bwi
the bts life
This is the opening paragraphs of a short story that I'm writing for school. It needs to be in the horror genre. (just for some context)
Marina scuffed the bottom of her shoe on the porch of her friend Conner’s house. Everything about it was the same-the slightly worn brick, the way the porch seemed to sag under her weight and the clattering of the window panes as the autumn breeze rushed by-but something felt off. Instead of the sound of the wind chimes putting her at ease, they seemed to clang, echoing through the hush of the night and causing a shiver to crawl over her skin.
Marina wrapped her cardigan closer around herself before raising her fist to knock on the door again. It opened with a creak before her knuckles could even touch the metal and she was left staring at a very unimpressed looking Zack. His tall frame cast a shadow across the porch, making her squint up at him.
In the second paragraph, I know that "metal" probably isn't the right word but I honestly couldn't think of anything better. Also, do you think Zack's appearance needs more description or would that be too much paired with the opening description? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!
Marina scuffed the bottom of her shoe on the porch of her friend Conner’s house. Everything about it was the same-the slightly worn brick, the way the porch seemed to sag under her weight and the clattering of the window panes as the autumn breeze rushed by-but something felt off. Instead of the sound of the wind chimes putting her at ease, they seemed to clang, echoing through the hush of the night and causing a shiver to crawl over her skin.
Marina wrapped her cardigan closer around herself before raising her fist to knock on the door again. It opened with a creak before her knuckles could even touch the metal and she was left staring at a very unimpressed looking Zack. His tall frame cast a shadow across the porch, making her squint up at him.
In the second paragraph, I know that "metal" probably isn't the right word but I honestly couldn't think of anything better. Also, do you think Zack's appearance needs more description or would that be too much paired with the opening description? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!