Shadowfall
Freshly cut.
The love square then expanded, and formed a love pentagon when God, the Ultimate Mary Sue, decided he should join in.
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Story Time, One sentence at a time
- Thread starter A Mexican Weener
- Start date
KuroNoKami39
The Erasing Wind-Up Toy God
quickly expanded into a love hexagon when the devil himself decided, 'hey, why not! this looks like fun!'.
The Gunrunner
Elder Member
But then she died, ending this story forever.
IctoraPost
You've got mail
The story so far:
But then the story started again.
Once upon a time, there was a little fairy named Jessica, and all she ever wanted to do was dig up her dead Grandfather named Jimmy. She had this strange and unusual desire, as she was a necromancer-in-training, and all she wanted to do was make the dead dance. She had heard that her dead grandfather, Jimmy, was a fantastic salsa dancer. She found her power wasn't enough, thus she made a deal with the Devil. The Devil was also her love interest, there is no need for explanations why.
She gave the Devil a call, and he teleported her to his vacation getaway in Cuba. She and the Devil smoked big Cuban cigars and made love on the beach. They used a censor bar to protect the younger audiences, of course. Especially when Jessica smoked the Devil's other cigar. Jessica then realized that she had come undone, "What have I done?," she said. She proceeds to cheat on the Devil. But, with it being the Devil and everything, he wasn't too happy, so torment would follow behind her actions.
This, of course, was bad news for her lover, the Easter Bunny, who soon found it a bit too hard to hide eggs, thanks to the start of rabbit season being moved to the day prior to Easter Sunday. The Easter Bunny broke it off with Jessica and proceeded to encourage her to make up with her ex-lover, the Devil. The Devil wasn't happy when the Easter Bunny returned, but he gave him one more chance. To win in the love triangle through a giant game of hungry hippos! Actual hippos. Who were actually not that hungry.
The goal of the game was to get your hippo to eat one basketball out of many rolling around the arena. This was difficult because the hippos were angry because they were just woken up from their nap. But not as angry as the NFL players who were desperately searching for all the basketballs that had been stolen. Plus NBA athletes.
The Easter Bunny tried to shove a basketball into his hippo's mouth, but that only angered it, so it tried to kill him. And it was successful, as the Easter bunny is just a dude wearing rabbit ears. The devil used his devilish powers to influence his hippo to open its mouth, but before he could get a basketball into it, he was tackled by the NFL players and was pelted by basketballs thrown by the NBA players. This ended the NBA championship and shortly thereafter all stadiums were nuked. The nuking of the NBA stadiums left room for the NFL to thrive, though this fact is not entirely important... However, non-Americans preferred the NBA to the NFL, and the only football they watched was actual football.
Due to this conflict of interest, the already strained relationship between America, and the other nations of the world (with the exception of Canada, because of their hockey obsession), reached a boiling point. This resulted in an all-out war being waged on everyone but Canada (because of their hockey obsession). However, America was quickly defeated, since it declared war on EVERYONE (besides Canada). But alas, America's territory was largely disputed over by most of the countries who thought they were big enough to take on everyone else. Which was... mostly everyone (besides Canada).
This continued for many years, until the Canadians got tired of it, and effortlessly took over the formerly American land, making it the latest country in the world. But the peace would not last, as a customer was causing a scene in a small, nondescript pizza shop, all hell was about to break loose, and the owner was brandishing a rolling pin and speaking only in Italian. What nobody suspected was that the person was actually a French trying to cause a diplomatic incident. In which the Frenchman was unsuccessful, as they lacked any diplomatic connections and was just a single person. With this, he swore revenge upon the world! ...But never actually carried out his oath.
Instead, he decided to take up the profession as a pizza baker, vowing one day to overcome that Italian man as the best pizza baker on that nondescript street! As you know, pizza isn't just restricted to Italians and Frenchmen alone... so a guy from Chicago showed up and outshone them all with that amazing Chicago stuffed pizza! Except no one came to eat the pizza, because they had all been hypnotized by Bill Nye the Science Guy. The pizza, feeling a bit left out, decided to join in and asked Bill Nye some of his big science questions that all pizzas have.
Turns out Bill Nye the Science Guy was actually Bill Cipher and told the pizza (who has been named Frank) that he cause weirdmageddon with him and rule all! But Count Dracula wasn't having any of that, so he went and punched Bill in the eye. The pizza maker threw the pizza (Frank) into orbit around the Earth, where he travelled for about a year. But Count Dracula wasn't going to take that stuff, so he flung himself out into space before the year ended and ate Frank the pizza. The pizza maker was horrified and vowed to avenge Frank.
First, the pizza maker gathered all his dough and rolled and baked them into troops of about 1500 dough soldiers armed with dough weapons, tomatoes to throw, and equipped them with mouldy mozzarella armor. But he was unable to finish his pizza army as he attempted to devour them all. So he made a pizza out of a galaxy and threw it at Dracula. However, make a pizza out of stars, planets, moons, asteroids, nebulas, black holes, and a supermassive black hole would have been virtually impossible. But the pizza guy managed to do it. In his mind, but not in reality.
The pizza guy was actually an insane man who thought Frank's name was Alice and that he actually was his wife. So Dracula decided that it wasn't worth it and went to Disneyland instead. But at Disneyland, he met an insane ogre, Poopypantsnurglealoominiumknightquestorboy! Which he blood-sucked, 'cause he's Dracula, and I'm talking about the Christopher Lee Dracula. But Christopher Lee Dracula Man fell in love with Hotel Transylvania and Hotel Transylvania 2 Dracula Man at Disneyland. They went to a back room to do questionable things with each other. This ended up getting Christopher Lee Dracula Man pregnant.
A while later, something was born. It was a kitten named Lucifer, who had great plans to take over the world through his adorableness. However, the Puggerinos were far more cute. But the kitten named Lucifer took over the Puggerinos and sent them all to Hell. Where the Puggerinos resided in wait, ready to strike when they hear their sacred call. But the Puggerinos didn't hear the call, because the Devil and the dead Easter Bunny were fighting loudly in the background. And into Hell walked the Doom Slayer with his trusty Super Shotgun in hand ready to raise some hell... in Hell. But then god yelled at everyone and told them to go sit in the time out corner for the next 100,000 years.
Anyways, The Doom Slayer walked out of hell covered in blood to greet our protagonists at the theme park. but this story is so confused, it has no main protagonists. But the story still has non-main protagonists - Christopher Lee Dracula and Hotel Transylvania Dracula, currently.
"We need a main character!" cried the chairman of the Story Board. And so Mary Sue and Hilariously Fanservice-y Villain were carelessly slapped into the plot. As Mary Sues go, though, they fell quickly and madly in love with the (EXTREMELY HOT) Fanservice-y Villain. But Gary Stu felt left out, so he went and formed a love triangle. Then, Anti Sue thought she was so unloved she joined the love triangle unwittingly and created a love square. Quickly expanded into a love hexagon when the devil himself decided, 'Hey, why not! This looks like fun!'. But then she died, ending this story forever.
She gave the Devil a call, and he teleported her to his vacation getaway in Cuba. She and the Devil smoked big Cuban cigars and made love on the beach. They used a censor bar to protect the younger audiences, of course. Especially when Jessica smoked the Devil's other cigar. Jessica then realized that she had come undone, "What have I done?," she said. She proceeds to cheat on the Devil. But, with it being the Devil and everything, he wasn't too happy, so torment would follow behind her actions.
This, of course, was bad news for her lover, the Easter Bunny, who soon found it a bit too hard to hide eggs, thanks to the start of rabbit season being moved to the day prior to Easter Sunday. The Easter Bunny broke it off with Jessica and proceeded to encourage her to make up with her ex-lover, the Devil. The Devil wasn't happy when the Easter Bunny returned, but he gave him one more chance. To win in the love triangle through a giant game of hungry hippos! Actual hippos. Who were actually not that hungry.
The goal of the game was to get your hippo to eat one basketball out of many rolling around the arena. This was difficult because the hippos were angry because they were just woken up from their nap. But not as angry as the NFL players who were desperately searching for all the basketballs that had been stolen. Plus NBA athletes.
The Easter Bunny tried to shove a basketball into his hippo's mouth, but that only angered it, so it tried to kill him. And it was successful, as the Easter bunny is just a dude wearing rabbit ears. The devil used his devilish powers to influence his hippo to open its mouth, but before he could get a basketball into it, he was tackled by the NFL players and was pelted by basketballs thrown by the NBA players. This ended the NBA championship and shortly thereafter all stadiums were nuked. The nuking of the NBA stadiums left room for the NFL to thrive, though this fact is not entirely important... However, non-Americans preferred the NBA to the NFL, and the only football they watched was actual football.
Due to this conflict of interest, the already strained relationship between America, and the other nations of the world (with the exception of Canada, because of their hockey obsession), reached a boiling point. This resulted in an all-out war being waged on everyone but Canada (because of their hockey obsession). However, America was quickly defeated, since it declared war on EVERYONE (besides Canada). But alas, America's territory was largely disputed over by most of the countries who thought they were big enough to take on everyone else. Which was... mostly everyone (besides Canada).
This continued for many years, until the Canadians got tired of it, and effortlessly took over the formerly American land, making it the latest country in the world. But the peace would not last, as a customer was causing a scene in a small, nondescript pizza shop, all hell was about to break loose, and the owner was brandishing a rolling pin and speaking only in Italian. What nobody suspected was that the person was actually a French trying to cause a diplomatic incident. In which the Frenchman was unsuccessful, as they lacked any diplomatic connections and was just a single person. With this, he swore revenge upon the world! ...But never actually carried out his oath.
Instead, he decided to take up the profession as a pizza baker, vowing one day to overcome that Italian man as the best pizza baker on that nondescript street! As you know, pizza isn't just restricted to Italians and Frenchmen alone... so a guy from Chicago showed up and outshone them all with that amazing Chicago stuffed pizza! Except no one came to eat the pizza, because they had all been hypnotized by Bill Nye the Science Guy. The pizza, feeling a bit left out, decided to join in and asked Bill Nye some of his big science questions that all pizzas have.
Turns out Bill Nye the Science Guy was actually Bill Cipher and told the pizza (who has been named Frank) that he cause weirdmageddon with him and rule all! But Count Dracula wasn't having any of that, so he went and punched Bill in the eye. The pizza maker threw the pizza (Frank) into orbit around the Earth, where he travelled for about a year. But Count Dracula wasn't going to take that stuff, so he flung himself out into space before the year ended and ate Frank the pizza. The pizza maker was horrified and vowed to avenge Frank.
First, the pizza maker gathered all his dough and rolled and baked them into troops of about 1500 dough soldiers armed with dough weapons, tomatoes to throw, and equipped them with mouldy mozzarella armor. But he was unable to finish his pizza army as he attempted to devour them all. So he made a pizza out of a galaxy and threw it at Dracula. However, make a pizza out of stars, planets, moons, asteroids, nebulas, black holes, and a supermassive black hole would have been virtually impossible. But the pizza guy managed to do it. In his mind, but not in reality.
The pizza guy was actually an insane man who thought Frank's name was Alice and that he actually was his wife. So Dracula decided that it wasn't worth it and went to Disneyland instead. But at Disneyland, he met an insane ogre, Poopypantsnurglealoominiumknightquestorboy! Which he blood-sucked, 'cause he's Dracula, and I'm talking about the Christopher Lee Dracula. But Christopher Lee Dracula Man fell in love with Hotel Transylvania and Hotel Transylvania 2 Dracula Man at Disneyland. They went to a back room to do questionable things with each other. This ended up getting Christopher Lee Dracula Man pregnant.
A while later, something was born. It was a kitten named Lucifer, who had great plans to take over the world through his adorableness. However, the Puggerinos were far more cute. But the kitten named Lucifer took over the Puggerinos and sent them all to Hell. Where the Puggerinos resided in wait, ready to strike when they hear their sacred call. But the Puggerinos didn't hear the call, because the Devil and the dead Easter Bunny were fighting loudly in the background. And into Hell walked the Doom Slayer with his trusty Super Shotgun in hand ready to raise some hell... in Hell. But then god yelled at everyone and told them to go sit in the time out corner for the next 100,000 years.
Anyways, The Doom Slayer walked out of hell covered in blood to greet our protagonists at the theme park. but this story is so confused, it has no main protagonists. But the story still has non-main protagonists - Christopher Lee Dracula and Hotel Transylvania Dracula, currently.
"We need a main character!" cried the chairman of the Story Board. And so Mary Sue and Hilariously Fanservice-y Villain were carelessly slapped into the plot. As Mary Sues go, though, they fell quickly and madly in love with the (EXTREMELY HOT) Fanservice-y Villain. But Gary Stu felt left out, so he went and formed a love triangle. Then, Anti Sue thought she was so unloved she joined the love triangle unwittingly and created a love square. Quickly expanded into a love hexagon when the devil himself decided, 'Hey, why not! This looks like fun!'. But then she died, ending this story forever.
But then the story started again.
Loki Odinson
God of Lies and Trickery
This time, the story didn't start with a person, but rather, it started with blood.
Shadowfall
Freshly cut.
Menstrual blood.
Axel The Englishman
The Holy Crusader
Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary.
IctoraPost
You've got mail
Bloody Mary decided to go on a cruise on the Titanic.
Windsock
Two Thousand Club
The Titanic quickly stopped before it hit the iceberg, and quickly revealed it was actually a Jaeger from Pacific Rim.
Loki Odinson
God of Lies and Trickery
As soon as the Jaegar transformed fully, a Kaijuu emerged from the deep waters and rammed its horn through the torso.
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cadence
in a quiet garden
Nobody showed up for it's funeral.
IctoraPost
You've got mail
The iceberg's funeral, that is.
Shadowfall
Freshly cut.
Except for the Kaiju's horn, who found the map to the Jaeger's heart.
KuroNoKami39
The Erasing Wind-Up Toy God
Which Kaiju's horn followed and became Jaegers love interest because the power of alchohol and Frank, the eaten pizza.
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SomeFakeUsername911
You've been am-bushed!
Suddenly, Frank was resurrected, as he's the son of the pizza maker and Jesus, and lead the Japanese to attack Pearl Harbor again.
Shadowfall
Freshly cut.
The dead/alive Jaeger and his Kaiju girl moved to intercept the cheesy weeaboo threat.
Communist
Making Marx proud since... Never
But then Neptune appeared out of nowhere and said "oh my how lewd" and started to laugh.
SomeFakeUsername911
You've been am-bushed!
Frank took the Death Star from the other story and made it fire it's donger at Pearl Harbor, destroying it.
Birdsie
The God-Emperor of Mankind
But there was a great danger behind his action, for it enraged the dark overlord himself; Donald Trump.
SomeFakeUsername911
You've been am-bushed!
Frank made the Death Star fire at the White House.
Shadowfall
Freshly cut.
But due to the immense power of Donald Trump, he activated the anti immigration defenses, with a cry of "WALL UP!"
SomeFakeUsername911
You've been am-bushed!
The laser bounced off the wall and destroyed a tree, which destroyed would launch 7 nukes to the moon.
IctoraPost
You've got mail
The moon retaliated by raining down moon cheese on Earth, hailing the start of the apocalypse.
SomeFakeUsername911
You've been am-bushed!
Frank was covered in moon cheese, turning him into moon ppizza.
Birdsie
The God-Emperor of Mankind
Donald Trump was just about to make a deal with the devil, but he was stopped by...
