle said. "You take the bed. We've got to make certain that we make it look like we've both slept in it though. I imagine that the steward would think it a little strange if newlyweds were obviously sleeping separately. And..."

Kyle's voice shopped off as he truly grasped the magnitude of the situation that Ardyr'e had placed them in. He and Esme were supposed to be MARRIED. They were supposed to be in love, with all the little mannerisms and displays that went with it. People who worked in places like this would know what newlyweds looked and acted like. While it was unlikely that Kyle and Esme would ever see any of them again, it was remotely possible that the crew would notice and gossip, and that the gossip might make it off the ship. That could be disastrous if it happened in St. Petersburg. He would be perfectly happy to play the part, but Esme?! Lady Goddess protect them. He had hugged her exactly once, and under extreme circumstances. She had held his hand, but reluctantly and during training.

"That's not fair," Kyle told himself internally. "She held your hand at the Space Needle when she didn't have to. It was spontaneous, and wonderful, but not the actions of a married couple. Hellfire and damnation, I haven't even kissed the back of her hand. How in the HELL are we going to pull this off?"

Kyle didn't quite collapse, but he did sit down on the floor rather abruptly, managing to fold his legs under himself so he was sitting in a lotus position. When he looked up at Esme, there wasn't desperation in his gaze, but surely at least a close cousin. When he spoke again, his voice was flat.

"How the fuck does Ardyr'e expect us to pull this off?" he asked. "I like you Esme, probably a lot more than I should given our circumstances, but there it is. I think that you consider me a friend and not just the weird demon you're stuck with, but I'm sure that there's nothing beyond that. Add in your distrust of males in general, your aversion to physical contact. Goddess Esme, what do we do? If I didn't know better, Ardyr'e set... us... up... Oh, that devious bitch!"

Kyle started to chuckle, softly at first, but then his chuckles ramped up to full throated laughter. He climbed slowly to his feet, surveying the room and shaking his head.

"You know," he said conversationally, "When we first met, Ardyr'e warned me that she was in a Pact that involved your protection as her task. She also gave me a warning that any relationship that we might or might not develop could force her to take action against me as a threat to you. If I didn't know better, and I honestly don't, I'd say she deliberately threw us into a situation where we'd have to work so hard at having a 'relationship' that we'd both come to resent it, thereby ensuring that even once we've gotten you your answers and you've mastered your Power, we wouldn't want to see what might or might not develop as equals. I said it before, you can take the person away from the Court, but you can't take the Court away from the person."

Another problem occurred to Kyle, and he grimaced. Rings. They didn't have rings. They were going to have to make an attempt at selling this in public, so they'd have to have rings. Wait. Wasn't there? A moments digging in their bags, and Kyle came up with one of the gold Krugerrands that they had tucked away as possible bribes. A pair of earrings joined the gold coin, then Kyle considered the objects he was holding. After a moment, he nodded to himself and gathered his Power, carefully shielding his work from outside detection. Closing his hand, he let his Power flow over the coin and earrings, instructing them how he wanted them to form themselves. When he opened his hand, three rings lay there. An engagement ring with a small diamond and ruby mounted together, and a matched set of wedding bands, set with rubies and diamonds. Withdrawing his shield, Kyle examined his work, then smiled and offered them to Esme.

"Do you think these will pass muster?" he asked.

 

[Fable]

Tarmagon
( Ardyr'e is indeed a devious bitch. XD )

Esme wasn't shocked when Kyle declined to sleep on the bed. By now she'd gotten used to that weird chivalrous part of him that practically only existed in movies. You were lucky you didn't get a random dick pic sent to you on your phone; no matter your gender. He had a point though that it'd be weird to have signs of someone sleeping on the couch. She glanced at the large bed, still mentally sighing at the shit tossed on the covers, and wondered how to resolve this situation.

She wasn't looking at Kyle as he suffered what was probably a minor mental break over what Ardyr'e had done. Speaking of that woman, she was probably smirking and laughing to herself over her methods. After all, Kyle wouldn't press Esme and having to awkwardly engage in a false relationship was surely going to stress Kyle who would try to be a master strategist. While he was struggling, Esme ripped the top cover off and and shook the petals onto the floor.

One problem down.

She dumped the crumbled cover at the foot of the bed before climbing onto it and grabbing the pillows and using them to divide the bed in half. After a quick experimental test of the area left on one side of the bed and finding it wide enough to not bother her she sat up just in time to hear Kyle speak, asking how Ardyr'e expected them to handle the situation she put them in. When he called Ardyr'e a devious bitch Esme burst out laughing. Seeing Kyle annoyed and flustered rather than his calm demeanor was much more amusing.

"First, take a deep breath. I'm supposed to be the stressed one, remember?" she said getting up off the bed that was trying to consume her body in softness. "I have a strange idea about how we can resolve the likelihood of being exposed as a fake couple, b-but you might not like it. So before I tell you and make both of us embarrassed at the topic I'll take the rings."

She held out her hand and waited to be given the rings they were to use to add to their appearance as being newly weds. It wasn't exactly her style, but she also had never really thought about getting married. "As long as it looks appropriate for this scheme it's fine," she commented.

Once Kyle gave her the rings, she casually slipped them on without even sparing a second to look at them, though she did resize them to fit her finger better. "As far as this awful idea - which you are free to veto - but it's a possibility. It's a bit of a trope so not sure how believable it will be also."

Esme cleared her throat and blurted out an option. "It's highly logical for newly weds to sort of... barely leave the room for uhm.. y'know... that. We could literally just spend most of our time hiding out in here and only making an appearance as needed. Meals, some activities, and a few entertainment evenings. They'll just assume we're - uhm - busy being otherwise engaged in the room."

"A-Also! PDA isn't something couples have to do. I mean, were you ever publicly with..." she paused and waved her hands. "Ah, forget that."

 

[Tarmagon]

"A-Also! PDA isn't something couples have to do. I mean, were you ever publicly with..." she paused and waved her hands. "Ah, forget that."

Kyle couldn't mask the pain that flashed across his face, not that he even had a chance to try. The comment was too sudden, too... his mind shied away from the memories that it invoked, and he turned away from Esme quickly, not wanting her to see what she had inadvertently done. He could feel the burning at the corners of his eyes, but he forced the emotions down ruthlessly with the practice of long, lonely centuries. When he turned back, his face was clear and his voice was steady.

"I take your point," he said, his voice level. "In answer to your question, yes. Only once. And we paid the price for it, her with her life, and me with my guilt. Thank you for reminding me of the dangers."

Kyle knew that he was reverting to the formal speech that Esme disliked, but he needed it just then. The formal patterns could be used to mask, to control, to dissipate the emotions that had no place here. He couldn't tell Esme that he wanted to explore this odd vessel with her, to partake of the various activities in her company. To get to know her when there wasn't a disaster hanging over their heads. To enjoy, if only for a day or two, not having to watch every gesture, worry about perception, worry about status.

"You should know better," he thought to himself, disgusted with himself. "You are Pact bonded. You are acquaintances. She is your student. That is all she is, and that is all she will ever be. Liz was right. You don't belong on this world, and you haven't done anything to deserve any more happiness than you have already been given."

Cocking his head to one side, Kyle considered what Esme had done to the bed, then shook his head.

"That, will not be required." he said. "I will sleep on the couch, and I shall leave no trace for the curious to take note of. As for your notion, this is your quest, and I shall be guided by you in this. Worry not for my comfort, and instead see to your own peace of mind. I, have much experience with concealing that which needs to be concealed. I can do whatever is required."

What Kyle had forgotten in the wake of the shock Esme's innocent question had caused, was that he had given Esme his True Name, and while she couldn't actually read his thoughts, the emotions that he was trying so hard to conceal were like a glaring beacon to her.

Fable
(Stunned demon has forgotten.)

 

[Fable]

Tarmagon
( Esme trying to save Kyle from going down the path she already went down. )

Esme had felt guilt soon after her mindless words had escaped her mouth. She mentally chastised herself for being so inconsiderate. Kyle's defense mechanism came back full force and his flat voice and posture only made her feel worse for her slip. She had punched a tender scar on his heart and could only silently stand there as he spoke. As his feelings trickled over their connection she struggled with the emotions that weren't her own, but very similar to ones she was very familiar with.

She took a shaky breath. These weren't her emotions, not hers. She closed her eyes tightly and tried to push them out which wasn't easy. She was horrible in situations where someone needed comfort especially when she was the one to cause the distress. Usually with Liz she could work things out, but that was it. Her experience with such things was pathetic. Esme sighed and cautiously approached Kyle so that she would be in front of him.

"Sorry, it just sort of came blurting out thanks to my lack of filter. If you need some space I can go wander off and give you privacy. Actually, I probably should just... sort of probably go since I'll probably just make this whole situations worse like I always tend to do. Being able to feel what you feel isn't helping either. It's like when you stand between two mirrors into an infinite reflection."

She wasn't sure if she explained it in a way Kyle could understand, that his emotions were feeding her own fucked up negative emotions and creating what felt like a vortex of hurt and things she didn't want to feel. So she was focusing on being angry at herself, resentful of her words. "Way to start off the honeymoon," she defensively joked. She walked past Kyle towards the ridiculously expensive mini-bar that had a few small bottles of alcohol to choose from. "Since we're on Ardyr'e's dime here may as well," she muttered to herself as she grabbed one of the inadequately small bottles and opened it. She chugged down whatever she had grabbed and it burned down her throat.

She tossed the empty bottle into the small trash can and grabbed another but didn't open it. Honestly, trying to drink away her feelings was probably not going to work. Also the last thing she needed was to get wasted and blurt out more shit. She set the bottle back where it belonged as much as she wanted to drink until she passed out so she couldn't feel anything. Though being what she was could she really even do that anymore?

She stood rigidly as she decided to do something probably really stupid, but she felt like she needed to say it. "What happened to her wasn't your fault. What you have has a term here in this world; survivor's guilt. Though I'm not sure knowing there is a phrase for it helps at all. Kyle, don't be like me and lose yourself to that; that is a deep, dark, lonely sinkhole of a hell that will consume you entirely."

 

[Tarmagon]

"What happened to her wasn't your fault. What you have has a term here in this world; survivor's guilt. Though I'm not sure knowing there is a phrase for it helps at all. Kyle, don't be like me and lose yourself to that; that is a deep, dark, lonely sinkhole of a hell that will consume you entirely."

Esme's words struck home with the force of a thunderbolt, shattering the spiral of self-pity Kyle was foundering in. After a moment, he reached out both hands, slowly, gently, giving Esme plenty of time to avoid his touch, to clasp both of Esme's and draw her to the couch. He was careful to maintain a safe distance, but he maintained steady eye contact with her despite her attempts to avoid his gaze as he sat. A deep, calming breath later he found himself ready to speak.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "And thank you, it actually does help, at least a little. I'm, still new to this despite my age in human years, so my emotional responses tend to be extreme. Your question was reasonable, especially considering how dangerous I told you displaying any kind of affection is on my world. Here, now, where I don't have to consider every word and action, I'm afraid I've swung too far in the other direction. There it was all black and white, but here there are infinite shades of grey. I'm not familiar with all of the, nuances? yes, that's right, nuances involved in caring for another, in having someone else's opinion matter to me."

Kyle considered raising the strongest empathic shield he could, but then decided against it. He would let Esme decide.

"I'm not shielding my feelings right now," he admitted. "In part, that's so you can feel my sincerity, gratitude, and forgiveness. If you're not comfortable with that, I'll put up my shields or I can try to teach you how to tune me out."

"It's just a bit much having to handle my own feeling and then also yours," Esme replied.

"You're right," Kyle said, clamping down on his empathic shields. "And it's not fair. I'll close down, but later I'll teach you how to keep me out unless you want to sense me. For right now, please stay unless you can't bear to be around me. This may sound strange, but even when you upset me, it's bearable knowing you're here. You accidentally hurt me, I overreacted. I forgive you, and hope you can forgive me."

Kyle thought about what he had felt, what he had hoped. He was just going to have to be up front. Esme was no mind reader, and while he was improving, his social cues were still fast from normal human. Time to bite the bullet.

"If you wish to stay in, we can certainly do so," he said. "I will admit it would not be my first choice though. This vess... ship, offers many things I have never done, and I'd like to have those first experiences with you. I want to go to dinner with you, to see a show, to try the casino. Not because I have to, because I like your company and want to. Your comfort comes first though, so I'll let you choose any, all, or none."

Kyle's voice went very soft, and full of compassion and concern as he spoke his next words.

"And when you know me, Kyle the person, not K'ylenthar the demon, maybe you can tell me what tragedy drove you down that dark, lonely path so I can help light your way out. On my world, we made of mistakes together. We were responsible, together. Some guilt is mine, but not all, and De'lindara would call me a fool for trying to shoulder it all, and would curse me to the nether hells if I didn't do my best to help a friend. So, I'm here. I may not understand everything, but I'll listen if you ever want, or need, to talk. "

Fable
(Something so simple as a name to the problem to help the demon. He just hopes he didn't botch the explanation. )

 

[Fable]

Tarmagon
( Sorry for the delay, one epic distraction after the next. )

Esme really tried to avoid looking directly at Kyle. It felt awkward and she still felt bad that she had brought up something sensitive. If she hadn't know she could have never probably mentioned the event, but now she did and felt like she had weaponized it against him. She felt even worse with him apologizing to her. She didn't want to say anything worse than she already had so Esme kept her mouth tightly shut so she wouldn't blurt something else out while he spoke.

She nodded her agreement to being taught on how to shut out his feelings when she needed to, though honestly she wondered if she needed to learn how to prevent her own feeling from bleeding over to where Kyle could sense them. She picked at her nails with stress though she was trying to prevent it from consuming her and making her miserable.

"I told you that you could veto the ideas," she reminded him. "You had just sort of prevented a ton of potential problems so I was trying to solve them with what popped into my head. If you want to explore we can somehow work doing that sort of stuff out. I mean, part my reaction to hearing Ardyr'e's setup was really to just kind of do whatever since who says we have to act like some trope couple from some romcom that drives us both insane."

Esme paused as she considered Kyle's words regarding her sharing how she got this way. There wasn't much to say because he already knew about why she didn't really like to be touched. She sighed to herself trying to think of how to explain. "I mean, you're really just 'Kyle' to me at this point. Mostly I forget you're a demon unless something happens to remind me of that fact, but it's not like a constant identifier. If that makes sense. And... you sort of already know the story about my issues, but... I felt like it was my fault that it happened to me and at my worst I at one point thought I had deserved it. It's a pretty awful feeling and as much as part of you tries to rationalize that those feelings aren't right, you feel that way anyway. I had a therapist tell me that my aversion to touch could possibly self-inflicted punishment."

She wanted to change the subject and tried to think of something else to talk about. "I wonder how Liz is doing," she blurted out as her mind wandered to her friend. "Too bad she has to be kept out of this adventure. I can imagine her fainting from shock about being a half-demon. Not sure if she'd be comfortable with that bit of news, though I should probably never tell her, as much as lying to her would suck. I also don't think she'd be happy to hear I went on a cruise without her, though if she was here she'd made everything way more lively... if she managed to get past her seasickness."

 

[Tarmagon]

"What's that wonderful phrase you imparted to me?" Kyle asked the air musingly. "Ah yes. Lying by omission. A rather selfish concept I think. It seems to fall more under the heading of 'I want to simplify my life, so I'll complicate yours to make mine easier.' Why does it matter? Are you suddenly not the Esme standing over her passed-out-drunk ass waving a bottle at a nightmare that appeared out of nowhere? I don't think so. You're still you Esme, just as figuring out that my Sire isn't really my Sire did nothing save change my outlook on things. It certainly didn't suddenly make me a new person. If you don't tell someone something that would make their lives harder, is that a lie? Have your views towards Liz changed?"

Kyle looked at Esme quizzically, but this time he didn't force eye contact. He hadn't really known, fully understood, that Esme could possibly blame herself for what happened besides making a foolish choice. Yes, she had done something less than fully thought out, but given the circumstances at the time there was just no way. But, she had been told that by those much more well versed in this world than he.

"And as to the other thing," Kyle said, his voice compassionate. "I didn't fully get it. Now I do. I'm not going to beat a dead horse, but I'm going to say this one more time and then drop the subject. No one deserves what happened to you, anymore than I deserved what happened to me. But, those things did happen, and we survived them. Perhaps a little bent, a little broken even, but we survived. You're helping me put myself back together, and I'll try my best to follow your example and help you. And that's my 'two-cents' worth."

Kyle chuckled, thinking of Liz and how she would have reacted to Ardyr'e's cover story. The girl would be having kittens. And probably insisting that she be the one to share the honeymoon suite with Esme while Kyle was banished to whatever room Liz had originally been assigned.

"You do know Liz would probably insist that she be the one to share this room with you?" he asked innocently. "And I'm equally certain that she wouldn't let me near you without playing chaperone. I'm not saying that it would have been a bit hard to explain, but... Oh Lady bless."

Kyle's chuckles had turned to full on laughter. At Esme's look, he just waved one hand limply as he fought to get himself under control. No way in the nether-hells was Esme ever going to know the image that had caused his mirth. Finally, he regained control and looked at Esme.

"Before you ask," he said. "Nope. I'm not telling. The only thing I'll say is that our worlds have more points of congruence than I first thought. And as for seasickness, don't you remember what my specialty is? First and foremost, I'm a healer. If you were subject to motion sickness, with your permission I could cure you of it. With time and study on your part, you could cure yourself. We haven't had a chance to figure out whether or not you'll have any affinity for personal change and healing, though from the way you've taken to minor transformations, I'd say there's a pretty good chance you can at least learn the basics. For now though, stop that nervous fidgeting, please. I'd rather you enjoyed being around me than worrying all the time. I'll try and loosen up, you work on impulse control. Deal?"

Kyle stuck out his hand, a gentle smile on his face. He needed to learn, she needed to learn. He was ready to keep learning.

Fable
(Sincere demon is sincere.)

 

[Fable]

Tarmagon

Kyle had picked up on idioms which helped his understanding better it seemed sine before he might have not understood how humans defined this type of situation. When he asked her if withholding information that would have made Liz's life more difficult a lie she pondered on the question. She wasn't sure anymore. She always wanted to be honest with Liz, even when she knew it could cause problems between them. Esme had wanted there to be one person in this world she could have total honesty with without them holding that honesty against her and Liz had been the one. As much as they could fight sometimes there was an understanding there. Now with this whole demon business and her mother and Ardyr'e's warning that there was some danger trying to find her... Esme wondered what was right?

If she told Liz then maybe Liz could be prepared for anyone who came looking for her. Not to mention that Liz was probably waiting for Esme to come home or to call or text her at this moment. She'd been putting off talking to Liz because she wasn't sure what to do. She was pulled from that rabbit hole of thoughts when Kyle spoke again on the matter of her self-inflicted feeling of guilt. However he mentioned how Liz would have insisted she stay in this suite with her and shoving Kyle out. Soon after he shared this he seemed to have something pop into his head causing him great amusement which caused Esme to quirk a brow at him. He informed her he would not share his thought and it only made her burn with more curiosity.

"We'll have to see how seasick I get if things get rough and the ships gets tossed around a bit. I don't think I'd have an affinity for healing if I had to bet on it. Though I have to wonder what I would have an affinity for thinking about it now. You had mentioned Houses had specialized skills, guess I won't know till we find out what House dear old demon dad was in." She said 'dear old demon dad' with thick sarcasm in her tone, obviously not fond of whoever this entity was.

"Anyway, I can't help fidgeting," she protested. "It's a habit. Also who says I don't enjoy your company? Sure sometimes I want to throw a pillow at your head out of frustration, but that's only a fraction of the time. Also, what is wrong with my impulse control?" She gave him a challenging look to answer her, not reaching out to shake his hand to finalize a deal.

 

[Tarmagon]

"Really?" Kyle asked, then sighed. Dammit, he wasn't in the mood for another argument, but Esme had asked. "Fine. You said it yourself not five minutes ago. You don't have a filter. What is that if not being impulsive? The problem is, your first impulse is to attack. Uncomfortable topic? Attack. Misunderstanding? Attack."

Kyle paused, staring directly at Esme.

"Tell me honestly," he said sternly. "How often do you say something and almost immediately regret it? Something that just 'popped out'."

"Often enough," Esme grated out, glaring daggers at Kyle.

"And there we go," Kyle said tiredly. "I chose words that in and of themselves have no context."

Kyle softened his stance, making his face open and concerned, and when he spoke, his voice was no longer stern, but friendly, compassionate, conveying nothing but polite interest and a desire to be helpful.

"Tell me honestly," he said. "How often do you say something and almost immediately regret it? Something that just 'popped out'."

Shrugging, he looked at Esme. "Exactly the same words, just delivered in a different tone of voice. One way invokes anger and defensiveness, while the other should invoke kindness. But here's the thing. If I had delivered them in a neutral tone of voice, you would have automatically reacted as though I had delivered them in the stern tone. And before you bristle at me more, that is NOT a criticism, it is an observation. And, in the interest of absolute fairness, when you have time to parse the words, look at all of the possible meanings, you are starting to do so. But when startled, you revert to what you know."

Kyle sat with a sigh, and when he spoke again his voice held a tiredness, a weight that seemed to encompass all of his considerable years.

"I get it. You may not believe me, but I really get it. You're off-balance, thrown into a world that you didn't even know existed a couple of months ago. Your life is turned upside down, and despite my desire to help you, I'm part of the problem. Every time you look at me, I'm a reminder of how fucked up your life has gotten. When I do something to push you off balance, however innocently, you naturally want me to be as off balance as you are. So, you push. Unconsciously, but you push. Both our peoples share this trait, so it's not something I'm unfamiliar with, but I've had centuries to overcome mine, and I've seen firsthand the damage impulsive use of emotion fueled magic can cause. It's part of why I stress over and over control. control, control in our lessons. Ashke, I care enough about you that I am willing to risk your anger if I can do anything to prevent you from ever having to experience that."

Kyle's laugh was bitter, and full of self-depreciation.

"Goddess bless and curse me for my hypocrisy," he muttered. "I begin to appreciate the truly cleft fork that those who care for you find themselves astride."

Fable
(Demon suddenly understands Esme's mothers situation. And knows he was being a hypocrite.)