Story [Short Story] 100% Satisfaction Guarantee

AliceNWeb

Creative Endeavoring
It was a hot day, my chapped lips and sun-kissed skin were sending painful reminders of it.
I sat there with the wind kicking up dust that lashed against my face, almost as if mother-nature was spitting on me. My brain was fried and all I could do was stare at the ground. I had been looking at the same spot of dried up desert ground for a long 5 minutes before my brain fully realized I was looking at anything at all.

A dilapidated sticker on the back of a used up, discarded, Aloe Vera bottle. It read "100% Satisfaction Guaranteed". My mind naturally clung to the statement; as pessimistically as possible (apap).

Everyone has seen the sticker a thousand times in their lives - at one point it even meant something. You could take that bottle back to the store and get your money back, or a replacement. Eventually the sticker was put on there as just another way to market another product we didn't really need. But now, after everything happened it was almost comedic seeing the sticker. I thought to myself

"I would love a 100% Satisfaction Guarantee right now."

My train of thought broke off momentarily, once again spacing out - this time on the desert's dust that collected on the sole of my boot. As some time passed I found myself staring up at the large, unusually pristine, cover that used to be part of a functional gas station. It was somewhat of a blessing - casting a large shadow overhead during the middle of the afternoon. Aside from this little gas station there wasn't much to look at. The unmaintained road stretched on like an air-strip with desert on one side, and desert on the other. The small radio clicked on breaking the natural atmospheric sounds of the wind. Short interrupted bursts of static rang through the little circular mesh.

With near cat-like-reflexes I sprung to my feet and walked to the edge of the shadow being cast by the large plastic overhead. I put one hand above my brow bone and peered into the sky, shielding myself from the sun. The other hand tightly gripped the walkie-talkie closely to my ear. I can't remember how long I'd been standing there but it was enough to make my lips start peeling and my skin to start stinging again. I stared into the endless blue above and unconsciously licked my lips; wincing from the pain.

I had almost given up when the long deep silence of my thoughts was broken by a small hum that grew in capacity the longer it went on. Way up high, probably about 30,000 ft, was the undeniable shape of an airplane heading the direction of my destination.

I leapt into action and got on my motorcycle, kicking it to life. In the next moment I was speeding down the road as fast as the bike would carry me. I had been waiting for this moment since the first day I stepped out. The feeling was that of excitement, my heart felt as though it could burst out of my chest and I was smiling so big I could feel the edges of my mouth splitting open.

As I neared the massive wall that many considered just a tall-tale, I caught glimpse of a figure next to an abandoned car. Without hesitation I reached back without looking - grabbing hold of the metal bat, custom fitted with some barb-wire and nails. I swung it with an enthusiastic amount of force; cracking the zombie's head clean off cutting the zombie's groan off and replacing it with a sickening gargle. The smell from it as I drove past almost made me wretch but even that couldn't break my smile.

I even laughed.

"One HUNDRED percent satisfaction!"

 

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