Other So You Think You Can Pun?

[Mugcake]

If someone made a similar thread preceding this, then let me tell you this, OP. Where the hell have you been all my life? Oh, and, I've been searching forever, but I don't think I'd see your thread any time soon scrolling back so much, so ...


Some people like baking, others like Jensen Ackles. Some people like eating their ice cream cones from the bottom, others like marsala (it's the colour for 2015, in case you didn't know - don't worry, I had to Google this as well).


Me? I like puns. And this will be a community-contributed collection book for some of the best puns we've come cross. So, pun-ch your card and get working!

Why did the Mexican push his wife off the cliff?

Spoiler

Tequila.


Roping you in, @Ghost because I know you would love this.

 

[kibou]

Oh god. I need to invite you to my pun discussion. I'm going to get on that straight-away.


What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?


Wipe

 

[Mugcake]

@Ghost I didn't get that one- holy crap everywhere i go there be toilet jokes including this sentence with no comma.

 

[marorda]

What did the Elven Bard say when she wandered into the Ice Dragon's Palace?

Spoiler

WHOA! This place is so cool!

 

[Geun Sae]

Jokes about menstruation aren't funny


Period


Why can't you hunt bald eagles?


It's ill-egal


Why is the library the tallest building in your town?


It has the most stories

 

[Mugcake]

Why did the doctor throw a fit in the clinic?

He ran out of patients!

 

[Sparkstorm1000]

Sorry, I think of any good puns.... I'm not punny enough THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT!!!!!

 

[Venonmious]

A man just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy. D:<


Atheism is a non-prophet organization.


Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor


The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.


I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.


What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.

 

[LizardWizard]

 

[grey987]

What cellphone company does Bruce Wayne rely on?


Bat Mobile.

 

[Yennefer]

You're living, you occupy space, and you have mass.


You matter

 

[Sleipnir]

Do you use heavenly magic or nether magic?


Aether/or, but nether both.

 

[BDark]

Are you guys really doing this on porpoise ? Wattever.


You just touched a bear wire. I sea. How shocking.


Electricity hertz.


I would've made some scientific puns, but all the good ones argon.

 

[Silvana]

How do you organize a party in space? You planet.

 

[Sylvio]

I couldn’t laugh at these cheesy puns. You can say I’m laughtose intolerant

 

[Madruga]

Why are dragons easy to weigh? Because they have scales!

 

[Sylvio]

What do you call gnomes without a home?


gnomads

 

[Gundam Watcher 27]

Sorry to cut the cheese but......

Spoiler

I ate too much pizza.

 

[Sir Swigglesworth]

Man, y'all got some puns eh? I'd love to make some but a lot of the time my ideas are like the ocean, that shit just comes in waves.

 

[Gundam Watcher 27]

Speaking of shit in waves, A Tsunami of puns will wash you away.

 

[KRONOS]

Man, y'all got some puns eh? I'd love to make some but a lot of the time my ideas are like the ocean, that shit just comes in waves.

Seriously? Thats not even... punny.