Fandom Squad Shithead: A Naruto AU

[Pine]

Tetsuo wanted to bash his head through a wall. Or through Katsuro's skull. He couldn't decide on which.

He wanted to storm out of there and away from everyone, but just a little way down the hallway was her and he'd rather bite his teeth down on the steel doors than deal with any more of her smartass attitude.

He had anticipated so much for Katsuro to launch him from the building and have him endure whatever ridiculous punishment he could think of, it took him a second to process what seemed to be Katsuro letting him off the hook.

When he told him to calm down, Tetsuo actually made an effort to listen. He pressed his hands against his face, rubbing up and down and around his eyes as though to physically soothe out the tension. In the back of his head, he knew his temper had gotten the better of him and he'd made a scene. This was the last place he would want that to happen in, and yet it was as though that lady Matsuda had used a mesh of steel wool to prick under his skin and grate him with it.

He knew also that Katsuro's remarks were the closest he could get to sympathy from the man and he shouldn't toss away the proverbial olive branch he'd been handed, no matter how bent out of shape it was.

Tetsuo was quiet the rest of the way through the building and in their dismissal outside.

Haruki, also, had been quietly attentive. He was surprised, too, when their sensei dismissed them, without punishment or making them return to the memorial. It was a pleasant surprise, one that he thought he might celebrate with his teammates...

But Tetsuo had hurried off, taking to the nearest rooftop to get away from his squad, and Mizu more disappointingly had turned to walk off onto a path separate from his own.

He frowned a little to himself, but took the hint and started walking back home. Haruki did suppose his teammates would be tired after the exercise earlier today, which he'd graciously missed thanks for a mixup with the squad assignments earlier that morning. At least, that's what had happened to the best of his understanding. And he supposed that Katsuro was having them meet up pretty early in the morning...

Haruki walked a little faster, making his way straight into Konoha's shopping district.

Originally when his family had moved into Konoha, they had been living in an apartment, leased out to them by the village, along with refugees from other villages who had also endangered their families by aiding the Land of Fire during the war. The number of people needing residence had increased the longer the war dragged on, and so did the pressure increase for them to find some other means of establishing their living quarters. And so Haruki's family had taken the weapon shop his dad had opened up and built some space in the back for them to live in. It was cramped, so he spent a lot more of his free time walking around the shopping district and the rest of the village than he did at home.

The crowd of the street had thinned out now, with many shop owners shutting their blinds and sliding "CLOSED" signs against the windows. There seemed to be more moths flying around the lampposts than there were people, so for once Haruki wasn't having to squeeze in between groups of adults to make his way home.

He knew his father's store would be closed, so before he even reached the tiny shop, garnished with a battle fan on display in one window and a long sword in the other, he was already reaching in his pouch for a key.

There was a quiet "ding" from the bell above when he opened the door. "I'm home!" he announced to an empty shop before pausing. The shop had counters along both walls, making two upside-down "L"s meet midway along the backwall. There was a small flap connecting the counters, secured by a childproof latch, which you could lift up to get behind them. Immediately after that was a thick curtain, which could be pulled back to enter their "home" extension.

"I guess everyone's gone," Haruki said to himself, a little disappointed. Usually there'd be a glow behind the curtain from the lights behind, but it was completely dark underneath. If he had to guess then, that meant his parents were out gambling again.

Haruki crouched under the lift-up flap and pulled back the curtain. Before descending the tiny stairwell, he flipped the light switch to the side on with his knuckle.

"Surprise!" his family shouted at him in unison.

He had to squint while his eyes adjusted again, but he was grinning ear to ear as he searched the the faces of his family, all crammed in impossible spaces in their tiny kitchen/living area. His sister had popped out from crouching under the table to hug him, while his mom had been squeezing herself into a corner, who also jogged over to hug him.

His dad had somehow managed to squeeze most of his body into a cabinet under the kitchen counter, and when they all realized his lower half was stuck, they all laughed before trying to help pull him out.

His parents were middle-aged, but Haruki could feel the strength in his father's hand when he clasped it on his shoulder being pulled from the cabinet. It'd been years since he'd been in the mines, but his physique still showed the history of it.

"Haruki, my boy, finally a genin," he said, looking at him with watery eyes.

He still had a toothy grin on his face. "Come on, Dad, it's not that big of a deal."

But he knew just how much his father was passionate for Konoha and their service during the war. It'd been his dream to have his son enroll and graduate from the academy, and now that was what he had.

Before he could launch into a long-winded speech about what an honor it was, and how proud his should be, his sister physically butted in. She pinched Haruki's cheek, almost painfully, with her long nails, then draped her arm around his shoulders.

Aimi was nearly twice his age, and given that, they hadn't spent that much time together. Unlike her brother, her hair was a long, golden brown. In the past, she would always pull her hair back into a braid. Nowadays, however, she always wore it down, in an effort to cover up the gnarly scar left behind from where Kumo ninjas had cut her ear off.

"Good job, dork. Dad called me insisting that I be here. Lucky you," she said, grinning down on him.

"Aimi, don't call your brother a dork," their mother chided. "He's a shinobi now."

Aimi rolled her eyes and smirked at her brother.

"Come on, this is a celebration!" their dad said. "Barbecue tonight. Haruki, you eat as much as you can handle. If my boy's going to grow big and strong, we gotta' put some meat on those bones."

His laugh was booming as he corralled Haruki out of their shop-home and into the streets of the shopping district.

It was apparent to the two siblings how much more of a big deal this was to both of their parents, mother included, who smiled big and walked with a hurried excitement to the restaurant, than it was to Haruki himself. They nevertheless played along, neither speaking a word of it.

Haruki only hoped he could get enough sleep tonight.


Tetsuo

Stress buzzed around his head and squeezed his temples. After his initial escape from his squad, he would have very much have liked to enjoy the cool, quiet night air with a leisurely night stroll. If he had done that, maybe he would have time to sort out his thoughts and feelings, but he knew he didn't have time for that. Not if he was going to get a decent amount of sleep.

So Tetsuo hurried home, his body still feeling way too warm with emotion.

When he arrived, he found that very little had changed since he was last in there. It was completely dark, except for the light coming from under his sister's door. By the time he'd slipped his sandals off, his eyes had adjusted.

The smell of stew wafted through the home. Shoes still in hand, he walked into the kitchen. The stove was still on. Tetsuo sighed heavily through his nose, turning the heat off and moving the pot from the stove.

While he cleaned up the kitchen – bowls, ladle, cutting board, empty bags carelessly thrown everywhere – he could hear the gentle puffs of his mom snoring, and snippets of whispers coming from his sister's room, no doubt thinking she could fool him yet into thinking she fell asleep.

When that was done, not bothering to take a bowl of stew for himself, he went into the master bedroom. In there, his mom was buried somewhere beneath the mound of blankets, sleeping soundly. Tetsuo didn't look for her, but instead inspected the wastebasket next to her bed. The smell of vomit hit him before the sight of it did.

This was the second time she'd thrown up recently. The first time he'd found her running a fever.

He covered his nose in his jacket as best as he could and tried not to think about it. He hastened to refresh the basket.

After that, he made his way to the bathroom. He opened Sōtō's drawer and grabbed the toothbrush in there. He tested the bristles with his thumb. They were dry.

Tetsuo shook his head to himself, grabbed a bottle of ointment from one of the cabinets, then hoisted himself to sit up on the counter. He unwound the bandages Katsuro had wrapped on his feet before. Tetsuo poked at the skin, looking at the cracks, sores, and feeling where there was still a faint burning sensation. He rubbed the ointment in before grabbing a fresh bandage to wrap around it.

Then it was Sōtō's room.

When he walked in, a flurry of movement, where the two girls had pulled the blanket over their heads. To the credit of his neighbor, she tried making an almost-convincing snore.

Tetsuo flicked the light on and off. "Sōtō, I know you're not asleep. Come on, it's time for bed."

For a few seconds, the wriggling of little girl forms ceased under the cover. She was really making an effort now.

This didn't stop him from ripping the cover off from both of them.

"Hey!" Sōtō yelled in protest. "I was sleeping!"

He ignored her and pointed at her friend. "Is she sleeping over?"

Sōtō nodded in affirmation, though her lips were still pouting.

"Did you ask her parents if that was okay?"

"Yes, they said it was fine," Sōtō said, making a huge display of annoyance by rolling her eyes up to the ceiling.

"Is she going to be sleeping in the same bed as you?"

"Yes, Tetsuo."

"Okay, then no complaints if you don't have enough room. Now both of you, go brush your teeth."

"We already did!" Sōtō lied. Behind her, Michi nodded her head along.

"No you didn't," he said, in the kind of voice of someone who's had this conversation numerous times. "Come on, it's bedtime."

He nudged his dental hygiene prisoners out of the room and back into the bathroom, where arranged Michi with a spare and brushed his own teeth alongside them, to ensure that they spent the proper amount of time on it.

After tucking them into bed, he finally was able to make it to his own room and drop his sandals down. A crushing exhaustion weighed down on him only then, but he still had a few more things to do. He shed his shinobi tools and outfit with a clatter on the wooden floor and slipped into a big, plain t-shirt, which had been passed down to him from his dad. He slept in it almost every night.

He barely managed to make the mental leaps to plan out what he would need to take care of before leaving in the morning, and calculate how much time was needed in order to do that.

When he finally set his alarm and slipped under the covers of his mattress which, like Sōtō's, was on the floor with no bedframe, he did not fall asleep so much as he passed out.

- - - - -

Haruki had been the first to arrive. This may not have been the case except that, since they were meeting at the hospital his mother was a receptionist for, she made him get ready and walk to work with her.

His eyes stung, sitting cross-legged on the pavement outside of the hospital doors. His mother had been eager to meet his sensei, but Haruki kept reminding her that their meetup time wasn't for another thirty minutes, and so she reluctantly had gone into the hospital. He wasn't entirely sure she would stay in there when the time arrived for the rest of his squad to be there, however.

He had been up until midnight, at least, and Haruki knew that he would've been up much later without the help of his sister to drill into his parents' heads that he needed to be up early. His parents easily could've gone for another couple of hours, drinking and sharing in merriment. The restaurant would've shut down by then, but that wouldn't have stopped them from trying to party at home.

By contrast, Tetsuo had arrived by only hugging onto the very last second of their allotted meetup time, and he'd come running.

Indeed, for different reasons, both of the boys had sleep still in their eyes there in front of the Sakura Haruno hospital, at 6:30 AM sharp.

 

[Pine]

Haruki would try many more times that night. More times than he had ever wanted to try. The more he tried, the worse it seemed he got. He would take one step forward, then three steps back. Mizu and Tetsuo traded off trying to coach him, but every session with Tetsuo got shorter and shorter. Finally the last time, Haruki was felt so tired, beaten, and frustrated that he refused to work with Tetsuo before they could even begin.

This was, of course, when Katsuro returned, just as the two boys were on the brink of getting into a fight with each other. Needless to say, their sensei was not pleased. When he finally dismissed them at around midnight, he did so very clearly feeling exacerbated.

Sando, given the size of the estate, easily accommodated each of them with their own bedroom.

Haruki was unusually agitated for his disposition, so he didn't even have it in him to admire the inifite-thread silk sheets that he found himself snuggled in. At the moment, in spite of his exhaustion, he felt like he was trying to sleep in wrapping paper. He kicked the blanket, thinking about how he wished it was Tetsuo's shins for putting him down the entire evening. It was somehow even more infuriating knowing that this happened while his teammate was genuinely making an effort to be companionable. Haruki tossed over, pulling sheets with him, thinking about how he couldn't even get all the way up the tree trunk, yet he was expected to traverse a minefield the next morning.

Exhaustion eventually won, and he was finally able to slip into the sleep he so desperately needed to carry him through the night.

Tetsuo, on the other hand, had barely managed to change into his pajamas before he passed out on the mattress.

In his dream, he was visited by the sun. It shone too close by, engulfing the sky. The moisture in his body had completely vaporized, until his lips had turned to dust he choked on in his mouth.

Tetsuo jerked awake in a coughing fit. He was bowed over, as if he could cough the itchiness right out of his throat. It took him a moment to realize there was no itchiness in his throat, at least not as he'd imagined it. His mouth tasted tacky, but it was just from the usual morning breath.

He sighed and sank back into the pillow. His eyes stung both to have open or closed, but soon he fell back asleep. Tetsuo would have yet another dream reminiscent of the genjutsu that had tormented him earlier that day before it was finally time to rise.

Just like in Tetsuo's room, housekeeping staff had come into Haruki's room and threw the curtains open. Haruki only cocooned himself further in his sheets, which had completely been displaced from any position on the bed normally expected of bed sheets to be. The servant had to be very insistent in order to get him out of bed, some of which had included wrestling with the sheets Haruki held tight to himself.

In spite of the difficulties had by that poor worker, Haruki did eventually join the rest of his squad at the dining table, sliding on the bench right next to Mizu.

Tetsuo sat across by Katsuro (in spite of the smell). An entire buffet of omelettes and pancakes was set in front of them before anyone had even got there. Still, the staff seemed to find an inexhaustible number of tiny details to adjust for the setup that kept them buzzing around like a fly infestation.

Tetsuo eventually caught one of them. "Bring me a black coffee, please."

The servant paused, looking at the small boy, then looking at the gruff man sitting next to him uncertainly, as though to ask, 'Is that allowed?'

Haruki nursed an apple juice before slicing into an okonomiyaki.

 

[Gilzar]

"Sorry kid." Katsuro said in reply to Haruki. Haruki may have overpacked for the mission, but that didn't mean Katsuro wanted all of his things to burn away. It was a lesson that Haruki probably wouldn't forget, but it was unfortunate that it had to have gone to the extremes.

Mizu also frowned upon realizing that all of the things she packed were gone. She did pack light, but the girl didn't have much to begin with. The other two pieces of clothing were key parts of the small collection of gear she had. Even the clothes she had on now were ruined. Internally she just shrugged it off. They had been through so much these past few days that she just couldn't bring forth the energy to care about it. Once they got back they'd be paid, and Mizu would just have to do some clothes shopping.

With nobody objecting to Katsuro, he led the group out of the forest and back to the main road. He didn't have his map on him, but Katsuro remembered the route well enough even in the dark. Most of the walk back down to the border train station was relatively easy. Almost the entire route was downhill, a blessing considering the rough shape the group was in. Mizu and Katsuro barely spoke a word the entire walk. After about an hour and a half of walking, they reached the train station. The group then had to wait for the earliest train route, which was at 7 AM.

After a long wait, the group finally boarded the train and headed home. The ride back was uneventful, but it only lasted an hour and a half. Hopping out of the train, just as the group was about to enter the village gates they were halted by the chunin manning the entry booth.

"Kaito instructed me to send you to his office. He wants to personally debrief you."

Katsuro complied and lead his group back to the Hokage office. The time was now around 9AM.

----------

Kaito calmly sat at his desk within the Hokage's office, in the same exact manner as when the group last saw him. Nothing had changed about the office since the team was last inside of it. The room was completely devoid of any decorations, other than the old desk that sat at the center with a few papers lining the top of it. Even Kaito looked exactly the same, draped in the same outfit as before.

Behind Kaito stood Matsuda. She was leaning back against one of the small sections of wall between the giant windows overlooking the village. Her arms were crossed, and she carried the same warm smile the group had become accustomed to at this point. Matsuda looked upon the group in a way that made it seem like she was proud of them, even though most of them had only just met her a few days before.

"Please, come in." Kaito instructed to the group as the enter. He clasped his hands together, casually raising them near his face.

Katsuro motioned his group to enter behind him, and stood attentively in front of the temporary Hokage's desk.

"I've received the full report from the Hidden Sand, as well as your reports over the phone Katsuro." Kaito said in his calm, emotionless tone. "I understand things didn't go as planned...and I apologize. Had I known of the dangers beforehand I would not have sent you."

He paused for a moment, letting his words sink in before continuing. "However, you all handled yourselves well. Both Sando and Rei are now safely in Sunagakure. The ANBU team was pleased with you going beyond the mission guidelines to protect Rei and Sando, and so am I. They've all agreed to forfeit the bounty on the rogue chunin you brought down so that it goes to you three genin."

Kaito then reached into his desk, and brought out four envelopes. Each one was labeled by name and contained their payment for the mission. He set them at the end of his desk for them to grab.

"After all you've been through you've earned some time off. Starting now, you are all to take a week off. Then you will spend the following two weeks training under your instructor. After that there will be another mission for you."

"Any questions?"

 

[Pine]

Haruki, once again, began humming a single tone to himself as Matsuda gave him the answer he did not want. As she explained all of the 'how's and the 'why's for the technique, he imagined the word 'boredom' rotating in his mind on a spit, rotisserie-style. Idly, he wondered if it was too late to change his mind and ask to learn one of the other water-style techniques she had offered before. Then he remembered his imagined, extremely unpleasant sensation of forming the water necessary for ejecting an offensive maneuver directly from his mouth.

Just before he got too caught up in wallowing in his own misery, Matsuda surprised him by with a playful flick of her fingers and a wink.

Haruki blushed lightly, and he covered the spot on his forehead that she'd touched with his own hand. He rubbed at the spot, partly to cover where he felt his cheeks coloring as Matsuda tempted him with the prospect of impressing bystanders on or near the pier. He pouted his lips, thoughtfully this time. Then he asked, a tad conspiratorially, "You think I might be able to splash them from here?"

Haruki mulled everything over for a moment more, letting the gentle waves of the canal rock his body up and down. In an instant, he swung his legs up then back into the water, propelling himself back onto his feet. "Okay! I'm gonna' try it again."

- - - - -

Thanks to Matsuda's patience, and her own willingness to adapt and try different methods of getting through to Haruki, her temporarily designated pupil was able to adequately get the handsigns down by the next day. After that came drills for the actual technique. For the first several days, it was difficult to stay motivated and not be discouraged as he fumbled through combining every element of the jutsu at once. So often the little mound of water he managed to raise up would just as soon cave in on itself to be nothing more than a mere ripple, the wave would fail to maintain a speed that could hold its shape, or otherwise its direction would swing out of control and turn to submerge him beneath its wave.

Nearly midway through their last week together, Haruki had yet another moment where things seemed to click together for him. Suddenly, every individual component was a facet he could tune simultaneously, and the beginning of a respectable wave had started to form. As his excitement mounted, an explosion of progress was made. The regiment of handsigns had been drilled so thoroughly into him, he no longer thought about them. When his hands touched the water, it lapped up obediently. In two days' time, Haruki had elevated a wave that barely reached his sternum to pulling up to his shoulders, growing only from there as it accelerated down the canal's way. It was taxing on his chakra reserve, just as Matsuda had promised, but seeing and feelings the effects of his efforts were rewarding in a way he wasn't sure he'd ever experienced.

After that second day, however, Haruki seemed to run out of ideas on what he could do from there, and it seemed as if all momentum had been lost. There was very little headway he was making to refine his waves into the sharp edges of Matsuda's own. By the end of the week, it seemed the jutsu would be usable within specific contexts, but the power differential between himself and his tutor was stark.

- - - - -

On the day of their mission, they met directly in front of the Hokage's office. Tetsuo had easily arrived with several minutes to spare. Ever since his volunteer work with the hospital had ended, he almost felt as if he had too much time on his hands. Soto had been much more demanding of his attention since he'd gotten back from his first mission, but the mudanity of child's play and the hours after he'd put her to bed instilled a sort of restlessness in him once more. Tetsuo had considered for a moment that he may want to try volunteering at the hospital again, but he just as quickly dismissed it when he realized almost two full weeks had passed without an iota of the excitement he'd experienced on his first day working there. It would not be fulfilling in the way that he needed.

His training with Katsuro had provided exactly what he'd wanted — the lag between his reassignment from his last team to his current one, as well ad what he deemed as ineffective training under his previous instructor, had left him feeling dull in his speed and power. After three weeks of almost nonstop grinding, he almost felt revitalized, as if he'd come into himself again, but with the addition now of feeling better able to lead an offensive charge. While he felt clearer in mind and body, he the urge to use it more and more only grew.

Four weeks, it felt, was entirely too long between missions. This was a complaint he would've made long ago too when they had first come back from the Land of Birds, but he'd been too hungry and exhausted to think of it at the time. But while he wanted to change his routine from training and get on with a new mission like never before, his early arrival had been in some vain hope that everyone else would be there early, and so they could get started even sooner. The idea of seeing the rest of his squad all together again filled him with dread, but he endured the best he could with great impatience.

- - - - -

Haruki arrived just on the cusp of being late, dragging his feet behind him. He still felt the effects his training the past few weeks had on his body. If that wasn't enough to exhaust him, his parents had kept him out for what they considered to be yet another landmark achievement. He had finished his first official round of training since becoming a genin, and this had been cause enough for his parents to get plastered and keep their son up well past midnight. Now, with not enough sleep, he felt his eyes stinging every moment he left them open or forced them shut.

While he was not looking forward to starting a new mission right after the night he'd just had, a part of him was excited to see Mizu again. After not seeing her for so long, and having what he felt like was a repaired relationship between himself and Matsuda, it had completely slipped his mind that he'd still felt an awkward-resentment the last time he'd seen her. For now, though, he would do no more than give a wave and a yawn upon his arrival. The dirty look their other teammate cast briefly his way had been completely lost to him as he shut his eyes and waited to hear his next instruction.