Realistic or Modern 𝕤𝕙𝕠𝕨 𝕞𝕖 𝕙𝕠𝕨 // (1x1)

[doedeer]

Spoiler: elias david morgen

★ ! ⌗ FULL NAME :
elias david morgen


★ ! ⌗ NICKNAMES :
ely (ee-lie)

★ ! ⌗ AGE :
18 (march 17)

★ ! ⌗ GENDER :
cis male

★ ! ⌗ PRONOUNS :
he/him

★ ! ⌗ SEXUALITY :
heterosexual

★ ! ⌗ NATIONALITY :
danish american

★ ! ⌗ ETHNICITY :
danish, finnish, hungarian

​

𔘓 -⠀᪤ APPEARANCE : - ★​

★ ! ⌗ HEIGHT :
6’2’’

★ ! ⌗ PHYSIQUE :
tall, slightly lean but on the slender side

★ ! ⌗ EYE COLOR :
green/hazel

★ ! ⌗ HAIR COLOR :
dark brown

★ ! ⌗ HAIR STYLES :
always down, his layered bangs sometimes getting in his eyes

★ ! ⌗ OTHER FEATURES :
thick eyebrows. long, dark eyelashes. small freckle-like moles, some scattered on his body.
has faint scars all over: finger knuckles, right knee, above his left eyebrow, & on his elbow where a metal pin was inserted after an injury leading to surgery

★ ! ⌗ BODY MODIFICATIONS :
pierced ears, ((eventually gets a tattoo or more)

★ ! ⌗ WARDROBE STYLE :
in school: prefers to wear his white button-up untucked, only boy in school that wears studded belts which he hides from teachers under his uniform blazer, wears his tie looser,
outside of school: usually wears black or dark colored, distressed jeans. black waffle-knit or cotton-blend long sleeves/t-shirts, graphic tees, large hoodies, scuffed converse, vintage military boots. faded flannels, plain white tees. wooden rosaries. tiny silver earrings & necklaces.

​

𔘓 -⠀᪤ PERSONALITY : - 𖥦 ★​

★ ! ⌗ HISTORY :
was born in copenhagen, denmark very poor, but moved to seattle at the age of 6 due to his biological father being abusive to him, his mother and his newly born baby brother. his mother quickly married a rich man to leverage them and eventually sent him to the st.marks catholic school with the money his step-dad was able to provide for them. however, his step-dad wasn’t any better and would verbally abuse his mom and then try to aggresively get ely and his brother to warm up to him as his own sons. over time, little ely harbored a real hatred for his step-dad and dislike for his mom’s weakness in letting him treat her like he did even though he had lots of money. he developed an alcohol problem from ages 11-13 which quickly got him in trouble at school. the principal and staff at st.marks made a deal with his parents that if elias spent time in their church-funded youth rehabilitation center then they would let him keep attending school. so he took a year off and returned to the catholic school his second year of high school. since then he’s been fine, only dabbling in weed and other drugs BARELY but never making anything a huge issue besides his addiction to cigarettes.
★ ! ⌗ PERSONALITY :
naturally indifferent. nonchalant. quiet and always seems to be looking far off into nothing or deep in thought. eyebrows furrowed often. usually speaks up humorously or with intense candidacy. appears to be level-headed, but secretly is a bit of a mess. pretends to be less empathetic than he really is with other people, just has a difficult time showing he cares. his anxiety & depression is reason for his eventual abuse of drugs. he hates any and all strong emotions, prefers to drown them out. with the right girl he can be very charismatic.
however, when it comes to love he’s sick. sick as in, he can be so intensely head over heels. unfortunately terrible at communication, so his attempts in the realm of love can come off as strange, but VERY intense. very masculine, has natural urgency to protect people he loves.

★ ! ⌗ LIKES :
rainy, cold days. tea rather than coffee. playing guitar, writing poetry/lyrics. genres of rock music. sometimes reading, mostly european philosophy. classic literature. banned novels. vintage clothes, thrifting. animals, all kinds. making art, viewing art. usually his form of choice is painting or sculpture out of his own random materials. vanilla ice cream. expensive cologne, his one guilty pleasure. psychological horror movies. cigarettes, always one in his hand. has curiosity for drugs.

★ ! ⌗ DISLIKES :
hot, dry days. chocolate. neon colors. soulless, cheap music. class presentations. people who make fun of others’ for no reason but malice. eventually his drug habit, occasionally goes through the effort of not using ( probably during a certain turning point where he cares about the girl he loves who wants him to stop) but certain events or mental breaks do turn him over. alcohol.


★ ! ⌗ HOBBIES :
playing guitar til his fingers bleed. reading books. listening to music. works at the alternative record store. writing anything that comes to mind, skateboarding. painting, sometimes making art, leaving them around town when he’s bored or sick of seeing them in his room, watching the sky or clouds at his favorite park,

★ ! ⌗ MANNERISMS :
tossing his bangs out of his eyes constantly, just for it to fall into his face seconds/minutes later. cracking his neck or knuckles. smirking rather than smiling. clearing his throat.

★ ! ⌗ NERVOUS HABITS :
pausing a lot between words, swallowing hard. not making eye contact when he knows he’s not telling the truth (something she may catch on too). restless lack of sleep. squinting in quick succession as if his head hurts when he’s hurt by something said to him or getting upset., biting his finger nails due to anxiety when no one’s around

★ ! ⌗ ADDITIONAL INFO :
☆ loves classic or alt rock music mostly, but heavily enjoys shoegaze as well.
☆ has a younger brother named finn (12)
☆ is a citizen of denmark & the united states, born in copenhagen, denmark.

​

 

[milkiifox]

Spoiler: lillian hope parker

the sun.

★ ! ⌗ FULL NAME : lillian hope parker
★ ! ⌗ NICKNAMES : lillie , lil
★ ! ⌗ AGE : eighteen , born september 8th
★ ! ⌗ GENDER : female
★ ! ⌗ PRONOUNS : she/her
★ ! ⌗ SEXUALITY : heterosexual but bicurious
★ ! ⌗ NATIONALITY : american
★ ! ⌗ ETHNICITY : english , spanish


𔘓 -⠀᪤ APPEARANCE : - ★

★ ! ⌗ HEIGHT : 5'6"
★ ! ⌗ PHYSIQUE : slim with an hourglass figure
★ ! ⌗ EYE COLOR : light brown , can appear hazel in certain lighting
★ ! ⌗ HAIR COLOR : chocolate
★ ! ⌗ HAIR STYLES : generally she leaves her straight hair down but will pull it into a ponytail or bun if she needs it out of the way
★ ! ⌗ OTHER FEATURES : wears light makeup almost daily. beneath her foundation lies faint freckles splattered across her nose and cheeks
★ ! ⌗ BODY MODIFICATIONS : pierced ears (will eventually get tattoos and piercings)
★ ! ⌗ WARDROBE STYLE : if she's not seen in her black cardigan and navy plaid skirt for school then she generally will wear an appropriate t-shirt that is a size too big for her along with shapeless jeans. most of her clothes were her mother's or father's from the 90's. her work uniform consists of a tight black shirt and ebony leggings she keeps hidden from her parents.


𔘓 -⠀᪤ PERSONALITY : - 𖥦 ★

★ ! ⌗ HISTORY : lillian was born into a middle class family that closely serves the lord. from birth everything she did followed the rules set in the bible. her fondest early memories were those being at sunday school surrounded by friends and fun teachers. every year the faithful girl would go to a summer camp for weeks, allowing her freedom from her parents while she continued to worship every morning and night. around the time she entered high school even the bubbly, carefree girl noticed a sudden shift in her parents' attitude towards her. suddenly she wasn't allowed to attend sleepovers with her life long friends, her phone was only given to her while at school, and she had no say in what clothes she put on her body. although the change felt unfair and wrongly brought upon her, she still loves her parents and everything they've done for her.
★ ! ⌗ PERSONALITY : playful, tenacious, independent, ambitious, nurturing, charming, optimistic, amiable, confident, heavily naïve, can be emotionally volatile
★ ! ⌗ LIKES : animals, astronomy, working at the café, getting cozy on rainy days, baking desserts, crocheting small animals, trying different blends of coffee, the color black, bowling, singing (although not well), painting/drawing, flowers, collecting calico critters, camping, asian food
★ ! ⌗ DISLIKES : writing bible verses every morning, church, large crowds, mazes, the scent of axe body spray, hot weather, mustard, water where she can't see the bottom, parasitic bugs, not being able to wear what she wants, drinking room temperature water, cleaning
★ ! ⌗ HOBBIES : dog training, photography, parent approved video games, crocheting
★ ! ⌗ MANNERISMS : tilting her head like a puppy when she's confused. pouting constantly if something doesn't go her way. she taps her face more than the average person does in thought. mutters to herself. when she gets nervous she tends to giggle a lot and play with her hair, inherently confusing many boys when they take these actions as flirtatious encouragement.
★ ! ⌗ ADDITIONAL INFO : lillian spends the most time with her standard poodle, venus, she received as a gift for her birthday last year. since she isn't allowed to see her friends much after school she spends her extra time playing, training, or hanging out with her fluffy best friend.

a little lamb in a wolf's wonderful world

the moon.

© PASTA[/ISPOILER]​

 

[doedeer]

ELIAS--------

mood: nonchalant

OUTFIT: school uniform

MENTIONS: x

INTERACTIONS: x

TAGS: tags tags tags tags tags

Contrary to a typical day in August, the weather in Seattle was grey with on and off rain. In fact, it was actually pretty wet for the past two days–even though August was usually the warmer of the months. The newscast was predicting this short burst of cold only for a couple days and then the regularly cool and dry state of summer would return to it’s normalcy. It was something of a reminder for the townspeople that the rainy and bitter cold months of fall were approaching. It was well into the first last month of school for seniors at St. Marks Catholic Academy.
Elias was trying not to doze off in his fourth period literature class, his elbow resting on the wooden desk–eyes out the window looking down upon the main courtyard of the school. Dewdrops concealed a hazy veil over the large windows and he was watching the drops of rain pick up speed as they drizzled down the glass. This was the second year of high school after the entire ordeal that prompted his hiatus sophomore year into the school’s youth rehabilitation program and he had been doing quite well since his return. His grades were getting slightly better and at least he was actually attending class. Although, he still lacked any friends since he got back. Not that he really had any to begin with, but the acquantainces he had small contact with in the past had moved on to other friends or just stayed away from him in general. Ely couldn’t predict that getting almost plastered drunk every day as a freshman and sophomore in high school would result in parental complaints, but he did know that the disorderly unawareness that he developed through this addiction was the reason for the intervention. Either way, he was past this now. He was even at the point where he could drink occasionally without falling into a spiral, but he usually abstained from the act. His inhebriator of choice wasn’t so much as an inhebriator at all. Cigarettes had always been apart of his life since he was young, but it was as prevalent of a vice as ever now. It kept his anxiety at bay and at least got him through his days in a less destructive manner.

He looked down at the sloppy notes before him and then at the clock ticking away closer to lunch break. Normal public schools in the area allowed kids to eat off campus for lunch, but at the heavily church-funded school staff withhold students from leaving at the time of their arrival through the large steel gates to their departure. There was really no need since the school provided exceptional menu items, but for Elias it meant it was hard to leave whenever he wanted to. Of course, there was a certain route he could take within the campus that he could sneak out of but it usually took too much time and effort. He rarely did this ever since he got out of the rehab program–unless he was having an especially antsy morning.
Nowadays, he got in line for lunch like everyone else, chose his meal, and sat down behind the back corridor of the school, facing the tall fence and underneath the willow tree. No one was usually back here so he liked the peace and quiet.

As the bell rang, he gathered his belongings into a zipped navy blue backpack, languidly heading out the door behind bustling students and making his way towards the school cafeteria. As he got in line, he evaded a few slightly vexing expressions from people and kept a blank, apathetic face. He was always confused when he got looks like that. It had been well over a year and a half since the whole ordeal, but in a smaller religious-based school system he guessed it couldn’t be helped that some would still see him as offputting due to the past. It didn’t really help that he chose not to wear his uniform correctly. He usually shrugged this off. Besides, to him tucking in his shirt or not wearing his tie as tight as the rest of the boys was stupid and unnecessary–no one really pressed the issue to his face anyway. He received a plastic take-out box of a pesto croissant from one of the ladies behind the counter and paired it with a sprite, turning to walk towards the glass door leading to his every-day walk, through the vine-wrapped corridor and towards the empty courtyard. Another great thing about the serene area he’d spend his break at? Mostly no staff around so he could get away with smoking a single cigarette behind the willow tree. This was the one thing he was avidly looking forward to.

º º code by ditto º º

 

[milkiifox]

scroll

little lamb

lillian.

mood

curious

outfit

click me

location

st. marks catholic academy ; courtyard

the past few days of rain had the teenager in an even more cheery mood than usual. the gentle pitter patter of rain falling against earth outside of her bedroom resulted in marvelous sleep. lillian had begun the day as she did almost every time— she sat in the family's sunroom with a pen in her right hand and the bible in her left. she scribbled down her favorite lines from the holy book she had studied time after time. her parents, from a young age, had requested she do this every morning and encouraged her to do it for the rest of her life. the task did get boring; especially now that she was interested in spending her mornings before school simply lazing around in bed. wasting half an hour of her time seemed much more appealing than getting a lecture on religion and its importance from her parents.

after her shower the young maiden dressed herself in her appropriate uniform, her fingers busying themselves adjusting the white shirt she tucked into the plaid skirt. it was rather chilly that morning, therefore she threw on the matching ebony sweater that came with her attire. she paired the outfit with white tube socks and shiny black mary jane shoes. to complete the look, and add some flair, she hooked a diamond studded cross necklace behind her neck. some days lillie had time to throw on a bit of mascara and blush, albeit today she found herself running a bit behind schedule.

"lillian! the car will be leaving in thirty seconds!"

she heard her father call from downstairs. "coming!" she responded loudly, grabbing her backpack from the hook on her door and slinging it over her shoulder. her parents sat at the family's small dining area in the kitchen, her father finishing a mug of coffee while her mother cleaned up his empty breakfast plate.

"lillian, you missed breakfast. did you sleep past your alarm?" her mother inquired as she set the dishes in the sink.

"i may have hit snooze once or twice..." lillie murmured, chocolate optics lowering to her feet. "i got in my bible verses. i had to choose between that or eating." when she glanced up again she shot her parents a small smirk. "i'll just take this. i'm sorry, mom." she reached for a banana that sat in the corner of the counter in a bowl filled with various fruits. "i love you! come on, dad. i can't be late! today i'm having a very important test first period and i would like to get in a few more minutes of studying." she waved to her mother swiftly, grabbed her silver lunchbox that sat near the sink, then gave venus a small head pat prior to hurrying out of the door.

the school morning passed tremendously quick. before she knew it she was strutting down the hallway for her lunch period, her backpack draping casually over one shoulder while her hands occupied the handle of her lunchbox. "elizabeth! hey!" she squealed as she approached her best friend that waited for her at the entrance of the cafeteria.

"lillie you're never going to guess what happened." elizabeth brushed an artificial curl of blonde hair behind her ear, pausing for dramatic effect before she continued. "alyssa was telling everyone in second period about her date with ethan. apparently... they kissed!" she squeaked with excitement, a high pitched giggle soon following.

"they kissed?" lillian blinked in astonishment, the shock soon wearing off to join in on the giggles. "i wish i could have a boyfriend." she released a large sigh as the pair walked into the crowded cafeteria. "my parents said i'm not allowed to have one until after i graduate high school. but they don't understand that i'm very interested in it. what does it feel like to be that close to someone you're so attracted to?" a small pout bloated her bottom lip as the alluring thoughts swirled around her cranium. it was something she had pondered many times for the past few years, and it always made her face feel warm the longer she allowed herself to be consumed by it.

doe-like eyes suddenly found themselves glued to a surprising target, her head tilting slightly as she stared on. in line there stood a tall, thin figure with his uniform messy and his expression blank. elias. her brain reminded her of the boy she used to know. they used to be friends when they were younger, and as she recalled, she remembered having a crush on him. unfortunately she was told to stop going around him once her mother discovered his unfavorable tendencies from another parental. then... he disappeared for a year. many rumors surfaced after his departure resulting in him becoming outcast upon his return. she had seen him around only occasionally since he came back, yet before today she had been too nervous to approach him.

something inside her told her to find out today what really happened.

lillian was so lost in her mind that she hadn't even noticed elizabeth still talking. "hey, i'm gonna run to the restroom. save me a spot at the table?" she flashed her friend a wink, her gait slow as she watched elias grab his meal from the line. she paused, allowing him to exit ahead of her, then she quietly trailed after him as if she were a lost puppy. it was almost like he purposely hid between passing periods and lunch for this was quite the rare sighting to see him. she would soon discover where he chose to conceal himself from the rest of the school. lillie kept an inconspicuous distance from the young man until she saw him enter the empty courtyard.

nobody ever comes here. no wonder he chose this area.

she waited a minute or two, allowing elias to settle down before she surprised him with her visit. lillian took in a deep breath, working up the courage to reintroduce herself. would he remember her? would he even care? she feared she may get the cold shoulder from him and it would deter her curious spirit. no matter what, she needed to hear the truth from him. a final mental shove sent the girl casually strolling into the courtyard, optics sliding to the willow tree to take in its draping beauty. "wow. i haven't seen this tree since i first started here. it's much more beautiful than i remember." she spoke her thoughts aloud, her attention shifting to the boy nearby. she offered him a coy smile, her hands folding behind her back in a submissive manner.

"elias... right? i'm lillian. i don't know if you remember me. we used to play together. a lot has changed since those days, huh?"

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[doedeer]

ELIAS--------

mood: perplexed, intrigued, pleasantly surprised

OUTFIT: school uniform

MENTIONS: Lillian

INTERACTIONS: Lillian

TAGS: tags tags tags tags tags

As he neared his spot of solace, Elias looked out past the fence and a wave of wistful feelings washed over him. He steps over the stone-paved path to take a seat on the curved steel bench in front of the willow tree. For a moment, he felt six years old again–standing in front of a broken mirror hanging on his parents door, watching a chip fall out from the glass as his father put his fists to the wall adjacent from him. The mirror’s rusted steel frame rattled against the wall. That night, tears pooled in his eyes but he never saw them fall because the glass was so cracked. Instead, he just stared into his eyes wondering to himself if the person he was looking at was even real. And if he was real, why was he not moving? This memory was one of the most painful.


In these brief recounts, Elias could get lost easily. It was hints of fearful anger that morphed into a self-loathing he had for not being able to do anything about his father’s destruction. Between the shrill cries of his then newborn brother and the carnage erupting from whatever room the fighting would be going on in, a young Elias had always felt frozen in time. These were the thoughts that haunted the entirety of his youth.

It was bad enough that his step-father was an opposite evil, choosing to combat his family with his words rather than his fists–but nonetheless, just as brutal. There were no bruises now, but the house dynamic was still turned upside down by the breaking of objects and the mental scarring. By then, though, Elias had impeded his frozenness with alcohol to drown it all out. Secretly, he wished there had been alcohol in his youngest years so he could’ve forgotten more of his biological father.

He swallowed hard, his vision refocusing on the cars whirring by outside of the fence. Elias wondered how his imagination could take him so far away from what was right in front of him. It was darkly amusing. When he’d find himself in this circular cognition, he felt weak. The alcohol kept him away from those thoughts, but nowadays it was just him and the cold breeze. So there he was–a boy lightly coated in dew, heavily submerged in desolation, yet merely spending his lunch break alone under a willow tree.

He found himself absentmindedly gripping onto the plastic food container so he placed it in his backpack. He had lost his appetite anyway. Instead, he took out the light blue pack of cigarettes reading ‘American Spirit’ and his black lighter from the front pocket. He set it down next to him and played with the lighter for a moment. The misty, sprinkling of the raindrops felt cool on his skin.

Suddenly soft clacks appeared around the corner and an even softer voice came from them. It was a girl. His eyes were still on the ground at the voices’ mention of the willow tree. Elias felt unsure of her purpose of talking to him. No one ever really did. Maybe she didn’t know who he was. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see a contrast of white and black. Dewdrops were concealed on the patent of the girl’s mary janes and it reminded him of the window in class. And something else he couldn't quite put his finger on. Then, at her acknowledgement of him, he finally looked up meeting her browns with his greens–his expression rather dazed. Now he could see her clearly and as he did, a flash of sunlight grazed her face before disappearing into the clouds again. This granted him a sparkle of a light hazel in her eyes which caught him by surprise. He knew her.

Lillian on pen and paper. Lillie on the playground. Lils out of his own mouth in their youth–a secret nickname between them that he hadn’t recollected until now.

He hadn’t seen her in awhile it felt. As kids they’d play together often, but the natural atmosphere growing into a war of sexes made it popular for Elias to get teased for playing with a girl. However, there were times they’d sneak off anyway–picking dandelions and weeds in the yard behind the classrooms or climbing the big oak tree by the water fountains together. Even so, these escapades were quickly thwarted by the complexity of growing up and eventually, his drunken habit.

She had become quite beautiful. He always had some sort of soft spot for the girl in their youth, but it was difficult to remember anything aside from just pure feeling. Of all the things he wished he could have forgotten, the alcohol chose to take bits of Lillian from him.

“Uhh..yeah.” He trailed quietly, “They have.” His voice was deep and husky with a hint of his Finnish accent showing in his nervousness. Elias was a bit embarrassed, but he knew it was just due to his awe. It couldn’t be helped sometimes. He paused for a bit, feeling a surge of social anxiety come over him and his eyes darted away from hers for a second while he moved his pack of cigarettes for her, “There’s room on the bench,” Elias continued, looking up at her genially, but still unsure if this gesture was appropriate. Lillian approached him first and it wasn’t like he had much to lose by inviting her to spend the break with him. Besides, if he got a few puffs of nicotine in him he felt he could actually talk to her. And he really wanted to. He didn’t entirely know why, but it felt right.

With this, he opened the pack and took out a cigarette. Pressing his lips against the end and lighting it. Elias took the stick out of his mouth briefly to meet her eyes again. God, her eyes are pretty. He tossed the hair dangling in front of his eyes, “I hope you don’t mind.” Most people disliked their habit of cigarettes, but Elias enjoyed it a lot. He figured it was halfly a mental thing, but it genuinely calmed his nerves and helped him open up when he needed to.

º º code by ditto º º

 

[milkiifox]

scroll

little lamb

lillian.

mood

curious

outfit

click me

location

st. marks catholic academy ; courtyard

the memory of the dreary weather was drowned by the elation that overcame the young woman. her gentle smile grew to a thankful grin, nodding her head in agreement as a silent way of accepting his offer. in the most dainty way possible she took the seat beside elias on the metal bench. she was silent for a few moments, her attention trailing to the drops of dew that began to form on the layer of fuzz that decorated her ebony jacket. she squinted her eyes, her chin lifting upward to stare at the grey clouds hanging above their heads. certain sections of the clouds were dark and heavy with thick rain that soon would be blessing their skin with its chilly embrace.

lillian returned her gaze to elias, her eye catching his with a mutual interest sparking in their hazel depths. there was a small burst of excitement in her chest that sent her heart racing. the emotions of what used to be came rushing back to her in an unforeseen manner. being this close to him, enough to take in the scent of cigarettes that clung to his clothes, sent a thrill of exhilaration down her spine. it was silly that she was even feeling this way. he was just a human like everyone else, right? although she used to know elias... he was a new person; grown and shaped by his experiences unknown to her. he had developed into a handsome being, and the way he flicked his outgrown hair from his eyes made her giggle nervously.

in response to his muffled inquiry she rested her optics on his lips, her own mouth shifting back to its bashful smirk. "i don't." she murmured, her leg crossing over the other while he sparked up the cigarette. "i'm sure the teachers have grown tired of giving you warnings about it." she chuckled, her lunchbox being placed neatly on her lap. "but, this is a nice little area they don't bother to come back to. it's peaceful. i can see why you like coming here to get away from everyone." she gave him a final glance prior to clicking open the lock that held her tin lunchbox together. inside was an organized arrangement of last night's dinner— a vegetarian rice dish with a side of fruit and a homemade brownie. naturally her slender figures picked up the plastic bag with the brownie, opening the dessert with vigor. "elias, do you have a lunch?" she asked with her lips pursing in thought.

before he could properly answer her she tore the brownie in half, her body leaning towards his as she offered the dessert to him. "you can have some of this. it's really good! i made them myself last night. i'm testing out different recipes and trying to make them unique. these are chocolate raspberry." lillian bat her eyelashes at the man when he hesitated, head tilting to silently question why he would reject her. after some thought he gave in, taking the brownie from her smaller hand. their fingers brushed from the mundane interaction, her breath being caught in her throat at the touch of his digits against her soft skin. she looked away swiftly to hide the heat that formed in her cheeks, her eyes landing on the fence that kept them locked on campus like zoo animals.

"i always have a lot of extra desserts because i bake so much. i usually donate them to homeless shelters. i've made a few dog safe treats and donated those to a few shelters in the city. it makes me really happy to see the way people light up when they bite into something delicious." lillie found the courage to look back at elias. her optics glued to his visage anew, forcing herself to hold his gaze this time.

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[doedeer]

ELIAS--------

scroll~

OUTFIT: school uniform

MENTIONS: lillie

INTERACTIONS: lillie

TAGS: x

for a very brief moment with his eyes finding the ground again, elias felt his prior dejection making a peaceful exit out of his mind. as if an abled entity had taken the form of a girl and whisked the bad feelings away so seamlessly. he didn’t dwell on this theory much longer as the lit cigarette between his lips was already starting to work it’s magic.

normally he never cared to ask anyone for their inference on his habit, but he didn’t want to scare her away. lillian returned some light giggles and with them, he felt strangely relieved. her voice was soothing and the scent of what he presumed was her shampoo mixed with the crispness of rain calmed his nerves in a way.

elias watched as she opened the tin container holding her lunch, noting all the fragments in their respective places. as organized as she looked, he thought. he remained pleasanetly silent as she spoke, hesitating to answer her cheery words. the dark-haired boy could only offer sheepish, tight-lipped smiles in his fascination for her. he guessed he had forgotten just how charming she was. in his remembrance, the girl he’d known before was just as bright, but rather shy–letting elias’ boyish energy take over most of their small adventures. now it seemed she had grown into an outgoing character, yet still maintaining a delicacy about her. the word that occupied his mind was ‘cute’. she was adorable. and so, he favored a continuance of eye contact with her even if she broke it in her discourse.

he didn’t mean to come off as rude with his hesitation for her dessert. elias just had a dislike for chocolate, but to be fair he hadn’t tried it again since he left denmark. he couldn’t say no to her anyway, the dessert looked like it was straight out of a bakery sill–she had to have put a good effort into it. her face displayed an eagerness for him to try it and so he gave her a more contented grin this time as he accepted the brownie.

she pulled away quickly replacing her vision with the gate across from them and continued to talk rather flushed. is she nervous? he didn’t want her to be, there was no need. he looked at it for a moment then took a bite from the dessert, the confection just about melting in his mouth. the hints of raspberry balancing with the milk chocolate received elias well. surprisingly, he did like it. maybe he could only have a taste for chocolate if it was well made? he didn’t exactly know, but either way he was grateful for the sweet gesture. and the even sweeter chef, who in his consumption spoke of her charitable acts for the community. he observed the purity in her tone. it was like listening to a child talk about their vacation. she was bashful but passionate about her work and at the mention of the people’s receptions to her sweets, elias could sense she was only being authentic.

within the school, it wasn’t uncommon to hear of rich, god-fearing families who engaged in philanthropy for the community. ever since elementary they’d have many chapel sessions that included speeches from these people talking of the work the church and school had been accomplishing for the less privileged people of seattle. elias always thought these affluent fathers and mothers seemed phony. as if they were doing it for the notoriety or leverage it gave them in influencing the city’s governmental decisions and whatever else money can buy as a rich person tied to a church. after all, the churches in seattle did have a lot of affect on politics–just like everywhere else. he never saw sparks in their eyes like hers when they’d speak of aid.

before he could relay the message of gratitude, lillian’s eyes met with his again which instinctually brought a smile out of him. “you’re too kind.” he started, “thank you, i-uh didn’t realize i’d like chocolate so much. you’re a great chef.” he gave a light chuckle, ducking his head coyly to put the cigarette to his mouth again. he took a puff then flicked the spent ashes on the ground away from her. they quickly dissolved on the damp grass.

he knew they didn’t have much time left and the now light pattering of the rain signaled the second half of the school day would become pluvial. luckily, they were under the willow tree whose large branches covered the bench they sat upon.

“i’m going to be sad when the leaves fall off of this one.”, continued elias, exhaling smoke. the leaves were already yellowing as the days went by. when the branches became bare, he still returned to his safe spot but had to stand right at the base of the trunk to evade the rain. he looked up at the sky through the greenish-yellow blur and pointed to a crooked branch that inhabited a crouching blue jay tilting it’s head around, “and this little guy will leave again.”

without taking his gaze off of the bird, elias plaintively took one last hit and put his cigarette out on the underside bar that connected the arm rest to the metal bench. the bell would ring any minute now to give the students a five minute signal to return to their fifth period class. yet a question was pressing the boys thoughts now. he wasn’t sure if lillian’s stay was an isolated case for him. the twenty five minute break that always seemed to be at funeral pace had gone by too fast. his imagination wandered to conceptions of their only future interactions being reduced to passing smiles in hallways–something he knew he wouldn't be content with.
elias figured if this was going to be the last time he was meant to speak with her he might as well trust his gut feeling.

“do you like parks? i know this really hidden spot in magnolia,” he uttered, trying to find a glimmer of hope in her eyes that matched his desire to see her again, “we don’t really have much time, but uh-if you’d like to come..i have a car, and i can take you home if you need…that.” he gave a soft, chuckle. he was nervous to ask, but he had to be honest with himself. there was a lot more he wanted to catch up on, a lot more he wanted to know about her. “i’d love to hang out, if you’re down.” before she could give an answer, the rain started to come down. the branches of the willow swayed with the slight pick up of wind, but maintained something of a halo around them that shielded their bodies from the oncoming drizzle. but as this came on so suddenly, the discordance of the bell rang out. "oh shit, here you should take this." he swiftly took off his blazer, "shouldn't mess up your pretty hair just cause a little rain." he smirked at her with sincerity.

º º code by ditto º º

 

[milkiifox]

scroll

little lamb

lillian.

mood

curious

outfit

click me

location

st. marks catholic academy ; courtyard

despite how hard she attempted to remain nonchalant she couldn't help but closely observe as he sampled her dessert. it took a moment, but the way his expression lightened seemed to partially calm the nerves that crowded her tummy with butterflies. "thank you." she responded cheerfully to his compliment. as he took another drag of the cigarette the air around them grew quiet, her own mouth occupied by the brownie she peacefully nibbled on. she turned her head from elias to gaze towards the road again, listening as the sound of falling rain grew closer. lillian secured her dessert in the plastic bag then shut it in her lunchbox before the droplets decided to ruin her food.

at the mention of the tree and the bird she snapped her gaze to the yellowing leaves of the willow. then a small chirp grabbed her attention and she tossed a smile toward the cerulean creature. "maybe the bird will come back next year with a mate. this tree would make a safe place for a nest in the spring." she commented, her finger touching her chin in thought. she recalled that the two used to share a love for animals and often would collect bugs like the people on television who handled beasts of all shapes and sizes. lillian's adoration for animals never diminished, and if anything, it grew as she continued to learn more. perhaps elias had simply gone through it as a phase; albeit there was hope that he remained the same boy she used to know.

when she glanced at elias anew he seemed to be deep in thought, his eyes never leaving the bird until he inquired about her interest in parks. immediately a smile tugged at the corners of her plump lips, head nodding swiftly after. his next words surprised her, to say the least, for she genuinely didn't think he would want to see her again let alone after school hours. the way he looked at her indicated how authentic he was despite her silly assumptions about him. before she could properly react she felt a single drop of water explode on her nose with more in tow. thankfully the leaves overhead shielded them from the majority of the shower with only a few stray droplets hitting her head. seconds later the bell rang, causing her to jump to her feet. "oh no." she murmured to herself as she slung her backpack quickly over her shoulder.

his offer was perhaps one of the nicest, most genuine she had ever experienced— something told her she wouldn't be able to say no to him. "my pretty hair, huh?" lillian took the moment to tease him, a giggle leaving her mouth. "thank you, elias. i'd love to see you later. let's meet back here after school, okay?" she took his blazer and swung it over her head to use it as a makeshift hood. "and thank you for the lovely time. you're really sweet. just like how i remember." she purred. "i'm sorry i have to leave so quickly but my class is all the way across campus! i'll see you later!" she flashed him a final grin prior to turning on her heel and trotting out of the courtyard to get out of the rainfall as quickly as possible.

lillie hugged elias' blazer tightly to her chest as she walked into her fifth period class. she was met with her peers quietly whispering in a circle, the gossip being led by none other than elizabeth herself. the blonde lit up as soon as she saw her friend, pushing out of the crowd to approach lillian.

"what happened? are you okay?" elizabeth frowned softly. "do you need to go see the nurse?"

lillian appeared confused by this reaction, head tilting curiously in thought. it took all of her braincells to remember the fib she had spoken to the girl to be able to get away without questioning. "oh, yes! i'm okay i promise. i... got sidetracked on my way back." her words trailed off into a mumble when elizabeth's optics lowered to the novel piece of clothing she had tucked against her bosom.

"whose jacket is that? it looks like it belongs to a boy's unform." elizabeth's eyes squinted, her nosy nature unable to even hide her suspicions.

lillian turned away to sit in her seat silently, the official bell ringing to save her from the interrogation she was bound to receive. for the rest of the class she could feel her friend glaring daggers into the back of her head. she would need to rush out of the class to her next before elizabeth had time to catch her. genuinely, she didn't think she should tell her best friend the truth. the scolding she would be punished with was something she would like to avoid. the worst part was that the chastising would be unjustly so. she already knew the opinion elizabeth and her whole friend group had about elias when they knew nothing about him. granted, she didn't know what kind of person he was anymore, but from their short time together she felt good about him.

the remainder of the day was the teenager running from her friend and hiding in her class. time dragged by at a snail's pace, her mind wandering to elias. what would he show her at the park? he had his own car? she had earned her driver's license last year yet rarely was able to utilize it. what would they even talk about? would she be able to make him smile again? it made her nervous to think about his handsome visage brightening like that. eventually the final bell rang, shutting her out from her reckless daydreaming. she was the first to leave the room, sneakily weaving her way through the sea of bodies in a careful attempt to remain unseen.

elias was not at the courtyard when she arrived, leaving her to lean against the willow tree with his blazer folded neatly over her arm. his sacrifice had proven worthy— the large, light curls of her brunette mane remained perfectly intact. as she waited she pulled out her phone, staring at the black screen. she anxiously pondered what to text her parents. her mother was waiting for her right now to take her home. would they accept the lie of abruptly staying after hours for a school assignment?

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[doedeer]

mood: nervous, happy
outfit: uniform

elias

in the car: when the sun hits - slowdive

as she left the courtyard and out through the brick corridor towards the west end of campus, elias watched narrowly–standing in the direction of her departure–until eventually there was no sight of the girl in mary-janes and a diamond studded collar. amongst the exchange, he had forgotten to compliment her on it. he himself wore a wooden rosary under his uniform, something of an airloom gifted from his grandfather before he passed. even though he personally wasn’t sure the god of the catholic religion lined entirely with his beliefs, he knew that there was something out there. or someone for that matter. nevertheless it seemed like when he was at a crossroads with his doctrine, something strange would happen in the midst of it all. today something strange did happen. and this time it was something strangely good.

he took his time to gather his stuff up off the bench, memories of the brief meeting piroutting in his brain. he didn’t feel like rushing to class, being late would make the rest of the day go by faster anyway. plus, his fifth period was in the next building over so he had the time. elias looked up once again at the blue jay in the tree, observing it’s surveyorship over the school. maybe she was right. perhaps the bird he’d been watching for the last month would come back after the winter with a mate. or not at all. maybe the jay would leave far, far away to another home where it could couple peacefully without the bustling sounds of students and ringing bells. he pursed his lips at the thought, his eyebrows burrowed. the blue jay flew away then and he watched it fly far over the fence until it was just a greyish dot in the pouring rain.

as he approached the classroom ten minutes late, he was greeted with lofty stares and a few murmurs. he was, of course, nearly drenched at this point–his dark locks stringing across his face messily and his white shirt only subtly sticking to his figure. his fifth period literature teacher didn’t bat an eye per usual so he took his seat. his afternoon classes felt longer than ever, his anticipation for the after-school affair at the forefront of his mind. he hoped he hadn’t come off too strongly to her, but it seemed that she had sparked an interest for him. at least, he felt there was a connection.

he dazed through the last thirty minutes of sixth period, avidly thinking of what he’d show her at magnolia bluff. the bluff itself was popular among teenagers in the city to do drugs or hook up at, but the place he was taking her to was a small clearing in magnolia’s neighborhood. he usually went there to look across the edge at the ocean, smoke by himself, or skate around the neighbourhood because of its many twists and turns. he’d never taken anyone there before, but he felt it was hard for anyone not to like it. the view was spectacular, even in the rain. there were also rabbits frollicking in the tall grass he’d seen many times. elias figured she’d take a liking to that if the small creatures decided to pop out.

he actually had never spent time with a girl in that formality. he’d somewhat of a ‘girlfriend’ his freshman year of highschool, a student at a nearby public school but his experience with her was not favorable whatsoever. and it wasn’t even his idea to date her. she had come onto him and coerced him into the label then quickly turned around to cheat on him with a close friend of his at the time. they had barely hung out. in fact, in his brief recollection of the era–he was pretty sure she used him. the memories of that time were blurry at best. he didn’t feel any sort of way towards any of it. between the alcoholism and indifference to his life at the time, he had no concern for that bit of the past. to him, he had been alone from the start and that had never changed.

he sighed, looking out the window again to watch the rain shower the windowpanes. suddenly, a teacher was looming over him–telling him he was summoned to the principal’s office with no further information offered. elias, confused and annoyed, grabbed his stuff and half-jogged over to the office building. he looked at the time on his phone. fuck, it’s almost 3:15. the bell would be ringing soon and he didn’t want to be late to his meeting with lillian. what the fuck do they need from me?

his thoughts halted as he opened the wooden door, immediately seeing his younger brother finn sitting in the old, maroon chair in front of their even older, but less maroon principal. his brother turned around, a bruise painted on his brow bone, looking indignant yet very smug.

finn grinned at him and attempted to get up, “hey ely you should’ve SEEN it, i–”
“sit down!” his principal said sternly. the next ten minutes their principal explained how elias’ younger brother had gotten into another fight–the third of this school year–and how elias needed to ‘do something about it’ or they would be forced to reprimand him and his brother with consequences. elias didn’t understand why HE had to be brought into the problem, but he supposed it was better than letting their parents know of the fiasco. no need for more things their parents had to fight about. although he felt it was unfair that these private talks were clearly a form of blackmail from the school principal, he stayed quiet and agreed with his terms.

“finn, what the fuck. why are you getting into fights now?” elias voiced, irritated at the whole ordeal.
“pfft. you don’t even care that i won the fight. stay out of it. im biking home.” his younger brother returned, disappointed at his brother’s unappreciation. in truth a fight would be something they’d rave about but amid the mention of consequence and elias’ time crunch, he wasn’t really thinking too admirably about it.

elias tossed his head back and in frustration, shaking it as he watched his brother run towards his group of friends–the rain pelting them as they unlocked their bikes from the school rack to frequent their daily shenanigans. years prior, his parents had forced elias to take his brother home but this year they seemed not to care at all how the boys got home. and elias wasn’t the type to force his brother to do anything. nothing he could say at this point in time could bend his brother’s rules of life. i’ll have a talk with him tonight.

he was only eleven and getting in as much trouble as…. oh..
–as him when he was his age. the only difference was finn had a band of friends he’d grown up with that accompanied him at almost all times. that gave elias at least some peace of mind.

before he could revel in that thought any more, he started to make his way towards the willow tree. he hoped lillian wouldn’t be too upset he’d left her to fend for herself under the rain. or even worse, he hoped she hadn’t left. he honestly wasn’t sure if she had even showed up or not. maybe she was just saying she’d come to be poli–

there she was, her tiny figure against the trunk of the willow tree with the halo of branches protecting her body from the pouring rain. she looked a bit anxious and elias worried he had troubled her.

“my bad. i kind of got occupied with something, didn’t mean to leave you hanging.” he hollers at her, feeling a bit ridiculous at the fact that he was DEFINITELY drenched with rain water. he laughed a little, “apparantly the rain is supposed to let up by now, but as you can see.” he pinches the lower half of his button-up, stretching the wet fabric–the rain still pelting down on him in his amusement. he grinned, his hair still plastered over his eyes.

he jogs over to her and flips the hair out of his eyes with an apologetic smile, “i hope your not upset.”
“let’s get out of here, yeah?” he pointed at an older model ford truck in the school’s parking lot, “that one’s mine right there. i know it looks old, but it’s got great speakers.”

he motioned for her to follow him. as they ran over to the car, he went before her, opening the passenger seat door for her then jumped into his seat. elias started up the car and fumbled around on his phone to find a song to play, settling for one of his favorites at the moment. “uh, so how was your day?” he said as he scrolled, looking up momentarily to meet her eyes–flashing another coy smile.

º º code by ditto º º

 

[milkiifox]

scroll

little lamb

lillian.

mood

anxious , excited

outfit

click me

location

st. marks catholic academy

it almost felt like the minutes didn't pass by as the girl stared at her text messages. she had written out a simple apology to her mother that would hopefully explain the sudden absence.

' hey sorry mom! i couldn't text or call you bc i found out 30 mins ago. alyssa asked me to stay after school with her to help tutor her in calculus. she said her mom would take us to grab dinner then bring me home after. is that okay? '

lying like this to her own flesh and blood caused her chest to swell with anxiety. eagerly she watched the three dots as they teased her, edging her frantic mindset onward. if her mother disagreed she didn't know what she was going to tell elias. it was rare that she was ever allowed to hang out after school hours, and if her friends wanted to see her, it was always at her own home. finally a new text bubble appeared on the screen, a smile slowly pinching the corners of her lips upward.

' OK. if it gets past 6 and you're not home pls tell alyssa's mother to bring you back. '

' thanks mom! i'll see you in a few hours. i love you! '

lillian hugged her smartphone to her chest then shoved it into the side pocket of her beige backpack. by now an uncomfortable amount of time went by, and she was beginning to think that perhaps elias had forgotten. an expression of concern overthrew her cheerful visage, head turned toward the fence to watch students leave the campus with their friends. maybe he's not going to show up? he surely would want his blazer back at the least, right? these thoughts kept her silently occupied, her attention now on the rain as it splattered on the ground around her. her gaze traveled further down to her shoes, her minuscule pout growing once she realized there were particles of mud on the pretty mary-janes. the shoes were her first purchase from the café job she worked part time at. she took pride in keeping them preserved as they were a great accomplishment of hers. she would have some cleaning to do the second she arrived at her suburban abode.

the familiar voice of her awaited companion arrived, her look of distress immediately shifting to one of relief. "it's okay! i hope everything is alright." she stood up straight when he jogged over to her, a chuckle leaving her after she properly saw just how soaked he was. a pang of guilt ensnared her heart as the worrisome thoughts of his suffering entered her mind. he appeared happy, albeit what if he ended up with a cold because of this? all because she selfishly accepted his jacket? she didn't have much time to regret her decision for he was already persuading her to follow him. this time she didn't bother shielding herself from the rain. if he was going to be wet then she wanted to join him.

lillian trailed after the taller man like a lost puppy, pale tawny optics wide with wonder upon approaching his vehicle. she thanked him when he opened the door for her, a gentle sigh of relief escaping her while she buckled herself into the passenger seat. it was nice to be out of the chilly rain— but it was even nicer to be in this personal space with elias. she couldn't deny that there were sirens going off in the back of her mind from this impromptu outing. were his intentions truly pure? her parents often warned her of the dangers people posed to innocent girls like her. she was vulnerable to be alone with him in the car. the majority of her brain blocked those ridiculous ideas, compromising by having her keep her guard up just in case.

she barely even noticed the music was playing until he spoke up again. "oh," she paused, meeting his smile with a gentle grin. "it was wonderful. except... i knew everyone would be asking whose jacket i suddenly showed up with." she giggled. "i ran away from them. i think it's better they don't know so i don't have to get an earful from them. i never understood why everyone is so... harsh on you." her smile faltered for a moment prior to shifting into an expression of concern.

"i'm so sorry i stopped talking to you all those years ago. my mother... she told me i wasn't allowed to play with you anymore. i was a kid so i never really questioned her. i never disliked you or anything of the sort. i guess it just grew to be more complicated as we got older. i have my social circle and they're great friends but they can be protective of me. so when you came back and all those rumors... i never knew how to approach you." lillie was practically whining at this point. it seemed this apology had been long overdue by the way her eyes grew misty with tears. she glanced away, taking a few seconds to collect her emotions before continuing. "i guess it was as easy as stalking you through the halls like a sneaky fox." she forced a chuckle, the damp cloth on her ebony sweater wiping at one of her eyes.

"sorry. i don't want to ruin the good mood. i just really need you to know it was never my intention to make you feel like you had done something to me that made me dislike you. i was so pleased earlier to see you accepted my out of the blue visit. i thought about you the whole time during my classes. and now we're hanging out?! just like old times! but... we can drive and watch rated r movies." she bit her bottom lip to conceal the coy smirk that was bound to shine through any second.

"i'm excited to go to magnolia. one of my friends lives in that neighborhood! my parents don't really let me go out anymore so i haven't been there in a while." she adjusted her backpack on the floor of the older truck before settling them in her lap. "i'm honestly surprised they let me stay out after school today. i don't know why but once we got into high school... they changed. sometimes it feels like i'm living in a prison with how many rules there are." she huffed at the thought.

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[doedeer]

mood: nervous
outfit: uniform pants, black shirt, studded belt, airforces

elias

in the car: ballad of big nothing - elliott smith

in wake of lillian’s confession, elias couldn’t help but grimace a bit. he was terrible at hiding his feelings and he barely tried to at the mention of the past. he knew the reason for their separation had to have attributed to his unseemly actions, but hearing it come from her lips made it hurt–cementing the pain he didn’t have attached to the memory of her until now. elias also knew he didn’t make himself very approachable at school. the first year back from rehabilitation he was still rather off-putting and arrogantly supported this perception of him. it was only out of self-hate that he carried those feelings out. but this year, he had replaced that acrimony with dreariness. which wasn’t so much better either, but at least kept him a little farther away from the bad reputation he’d held for so long. there was no reason for him to feel so dejected by her words as these were all things he’d known for awhile now. still, they did get to him. as she talked, he didn’t look at her. instead, he opened his pack of cigarettes and put the stick in between his teeth. among all of these feelings, it was mostly shame for the past and the fact that she even felt the need to apologize for anything clearly out of her control.

the rain was lighting up a little, but he didn’t really care. rolling down the driver’s seat window, he reached for the lighter in his front pocket. but as he did, he heard a break in her voice. it signaled a tinge in his body, something he hadn’t felt for awhile. looking down at the girl, he locked his sights with hers. lillian’s brown eyes were so glossy they looked like a dolls. the song, although low in volume, blared in his mind.

“sweet thing, i watch you.
burn so fast, it scares me.
mind games, don’t leave me.
come so far, don’t lose me.
it matters where you are.”

in that moment, he hated it. whatever it was that made her so sad about this telling…he hated it. his grim expression quickly turned to a longing concern. he wanted to wipe the tear about to leak from her eye, but she managed to do it herself and continued on. his eyebrows burrowed and his green gaze was intense, listening in.

she had then managed to guide the conversation towards a light-hearted direction. he could tell she really just wanted to get her statement out there–possibly for awhile now. her mannerisms were pure. so sporadic and unmistakably honest. elias’ eyes lit up at the mention of ‘r-rated movies’. she was so funny and she didn’t know it.

he swallowed hard to clear his throat, brushing his fingers through his damp hair as one shorter section fell back into his eyes. he took the unlit cigarette from his mouth–it now snug in between his two fingers,
“lils…i mean.. lillie,” he started off softly, “you don’t have to apologize for anything ok?”

he showed her a smile, hoping to calm her nerves. “i’m glad that you, ya know, came over.” he felt he was terrible at words. thoughts, was one thing. he had millions of them running through his head at all times, but to get them out….that was the real challenge. “parents can be…um,” he bit his lip a little, “unfair.” a thought flashed of his own, something he refused to clearly picture right now.

“but uh, magnolia’s beautiful. i guarantee you’ve never seen a place like this.” he smirked a bit, now with the cigarette in his teeth. by now, mostly everyone had been out of the parking lot but he wasn’t really thinking of that at all. “ah wait,” he fumbled around in his backpack for a second, pulling out a black short sleeve tee and absent-mindedly unbuttoning his shirt. he pulled it off of his shoulders, the shirt clingling onto his skin as he did and his rosary clacked against his collarbone. he threw the wet uniform shirt into his backpack, making sure the moisture wouldn’t touch the susceptible parts of his notebook. he still had the cigarette in his mouth so he quickly put the dry black t-shirt over his figure and lit it. the fingers grasping his rosary onto display now. “okay,” he looked behind him, putting the truck in gear and backing up. “the drive’s really pretty too."

during the drive, the pouring ran was now reduced to its familiar light, misty patter. he hung his cigarette-wielding arm over the door, offering occasional taps at stop lights to the beats of whatever song was playing. the trees were as beautiful as ever. that was the best part of this city. the lushness of the environment, everywhere you went. he puffed on his cigarette a lot over this period, quickly finishing it only half way through their drive. he felt himself growing more and more anxious. he didn’t want to be too quiet and awkward but of all the anticipation he had awaiting their meeting, he suddenly was at a loss for words–and useful thoughts. he’d hoped she’d fill the space with her voice. it was something she seemed great at and he had been loving hearing her talk so far. even so, he uttered a question with curiosity towards the statement she’d offered minutes ago.

“so what DO you do then? like, uh, hobbies and what not. if your parents are so strict, they at least let you have some time to yourself right?” he glanced at her off and on as he drove, now putting the cigarette box to his mouth to retrieve another stick with his lips and smoothly lighting it with his right hand–left arm draped over the leather steering wheel in leisurely fashion.

º º code by ditto º º

 

[milkiifox]

scroll

little lamb

lillian.

mood

excited , happy

outfit

click me

location

seattle - driving

elias' small reassurance helped to aid her guilty recovery, her head nodding when he mentioned how beautiful magnolia was. she remembered the neighborhood being quite lovely, albeit she wasn't exactly sure she had ever been anywhere beyond it. she found it endearing that the young man had thought of such a lovely place for them to catch up at. there was so much she was curious about with him, and perhaps he was interested in what she had been up to. lillian glanced his way when he mumbled a small sentence, curiosity filling her cranium as he dug through his bag. out came a simple black t-shirt and then his hands worked skillfully to unbutton his uniform. she almost gasped upon realizing what was happening, and out of respect she averted her eyes to her lap.

from the corner of her eye she saw a flash of mahogany, enticing her enough to sneak the quickest of peeks. he adorned a wooden rosary that, for whatever reason, he kept hidden below his attire. most people proudly wore the most famous symbol of their god, yet he seemed to be more unforthcoming with his faith. she pondered if it perhaps belonged to a family member, and he kept it concealed to offer it protection. whatever the reason, she could inquire about it at a further date. for now, she was happy to look at him once he was settled in his new shirt. "that's a pretty necklace. i really like it." she told him quietly after they had taken off onto the road.

lillie was content with staying quiet and listening to his music. her parents only allowed her to listen to certain artists for they feared music was a way of corrupting younger generations. she found the idea silly, for music was a form of artistic expression, but she had no ground to quarrel with them on the matter. there were little moments like this she could enjoy with her friends where her parents would never know she was doing the things she craved to do. beyond the music she was happy to drink in the sight of the scenery as well. the trees were beautiful this time of year as they began to shift out of the summer color and into the novel tones of autumn. soon the air would grow even colder and she would be spending all of her time inside, cozy in her pajamas and a warm mug of coffee in her hand.

oof. the question of her hobbies was something she was almost embarrassed about. most teenagers her age, including her friends, were allowed much more freedom than she was. there wasn't too much for her to do, but she made the most of what she was handed. "honestly, i mostly spend time with my dog if i'm not working. after i'm done with homework and done studying the bible then i'll just be with venus. we go on walks around the neighborhood, play in the backyard, cuddle in bed with a book and do a lot of training. i begged for a dog for months and my parents got her for me last year. it made me so happy to finally have someone i can tell anything." she smiled at the thought, her cheeks flushing red at the sudden realization of how worse that sounded out loud.

"i work part time at stormy brooke down by the university. it's a nice little café. i really enjoy being in that environment and getting to serve people coffee or tea. you should stop by if you're a fan of either of those. or, maybe we could go together some time?" she offered, her eyes suddenly sparking at the idea of it. "i don't want to do that forever, though. genuinely... i would love to become a dog trainer or even a dog groomer. my parents aren't a fan of those two careers so after we graduate i'll be going to school to become a veterinarian. that idea pleases them and allows me to work with animals. so... it's a good compromise, i guess." she shrugged. lillian didn't feel one way or another towards being forced to do something she didn't have the true passion for. as long as she was around animals at the end of the day she found it to be pleasant enough.

"what about you, mr. cool guy?" her expression shifted to one of pure mischief, a large smirk overpowering her soft smile. "what do you like to do? i bet it's moody and mysterious." she giggled at the idea, her elbow leaning on the center console as her body shifted in an attempt to get closer to him.

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[doedeer]

mood: light-hearted
outfit: uniform pants, black shirt, studded belt, airforces

elias

in the car: when you sleep - mybloodyvalentine

in elias’ fleeting looks at her, lillie seemed to be precariously scanning the outside view. he hoped she was enjoying the alloy of music and scenery. the drive from the school to the boy’s hidden spot was mostly through back streets and then up a long wind of houses, usually suffused with old folks walking their dogs. this afternoon was filled with intermittent rain so the predominantly elderly neighborhood was as quiet as it could be. he smoked his cigarette, taking deep inhales and releasing the smoke through the left corner of his mouth. now after the second in a row, he was feeling the fervor of tranquility wash over him as well as the slight head high from the nicotene he would usually get in a consecutive smoke. he fidgeted with his necklace, his index and middle examining the gunmetal that lined the indentations of jesus’ body and playing with the wooden balls connected by metal links.

over time he was very good at doing other things apart from having his entire attention on the road. in truth, he had been driving since he was 13. his parents on their many trips out of seattle would leave him with a car to drive him and his sibling to school even though he didn’t have a license until years later. at that age he thought it was cool. now that elias’ was older he felt it was just another example of their callous nature. even his own mother, blood-related, was concerned of them only when they got into trouble or if it’d cost his parents their time and money. luckily, he never ever drove his younger brother in the car drunk–opting to wait until his brother was dropped off safely to consume his shots and arrive extremely late to school or not at all. even still, after the school revealed to his parents his addiction, he wasn’t allowed to drive again until this year. using the money he made from his job at the record store, he bought this old ford from his boss and learned to fix it up as much as he could. he didn’t think he did half bad. and now with his experience, he felt it was easy to manage different maneuvers like smoking a cigarette or being on his phone.

if he focused on the view, the trees seemed to be spinning as they whirred by them through the puddles. as a kid he loved to hone tunnel vision on them just to observe the rotating illusion. as fall approached he grew more comfortable. he loved the cold and didn’t think he could live anywhere without it. falls and winters in seattle were bitter to most people and elias could see why, but nevertheless he enjoyed them. the boy found himself having a good time in this peaceful ride. at the mention of dogs, elias smiled. he had never had a dog before nor ever thought to ask for one from his parents. in denmark, his scanty neighborhood was riddled with stray dogs and cats. only his grandparents would remember to scold him for playing with them, but they weren’t around to catch him the times he did. he loved animals, all kinds. even growing up in seattle, he always loved being in the presence of strays. although, he never thought to refer to them as ‘someones’. this gave him a chuckle. he found it refreshing to hear someone so passionate, but he could tell by now that her parents were something of a problem she put off in her head. he couldn’t blame her as he often did the same. however, their upbringings were completely opposite. his parents had been generally negligent his entire life, but hers seemed tight and conscientious over everything concerning her being.

at the question of his daily endeavors, he tilted his head up smoking his cigarettes without his hands to turn the corner down the street from the hidden area. “ah, not so much mysterious. maybe boring is the word you're looking for.” he joked, “i dont know, i-uh, work at ‘wall of sound’ on pike street–the record store.”
“it’s small, alternative-rock stuff, and local underground mostly but we have a good amount of inventory. im mostly just dj-ing the music & ringing people up it’s pretty chill. they let me fuck around and plug my guitar to the amps.”

“aside from that, i mean, im either playing my fender or exploring this city on my board.” he said, pausing for a bit. he felt he didn’t really need to tell her about his interests in art or writing. that kind of stuff was hard to talk about anyway and he didn’t want to bore her anymore than he probably already was. he glanced over again, smiling brazenly at her giggle with his cigarette still tucked between his teeth. he took one last drag and tossed it out the window, “see i told ya, boring.” he flipped the bangs out of his eyes once again--the deep raspiness in his voice more evident after his chain-smoke, “so you’re a baker and a barista? and here i am still making instant ramen stir-frys that look like hospital food.” he was loose now, feeling more confident in his words and hoping to get more laughs out of the pretty girl.

at the end of his joke, they’d finally reached the clearing by the ocean. “here we are..”

he parked his truck on the sidewalk before the grass area and shoved the lighter along with the cigarette box in the back pocket of his pants, leaving the phone he rarely even used in his backpack on the ground of the car. now the rain had subsided, leaving crisp air and a a lighter grey of hue over the city. now in the distance there was a soft brush of rainbow in the sky and a white ray of light to accompany it.
he was excited to show her the scene he'd regarded as another one of many safe spots around his city. now maybe the rabbits would be out to play.

º º code by ditto º º

 

[milkiifox]

scroll

little lamb

lillian.

mood

happy , awestruck

outfit

click me

location

magnolia park

"definitely the opposite of boring. your job sounds really fun. it also sounds like you enjoy it." lillian smiled, her eyes glued to the side of his handsome face while he kept his optics on the road. occasionally while he spoke he had shifted his attention to her, and each time she felt a small flutter in her stomach. how quickly her day had shifted from her usual, mundane routine to this exciting expedition with an unforeseen outcome. it was so sporadic that she almost got a high off the thrill. it made her feel extra bubbly now that she was truly calming from the anxiety of doubt that had plagued her at school. the joke about his culinary skills caused her to giggle and nod her head in an understanding manner. "if you'd like i can give you some pointers on how to take your ramen from fresh out of the garage to fresh out of..." she paused, her lips pursing in thought as she took a few moments to come up with a comparison. "... insert famous japanese restaurant here."

she giggled off her awkwardness, and thankfully a few seconds later the car had parked to signal their arrival. lillie was swift to exit the vehicle, leaving behind her backpack with her phone inside. she thought about taking it, but she found no harm in letting it stay. they wouldn't stray too far from the truck, right? after shutting the door she ran a hand through her long brunette hair in a quick attempt to brush down any of the frizz that may have popped up from being in the rain. she walked around the front of the truck to stand beside elias, looking up at him with playful tawny orbs. "what do you like to do here usually? it looks like a great place to come and think." lillian's gaze quickly surveyed the vicinity while her hands clasped behind her back.

a gasp left her mouth and she, almost literally, bounced away toward the fence that enclosed the public from the bay. she paused a short distance away, staring off into the distance at the rainbow that shone softly in the distance. "it's so pretty!" she glanced over her shoulder at elias while he made his way toward her. she suddenly cleared her throat, her hand rubbing her arm to keep herself grounded. "i'm sorry. it's a bit childish but i love rainbows. they're so beautiful. anything that naturally occurs in the sky seems to spark my interest. i have a few astronomy books that i enjoy brushing up on here and there." she explained in a sad attempt to try and save her skin from even more embarrassment.

lillian spun in a slow circle to get a better view of the remaining scenery. "it's peaceful here. the smell after it rains just adds to the atmosphere." she chuckled softly. "i don't think you could have chosen a better spot to hang out, elias. i'm impressed. thank you so much for taking me here." hesitantly the girl shifted closer to her companion, her digits slowly reaching out to give his larger hand a grateful squeeze. it was a minor gesture albeit she hoped it would convey how genuine she was.

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[doedeer]

mood: nervous
outfit: uniform pants, black shirt, studded belt, airforces

elias

music mood: treehouse - alex g

elias enjoyed the sweetness of her descant, her responses were always so zealous and sugary. he thought to himself multiple times wondering how a girl so pretty could be so angelic. the cognizance continued as he watched lillian spring out of the car and onto the grassy floor, already beside the metal enclosure. he grabbed his key, jutting the end of it into the fixture and locked the door then made his way to join the girl who was already fanning over the rainbow. he couldn’t help but grin as he approached her, feeling the enthusiastic spirit she held towards his solaced space. he had read her correctly. he knew she’d adore it.


he took in a big breath of the fresh air and looked out over the fence at the long strands of green that coated the ground right before it diminished down to the ocean. “it’s great right…” his voice trailing off as she grabbed his cold hand. her delicate warmth enveloped his palm and he gave a soft squeeze back. he cleared his throat, feeling butterflies in his chest for a moment and proceeding to entwine his fingers with hers. he gave her an earnest yet gentle look, hoping she wouldn’t mind but in that moment he heard a rustle in the grass. without a second thought he moved closer to her, their arms close in touch so he could better call attention to what he was seeing.

“oh…”, his voice in a gravelly whisper, “over there, you see her?” he motions with his gaze at a furry figure popping it’s up in the grass, it’s silvery ears perked. “they must have come out of hiding after the rained stopped. i love watching them when im up here.” he says quietly, ducking his head closer to her ear. the rabbit then looked over at them and another joined it before the two hopped away into the brush. “i’ve never seen two of them together like that though, we must be lucky.” he offered a smile, watching her eyes to see how she’d react.

it felt good to hold her hand. he never realized just how cold his always were until this moment.
but as she looked out beyond the fence, he let it go for a second--uncertainty and unfamiliarity taking over him. “sorry, i didn’t mean to just grab you like that.”
“your hands are just really warm.” he offered, unsure for a second just how she felt. he didn’t want to ruin the moment by being so forward. he didn’t even really mean to hold her hand when she touched him. it was sort of like an instinct, but this girl was still somewhat of a stranger to him. or should he say, he was still sort of a stranger to her in this moment in time. he felt it could be unfair to pressure her into something she wasn’t apt to.

it was strange to him to think so much about a person’s perception of him. he’d spent his entire life rejecting that exact feeling. he’d be lying to say her sudden appearance didn’t throw him off guard more than he had expected.

º º code by ditto º º

 

[milkiifox]

scroll

little lamb

lillian.

mood

nervous , excited

outfit

click me

location

magnolia park

relief washed over the girl when she received a squeeze of reassurance in return. honestly, she had been worried he might have jumped away from her out of shock. she knew some people, especially those with troubled pasts, could feel uncomfortable with physical touch. it seemed to be the opposite for elias for he took the action further by entangling his fingers with hers. immediately her face flushed a faint shade of scarlet as her heart began to accelerate out of nowhere. the gentle expression he gave her made her insides squirm with anxiety, her eyes immediately averting to the grass below their feet. she made no effort to pull away from him despite her uncertainty of the situation. she had never experienced this feeling— what was she supposed to do? why was elias holding her hand any different than one of her other friends doing the same thing?

the taller figure moved closer to her until their arms were pressed against each other, his head leaning down to whisper. the dull scent of cigarettes hung on him like a parasite on its host, albeit she didn't mind the odd smell like many others would. honestly, it gave him a sense of identity. if their friendship was able to blossom like before then she would come to familiarize that specific scent with him. lillian felt so consumed by the closeness of elias that she almost missed the adorable mammal he was attempting to point out to her. the second she laid her gaze on the rabbit her face seemed to melt into one of pure adoration. not only did one grace them with its presence but two. two little precious bunnies for her to fawn over silently. she bit her lower lip to help keep in the squealing she so desperately wanted to release. the pent up excitement slowly diminished once the skittish creatures disappeared.

lillie's gaze followed beyond the bush the rabbits hid under to search for the rainbow again. one moment her hand was secure and the next it felt the chill of the autumn air anew. she looked to elias, her mouth forming one of its famous pouts as if she was quietly objecting. it felt a bit more awkward to address the situation than simply allow it to happen and pass naturally. "it's okay, i promise." she smiled prior to chuckling off the nervousness that was beginning to creep up on her again. "i didn't mind it. i actually..." she trailed off, unsure if she should finish the sentence. she shook her head to clear it from the conversation, choosing to run a nonchalant hand through her mane. "also thank you. i take pride in my flesh being warm. elias... you're not a vampire, are you?" her tone transformed into one of faux suspicion, chocolate optics squinting as she observed him from head to toe. "didn't that one vampire franchise take place in washington? it's very possible you're going to drink my blood by the end of our time together." naturally she wasn't allowed to ever see one of the most popular supernatural films of all time nor read the series. something about them being demonic, according to her parents.

she looked over her shoulder for a moment, noticing an older couple walking by in matching exercise attire. she grinned from how oddly adorable it was to see the two lovebirds making an effort to look fashionable together. "do you want to go sit down? maybe we'll see more little friends if we stay still."

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[doedeer]

mood: dejected, consumed
outfit: uniform pants, black shirt, studded belt, airforces

elias

no name #1 - elliott smith

elias lit up again at the safety net she’d created in her acceptance of his risky move. he returned her with a snicker that formed into a gritted smile. the twilight reference was funny as he’d actually been referenced to edward years ago at the mercy of one of his bad haircuts. “up in forks yes,” he answered brazenly about the filming location for the franchise. truthfully he’d never seen the movie before but he’d been up to forks a couple times and he’d recognized it just seeing the trailers that everyone in the country were forced to be aware of, “and what if i was..would that be so bad? i guess you’ll never know.”

his amusement was more in fascination over the events at hand. lillie was so sweet to him, it felt almost too good to be true. he agreed to her offer and started to walk with her over to a familiar wooden bench, one he had sat at and read books until nightfall. this was in his preteens, where his only mode of transportation was skateboarding and he was adamant at staying out as long as possible even without a shelter from the city's elements. he hadn’t sat here for at least half a year. today, this bench would meet someone new–someone better than him and probably better than anyone who’d ever been in it’s presence before. again, he felt a wave of relief. every day was mudane at best, near unbearable at worst. ‘happy to be’ was not something he was used to. nor was it something he remembered feeling since his childhood. the affair was refreshing to say the least.

they took their seat on the wood, his fingers tracing the indentations below him. he knew somewhere he’d carved something in it… maybe his name? the year? he scanned the wood for a second, but didn’t capture the blurry image in his head. it had probably been scratched away by someone else or rained on so much it corroded away. he took the opportunity to retrieve another cigarette from his back pocket and lit it swiftly–holding it in his left hand away from lillie. smoking in the rain offered a sort of a clensing for the rustic scent of tobacco, but she still carried a perfumy essence and he didn’t want to weaken even a trace of it.

he looked beyond the fence again, the rainbow still there but faded now. nearing five o’clock, the sun still had a good two hours until it was replaced by a shining moon. he didn’t know when he had to take the girl home, but time until now had been far lost in the back of his mind. he puffed on the cigarette, exhaling a long breath and watched as the smoke mixed with his own carbon dioxide and created an icy wisp. for a second, he started to space out. he imagined a drive back to his own home from a house of the girl’s his mind created. he couldn’t really figure out why the thought preyed upon his emotions so avidly. like the drugs he’d been dabbling in, the comedown from all of this contentment would surely have an effect on him. especially in his uncertainty. he was always alone, but to be alone after this….

he felt anxiety creep up over him like a dark shadow until the sounds of birds and the ocean were no longer in his audile.

suppose this wasn’t as good as he thought it was going. and lillie was just a moment reserved for today. a wise man would take the experience at face value–enjoying it for what it was. elias’ was never good at ‘living in the moment’. everything always had an effect on him, his over-thinking never did him any good. as it seemed like she was about to speak up, he inadvertently cut her off–his green eyes meeting hers again but this time in anguish. “lillie,” he said with a pause following, “ah, forget it.” he was going to ask her if she’d like to hang out again after school tomorrow, but instead he struggled between his anxious thoughts and the longing he had for her company. he took another drag, this one long and hung his head, his elbows resting on his legs. “it was nothing.”

he didn’t mean to be such a downer, but he couldn’t help it. it had been hours since his last dose of xanax–a drug he’d been taking to prevent this exact feeling–now the entirety of everything seemed to be setting in all at once.

º º code by ditto º º

 

[milkiifox]

scroll

little lamb

lillian.

mood

hopeful , happy

outfit

click me

location

magnolia park

what if elias truly was a vampire? being immortal was such a moral conundrum that she didn't even want to think of the possibilities. it would be a wasteful thought that would steal her attention from the man anyways. they took their seat on the wooden bench, one leg crossing over the other politely as her hands rested in her lap. she was content to sit in silence only because it didn't feel awkward around him. ely was easy to talk to and even easier to simply enjoy life around. she was certain he understood the beauty of that silent agreement when no words were needed. therefore, she kept her lips sealed while she searched for more rabbits around the brush surrounding them.

eventually she found herself looking out at the horizon toward the bay when no bunnies had poked their tiny heads out. the worry of knowing the time slammed into her like a freight train, optics widening in horror at the realization that soon six o'clock would be approaching them. she turned her body toward elias, knees pressing against his while her mouth opened to whine. unfortunately lillie was beaten by just a second, her full regard focused on the teenager beside her. she tilted her head to the right when he dropped the topic, puppy-like eyes staring at him as if she was begging him to say what was going through his head. "you can tell me whatever you'd like, elias. i promise i don't bite. and i would never think anything you said was stupid. unless, of course, you said something super ridiculous like an intelligent crab humanoid visited you during the night and gave you a pair of pink lace panties." she giggled in an attempt to lighten the mood after seeing how disheartened he became.

lillian set a reassuring hand above his knee, leaning in slightly to make sure he saw her tender smile directed at him. "i hate to be the bearer of bad news but i didn't even realize how late it was becoming. i'll have to get home pretty soon but we can stay for a bit longer?" she suggested coyly. "i really don't want my parents to preach to me about disobeying them." she murmured, and although it was subtle, there was an annoyance hidden in her tone upon thinking of her parents. if there was one thing she didn't need after such a lovely afternoon it was the ridiculous scolding she could receive for being home later than her mother told her.

"um... you said you knew how to skate, right? it would be fun if you could teach me. i'm not very physically coordinated but i would love to give it a try." she bat her long, ebony eyelashes at him as a playfully feminine way of convincing him. "i'll see if i can stay out again tomorrow. i told my parents i was helping my friend with a project. i bet they would believe it if i had to stay late for a few more days." a curious eyebrow cocked his way as if she was challenging him to deny her implication. she felt their interactions went well and, if he had the time, then she would be ecstatic to spend time with him.

"or if you'd rather not then that's totally okay and i'll just see you around school, i guess?"

the last option was almost mumbled as she forced the words out of her mouth. lillie needed to give him a way out if their chemistry was simply one sided.

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[doedeer]

mood: relatively positive
outfit: uniform pants, black shirt, studded belt, airforces

elias

///

as lillian layed her hand over his knee he picked up his head–his eyes still holding the same crestfallen look though her offer of ridiculousness did reign amusing to him. he compelled a tight smile as she giggled. even in his dejection could he still be in the presence of her delight, this thought calmed his nerves a bit. he sat up-right again, taking another drag as she explained her departure as something with future for them. still thinking of a tomorrow with her did brighten his mood slightly, although either way the end of their intimacy would still come back to harrow at him. elias decided that at least for now he could focus on the moment.


“i could teach you. it’s not so difficult, we could ride together–and if you got good at that, maybe i could teach you some tricks.” he offered a brighter smile now at the thought of sharing his love for the activity with someone he liked. it’s lonely skating unaccompanied. sometimes he’d see familiar faces at the skate park, but it had been at least a month since he last went and all of the older boys there he’d known were busy getting plastered drunk and getting into legal troubles in their adolescence. he didn’t really like being there much at all. even if she didn’t pick it up, he’d still be more than happy to just skate around her.

in her mumbles, he started to notice a recurring quirk of hers. like a puppy’s instinct, her head tilted and her eyes widen in a tender disquiet. she had done it before when he’d let go of her hand and maybe once before too, but he knew forsure it seemed to be a little habit of hers. cute. he beamed earnestly at this discovery and at her very wrong assumption of his feelings. he could feel it now in her unspoken protest. he was almost sure that she wanted to see him again.

“i’d love to see you again. that’d be great.”

tomorrow was thursday. he had picked up a shift at the record store around five, but he did want to hang with her... in this thought, he felt a bead of water hit his cheek. then another. in their discussion it seemed they’d lost track of time as well as track of the weather. the skies looked dark and grey again–a signal a shower could be upon them any second. although he disliked it, he would rather her not get into any sort of trouble that would prohibit their next outing.

“it’s five twenty five, i should probably take you home then. before we get rained on again..” he said, standing up and putting his lighter and box back into his pocket.

“what’s your favorite food by the way?” he said. it was sort of a random question, but he did have a plan for tomorrow if they met again for lunch. either way, it was nice to know for future references.
“mine’s japanese food lately, like ramen and stuff. but i guess i like a lot of stuff.” taking one last drag of his cigarette, elias made a quick detour to throw his butts in the trash. usually he’d just toss them into the street if he was anywhere else, but knowing of the rabbit population in the neighborhood he preferred to take the extra step as to protect them. he returned to her side, closer now as they made their way to the truck.

º º code by ditto º º

 

[milkiifox]

scroll

little lamb

lillian.

mood

happy , nervous

outfit

click me

location

magnolia park

the idea of her learning to skate always ended in disaster in her mind. lillian had never been gifted when it came to her physical prowess. she always preferred staying on the sidelines while her friends participated in sports. even when she went to camp almost every summer she would spend her time hiding from the group activities and lazing around on the warm beaches of the lake. speaking of it, this summer had been the very last camp she would ever attend as a student. it was a bittersweet goodbye, but perhaps she would find the time to become a counselor in the future. her plan for next year was to pick up more hours at the café to make as much money as possible before she was shipped away to college.

college.

she was terrified of the idea.

lillian twitched out of surprise when a drop of water crashed against her bare thigh. she felt a few others fall on her head, warning the couple that they would need to get out of the weather quickly. "five twenty five?" she echoed his announcement, more to herself to process the time and calculate the distance from her home in her head. she rose to her feet after elias, smoothing out her plaid skirt and adjusting it accordingly. "i really enjoy asian food of any kind. i'm not super picky, though, as long as it tastes amazing." she ensured him, chin tilting upward to gaze at the darkening clouds. she wasn't sure how she didn't even notice that they were creeping up on them. "let's get going. i'm assuming you're not a magician with millions of other shirts stuffed inside your backpack. we can't risk the only extra getting drenched." she giggled.

she walked in sync beside elias, although both of their gaits were not as urgent as they needed to be. lillie sort of waltzed casually, almost as if she was purposely dragging her feet to delay their arrival at the truck. she bumped her arm against ely's a time or two while they walked, albeit she didn't care to address the subtle action. "how has your brother been?" she directed her gaze from the ground up to the man's face, attempting to get a positive or negative read on the topic. "the last time i saw him he was just a little guy. you both were so so so cute back then." she paused for a moment and shot her eyes back to her shoes. "not to say that you're not cute now, of course. i think you're a socially acceptable looking human." she tried to play off her embarrassment at even bringing up the topic with a joke she prayed he wouldn't take offense to. she wouldn't dare admit to him that she found him attractive. she might as well fall over and croak if that were to ever happen. because if she didn't die from nervousness she would die to her parents' wrath.

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[doedeer]

mood: focused
outfit: uniform pants, black shirt, studded belt, airforces

elias

///

he gave her a grin, partly embarrassed. did she just call me cute? personally he didn’t think about his attractiveness too often. since a child, it was always finn who got all the compliments. and as he grew up he felt lucky to just not have as much acne, as it had been a minor problem in his youth. even so, the tending to his skin care had been out of comfortability rather than a means to solely magnify his appeal to others. not that it was a bad thing at all, just not usually on the forefront of his mind.

“finn’s alright, you know, has a lot of friends at school.” elias affirmed, though he remembered he still had to talk to his younger brother when he got home, “he’s grown to be quite the trouble-maker though..” he continued, trudging along slowly up the mound towards the sidewalk–but decided not to bring up the ordeal from earlier. he didn’t need to put any doubts in the girl’s mind about him or his family anymore.

as they approached the grey ford, he walked in front of her to open the passenger door one again. he then swiftly tended to the lock on the protective box sitting in the bed of his truck. elias opened it and out came a skate board with a gravely scuffed deck in his hands. the depiction on it was supposed to be of a white castle on a tall hill somewhere in russia and it was still visible but hardly due to the amount of grinding he’d been doing with it. he’d been needing to go to his skate shop, but always put it off figuring he’d ‘get around to it’ at some point. he hopped on his board in front of her, the wheels rumbled on the street as he found his footing.

“maybe if you get around to it, you can do something like–”

“this.” he said, eagerly performing a tre flip and catching himself with a tiny wobble but landing it nonetheless. he hadn’t done this trick in a couple weeks so he tried to hide his relief over the success. if he had failed or even worse–fallen..he’d probably just kill himself right there. instead, he found an excuse to show off to the girl.

skating came relatively easy to him. luckily it was something he’d picked up young, even in denmark he remembered wanting to be like the kids he’d seen around his neighborhood–doing tricks and traveling anywhere they wanted.

he popped his board up, grabbing it by the nose and tossed it back in his truck, “alright that’s enough of that, let’s get you home.” he said earnestly, walking around the back to get into his seat. the rain was starting to pick up faster than he’d anticipated. the low rumble came in as he turned the key into the ignition. he flipped the switch to turn on his windshield wipers, but for some reason they weren’t turning on. instead only the one wiper on lillian’s side was working–the driver’s side wiper refusing to budge even a little.

“aw.. what…uh, hold on.” he said, his attention completely on the issue at hand. he hopped out of his truck to check what the problem was, tracing the metal with his fingertips. “fuck..hey lillian! could you grab me the screwdriver in the glove compartment?” he hollered, holding the metal in place for a second and walking around the open door--mumbling something about needing to replace it…his procrastinating habit proving to be very untimely. he held his hand out to retrieve the tool, his eyes still on the wiper.

he hadn’t really thought of the contents he’d stashed away in his glove compartment, at least in the moment they were in the back of his mind. in the glove compartment, he’d forgotten he’d placed a couple plastic bags of xanax and one of a couple percocet. although he usually hid drugs pretty well, this morning he was in a bit of a rush..

elias felt he wasn’t doing anything too unsafe with them. the xanax was for his anxiety, and he was only using 0.5 miligrams of it a day during school hours. sure it still wasn’t prescribed and he had been meaning to go to a doctor for his restlessness at night and during the day, but he hated doctors.

he also felt very indifferent to getting therapy or a psychiatrist, not really convinced they would do much of anything for him. the xanax was from a dealer he knew on the south side of town and for the most part, he knew it was the real deal. it worked well anyway. as for the percocet….he didn’t really have a cover for it. lately, he’d been taking it for fun. the sedative effects kept his thoughts at bay and replaced him with a sense of euphoria he’d been enjoying while he played his instruments or just wanted to have a less boring time. his excuse wasn’t that good, but he had the money and the desire to experiment.

at this point, the rain was near pouring..

º º code by ditto º º

 

[milkiifox]

lillian hope.

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  elias <'3
  

  
  
  

  
  
  

lillian thanked elias once more for opening the door, her hand gripping the inside handle while her body turned to watch him fiddle in the bed of his truck. out came a, very loved, skateboard with some sort of art on the bottom side that she couldn't exactly pick out due to the scratches. her expression grew from content to excited, her optics on full alert as she watched him perform a swift little trick for her. she immediately clapped upon him landing the flip, giggles of delight escaping her alongside the praise. "very well done! if i were to ever do that it would take me years." she said after he had picked up the board and secured it away. she then took a seat in the truck for the rain was steadily picking up intensity.

she had to admit she was a bit hesitant about leaving. it wasn't her choice, because if she had any say, she would have been out with elias until her eyes grew heavy with sleep. almost as if her hopes had been answered there was a sudden mechanical problem with the truck and ely got up to see why the windshield wiper was stalled. per his request she pulled on the handle of the glove box, searching through a few papers to find the screwdriver. it was located rather quickly, her right hand gripping it tightly while the other went to close the compartment. a bag filled with small white pills caught her intrigue, fingers gripping the plastic to observe its contents. once she looked back she noticed there were multiple bags with similar medication inside. like nothing had even happened she set the tool in elias' hand prior to glancing at her discovery again.

immediately a pout of confusion transformed her smile while her brain worked to wrap itself around the current situation. surely this was all prescribed... right? obviously, being the perfect little catholic girl she was, meant she had absolutely zero knowledge of drugs and their effects. sure, she knew the popular names of common drugs, but nothing beyond that. what were these? there was no way she could bring it up to elias when she was clueless on what the pills were. she had been sitting there in thought longer than expected and she had to snap herself out of the small trance she was in. she placed the bag where she found it and shut the door. when she turned to ely's open door he was already watching her, and in that moment, she knew she had gotten caught for snooping.

lillian's face flushed with embarrassment, her arm reaching over to rub her shoulder nervously. "i'm sorry, elias. i didn't mean to be nosy. it was just right there and i was really curious..." her voice was tender and coy like a child who knew they were about to be scolded by their parents. lillie didn't want to believe that the rumors about her friend being addicted to harmful drugs were true. seeing the potential evidence seemed to alter her stubborn mindset on the matter. she would wait to see what he would say before her mind was made up.

the perfect girl

mareux

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[doedeer]

mood: guilty
outfit: uniform pants, black shirt, studded belt, airforces

elias

alameda - elliott smith

elias felt the cold metal tool touch his hands and immediately started working on the windshield issue. i knew i should’ve just got it replaced when they offered.. he cursed to himself, screwing in the couple bolts as the rain pelted over him with no remorse. he had to continually flick his hair out of his sights to get the job done, the little bolts slipping out of his wet fingers as he worked. he hoped lillie wouldn’t be upset at the ordeal. it was out of his control, but he did feel an annoyance at the matter.

finally he finished the job, giving a good smack to the wet hood and wiping the water from his hands onto his uniform. relieved, he walked around the open door about to offer an apology to the girl but to his surprise she was mesmerized by whatever was in his glove co- oh shit.. as she quickly closed the compartment, lillie bubbled over with her own apology.

he stood there in dismay for a split second, thinking about what to say but it was raining too hard. he hopped into the driver’s seat and shut the door, the shorter strands of his hair sticking to his face that he didn’t feel like tossing aside. he was a bit embarrassed, collecting himself for another moment. he smiled at her apologetically, “it’s okay,” he started, “i-uh..” he thought for a second that his mind was made up. just tell her the truth. his brain told him it wouldn’t be a big deal, but he felt a pang of unease at the truth. maybe to the older boys at the skatepark it would be fine, or the kids at the shows he’d frequent…hell, even at the very least a random guy at school but not to her. it wouldn’t be. that’s because it wasn’t the type of thing that was considered ‘fine’ to do.

elias felt he was in a tough spot. the inquisitive, yet concerned look in her eyes conveyed to him that she could tell him anything. she’d said it before right? either way, he didn’t want her to know about it. he didn’t really want anyone to know. he thought he’d tell her the truth, but he quickly put his head down--laidback, as though not to throw her off. he couldn’t really look her in the eye right now. he still tried to maintain a nonchalant composure, “i take medication for depression..my doctor, he prescribed me a whole bottle. lasts for months, but i don’t really feel comfortable taking the whole thing with me you know.”

he ran his fingers through his hair, his gaze still fixed on the working windshields–their swishing filling the pauses of silence, “it sucks..i don’t like it. actually, im honestly embarrassed by it.” he continued coyly, mumbling a little in his fib. he put his hand on the transmission stick and took it out of park, “sorry, i swear im not a crazy person. just a little…...sad i guess.” he cracked a hurt smile with a short, sardonic laugh to follow, his hair hanging low in his face. he still didn’t want to look at her. he lied all the time to his parents, to past friends, to teachers, but now an unfamiliar feeling of guilt probed at him. he felt bad, but he knew making this cover was best. it’s believable anyway, im pathetic-looking as it is. she didn’t need to know. although he wasn’t entirely sure how she’d feel about what he DID say. being on medication for depression so young was considered unfornate and tragic. and to some, at least probably most at their catholic school would see it as a red flag more than anything.

apart from this, he felt guilty for indulging in xanax. but after the alcohol almost ruined his life, he knew he wouldn't go back to it. besides,the little doses of xanax didn't make him an asshole or a destructive person. he felt he actually WOULD be prescribed it by an actual doctor if he had given himself a chance. and the percocet... opiates, yes, but they were just for fun. and so occasional. he barely did them.

elias ran these thoughts through his head for only a fraction of time, justifying his behavior. but he forced himself to clear his head, he hated thinking about things like this. he wasn’t hurting anyone, besides these induldgences would never hurt lillian. although the pangs of guilt pressed him, he was adamant in that.

º º code by ditto º º

 

[milkiifox]

lillian hope.

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  outfit

  
  
  
  

  xoxo
  

  
  
  

  
  
  
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  elias <'3
  

  
  
  

  
  
  

lillian was extremely adamant about listening to him explain the situation to her. the sound of rain pattering over head created a tranquil atmosphere for the somewhat uncomfortable position they found themselves in. depression? she repeated silently, tawny orbs averting to the glove compartment to further ponder his words. mental illness was certainly talked down upon in the school, albeit many times in church they had talked about its importance and how god could help. there was no doubt in her mind that elias was an amazing person, no matter what anyone else said, and she trusted him.

she took in a deep breath once he had finished speaking, allowing the silence to consume them as she found the right words to say. many others in her spot would have taken this confession as a perfect sign to walk away from the friendship. lillian, on the other hand, found it an opportunity to pursue their relationship further. knowing this information about him made her want to help him as much as she could. the downside was that she knew absolutely nothing about depression. nobody, to her knowledge, in her family or friend group suffered from the condition. her phone would definitely get taken from her the moment she arrived home, so she planned to do some research tomorrow between classes.

no matter what, she needed to convey that his confession wouldn't scare her off.

"don't apologize. i don't think it's weird or that you're crazy. thank you for being honest with me." lillian reached across the center console to cautiously grab his hand. his skin was damp and cold beneath her touch, so she collected the help of her other fingers to help warm it up. she gripped his digits in a secure manner, her expression softening back to its natural smile. "oh, and depression is nothing to be embarrassed about. it makes me really happy you were able to open up. in all honesty, i don't know that much about depression. i'm going to look it up later. i don't know if i can do anything but if you ever need something from me... all you have to do is ask."

she attempted to catch his eye, yet he was continuing to refuse to look at her. she guessed it was because he was consumed by embarrassment, but little did she know he couldn't look at her for different reasons. she huffed quietly, thought for a moment, then snuck one of her hands slowly up to his visage in order to touch his cheek. a bead of water rolled from the messy strands of his bangs and onto her digits, but she didn't mind the chilly sensation. "are you okay? there's nothing to be upset about. in fact, we can just pretend like this never happened. i promise i won't bring it up because it seems like it makes you uncomfortable."

the perfect girl

mareux

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[doedeer]

mood: amazed
outfit: uniform pants, black shirt, studded belt, airforces

elias

john wayne - cigarettes after sex

one second he was being consumed by shame and the dread that came with his fear of abandonment. the next–a sign of promise that came with a warm sensation gracing the cold, wet skin of his hand and face. lillian’s remarks were like fresh bandages on a tended wound. a sense of encouragement and security. in the silence of his self-inflicted wound, she mended without a second thought. her words cradled him in a faith that things would be okay, but his thoughts still prodded at him nonetheless. there was a time and place to berate his falsity–something he’d be forced to confront after her eventual departure–but for now there was a glimmer of peace in his life granted by her purity.

his lie was complicated, but held true to it’s provenance. elias was depressed. anxiety did consume his being often. or in better words, had always felt that sort of ache since a child. he didn’t know it at first. being ten, eleven–searching through cabinets of booze in his step-father’s study didn’t give him time to process anything he felt. by the time rehab had come along, he was shunned for his bad behaviors and left to his own devices to refine himself but this time with a lot less compassion from his peers and authorities. at 17 he’d still object to dwelling on these thoughts when it came to self-medication.

he sighed in what felt like half disbelief and half amazement, his cheek turning towards her to adjust better in her palm–gaze still dazed at the window before him. he had only met this girl and she settled decisively at his side. the female figures in his life had never been so outwardly kind in this way, it was unbeknownst to him and so her compassion for him was–at times–confusing. he didn’t know if he believed in angels–the concept of a god was already a mighty feat for him to tackle.. however if angels were real maybe it wasn’t inconceivable that her existence could prove a misconception of their origins. he stuck around that thought for a bit knowing it was silly, but it brought him a trace of happiness. lillian the angel..with intentions so pure he swore he could almost see a halo.

after the pause, he finally looked at her. his eyes peering into hers with an intensity, the way he always did.
“lillie you’re too nice to me. thank you…” his right hand reached up to envelop hers off his cheek and towards his lips, softly kissing the tops of her fingers, “that means a lot to me, but you don’t need to do anything for me.” his eyes darting for a second between her own lips and her eyes. “except i guess…hang out with me again.” he smiled eagerly at her.

º º code by ditto º º