Advice/Help Silly/Utilitarian Magic Items/Potions

[Pat]

I'm making a magic focused roleplay where roleplayers will be students attending a mage college lighthouse outside a tundra coastal city. The story will primarily focus on learning, trips to the nearby city (either for doing quests or for pleasure), exploration of the college itself, and an overreaching plot I won't go into detail here.

I'm curious to see if anyone has any suggestions for magical items that are useful outside of combat, only situationally useful, are silly but worthwhile enough to use for whatever actual benefits they DO provide, and simply silly items without any purpose to them whatsoever. I plan to have at least a hundred items and potions.

Here's a few examples I have personally created that I haven't either modified or stolen from the minds of other people.

1) Spyder, a remote controllable wind up spider that can do tasks for those who are attuned to it.

2) Catland Admission Ticket, a one use item that teleports the user to a extraplanar pocket dimension filled with nothing but cats for a few minutes or for one round of combat.

3) Noose of Long Breath, a sentient necklace of rope that temporarily doubles lung capacity. It tightens the longer it is worn, and attempts to choke characters when they try to take it off.

 

[BackSet]

Gloves of Sandiwchmaking: A pair of gloves that make you an expert at making Sandwiches... and that's it. The Sandwiches give bonuses and heal health but what bonuses and how much health is healed (if at all) vary (if this is a tabletop rpg one would have to roll a die to see what effetc they get). Of course, you can only make sandwiches when you have the materials.

Book of Exhaustion: A magical book that, when opened, can put anyone to sleep. Upon being opened it immediately starts reading it's own contents in the most monotone voice ever. It comes in several versions on several topics which can be specially selected for maximum effect by using a book on whatever subject the target finds most boring.

 

[laceanddoodles]

This is... the worst magic item. It's an inside joke amongst my friends as being an awful idea, but maybe you'll find it fun.

Sentient gun. An enchanted gun that is sentient. Following the trope of "sentient sword that guides the hero towards good or evil," but it's a.... gun.

 

[rae2nerdy]

I am a huge fan of using animals for various uses so here are some critters that would be beneficial to young mages.

- Vulcan Tortoise : a mid size tortoise that produces a steady heat from large vents located on its shell. They are use in replacement of fireplaces as they are mobile and don’t produce any flames. You just feed them a nice diet of tree bark and the odd bit of coal.

- Coin Hopper frog : you would need to keep this little guy in a terrarium cuz he’s not for the cold weather. But it’s an inch long golden frog that produces lucky coins every time he leaps. For the dedicated naturalist student he’s a good way to make a bit of pocket money on the side.

- Curse Eater : there are multiple variations of this concept but for the tundra setting I’m thinking a weasel like creature with a starfish face that sniffs out and eats curses. A must have if you are declaring a blood feud with your roommate.

- Wishing Shells : turtle that produce a reflective kind of divination magic that shows your fondness desire. If well treated for the length of a year and a day they produce eggs that help you achieve said wish. Not for students as their a finicky creature but would be a good macguffin to have the students try to acquire.

- Beastly Book of Beasties : a tome that teaches you how to make “beasties” which are basically animal servants that can take a human like form.

Babble Fish - silvery semi-aquatic creature that looks like a koi. Thought to be distantly related to Long (Asian) dragons it is known for its ability to speak any tongue. They will whisper the secrets of a language into your ear at night. They eat stray thoughts so can prove dangerous over time. Their scales are used in Babble Tea and their eyes are used in Study Buddy Tea.

Babble Tea - a tea made by steeping Babble Fish and the ash of a book written in a foreign tongue. It produces a fishy tasting drink that helps you learn any language you might need for studying. If you want to speak to plants or animals substitute the ash for a bit of fur or leaves. (Effects last for three days)

Study Buddy Treats - you boil Babble Fish eyes for about five minutes then eat them. They help you see in stray thoughts you might have and brush them aside when your studying.

 

[Pat]

Gloves of Sandiwchmaking: A pair of gloves that make you an expert at making Sandwiches... and that's it. The Sandwiches give bonuses and heal health but what bonuses and how much health is healed (if at all) vary (if this is a tabletop rpg one would have to roll a die to see what effetc they get). Of course, you can only make sandwiches when you have the materials.

Book of Exhaustion: A magical book that, when opened, can put anyone to sleep. Upon being opened it immediately starts reading it's own contents in the most monotone voice ever. It comes in several versions on several topics which can be specially selected for maximum effect by using a book on whatever subject the target finds most boring.

I was thinking of adding a club of healing. To do healing, you need to first wallop your allies with a swing of solid painful oak. I like where you're going with the food idea because I'm planning to have food be a scarcity outside of the 'cafeteria' that can be circumvented in a few ways. Like finding a breadstick cornucopia that spawns a handful of dinner/dessert breadsticks every few minutes. The book also will probably find it's way into the library as maybe a defense measure if anyone becomes knowledge obsessed.

This is... the worst magic item. It's an inside joke amongst my friends as being an awful idea, but maybe you'll find it fun.

Sentient gun. An enchanted gun that is sentient. Following the trope of "sentient sword that guides the hero towards good or evil," but it's a.... gun.

I heard about an item that becomes sentient with the soul of whoever you most recently killed with the item, but this is really good. Things that come to mind is a mimic guitar, a mimic that has fallen in love with music and street food, or maybe a fantasy version of a Swiss army knife that demands to be used every way it can be used.

I am a huge fan of using animals for various uses so here are some critters that would be beneficial to young mages.

- Vulcan Tortoise : a mid size tortoise that produces a steady heat from large vents located on its shell. They are use in replacement of fireplaces as they are mobile and don’t produce any flames. You just feed them a nice diet of tree bark and the odd bit of coal.

- Coin Hopper frog : you would need to keep this little guy in a terrarium cuz he’s not for the cold weather. But it’s an inch long golden frog that produces lucky coins every time he leaps. For the dedicated naturalist student he’s a good way to make a bit of pocket money on the side.

- Curse Eater : there are multiple variations of this concept but for the tundra setting I’m thinking a weasel like creature with a starfish face that sniffs out and eats curses. A must have if you are declaring a blood feud with your roommate.

- Wishing Shells : turtle that produce a reflective kind of divination magic that shows your fondness desire. If well treated for the length of a year and a day they produce eggs that help you achieve said wish. Not for students as their a finicky creature but would be a good macguffin to have the students try to acquire.

- Beastly Book of Beasties : a tome that teaches you how to make “beasties” which are basically animal servants that can take a human like form.

Babble Fish - silvery semi-aquatic creature that looks like a koi. Thought to be distantly related to Long (Asian) dragons it is known for its ability to speak any tongue. They will whisper the secrets of a language into your ear at night. They eat stray thoughts so can prove dangerous over time. Their scales are used in Babble Tea and their eyes are used in Study Buddy Tea.

Babble Tea - a tea made by steeping Babble Fish and the ash of a book written in a foreign tongue. It produces a fishy tasting drink that helps you learn any language you might need for studying. If you want to speak to plants or animals substitute the ash for a bit of fur or leaves. (Effects last for three days)

Study Buddy Treats - you boil Babble Fish eyes for about five minutes then eat them. They help you see in stray thoughts you might have and brush them aside when your studying.

Me too. I planned on having dormitory pet mascots like flightless dragons that're essentially glorified opposums/foxes that basically do nothing useful and are minor fire hazards, along with arctic seals that have legs and a webbed appearance. The starnose weasel idea particularly draws my eye. The book and the potions are also great because I plan to have a lot of otherwise useless or only situationally useful animals around that could be turned into beasties, and for fishing to be a thing that people can partake in.

​

I thought up the seven different circles of magic awhile ago with a friend, who did the symbols for the different disciplines I thought up. I basically want to make a Homebrew DnD Discord roleplay with a very fleshed out magic system and a world focused around magic that I feel Eberron and normal DnD don't do. For example, I plan on anachronistic looking potion factories with 'unicorn horn' smokestacks that spew polluting rainbow colored byproducts of potion manufacture, and to have a few eccentric tinkerers, alchemists, artificers, and so on around that the roleplayers can meet and maybe assist. A big thing of the roleplay is going to be jobs, tours, interviews, internships, ect, at the various magical businesses a ferry ride away at the tundra city near the lighthouse.

 

[Ace Cream]

Cape of heroic billowing, it's a magic cape. It can billow without any wind. Now you can make that cool introduction pose, everywhere!

Cape of heinous billowing, same as above, but it's a ragged bloody cape! Oh the edge.

Cloak of vanishing, a cloak that make the wearer enter invisibility state if no people are nearby. Might seems useless, but can be used against scouting spells and even patrol drones.

Pandorii box, a fancy looking box that enchant the people nearby to open it. Upon being opened, release a light that erase the nearby people's memory for the last minute and then the box close itself.

Potion of hardening. A pair of different potion that do nothing by itself, but when mixed together forms a very hard solid substance that can even break steel.

Fruitkin. Sentient fruits that scream at you asking to be eaten, they even advertise their own health benefits. A wizard's failed attempt at educating people to eat more fruit.

Scroll of confidental information. A scroll used to store very secret info. Anyone that see the scroll other than the writer will only find pornographic image instead.

 

[shroomier]

just a stupid idea i just got, but here it is:

Chips of Loathing - No, not normal chips. POKER chips. If you, or someone else, decide to inhale one of these cursed chips, it causes a deep hatred towards a randomized person in a 20 ft x 20 ft radius, a hate that you would try to bash their reputation online, or steal their car and kill their dog.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Pandorii box, a fancy looking box that enchant the people nearby to open it. Upon being opened, release a light that erase the nearby people's memory for the last minute and then the box close itself.


Fruitkin. Sentient fruits that scream at you asking to be eaten, they even advertise their own health benefits. A wizard's failed attempt at educating people to eat more fruit.

you mind if I borrow these for my HP role plays? I will credit you but they would work perfectly with the kind of whimsical but practical aspects of the world.

 

[Ace Cream]

you mind if I borrow these for my HP role plays? I will credit you but they would work perfectly with the kind of whimsical but practical aspects of the world.

Sure thing. Glad someone else noticed some practicality in the ideas XD

 

[Alteras]

Here's an item that I made for my character a long time ago.

Band in a Box: A wooden block often seen in the hands of a bartender, it looks like an ordinary piece wood. Pouring a consumable liquid on it will make its walls recede to form a small wooden homunculi band. The band would proceed to play music until a new liquid is poured on it or it drys up, returning to its original form. The music played varies depending on the type of drink poured on it, giving the bar a repertoire of songs as long as the bartender's cocktail menu.

 

[baggysack]

I remember I gave a half-elf scam artist the relic, "Clutching Pearls." If for some reason you want to avoid the bright side of a situation, consulting this pearl necklace will always spell out the worst possible result for a course of actions. For example:

"What'll happen if I turn left?"
That leads to Main Street where the corporal's ordered for two patrols. A minute late and you'll play right into their hands.
"And if go right?"
You could slip on a puddle and throw out your back. No one would be there to help you.
"Right, so no one's down that way. I can sneak by. Thanks, Clutching Pearls!"
You have a one-millionth chance of being struck by lightning.

 

[BackSet]

I remember I gave a half-elf scam artist the relic, "Clutching Pearls." If for some reason you want to avoid the bright side of a situation, consulting this pearl necklace will always spell out the worst possible result for a course of actions. For example:

"What'll happen if I turn left?"
That leads to Main Street where the corporal's ordered for two patrols. A minute late and you'll play right into their hands.
"And if go right?"
You could slip on a puddle and throw out your back. No one would be there to help you.
"Right, so no one's down that way. I can sneak by. Thanks, Clutching Pearls!"
You have a one-millionth chance of being struck by lightning.

I want that item now.

 

[StrixDesmodus]

These concepts are the best!

 

[rae2nerdy]

I remember I gave a half-elf scam artist the relic, "Clutching Pearls." If for some reason you want to avoid the bright side of a situation, consulting this pearl necklace will always spell out the worst possible result for a course of actions. For example:

"What'll happen if I turn left?"
That leads to Main Street where the corporal's ordered for two patrols. A minute late and you'll play right into their hands.
"And if go right?"
You could slip on a puddle and throw out your back. No one would be there to help you.
"Right, so no one's down that way. I can sneak by. Thanks, Clutching Pearls!"
You have a one-millionth chance of being struck by lightning.

A variation on this that might fit the phrase “Clutching My Pearls” could be “My Clutching Pearls” which are items which activate an artful swoon and shrieking incoherence any time the wearer is in an argument that they can’t win but don’t want to engage in anymore.

 

[baggysack]

A variation on this that might fit the phrase “Clutching My Pearls” could be “My Clutching Pearls” which are items which activate an artful swoon and shrieking incoherence any time the wearer is in an argument that they can’t win but don’t want to engage in anymore.

Even better! It'd fit the old character too.

 

[proiettile]

- Beastly Book of Beasties : a tome that teaches you how to make “beasties” which are basically animal servants that can take a human like form.

when i read this, i saw the word 'beasties', and i immediately thought of the beastie boys... what is wrong with me lmao

 

[defenderofberk]

I'm making a magic focused roleplay where roleplayers will be students attending a mage college lighthouse outside a tundra coastal city. The story will primarily focus on learning, trips to the nearby city (either for doing quests or for pleasure), exploration of the college itself, and an overreaching plot I won't go into detail here.

I'm curious to see if anyone has any suggestions for magical items that are useful outside of combat, only situationally useful, are silly but worthwhile enough to use for whatever actual benefits they DO provide, and simply silly items without any purpose to them whatsoever. I plan to have at least a hundred items and potions.

Here's a few examples I have personally created that I haven't either modified or stolen from the minds of other people.

1) Spyder, a remote controllable wind up spider that can do tasks for those who are attuned to it.

2) Catland Admission Ticket, a one use item that teleports the user to a extraplanar pocket dimension filled with nothing but cats for a few minutes or for one round of combat.

3) Noose of Long Breath, a sentient necklace of rope that temporarily doubles lung capacity. It tightens the longer it is worn, and attempts to choke characters when they try to take it off.

honestly I want a catland admission ticket

In one of my role plays my character came across a cursed necklace that could sense who they desired most and then talk to them in that voice, while slowly driving them mad. It'd start in their dreams and after a while they'd start hearing their crushes voice everywhere.

 

[Pat]

honestly I want a catland admission ticket

In one of my role plays my character came across a cursed necklace that could sense who they desired most and then talk to them in that voice, while slowly driving them mad. It'd start in their dreams and after a while they'd start hearing their crushes voice everywhere.

I played a DnD campaign where my character collected millions of cats, making cats extinct on a continent, and secretly made them all bidpedal sentient beings in a mini plane of cats. He was banned from the capital of the empire, along with another city, who were afraid of what he was doing with the cats. He had cats of all shapes and sizes. Snake cats with stumpy legs, a bright red cat the size of a bus who only eats meat drained of blood that escaped from a divine maximum security prison by sticking it's head through a hole and squeezing it's body through, cats that had fluffy tails that plumed, gnome cats that were spherical and never aged out of kittenhood, ect. Eventually the cats ascended to become angels, and invaded a part of the heavens in a bloodless unopposed invasion, establishing a cat kingdom.

 

[Pat]

And that wasn't even the main plot of the DnD campaign, that was just my character's hobby he did on the side. The other half of what he did was selling deadly inventions he made as an artificer or shooting things with his diamond firing blunderbuss that could punch people.

 

[defenderofberk]

I played a DnD campaign where my character collected millions of cats, making cats extinct on a continent, and secretly made them all bidpedal sentient beings in a mini plane of cats. He was banned from the capital of the empire, along with another city, who were afraid of what he was doing with the cats. He had cats of all shapes and sizes. Snake cats with stumpy legs, a bright red cat the size of a bus who only eats meat drained of blood that escaped from a divine maximum security prison by sticking it's head through a hole and squeezing it's body through, cats that had fluffy tails that plumed, gnome cats that were spherical and never aged out of kittenhood, ect. Eventually the cats ascended to become angels, and invaded a part of the heavens in a bloodless unopposed invasion, establishing a cat kingdom.

That sounds so awesome

 

[Virus]

Magical items.. Eh?
Heheeheehe...

Magic crystals of oz:
A small box of crystals are given to you, with a chart, telling you which one does what with your magic (from a series I've watched thousands of times)

Staff of darkness:
A large black crystal staff that holds dark magic (some call s it nightmare fuel, or nightmare magic)


Cloak of unveiling:
A large black cloak that if worn, it wil reveal the wearers darkest fears...

 

[M.J. Saulnier]

I love the idea of a healing club that requires the desired target to be hit with it. Perhaps the person needs to be knocked unconcious by the club before the healing begins to run its course. That would make it a bit more comical and complicated plot-wise.

The Dreamcatcher Stone
A brilliantly cut, translucent gemstone that, when placed upon the forehead of a sleeping individual, will project their dream like a magic hologram of sorts.

The Lier of Truth
A hammock weaved from magical thread. Whilst laying in it, individuals are incapable of telling a lie when asked any question. Alternatively; When a lie is told by someone laying in it, it wraps around them, trapping them inside.

Ring of Vagrants
A ring that, when worn on the finger, teleports the wearer to a random location around the school grounds every 5-10 minutes.

Sven's Invisibility Potion
A one of a kind potion of invisibility created by a former student named Sven. Rather than make the user invisible, it makes everyone else invisible to them. As a bonus, it allows them to see any person or object currently affected by an invisibility spell or enchantment.



I may have more if I take a night or two.

 

[SupremerMemer]

The Fallen Angel's Cursed Wedding Ring:
A Magical Ring That Can Prevent Death To Its Wearer, However It Continues To Corrupt There Soul With Evil Magic. This Ancient Ring Was Created From The Love Of An Angel And A Demon. The Demon Had Proposed To The Angel, However On There Wedding Day, The Demon's Father Murdered The Angel, However Her True Love Used A Ancient Forbidden Spell To Resurrect Her, Using The Ring As The Spells Host. She Was Resurrected, But She Wanted Revenge, And Murdered The Demon's Father. However She Was Fatally Stabbed In The Process, Ending Both There Lives. But The Ring Saved Her, At The Cost Of Corrupting Her Form And Morals. She Had Become A Fallen Angel, And Only Cared For Herself And Her Lover. Now Her Curse Haunts This Ring, Which Was Bound Within A Bronze Box That Was Enchanted With A Sealing Spell. (sorry if its kinda long. imma big fantasy geek)

 

[Sludge]

Telebucket
It is a bucket, but the bottom is a small portal to any other (vaguely) circular shape you can think off.

This includes, but is not limited to:

• Any other bucket or toilet bowl
• The headmaster's plate
• The Pacific Ocean
• Any of the nine circles of hell