Advice/Help So.....

River Rose

RIP Avicii 1989-2018
Lately, it seems like no one ever wants to rp with me. Just today, I showed a thread to someone, and they absolutely flipped. And a while before that, I was rping with someone who refused to bond with my character in any way! And a while before that, I was refused a roleplay I had been craving for a long time, just because I couldn’t reveal my age. I’m a paranoid little idiot, but that doesn’t affect my ability to roleplay certain topics. This is turning into a bit of a rant. On a lighter note, I rebooted a roleplay of mine that got really stale. On a less bright note, almost none of the old members want to join. Basically, this is just me saying that I’m awful at getting people to roleplay with me. I have simple needs people! Respond within twenty-four hours, and don’t get offended by my paranoia. It is that simple. Have any of you ever experienced this? And if so, is there a way to dig myself out of this never-ending pit of rude/unaccepting/bad roleplaying?
 
It can be difficult to find the right roleplaying groove from the start but it can get easier with time once you start to meet more people. Each roleplayer is unique and we all have our own preferences when it comes to the people we write with. There isn't a particular formula, special magic trick, or ancient ritual that will pull you out of the loop. Sometimes it's even just a matter of continuing the search.
 
I can't speak to anything else, but the age thing is... well, look, it's not you.

It might feel like it is. But it's not.

I'm not ancient, but I'm old enough to remember how to change RAM types in DOS. I remember actual Quarter Bins and Beakmann's World and the Northridge Earthquake.

And there are absolutely some things I would not feel comfortable RPing about with someone who can't vote, yet. It's not an indictment of the other person's skill, or their competency with writing or language, or their ability to handle mature topics. It's that, for me, I would feel squicked as heck running an involved romance plot with someone younger than my cat.

So, if someone doesn't want to RP with someone else because they won't disclose their age, that is what they're protecting themselves against.

RP is meant to be a fun escape -- for everyone involved. Everyone is going to have their comfort zones. Even the older players.


ETA:

Musician's absolutely right. A lot of finding RPs is just... searching. Pinging into the darkness and hoping that someone will hear you.
 
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Okay, but is there like a forum or community where I can find people who want to play specific topics?
 
You mean the RpN Community isn't good enough for ya?! hehee teasing

You'll have to be more specific as to the topics you're looking for.
 
DC Universe, MCU, Umbrella Academy, my original ideas (taking traditionally tough stereotypes and making them soft).
 
You can look through for anything with the Fandom prefix in the recruitment threads. I have seen a few of those things around. Superheroes are quite popular!
 
I've seen what you were doing, and for the latter part, I think it might be a bit of impatience in play. On this site, you need to wait. Waiting is a must. You can set time limits within the Roleplay, but waiting for people to join Roleplays first takes patience.
 
R River Rose so I love superheroes and I think in general they’re decently popular. It might be the 24 hour reply time table that’s tripping you up. Not a lot of folks can reply daily.
Yeah, I get that. I just get really anxious, and I think of the worst possible scenarios. I prefer to not have any more panic attacks than I’m already having.
 
Yeah, I get that. I just get really anxious, and I think of the worst possible scenarios. I prefer to not have any more panic attacks than I’m already having.

If roleplay is giving you panic attacks you might want to talk to your mental health professional about coping mechanisms.

I personally found mantras and medication helped but every individual is different so it’s best to go straight to professionals if this is an issue you have.
 
If roleplay is giving you panic attacks you might want to talk to your mental health professional about coping mechanisms.

I personally found mantras and medication helped but every individual is different so it’s best to go straight to professionals if this is an issue you have.
Bruh, it’s not like that. Back on topic please.
 
Bruh, it’s not like that. Back on topic please.

You said roleplay was giving you panic attacks. I assumed you meant the medical definition and offered a solution.

If you mean you have low self esteem than I recommend mantras. As I mentioned in another thread your problem is at its core your own internal monologue.

So you need to change that monologue and you will have better luck with roleplays.

So first and foremost you need to remember “No one hates me/my writing/my ideas/etc. This is all in my head. It’s not real.”
 
Okay, my anxiety isn’t about the actual roleplaying. It’s concern and paranoia about the whereabouts and state of the people I roleplay with. That’s why I only really wait twenty-four hours
 
Like everyone said, this isn't about you- it isn't your fault or anything of that sort. You probably just haven't found the right person/people yet. There are definitely people out there that will click with you; it's just a matter of time. I'm sure if you continue the search, you'd be able to find someone that'll be happy to roleplay with you and meet your requirements. Nonetheless, you should keep in mind that not everyone can do so, and there'll definitely be rejections. For example, I wouldn't be able to reply every 24 hours. However, there'll be others out there who can! Therefore, don't give up.

As for age, some people aren't comfortable about roleplaying with someone who's 10 years their junior. However, there are many roleplayers that also don't mind about the age of their partner. Maybe you can search for those instead- most people would specify in their thread. Not revealing one's age is also a form of protection, and no one should force you to do so.

With that said, I hope you'll be able to find a good roleplay!
 
Just today, I showed a thread to someone, and they absolutely flipped.

Meaning? And how did you show the thread to them? There's a lot of context to that that's being omitted.

And a while before that, I was rping with someone who refused to bond with my character in any way!

So they were roleplaying with you, just not in the way you would like...

And a while before that, I was refused a roleplay I had been craving for a long time, just because I couldn’t reveal my age.
Has nothing to do with you specifically, it has to do with some people not feeling comfortable playing with people below a certain age and not wanting to take the risk.

On a lighter note, I rebooted a roleplay of mine that got really stale.
Yeah that happens a lot with a lot of roleplays. You need the right melting pot of players and an adequate amount of GM intervention relative to the plot, plus just general luck with IRL conditions.

On a less bright note, almost none of the old members want to join.
If a project fails on you once and you move on, those are two reasons why a person might not want to join. Furthermore, a big reason why people end up stale is a lack of motivation. If they lacked motivation in the first place, this would only make it more likely that they wouldn't want to join the reboot.

I have simple needs people! Respond within twenty-four hours, and don’t get offended by my paranoia. It is that simple.

And no one else has any obligation to cater to your needs. It's a two-way street, you have to present yourself as a good enough offer. Instead, right now at least you're coming off as rather entitled and rude.

I went and had a look through your interest checks and you're not usually like this. You do occasionally seem to make an off-putting comment here and there, but they're evidently jokes most of the time. Overall you interest checks seem to be rather ok. The only things, which I must state are minor things, are how desperate you come off with how much posting and bumps you do of different interest checks, as well as a focus on gore which one might worry would be against the rules:
Extreme written descriptions or media (photographic media, animated media, videos) of gore or violence are not allowed. Illustrated gore or violence can be posted, but must be placed within a spoiler BBCode tag.

In the end, aside from what everyone else has said and with full awareness of how awful and cold-hearted this may sound, I think a little more patience is really what you need. I think you're shooting yourself in the foot by rushing things. I'm not a mind reader and your problems aren't obvious, but from every bit of information I can gather wanting things to be there or happen in a certain way right away seems to the only obstacle in front of you right now which you can fix.

Okay, but is there like a forum or community where I can find people who want to play specific topics?
On the search button on the top right of your screen, click the "filters" button. That will take you to the advanced search which you can use to look for the specific things you want.


I hope this helps. Best of luck and happy RPing!
 
Okay, my anxiety isn’t about the actual roleplaying. It’s concern and paranoia about the whereabouts and state of the people I roleplay with. That’s why I only really wait twenty-four hours

So as someone whose partners have regular catastrophes pop up IRL (from unexpected hospitalizations, to death in the family, to having their internet cut off)

If find the best way to handle those sorts of things is again with a bit of patience and just using logic to calm yourself sown.

If your partner is hurt than the best thing can do is to remain calm and have patience.

Most people will bring up genuine emergencies unprompted. Especially if you treat them with empathy.

If you ask things like “Hey are you feeling okay?” “Are you having a bad week?” “Are you feeling sick?”

Every time a genuine emergency popped up in my past the person let me know at the earliest convenience. So you might need to wait more than 24 hours but if a real emergency came up they’ll probably let you know.

Otherwise they might just be busy or have forgotten.
 
Hello! Since I just read this topic and the tag is Advice/Help, I want to give a little bit insight. Ignore me if you think my opinion is not aligned with what kind of advices you expect ^^

First, instead of "looking" for a decent roleplayer, let's start with looking to ourselves first, have we been a decent roleplayer?
Second, instead of "wondering" why does everyone seem like they don't want to roleplay with me, start by reflecting to ourselves first, what did we do that make them walking away?

I'm not saying that IT IS YOU, but IT MIGHT BE YOU.

Sometimes the answer already lies within ourselves, but we refuse to look deeper onto it and rather, blame the other party.

What I said is not a baseless idea. My apologies, but I do try to look up why you face such circumstances because I really wanna help you to find the solutions =)

Hope this helps and sorry if it's a little bit cold-hearted.
May you have a good day ^^
 

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