Spew out weird quotes.

[Windsock]

Hey everybody, now, this may not be known, but I maintain an 'OutofCon.Txt.' file on my computer for a couple good laughs. It's at least 30% raunchy quotes, but, nonetheless, I think we can have some fun and share a giggle over a similar concept. So, what this entails, is that every poster has to post something that sounds off without context.


It can be from anything, from an RP you've been in, to something you've said, to something one of your friends said one time, or something you've seen anyone else say but the important part is that it's weird/funny as hell when taken out of context. Everyone has to have at least one, but you can post as many as you'd like.


So, I'll start with a couple good ones.

Spoiler

"He then scraped the sludge back into the burger wrapper and picked up the sledgehammer as a backup weapon."


"My mom just searched for "trigger warning" on etsy"


"steven's dad cucked her and she found out"


"I heard gay people are like snakes and they can unhinge their jaw"


"I bet that is an epileptics motto: Seize the day"


"Why isn't it teethpaste"


"Thankfully, I have balls of steel, and I'm over 83% helium."


"I guess cyber Wario over there should have danced safer when confronting a Joestar"
 

 

[Shadowfall]

[COLOR= rgb(37, 37, 37)]"A cleaved head no longer plots."[/COLOR]


[COLOR= rgb(37, 37, 37)]"A head stuck on a pike no longer conspires." [/COLOR]


[COLOR= rgb(37, 37, 37)]"Put to the sword they who disagree."[/COLOR]


[COLOR= rgb(37, 37, 37)]-Khorne, Chaos God Of Blood[/COLOR]

 

[Dugym]

"I haven't tried slapping people with my butt."
​

P1: "Santa vs Guns, who wins?"
​

P2: "BOOM BOOM BOOM!"
​

P3: "WOOF WOOF WOOF!"
​

P1: "And Santa wins."
​

"His head stuck up his ass this morning and then proceeded to wallow in his own glory."
​

"I AM NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHOT!"
​

"Well I can break my neck for art."
​

"I play with the big boys though."
​

P1: "That sounds...weird."
​

P2: "Almost weird enough for you know where."
​

P1: "Grapefruits are holy."
​

P2: "Skeletons are sexy."
​

P1: "Benches are lovely."
​

"Wow! Lemons allow rapid aging?!"
​

P1: "How about I call my gun a Yin Yang?"
​

P2: "Why?"
​

P1: "Yin is how you were before I shot you in the nose, and Yang is after the matter."
​

P3: "I don't think that's how Yin and Yang work. At all."
​

"How creepy does it feel to be born with someone's hand on your butt?"
​

"Stop killing secretaries, Box."
​

"Bi braindead king!"
​

"I might need reiteration of this because it just sounded like he pooped out or something."
​

"IT WAS EATING ME!!"
​

"Did you get to the part where he gets naked?"
​

 

[Dugym]

P1: "I'd hate to imagine getting a whole snake sewed into my tailbone area."
​

P2: "You hear a hiss and an attempted sliver from your tailbone."
​

"I like breaking people."
​

"I've almost stabbed myself on nails several times."
​

"We've been doing the roleplay so far with the assumption that people can wear their clothing, I think."
​

"You just need to take it in a little at a time."
​

"Hiss...."
​

"It's so soft and it makes your skin feel so good..."
​

"Alastair did multiple things in one piss."
​

"I don't know, my parents haven't been kidnapped before."
​

"In my opinion, pervert introverts can be a bit more scary then the extroverted pervert."
​

"This entire roleplay is just a bunch of disabled people beating each other up."
​

"But I don't think wake-up slappy robots are commonplace."
​

"There were killer cats running around, and I had a katana for some strange reason, and was needed to kill the cats because they kept trying to kill me."
​

"Just not sure why people would spontaneously become vikings."
​

"I'm afraid the human mind isn't quite as simple as the rainbow."
​

P1: "Oh wow I forgot junior year was important."
​

P2: "You're at negative fail."
​

"I hang with the kids my man."
​

"How dare you oppress the pig dogs? That's a sin almost to the scale of disrespecting the conch. Don't mock the conch, it will end you."
​

"Crud, what am I going to do with my ass now?"
​

"Goodnight Ben, goodnight moon, goodnight NSA watching me in my room."
​

"See y'all tomorrow for more genocide."
​

"Does she go with her friend or the intriguing yet suspicious young man and the extremely suspicious middle-aged man?"
​

"I thought you de-evolved and became a useless flab."
​

"Now allow me to take a break as I drink this delicious container of clorox."
​

"Every citizen will be allowed to write one line of code for the presidential robot!"
​

 
​

 
​

 

[Dugym]

"MY GERMAN SIDE IS AGGRAVATED!!"
​

"Why would I want a toaster that roasts people for me?"
​

P1: "It's the size that matters."
​

P2: "Size matters."
​

"Ben can't knock cents into a piggy bank."
​

"He tried to eat a massive throbbing dictionary."
​

"I have some murder to get back to."
​

"Once on vacation he took a bath in the cheese hot tub."
​

"A baby that uses the computer should be tracked by their Mom."
​

"Obviously weird supplements help you quit smoking, and food comas need Lipozene, but they're at Candy Land."
​

"They couldn't transform into a tiger, but they could give themselves a gorilla arm."
​

"Lorenzo having affairs."
​

"What is it, a flying gym or something?"
​

"But the most exciting thing I do is make 16 year olds slam skateboards into people's skulls."
​

P1: "YAY FOR PUKING OUT OUR INSIDES!!"
​

P2: "HELL YEAH!"
​

"But the serial killer helped more old ladies across the street..!"
​

"I would see if the facial recognition system in my brain recognizes them as human."
​

"What if the filter bubble is a real bubble blown out of jet engines that settles around our head and sucks out our brains?"
​

"GRAAAAAAH! ME AAAAAAAAANGRY!!"
​

P1: "Leap, you're grounded."
​

P2: "FFFFFF-expletives-"
​

P3: "She's just the kind of girl that likes to burst out in expletives for no reason."
​

"Then it would just be a bunch of mostly weak old men hitting each other with stuff."
​

"And Benjamin Franklin pulled out his ray gun. 'EAT LIGHTNING, REDCOATS,' he screamed."
​

"I'M GONNA BOUNCE ON MY TAIL NOW!"
​

"...I want a forest of slave trees...!"
​

P1: "Like someone trying to kill you isn't gonna suddenly make love to you because you spray them with a faceful of pheromones."
​

P2: "Darn."
​

P3: "Well there goes that plan."
​

"I like plotting."
​

"HORSE LIMO! LIMOUSINE OF HORSES."
​

"I SAW YOU IN THAT BOY'S BATHROOM. I SAW YOU IN YOUR UNDIES!"
​

P1: "Is there anything logical to say?"
​

P2: "I know. 'Okay, rocket cars aren't a thing in 1890.'"
​

"I thought it was about sheeps and dogs sniffing each other's butts. Kill me."
​

 
​

 
​

 

[Devious Dilbert]

"I'll be your momma now. Come to my bosom, young boy."
​

 
​

"I will make you feel like a women."
​

 
​

"Sodomized? I'm just a baby!"
​

 
​

P1: "If I don't hear what happened in two seconds, I am going to unleash the Criken."
​

P2: "Me and Buck FUCKED on stream."
​

 
​

P1: "Knock knock, bro-"
​

P2: "AAUUGH-"
​

 
​

"The Tunnel Succs rule!"
​

 
​

P1: "Stop being that guy!"
​

P2: "What guy? Is it cuz' I'm black?!"
​

 
​

"It takes a lot more than that to be in one of my videos- GUYJERKING OFF-"
​

 
​

P1: "Make it seem like you're leaving."
​

P2: "I'm leaving."
​

P1: "That's good."
​

 
​

"Damn, I'm just over here trying to watch the turtles and you're dropping hints at me."
​

 
​

"I gotta go- Gas baby's diaper is full of shit-"
​

 
​

"ALL YOUR FECES ARE MINE-"
​

 
​

"WHO DO YOU VOODOO, BITCH?!"
​

 
​

"They took my toys... Now I will take their lives."
​

 
​

P1: "It's working! Keep singing, Edwad!"
​

P1 & P2: *suggestive sounds*
​

P1 & P2: *Heavy sigh*
​

 
​

"Kony's coming for ya, boys! No child left behind!"
​

 

[Ferociousfeind]

Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.


-Denis Diderot

 

[Windsock]

Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.


-Denis Diderot

Supposed to be funny, not edgy.


Got some more though

Spoiler

"is it a banana wearing a hamster costume, or a hamster wearing a banana costume?"
 


"I doubt that a horny 10-year old child drew this."


"Alien LSD and consensual probing. All the tentacles with none of the hentai."


"I also enjoy black licorice."



"host a game frogfuck, I'll meme you. This is my pawnshop"


"I'll show you a fucking smurf"


"Pee is gold, so maybe there’s gold in pee, let’s distill some!"


"McCheese wasn't always mayor, he had to get good grades just like anyone else"

 

[Shadowfall]

[COLOR= rgb(34, 34, 34)]"I'm Rick Harrison, and this is my pawn shop. I work here with my old man and my son, Big Hoss. Everything in here has a story and a price. One thing I've learned after 21 years - you never know what is gonna come through that door."[/COLOR]


[COLOR= rgb(34, 34, 34)]-Rick Harrison[/COLOR]

 

[Archon]

"Grimgor iz da best!"


-Grimgor Ironhide

 

[Windsock]

I got another good one.


"I know a guy who knows a guy who knows how to do numbers, and that guy is me."

 

[Scattered Ambitions]

"Don't rape your hand. Just...don't do it."


A friend to me yesterday during a conversation.

 

[Esper Alucard]

"I-i'm not perverted! Just because i... watch people through windows and occasionally stare at... It's not my fault! *Muffled ranting*"


And that's my perverted and motherly dragon girl oc just for comedy!

 

[Scattered Ambitions]

"I knew I should have gotten the insurance on the elephant."

 

[Scattered Ambitions]

"Did the body die somewhere else?"


"Would you like to yell at some cheese?

 

[Scattered Ambitions]

"I've got some stretch marks that would say otherwise."

 

[Dugym]

"is it a banana wearing a hamster costume, or a hamster wearing a banana costume?"

If it was a banana wearing a hamster costume, the hamster would either be unusually large (with some other quirks) or very similar to a banana in shape.


If it was a hamster wearing a banana costume, the banana would either be unusually large (with some other quirks) or very similar to a hamster in shape.

 

[Scattered Ambitions]

"It all begun on the day of my actual birth. Both of my parents failed to show up."

 

[Scattered Ambitions]

"Big Laundry"

 

[Esper Alucard]

Cole (B, Older brother) and Leo (R, Younger Brother)


R: "Its been 3 years since i last seen you... Also since we last fought"


B: "And you will still fall... You are a childish bunny, little brother"


R: "Whatever, i dont need my brother turning into some crazed demon ki-... Cole?


B: "What? i wasnt staring..."


R: "WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING THESE 3 YEARS?"


B: "... l love you, Leonardo"


R: "What? Hold on just a..."


Cole falls onto Leo


R: "GET OFF OF ME"


B "I hope you like carrots... sweet hare"


-My perverted friend's fanfic of the Galfion brothers

 

[Blessing]

Don't die until you're dead.

 

[Scattered Ambitions]

"You can't date until you're married."


My friends mom to her this morning.

 

[The Golden Lion]

 "This man stole my happiness from me...and gave me a new happiness. Farewell... my second love..


-Tomoe Enishi-

 

[Ferociousfeind]

"Gromet! We forgot the cheese!" -Wallace, headed for the moon

 

[Spencarian]

​